Chapter 1: A thread of hope for me to spin around you
Chapter Text
"Jaybird, didn't you tell me you had somewhere to go?"
Jared's gaze focused on his watch and his eyes widened.
"Three o'clock? Oh, no! I promised Sandy we'd meet this morning to talk about the wedding!"
Chad snickered.
"Seems to me like you stood her up. Again."
Jared groaned and hid his face in his hands. "It's like I'm going for a perfect record," he muttered.
Chad patted his shoulder.
"Don't be so hard on yourself, man. I'm sure she knows you love her, and for chicks this romantic crap is all that counts."
Jared nodded weakly.
"Yeah, remember all those Sundays you spent listening to her rambling about the perfect caterer, the perfect dress and the matching napkins, when you could have been with me, stuffed full of pepperoni pizza, watching the NFL?" Chad pointed out, but Jared just sighed.
"Well, that was a while ago. Things have changed since then."
Chad rolled his eyes.
"Of course they have. At least back then you'd have gotten laid after she talked your ear off."
Jared glared at him, even though some part of it did have a point. A soft knock snapped them both out of their reverie, and the door of Jared's office opened to reveal a tall, blonde guy wearing a blue suit with matching tie.
"We're leaving, Jared. You coming to have lunch with us?" he asked.
"Yes, Jared, go have lunch with the accountants! They'll cheer you up," Chad retorted with a disturbing smirk.
Jared just shook his head, showing them both a sad looking granola bar. "Thanks, Jen, but I'm gonna eat here."
Jensen narrowed his eyes. "Trying to make partner is one thing, but you are working way too hard, Jay. And you're not taking care of yourself at all," he added when he saw Jared opening his mouth to answer.
Then, he snapped his fingers. "What if I cooked you dinner tomorrow night at my place? I'm good with barbecue," he suggested, with a shy little smile. "I guarantee it will be tofu-free."
Jared fidgeted under Chad's inquiring gaze and Jensen's hopeful expression, before sighing. "I can't, Jen. There's the rehearsal dinner, tomorrow, and I really can't let Sandy down again."
Jensen's smile dimmed, but when he replied, his voice sounded cheerful enough and if Jared hadn't been paying the amount of attention he had been to him, he might have been fooled.
"That's so sweet! You are a great ex-fiancé, Jared" Jensen stated. "Give Sandy my congratulations and best wishes, will you?"
Jared smiled. "Sure thing."
Jensen seemed to be about to say something else, but after a side glance at Chad, he left.
As soon as they were alone, Chad stood up and rubbed his hands together, grinning like a loon.
"You are so in there, buddy!" he exclaimed, slapping Jared's back. "He’s only been here six months and already he wants to cook for you!"
Jared glared at him. "Jensen's great, man, but I'm just not ready. Okay?"
Chad huffed."You've been saying that for two years" he protested "it's time for you to loosen up, have some fun. Sandy moved on, Jay. Why can't you?"
Jared just stared at him, unable to find an answer that wasn't I'm scared as Hell.
I know you think you're doing the right thing, Gabriel, but I know where your heart truly lies. Don't forget that you learned all your tricks from me, little brother.
Those were the last words Gabriel had heard before Lucifer stabbed him square in the chest with the only weapon that could kill him. For a moment, he thought he saw sadness and regret shadowing Lucifer's eyes, but maybe it had just been a trick of the light. His brother hadn't understood him in hundreds of years, why would he start now? Besides, the whole killing him with a blade put a definite stop to any fantasy Gabriel's creative mind could start pondering.
It was wrong, it had always been wrong, since when they were both still living in Heaven; Lucifer was so beautiful, so perfect back then...it still hurt to think about it. Gabriel closed his eyes with a sigh and gave in to the numbness that came with being on the verge of disappearing. He’d asked Lucifer once where angels go when they die but his brother had only smiled sadly and said that the eventuality had never been contemplated.
"Angels just don't die, and if they ever do, they simply will be no more" he’d answered, his clear, intense gaze focused on something too far away for Gabriel to see.
That's how he had always remembered his brother: a dreamer, a free spirit, a soul with a vision too big for him and an ego too swollen to really realize how things were going to end. At this point, Gabriel usually shook his head, unwrapped his candy and tried to drown melancholy and nostalgia in sugar and debauchery, but this time he had no power, no distraction. This time, he was dead. Done for. Finito.
