Chapter Text
“I promise I’ll do better
I will soften every edge
I’ll hold the world to its best
And I’ll do better
With every heartbeat I have left
I will defend your every breath
And I’ll do better”
Clear blue eyes watch as the drops of water fall on the ground. The sky is grey and clouded and she thinks it suits her mood. Her right hand aches mildly for her last sparring match and she opens and closes her fist, as if testing her strength. It's nothing compared to the pain of her first injuries in training when she made the deal with the queen, though.
There are faint scars all over her knuckles and for a second she tries to remember what they used to look like before she fell to the ground. With a blink, the thought and the frown are gone, and she resumes her blank, detached expression – the one she’s learnt from Azgeda kwin .
Her peace is interrupted by the familiar sound of Ontari’s boots on the ground and Clarke has to take a deep breath before turning to meet the girl. Clarke’s eyes wander over her face and she knows that despite her best efforts, Ontari still looks excited. Clarke can’t help but to smirk at that, almost imperceptibly.
In just a few hours they are going to be finally marching to Polis. Neither of them has ever stepped out of Ice Nation borders and Clarke can’t help but to feel the commotion rising inside of her. She knows how to contain it, though – better than Ontari, apparently.
The things is, she is curious. It’s in her DNA. She is a knowledge seeker – and that’s what makes her a great warrior. Azgeda is beautiful, but Clarke knows that there is more beyond this piece of land. She knows exactly just how little they all are compared to the extension of the earth.
“Ontari,” She greets the girl, eyes on the dark brown ones with chin up and hands behind her back. “Shio says that the horses are ready. Everything is packed up for tomorrow.” She informs in her duty voice as she steps away from the balcony.
The brunette nods her head once at Clarke's words and deep brown eyes search the sky girl's face for any traces of emotion about the journey they will be setting out on tomorrow.
It has been years since Nia has began plotting to gain her rightful place as leader of the 12 clans and Ontari can hardly believe that the day comes tomorrow when they will finally make their move.
Clarke has been among the Azgeda for over a year now, constantly training and improving. At first when she had arrived, she had been naive, but always strong and passionate. There are plenty of more experienced warriors that the queen could have chosen to be her champion, but none of them have the fire that Clarke has.
If she believes that the only way she can protect her people is through defeating Lexa, then Ontari is confident the girl will be able to accomplish her goal.
“Good. Now all you have to do is win tomorrow.” Ontari's voice holds the same sharpness as it always does, but it is rather clear that she is anxious despite her best efforts to remain uncaring.
If Clarke completed her duty then she will finally have her Ascension day that she's been trained for since the day the queen chose her. She lets out a deep breath, sheds the fur jacket that she has wrapped around her shoulders and she looks out of the balcony of the castle where the queen and her guest stay. There is a beautiful view of the mountains and the snowy forest and she sighs quietly.
“Are you ready for tomorrow?” Her tone is less harsh and more tired now, and she reaches up to wipe some dirt off of her face feeling the familiar scars carved into her forehead and cheeks.
Clarke bows her head once at Ontari's words and like the girl, she too gazes up to look out of the balcony. It’s a sight that she now associates with home and it somehow soothes her worries. The forest and the mountains are something constant and steady and she knows that despite the climate changes, they are unmoving.
She can feel the Ontari’s anxiousness and she understands it. She knows the importance of her win for the girl, and what it means for her. While Clarke is going to fight for her people to have the chance to be fully accepted on the ground, Ontari will be fulfilling her destiny to be Heda and Azgeda will finally flourish.
“I’ve been ready for months.” Clarke replies with a bit of harshness before sighing deeply and softening her tone. “Trikru will fall, Ontari.”
She watches as the girl wipes dirt off her face and her eyes linger on the scars. It’s something she’s used by now, and Nia has offered her to carry Azgeda marks as well. She denied it, claiming that despite being a part of Azgeda, she is Skaikru first.
“Are you ready to be Heda?” She raises a curious eyebrow, watching the girl closely, noticing the change of posture as soon as Clarke mentions the title.
Personally, she has her doubts about Ontari being a leader. She is fierce, yes, but she lacks… Something. It used to bother the sky girl, but now, after knowing Ontari and queen Nia’s story, she supports them and she will gladly bow to her once she has ascended.
Ontari lets out a deep breath and closes her fist, digging her nails into her palm.
“Yes, I'm ready.” She nods her head and gazes over at Clarke, taking the girl in. When the blonde had first arrived, Ontari had hated her. She hated the competition she felt towards her for the queen's attention and she hated how the queen would give Clarke freedom that she was never allowed to have.
And the queen never hurt Clarke. When Clarke will talk back to her or refuse her, the queen will scold her and get angry, but it's nothing compared to the things the woman has done to Ontari, so for a long time she resented the sky girl for it. Now though, she has grown at peace with it. She has decided to tell herself that the queen is so harsh to her only because she loves her and she is important. It is easier than thinking the alternative.
“When I am Heda, Azgeda will flourish. My loyalty will always lay with my queen.” Her voice is quiet and almost mechanical like she has said that exact same phrase over and over again since the day the queen took her as a child for her nightblood.
