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Jared hears the springs of the mattress for the fifth time in as many minutes and sits up in bed. “Are you in pain?”
Jensen pushes up on one elbow. “Not really,” he answers, his voice rough from disuse. “Just can't sleep.”
Jensen’s been sleeping poorly ever since he got out of the hospital, mostly due to the pain he won't admit he's in, but also due to vivid nightmares that the doctor says are a sign of post-traumatic stress from his accident that were triggered by the new injury and extended hospital stay. Jared gets out of bed. “I have an idea.”
Jared retrieves Jensen’s wheelchair and pushes it up to the bed. “What? I don't want to get up.”
“It’ll help,” promises Jared. “Just trust me on this.”
Jensen grumbles a little but maneuvers himself into the wheelchair. Jared hands him a shirt to put on, since it's a little chilly at night still. Jared pulls a beanie on over his bed hair and wheels Jensen out the front door and down to the Saturn that Jeff lent them to use until Jensen can get into the Bronco by himself. He helps Jensen transfer to the passenger seat and folds up the wheelchair, stashing it in the backseat. Then he climbs in the driver’s seat and starts up the car. He hooks his phone to the cassette adapter and turns on his favorite REM playlist, then points the car toward the nearest state park, which is about a half hour away. It's technically closed, but they'll stay on the outskirts. He just wants to go someplace that they can see the stars.
Jensen leans his head back and watches out his window. “I missed this,” he says softly. “It ain't the same, being on this side.”
“I know.” Jared reaches over and pats Jensen’s thigh gently. “But it's the best I can do.”
“Wasn't complaining.”
Jared nods. There's no one on the roads at this hour, which is a switch from their chasing days. The Saturn has shitty steering, even shittier than his truck, but they get there without too much effort. Jared pulls onto a side road, unsaved and deeply rutted, and drives until there's a break in the trees. Jensen opens the window, as does Jared, and they both lean their seats back and just gaze up at the stars.
“At My Most Beautiful” comes on the stereo, and Jared takes Jensen’s hand and looks over at him instead. Lit by only moonlight, Jensen’s jaw and cheekbones stand out in stark relief, chiseled down to sharp angles with the weight he’s lost—almost twenty pounds since the lightning strike. The painkillers and the pain itself dampen down his appetite, and even Sam’s nightly food deliveries don't do much to stimulate him to eat. Jared locates a half-full bag of peanut M&Ms in the back seat and hands it to Jensen. “Have some of these. You’re wasting away.”
Jensen dutifully downs a half-dozen or so and hands the bag back. “Well, it's something.” Jared tosses the bag back on the seat behind him.
“Daysleeper” is next, and Jared smiles a little at how apropos it is. Jensen rolls his head till he's facing Jared. “You're quiet.”
“Quiet night,” replies Jared. “I don't feel the need to fill up silence. Or babble nervously because I'm terrified of you,” he adds with a sheepish grin.
“You weren’t terrified of me,” scoffs Jensen.
“Yeah, I was,” counters Jared. “You were such a dick to me, and I thought it was my fault somehow. I was terrified to say or do anything ‘cause everything I did pissed you off.”
“Yeah, well, I'm sorry about that,” says Jensen in a low voice.
“I forgive you,” says Jared, giving Jensen a soft, fond smile. He leans over and presses a kiss to Jensen’s temple. “And I love you.”
Jensen frowns. “You gonna make me say it?”
“I don't need you to,” replies Jared, and he's telling the truth. “I know how you feel about me.”
“You saved my life,” says Jensen, and it's slow, stretched out, and Jared hopes that means Jensen’s almost asleep.
“I did, didn't I?” Jared pulls back, lets go of Jensen’s hand. It drops to the seat, and Jared knows Jensen’s asleep. Thank God.
Jared also finds a half-full water bottle in the backseat and drinks it. He’ll stay until Jensen wakes up or the sun rises, whichever comes first, and then he'll take Jensen back to town for another day of PT and excruciating boredom.
But for now, he’s content.