Oddly, that didn't explain why he could still feel and think in the first place. His eyelids fluttered and he slowly opened his eyes; the bright light surrounding him should have been a big clue, but he couldn't believe it. He moved a couple of shaky steps towards where the light grew in intensity. The gate was there, as white and glorious as he remembered it, shining with the silent promise of an eternity of bliss, and Gabriel felt a couple of tears run down his cheeks.
He thought he'd never see any of it again. He thought he'd lost the right. He’d dirtied his body, turned his mind impure, acted against everything he knew. So, what was he doing there? As if to confirm his fears, the gate slid closed in front of him.
He could still hear the flapping of his brothers' wings from behind the doors, and his heart clenched in his chest, suddenly craving everything he willingly left behind so long ago. For a moment, he was tempted to slam his fist against the gate until someone came to open, but before he could actually raise it a well known voice greeted him. "Hello, Gabriel."
His head snapped back and, sure enough, there was Castiel standing there in front of him.
He was still wearing that hideous trench coat his vessel seemed to like so much, and, even more surprisingly, he was wearing the vessel. In Heaven. Gabriel blinked. "What is this? You don't take him off anymore, not even when you're at home?" he inquired, going for light and failing spectacularly.
Castiel slowly shook his head, his big, blue eyes staring at him intently. "You see me as you choose to see me," he told Gabriel, tilting his head to the side "I suppose the reason why you think you're staring at my vessel is the same as what makes you look like yours."
Gabriel's gaze shifted nervously. "Drop the act, Cas. Who are you, the new sheriff in town?"
Castiel's lip twitched. "I never understood why you resented Dean so much. You two are quite similar, underneath it all."
Gabriel clenched his jaw. He had a very good reason to 'resent' Dean. In fact, he loathed him. Not that it was all his fault, to be honest.
"Anyway," Castiel continued, his tone back to meaning strictly business "I don't like this any more than you do, Gabriel."
Gabriel snorted. "Sure thing," he replied, ironically. "As Joshua used to say, don't hide your light under a bush."
"He keeps saying it. To all of us" Castiel said, and Gabriel arched an eyebrow.
"He's still here? Really?"
Castiel nodded.
"Taking care of the garden, I suppose."
"And about everyone else?"
Another nod. "They are all here, waiting for you. Angels don't really die, and they don't disappear either" Castiel explained. "They come back here. After all, we are pure spirit, pure soul. There is no way we could just stop being."
Gabriel wondered for a brief second if Castiel had heard him and Lucifer talk about it way back then, but the thought was gone pretty quickly. "I don't suppose Uriel, Zachariah and their group of fanatics are here too," he trailed off, and Castiel shook his head.
"I didn't think so" Gabriel sighed, as all those centuries spent breaking purposefully every single rule his Father had given him flashed right in front of his eyes. How stupid he had been. "This gotta be some kind of mistake," he muttered. "I'm not fit to be here, and we both know it."
Castiel stepped closer. "We hear that a lot" he pointed out, motioning for Gabriel to follow him as he walked away from the gate.
Gabriel swallowed. "Are you absolutely certain?" he couldn't help but ask, still hesitant. "This is really it?"
"Absolutely," Castiel answered, and Gabriel finally felt a heavy weight he didn't realize he was carrying lift from his shoulders.
"Will I...will I get my wings back, then?" he asked, hoarsely.
Castiel stopped walking and turned back towards him. "I'm afraid it's not going to be quite that easy," he started, as Gabriel arched an eyebrow.
"What's complicated about it? I either get them, or not," he retorted, and if Castiel noticed the way his voice cracked on the last couple of words he didn't show it.
Castiel put a hand on Gabriel's shoulder. "The only ones with black and white cases are those who led a virtuous life, Brother" he reminded him. "You, on the other hand..."
"Oh well, now, I know I ain't exactly been a saint or-an archangel, for all that matters, but then...who is? I've died for our Father's creatures, Castiel" he pointed out, a very well known fear of rejection gnawing at his stomach.
Castiel's grip on him tightened. "I know that, Gabriel," he kept going, patiently ."But you spent the last two thousand years, give or take a few hundred, doing exactly as you wanted. You have never thought of anyone else but yourself. You do realize your only selfless act didn't really balance the scales of your existence?"
Gabriel narrowed his eyes.
"If you had no intention of sticking a halo over my head, why the hell did you drag me up here? To mock me, punish me for my sins by showing me something I will never be allowed to have? Why didn't you just send me down with the other rejects? " he snapped, his fists clenched in rage. How could someone so cruel and soulless call himself angel of the Lord?
Castiel glared at him, breaking the contact. "That certainly is an option," he growled. "Show some respect, Gabriel. I brought you here to give you a chance, but I can throw you right in the Pit if that's what you want."