“Lexa is selfish and she is weak. She cares only for Trikru. After I have ascended all the clans will bow to us.” Her eyes land on Clarke and she gives her the slightest little hint of a smile. “We will leave early before the sun rises so we can be the first ambassadors there. It will be a long ride. Us, the queen, and one guard will come. Be smart and remember there is a no weapons rule in Polis.”
Clarke hums and shares a look with Ontari as she smiles back at the girl. They do make a good team when they work together. It wasn’t easy in the beginning, with Ontari always scolding at her for whatever reason she had back then. But now they know their limits, they know how to move in sync on the battlefield and to respect each other’s space outside of it.
Clarke has actually learnt a lot from the girl once they have established a camaraderie. She still doesn’t like how submissive she is to the queen though, as if she has no love for herself when the woman is around.
It irks the sky girl, but she doesn’t think much about it. She has learnt how to keep her thoughts to herself and to know how to mind only her and her people’s business. Everything else is just not her problem. (No matter how much her fingers itch to move, to help and fix everyone and everything).
She nods at Ontari’s warning and she knows the girl is somehow trying to look out for her. She is grateful for that. But she hates the rule about not having weapons in Polis. It leaves them too vulnerable for whatever Lexa wants to do. (And Clarke almost grunts loudly at the thought of this girl she’s learnt to despise).
She has discussed this issue with Bellamy. He too agrees with her that it is too risky to go there and challenge Lexa without knowing the outcome – and without how to defend themselves. The stories she’s heard about this ruthless, cold hearted commander only makes Clarke feel like they would be too exposed. Who is to say that Lexa won’t just laugh and kill them all?
“One guard?” She questions with a perfect eyebrow raised. Not only they will be unprotected, but outnumbered as well.
She shakes her head and starts to pace slowly, with firm steps. “It would be better to have at least three.” She stops by the balcony, lips curling down in distaste. “Although I know how it would look like for them to see us so well guarded. If Lexa is that smart, she will know our intentions in one look.”
She curls her fingers into a fist and works her jaw hard. She won’t be entering Lexa’s land without at least a knife.
Ontari listens to what Clarke is saying and she lets out a deep breath before shaking her head slightly.
“I know, Clarke. None of us like it, but carrying a weapon into Polis is punishable by death. Our guard is only allowed to come because we need protection on the ride into the capital.” Ontari tries to explain the best she can despite never having gone there herself. She remembers having a similar talk with the queen a few months ago and Nia explaining to her how risky it is.
“Lexa has all her guards stationed around Polis and within the tower when she holds assemblies. If one of them suspects you of having a weapon then you will be searched and arrested.” The young nightblood plays with a strand of her dark hair absently and let's out a deep sigh. She considers how if all goes well, she will be fighting the others in the conclave next night.
“Lexa isn't stupid. You will need to watch what you're doing in the fight tomorrow and you can't underestimate her. She has no limits as to how far she will go to win. You have been training every day though. Since she's busy with her duties, she doesn't often have time to train. I believe you can win.”
Ontari's advice is genuine and she wraps her jacket back around her shoulders to protect her from the cold breeze that is blowing in from the mountains.
She thinks about the conclave and how Nia has taught her to fight specifically for that moment, but she also considers how well-trained Lexa's nightbloods likely are and she knows that she will do anything to win, no matter how horrible.
Clarke works her jaw and she doesn’t meet Ontari’s eyes because yes, she knows about all of that. She knows about the rules, she knows she can’t carry a weapon inside Polis, although Lexa’s guards will surely be well protected – a thought that makes the sky girl growl – and she knows she can win.
Still, she won’t be stepping in Trikru land without a single weapon. She is Jake’s daughter indeed, she thinks. Stubborn and strong minded just like him – And the voice in the back of her head remembers her how exactly his path ended because of those traits.
She hums and nods slowly because she appreciates the faith Ontari has on her. They both know that Lexa didn’t get where she is by being weak, and it’s a true praise for her to hear that both the kwin and the nightblood trust her with their main plot to defeat Heda.
“I believe I can win, too.” She says proudly, chin tipped up as she welcomes the chilly wind. “Lexa is tired and most of her warriors are injured from their battle against the maunon . It should be easy to take them out while they are still on their knees.”
She then turns to the black haired girl with a wicked smile. “No mercy for the soulless.”
Ontari gives Clarke a very small little smile and nods her head once.
"No mercy for anyone." She repeats the words they have been taught so many times, again and again by the queen and the warriors. Ice Nation seconds are taught from a young age that mercy is never rewarded. It is a show of blatant cowardice and weakness that will not be tolerated. That is why their warriors are so powerful, because they are completely ruthless.
She lets out a deep breath and looks at the sun as it sinks down, partially blocked by the mountain tops.
“You should get rest. It will be a long day tomorrow for all of us.” Her dark brown eyes scan over Clarke and she nods her head, bringing her hands behind her back to symbolize a position of power, bringing her back to her more formal cover as her lips pull into a tight line.
“Until tomorrow, Clarke,” The nightblood speaks up and takes one last glance at the beautiful horizon in front of them before turning to begin walking back to her chambers.
She already knows the night will be long and sleepless, but she goes to bathe and rest, hoping she can somehow mentally prepare herself for the changes that the next day will hold.