Gabriel deflated instantly faced with Castiel's cold and steely tone, uncurling his fingers and breathing out slowly. Castiel looked pleased. "I did take your most recent actions into consideration," he said solemnly. "You sacrificed yourself to protect humanity, without considering the consequences it might have on you. That showed a glimmer of hope. You might just be better than the man the record of your life reflects, brother. Better than what you turned yourself into. That is why I decided to give you a chance to redeem yourself and get your wings back. Besides, back when you were still an Archangel and resided in Heaven, I was quite fond of you."
Gabriel fidgeted. "What do you have in mind?" he asked, and Castiel made a humming sound.
"You will return to Earth" he explained. "You will help two guys in trouble to find their way to each other; you will have three days to set things right."
Gabriel blinked. "What's wrong with them?"
"They're soul mates," Castiel said. "They just can't see it yet. They're at a crossroads, right now, and if they keep fighting it, they will be miserable for the rest of their natural lives."
"But-I thought our Father was against that. I mean, Leviticus and all that jazz?" Gabriel objected, confused, and Castiel shook his head.
"Humanity has just barely survived the apocalypse," he stated, softly. "We are at war. Maybe love is not enough to save the world, but it's more than enough to save one soul after another. That's all we really have right now to counteract darkness and misery on Earth. We need to protect it as much as possible."
Gabriel nodded, dumbstruck, and Castiel went on. "If your mission is successful, you will get your wings back and your role as an archangel will be restored."
Gabriel bit his lower lip. "What if it's not?" Castiel's shifty look told him all he needed to know. Failure was not an option.
"There are only three rules you have to follow," Castiel added.
"I hate rules," Gabriel muttered, but Castiel ignored him.
"Number one: you are not to tell anyone your real purpose. Number two: you must avoid certain temptations that, given your record, might present quite a challenge."
Gabriel arched an eyebrow. "Wait, what are you-"
"Just avoid any sort of physical temptation and you will be fine," Castiel interrupted him, almost rushing through his words, which only confused Gabriel further.
"Well, I will give it my best shot" he replied.
Castiel muttered something that sounded like make it a bull's eye but it was too low for Gabriel to be sure of what he heard.
"If you need me, just call. I will try to respond promptly. "He had already started walking away before he turned and came back. "One last, very important thing" he concluded, remembering the last rule. "You must complete your mission before the sun sets on the third day."
What am I, the little freakin' mermaid? Gabriel thought. But all he said was "you got it."
Castiel nodded, satisfied. "Now if you excuse me, brother, I am late."
"Late for what?" Gabriel asked, but a beam of white, blinding light exploded behind his eyelids and he felt himself falling. He clenched his jaw and braced himself for the impact, hoping with all his heart that whatever it was he had to do would work. He wanted to gain entrance to Heaven once again, but he also rather desperately hoped he wouldn’t disappoint Castiel.
The angel was going against orders and protocol just to give him a chance. Gabriel was damned, literally, if he was going to repay such trust with anything except a smashing success.
"I don't care if you have to move Heaven, Hell or Earth, Chad. I want everyone in my office in exactly thirty-five minutes." Jared was pacing fast on the sidewalk, growling in his headset. An accident had forced him to park his car and walk and now he was running late. He couldn't afford these sort of slip ups, not now, not when the promotion was so close.
"Get Jensen to call me ASAP-no, you asshole. He has to give me the figures for last year so I can compare them with our current status and make heads or tails of this mess. Jesus, do you ever think about anything else?"
He could feel his cheeks burning at Chad's mention of a booty call between him and Jensen. The man was gorgeous, anyone with eyes could see that. But, there was no way anything was going to happen. Jensen was strong, out and proud. Jared was still straining to define himself.
After four years with Sandy, he finally manned up and asked her to marry him. It only took six months for them to realize they were never going to make it work. It was partly because when Sandy introduced Jared to her gay cousin something snapped . Finally Jared had to admit that maybe there was more to him not wanting sex often than the fact he was always tired.
They had broken the engagement but stayed friends. Sandy eventually found another man who really loved her and was about to get married.
She asked him to bring a date, and Jensen's face had instantly popped into his mind, but-no. It was too soon. Distracted by Chad's voice in his ear and his own thoughts, Jared didn't notice he was standing in the middle of the street until a loud honk made him lift his head. A speeding truck was headed right for him, and he probably wouldn't have had time to move away even if he hadn't been frozen on the spot.
Chapter 2: The hell that I've been going through before you
Chapter Text
Gabriel landed with a oof right on a patch of grass, which partially cushioned the fall. He stood up rubbing his ass. His gaze fell on a shop window next to him and his eyes went wide at the striped shirt, dark jeans and leather boots he was wearing.
"You gotta be kidding me," he muttered. "All I need is a Stetson and I'll be ready for Brokeback Mountain!"
As if Castiel had heard him, a brown cowboy hat landed right on top of his head. "Very funny," he growled, looking up.
It looked like after all the time he had spent with Dean, some of the older Winchester's terrible sense of humor had rubbed off on the stern angel. A scream snapped him out of his reverie, and he saw the back of a man frozen right in front of an oncoming truck; without even thinking about it, he pounced, knocking him out of the street as the truck drove by honking furiously.
The man was muttering something, and Gabriel realized he was probably crushing him, despite the different in size. He was huge. "Try to look where you're going, dude," he snapped, slapping the guy's shoulder. "You're not immortal, you know? You could have died." The man shook his head, as if to clear it up, and a mop of dark brown hair swayed around his face.
He looked up and straight at Gabriel, with a sheepish smile. "Sorry, man, I don't where my mind was at. And thanks, you saved my life."
"Oh, that was n-" All the color left Gabriel's cheeks in a second, and he was left to open and close his mouth, unable to continue.
The guy's expression shifted into worry as he frowned. "You okay, there? Are you hurt?" he inquired, cupping Gabriel's face with a hand and checking him for injuries as his hazel's eyes searched Gabriel's.
Gabriel felt like he couldn't breathe, and before he could try to calm himself down everything went dark around him. His last conscious thought was Sam.
"Hey, can you hear me?" The familiar voice came muffled from somewhere above him, and Gabriel tried to delay the moment he'd open his eyes and discover it was all in his head, but then long fingers threaded through his hair and he let out a soft sigh, as his eyelids fluttered. There he was, with his stupid haircut, hazel eyes and that little mole of his, still looking concerned.
"Sam" he called out, hoarsely.
"Thank God. What happened?" Sam blinked. "You fainted after saving me" he explained.
"Oh, wow," Gabriel murmured, slowly sitting up and reaching a hand to grab Sam's arm. "I had the worst nightmare, man! You were gone, and I was dead, and-"
Sam cleared his throat, effectively stopping him. "Listen, I'm grateful, really, but, uhm. I'm not Sam. My name's Jared."
Gabriel's hand stopped half-way and he clenched his fist, then lowered it to his lap. "I see," he said. "Jared. That's a, uh-cool name."
The guy scratched the back of his neck, chuckling nervously. "Yeah, well. Thanks. What's yours?"
"Gabriel," he blurted out before he thought about it. Then he realized that there was no way Jared would connect the name with an archangel, and exhaled carefully. His gaze moved away from the well-known, earnest face, because it hurt too much to look at. However, even if Jared did look painfully like Sam, the more he was next to him the more Gabriel could feel in his bones he was not Sam. It was just like the first time he met the younger Winchester. He’d been stunned to recognize a part of Lucifer's heart somewhere in him. Now he knew with certainty that Jared had a different heart but it still hurt.
Suddenly, Jared squeezed his wrist. "Take it easy," he said, softly. "Everything's okay. You’re okay. Hell, I am, too. If it wasn't for you, I'd be dead by now. Thanks again."
Gabriel swallowed. "It was nothing, really," he answered, fidgeting.
"Once you've rested a bit, can I drive you somewhere?" Jared offered. "I mean, from your duffle bag and your clothes, I guess you're not from around here," he added quickly. "I thought that maybe I could take you to wherever you're staying, you know, to repay you."
Gabriel snorted. "I don't even know where I'm staying," he replied. "I have no pow-I mean, no clothes, no money, nothing, basically," he corrected himself. He had never needed anything when he still had his grace.
Jared arched an eyebrow. "How long have you been here?"he asked, and Gabriel was grateful for the change of topic.
"I just arrived," Gabriel answered, shrugging. "It was sort of a...spur of the moment decision." That's putting it mildly he added, in his head.
Jared nodded. "And how long are you staying?"
Gabriel fidgeted. "Three days."
Jared bit his lower lip, obviously thinking. "I don't mean to be too forward," he started, cautiously, "but given your situation, why don't you let me loan you some money?"
Gabriel was stunned. "You'd do that?"
Jared smiled. "Of course. I'm alive because of you, it's the least I can do. And as far as a place to stay goes, I have a guest room and you're welcome to use it for as long as you need to."
Gabriel opened his mouth to say that no, it was really not necessary and he had a mission to complete, but right then he looked up and saw Castiel, completed with trench coat and stern expression, arching an eyebrow at him and nodding towards Jared. Fan-fucking-tastic. Jared was his mission. Of course.
He clenched his jaw. "I guess I'm not in the position to refuse," he muttered, and Jared's smile got wider.
"Well, then it's settled!" he exclaimed, clapping his hands. "Now let's go get some lunch, I'm starving."
Gabriel frowned. "Don't you have, like, work to do?"
Jared made a face. "Nah, I'm yours for a few more hours. After the accident, I called up my office and took the rest of the morning off. They were pretty surprised about that, considering I've been kind of a workaholic bastard, lately, but what can I say? Seeing your life flash in front of you does give you some perspective."
And sure enough, Gabriel was the last person on the planet who would argue with that.
They ended up at a fast food place Jared claimed made the best burgers in the world. "So, tell me, Gabriel," he began. "What do you do for a living?"
Gabriel choked on his food. "I've practiced law, medicine, office work..." he trailed off, suddenly self-conscious.
"Wow, I'm impressed," Jared replied, staring at him with wide eyes. "I can't even find a good secretary. I just fired the last one this morning. Fourth in a month."
Gabriel swallowed the bread he was chewing on."I'm a great secretary" he stated, eagerly. "I type, I file and I'm great with computers."
Jared scratched his chin. "I don't know if you'd be interested, but I could really use some help in the office."
"Of course I'll help," Gabriel exclaimed, loud enough that few head turned.
Jared chuckled. "Okay, great, I'll take you with me when I go back after lunch" he said, shaking his head.
They ate in silence for a while longer, and Jared seemed to be studying Gabriel.
"Are you gay?" Jared blurted suddenly.
Gabriel's jaw dropped.
"You don't have to tell me!" Jared flailed his arms, as he blushed. "It's just that, I am, and I just don't-"
"Yes." Gabriel's answer was out of his mouth before he could stop it, and staring at the way Jared's stiff back relaxed he was glad it did.
"How did you know?" Jared asked, leaning towards him, and Gabriel swallowed, hard.
"Fell in love with a...close friend. A male friend. It didn't work out." It isn’t a straight out lie he told himself.
Jared nodded, shifting in his seat. "Did you ever get married?"
Gabriel snorted. "No. And that's a shame, because I'd look awesome in a wedding tuxedo."
Jared stared at him for a split second, then he tipped his head back and laughed, a full, warm, happy laugh that warmed Gabriel's heart.
He was so joyful, so different from dark, troubled Sam and rebellious, powerful Lucifer.
"You're an interesting man, Gabriel," Jared stated, once he had calmed down. "I can't figure you out."
Gabriel waved a hand dismissively. "Being out with you is the most fun I had in...hell, I don't even remember how long," he retorted, and Jared's smile softened.
"You definitely have to go out more," he said, but before he could add anything else his phone started ringing and he excused himself, stepping outside of the restaurant to pick up.
Gabriel was left alone with his thoughts and the confusion lashing out in his mind and heart. This was not Sam. Or, Lucifer, for all that mattered. But...Someone once told him that all things are possible. Would it include a third shot at happiness, even for a sinner like him?
"What do you think you're doing, Gabriel?"
Gabriel gasped and turned abruptly. Castiel was standing there, arms crossed and jaw clenched.
"You stay away from him, brother, you hear me? Jared is not yours."
Gabriel narrowed his eyes. "He likes me, Cas. And he looks like-"
"I know," Castiel hissed, interrupting him. "But he is not either of them. And you are not human, Gabriel. I'm warning you."
And with those last, threatening words he was gone. Gabriel gripped at his napkin so tight his knuckles went white, shaking in rage. He was human for three whole days. And he was not going to step back again.
"Morning, Sophia," Jared greeted the receptionist. "This is Gabriel. He's gonna be helping me today." Gabriel offered the girl a charming smile, but she simply shrugged. She was wearing her copper hair all in disarray, and a lavender jacket that was way too big for her. There was no trace of make-up on her too pale face.
"Which agency are you with?" she asked in a bored tone, and Jared shook his head.
"No, he's not from an agency. He's from out of town, so if you could just get him situated here and then show him around, I'd appreciate it." He patted Gabriel's shoulder and left them alone.
Gabriel fidgeted under Sophia's inquisitive stare, so the girl waved a hand dismissively. "I need some information for our employees' database. Last name?"
Gabriel bit his lower lip. "Er, uh-Smith."
Sophia arched an eyebrow but typed it in without comment. "Address?"
"Your employer's guest room," Gabriel replied.
That got a long pause. “Right. Your previous position?"
"Sitting?" Gabriel muttered, annoyed with the girl and himself for wasting precious time with a useless task like creating a plausible identity for himself.
Sophia glared at him.
"Listen, beautiful, how about we speed this up, uh? You obviously don't want to do this and trust me, neither do I. There are better ways for me to entertain myself. So, last job?"
Gabriel blinked, surprised. Well, well, looked like the girl had some attitude hidden away. "Heart surgeon," he answered. He supposed that his last trick would count as a job. From the way Sophia's eyebrows disappeared into her hairline, maybe he was mistaken.
"Well, hello there," Gabriel turned his gaze away from the computer screen and focused on the guy approaching his desk. He was wearing a hideous green shirt with a purple tie and had short blonde hair and squinty blue eyes, and beaming a friendly smile at him.
"Need any help?" he asked, and Gabriel shrugged.
"Nah, I can handle anything. But thanks."
The guy sat on the corner of his desk and looked over, assessing him.
"You just deleted weeks of work, man. I'm pretty sure you need some guidance."
He typed a couple of commands and the four folders that had mysteriously disappeared from Gabriel's desktop reappeared.
Gabriel shifted in his chair. "Uh," he searched for an explanation, "I just-"
"No worries." The guy slapped his shoulder. "Starting a new job can be rough, I get it. We’ve all been there."
Gabriel nodded curtly, clenching his fists in his lap. He hated not being in control, and it was true that he had always been able to handle whatever he had needed to, but without his powers everything seemed to be different, and he was lost. Not that he'd ever admit it, obviously, but still. The guy's smile softened. "Lighten up, dude, we're good. I'm Chad Michael Murray, I work with Jared," he introduced himself, offering his hand to Gabriel.
Gabriel shook it firmly. "Gabriel."
Chad looked at his watch and noticed he still had a few spare minutes before his break ended. "Maybe I could give you some computer tips?" he offered, and Gabriel nodded again.
"I never say no to learning" he muttered, as his phone started ringing. It was Jared, requesting Gabriel's presence in his office immediately.
"Sorry, Chad, maybe next time," he said, standing up.
"Wait, I'll come with you," Chad replied, standing too. "You don't know where Jared's office is."
Once they entered, Jared pointed at Gabriel. "He's the guy I was telling you about," he explained to Chad. "The one who saved my life yesterday. He's staying in my guest room, for now, until he gets his life together." Gabriel swallowed, and offered Jared a small smile.
Chad cleared his throat. "I guess I'll take a rain check on that lesson," he said, shrugging.
"Gabriel, could you go get the red manila folder from the copy room? We're gonna need it," Jared asked. Gabriel nodded, and walked away.
"Man, you really took my advice to move on to heart, didn't you?" Chad whispered, chuckling, as soon as they were alone.
Jared glared at him. "It's not like that" he whispered back. "I don't know what you're thinking, but there's nothing going on here."
Chad arched an eyebrow, unconvinced. "So you're saying that if I wanted to tap that you'd be okay with it?"
Jared gaped at him. "Chad, you're not even gay!"
Chad shrugged. "Still." Jared rolled his eyes and kicked his friend out as soon as Gabriel was back with the files. Sometimes Chad was really hard to understand.
Jared's hand kept going to the back of his neck as he talked, and at some point Gabriel started to worry.
"Jared, what's wrong?" he inquired.
"Nothing, I just-I think I sprained my neck," Jared answered.
"I can fix that," Gabriel told him, walking behind Jared's chair and starting to massage the affected area.
Jared tried to stop him, and said he was fine, but when Gabriel's fingertips started pressing in all the right places, he just arched his head back, closed his eyes and groaned. "Damn, you're good at this," he murmured, and Gabriel felt a spark of desire running down his spine. The lines were blurring, and suddenly the guy melting under his touch was not Jared anymore. This was Sam, with the weight of the world resting on his young shoulders, and he was letting Gabriel take care of him. Not Dean, but Gabriel.
He shivered at the implications, as the massage melted into caresses and his palms slid down, towards Jared's chest. "You put all your stress and pressure right into your neck and shoulders," Gabriel murmured. "I've never had an headache in my life, because I always speak my mind."
Jared just hummed, completely relaxed against him, and Gabriel forgot about everything but the feeling of Jared's defined muscles until everything came crushing down when the door opened. "What the hell is going on?" a voice growled.
Jared sat up in an instant. "Jensen, hi. This-my neck is hurt" he blurted out, and Gabriel felt a familiar pang in his stomach. He didn't need to turn to know whose face was going to be staring at him in rage, but Jared was introducing him and he really had no choice.
The distant glimmer of hope was wiped out as soon as his eyes met well-known green ones.
Dean. "Hi Gabriel, I'm Jensen" he was saying, and Gabriel mechanically shook his hand.
"I'm temping for Jared today" Gabriel replied, hating how shaky his voice sounded.
Jared frowned. "You okay?" he asked, worried, and Gabriel shook his head. Get a grip, dammit! he ordered himself, as he forced a smile. He could see Jared and Jensen's lips moving and he could hear their voices, but he couldn't for the life of him focus on anything they were saying. "Excuse me, I-maybe I should go get some air. I’ll be back" he muttered, before bolting.
Chapter 3: In sacred halls or crowded streets
Chapter Text
"You must have contemplated this possibility, brother" Castiel stated gravely, as he sat next to him on the bench right outside the building.
Gabriel snorted. Of course he had. Made perfect sense. Castiel had been talking about soul mates and destiny, and really, no other couple in the universe would fit the bill more than them. How could a guy compete with that? "That doesn't make it hurt any less," he whispered, more to himself than to Castiel, but the angel nodded nonetheless.
"I understand."
Gabriel narrowed his eyes.
"Do you?" he snapped.
"You have no idea how hard it is for me."
Castiel clenched his jaw. "You are not the only one who is hurting," he replied, quietly, but there was something in his stance that threw Gabriel off.
"Are you-you are pissed at me" he realized, blinking. "Why?"
Castiel looked away. "I am not...pissed at you."
Gabriel's confusion increased. "Yes, you are! Why? Why do you care so much about all of this? Why do you care so much if I get into Heaven or not? I slammed you against walls, I tied you up, I-" Gabriel stopped abruptly.
"Why?" he asked again, softly.
Castiel looked at his hands. "It just irks me that you can't move on and rise above all fears whirling around you," he murmured. "It's like you're more interested in the wrapping paper than in what's inside." Gabriel opened his mouth to reply, to deny, to explain, but Castiel laid a hand on his arm. "Why is it that some people can't see a good thing when it's standing right in front of them? What is it that messes all of that up?"
Gabriel stared at him, unable to answer. "Are you talking about humanity, angels or me?" he inquired, his voice just as low as Castiel's, as if he was afraid to break whatever connection had suddenly appeared between them.
Castiel offered him a tired, sad smile. "If there's a difference, let me know," he answered, quietly, before vanishing.
When Gabriel got back in the office, Jared and Jensen had already left for some sort of meeting, and he was glad. He knew his mission was to get them together, and he knew he had less than three days left to do it, but he wasn't ready yet. He wasn't sure he was ever going to be. He was curled up in a corner of the copy room when Sophia found him. One look at Gabriel's face was enough for her to understand that drastic measures were needed, apparently, because she grabbed his arm forcefully. "Come with me," she ordered, and Gabriel followed her in an empty office. "Sit."
Gabriel obeyed and they stared at each other in silence for a while. "I don't understand," he said, looking at his hands clenched tightly in his lap. "I'm used to get everything I want just by snapping my fingers. I've never had to fight for anything, I-I've never been rejected. Failure is just something that doesn't happen to me."
Sophia crossed her arms on her chest and sighed. "Look, we can't all succeed at everything. Okay? Maybe you've been lucky, until now, but that's not how things go for the rest of us common mortals." She sat next to him on the couch. "We each have our own talent, and we just need to learn how to exploit it to the maximum, you know?"
Her expression turned bitter. "Take me, for example. I'm freaking awesome with computers, and I can type like a machine, but I can't get this one guy from the office to even look at me. I've learned to do everything he could need, just to be able to be around him and help him when he needs me, and still...nothing." She sighed again, looking away. "Maybe it's just not meant to be. But that doesn't mean you can't-"
Gabriel grabbed her hand. "Don't say that," he interrupted her. "That's not true. Just give yourself a chance." He didn't even know what he was going to say until the words just leaped out of his mouth, and once they started, there was no way to stop them. Words of courage, words of faith. Words of hope and love. All those words he had forgotten were ingrained in his mind, all those warm and fuzzy feelings he knew were what made the human race so special in his Father's eyes. As Sophia's resigned expression lightened and a spark ignited in her eyes, Gabriel slowly started to remember why he had been created in the first place. Maybe it wasn’t too late to fix it.
The bathroom's door opened and Jensen entered, as Jared washed his hands. "Fancy meeting you here," he said, with a smile, and Jared smiled back.
"You look great today, Jen" he said, taking in the creamy jumper his colleague was wearing and the dark green pants. Jensen chuckled, scratching the back of his neck.
"You don't look too shabby either, Jay," he replied, pointing at the black suit and the tie with the peacock feathers.
"It's an important meeting, I dressed to impress," Jared stated, his cheeks flushing slightly.
"Yeah," Jensen's murmured, openly checking Jared out.
"So, Gabriel did quite a number today at the office," Jared said, trying to change the topic and to lessen the heavy sexual tension crackling between them.
Jensen hummed. "Yeah, but still for some reason Sophia loves him," he said.
"He's something, isn't he?" Jared agreed.
They looked around, embarrassed, before finally leaving the bathroom to go back to their offices. Jared's gaze kept shifting from side to side and Jensen squeezed his arm. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you are detailing your briefing in your mind, right now," he chuckled, and Jared looked sheepish.
"Sorry, I just-this means a lot to me." Jensen's expression softened.
"I know, Jay. But you don't have to worry. You'll do great."
Jared's shoulders relaxed a little. "Thanks, man." They got into the elevator, in silence, until Jared huffed and turned towards Jensen. "How do you do it?"
Jensen blinked. "Do what?"
Jared bit his lower lip. "Every time I'm with you, I forget all about work, pressure, clients..." Jensen shook his head, amused and a little touched, too.
"You still think about those things way too much. It's not healthy, you know. Life should be fun."
Jared chuckled. "You really believe is that simple?" he inquired, and Jensen shrugged.
"Could be" he answered, softly.
Suddenly the atmosphere shifted, and they were not talking about work anymore. Jared swallowed.
"Jen, I-" Right then, the elevator's doors opened and more colleagues stepped in, forcing them to postpone the conversation; as they stepped out, Jared went left looking for Gabriel. It was time to go home, and he really couldn't stay close to Jensen much longer without revealing everything he had been working so hard to conceal.
"I didn't ask you before. How's the guest room?" Jared asked as they walked to his car. "Haven't used it in a while, I guess there was a lot of junk in there."
"Nah, it's perfect" Gabriel replied. "Thank you so much for letting me stay, I'm having a terrific time here."
Jared smiled. "Glad to hear that. Me too." He stepped closer and for a moment Gabriel thought Jared was going to kiss him. He had dreamed about this moment for centuries, pictured it in his mind again and again, and he always thought there were going to be fireworks and sparkles. He thought his whole existence would have finally made sense, and everything he had to endure was finally going to pay off. But now, now that they were close, now that they were about to touch, all he felt was an inexplicable sense of emptiness.
Jared was not who he wanted, and Gabriel was not going to condemn Jared, Jensen or himself to never ending misery.
Castiel's words finally made sense, and he got it. He had been clinging to a memory, to something he had wanted for so long he didn't even know how not to, and failed to realize he had moved on. Somehow, at some point, his heart had moved on and Gabriel had missed it.
"You're such a nice guy, Jared," he said, moving a step back. "You deserve to be happy. I...I gotta go." He offered Jared a small, apologetic smile and then ran away, leaving him standing there alone.
Jared blinked, confused, but then shrugged and stepped into his car, turning the ignition on.
Gabriel only realized he was in front of a church when the door opened by itself and a soft music made him lift his gaze. The sky was darkening, which meant he only had one day left to complete his mission. He stepped in cautiously; he hadn't entered a church in such a long time, too afraid of the consequences of his actions to risk it, and now every hesitant step felt like a small victory.
"Cas, I gotta talk to you," he murmured, standing in front of the altar with his hands deep inside his pockets. "Can you hear me? I really need you, right now," his voice wavered. This was too much, too soon and he didn't know how to deal with any of it. "What am I doing here, Cas? How am I supposed to help these people? I mean, it's not like I've been doing a bang up job with my own life." He bit his lower lip, sitting down.
It was obvious that Castiel was not going to answer, and he couldn't go back to Jared's house.
He sighed, rubbing his palm against his forehead. When did everything get so complicated?
"I know what you're gonna say" he whispered. "I screwed up again, yeah, but-I've been doing my best, dammit! You could have warned me."
"Would you have come down if I had?" Gabriel jumped and turned towards Castiel, who appeared right next to him. He thought about it. Castiel was right, if he had known who was he going to be supposed to help, he'd have probably refused straight away. And he would have never had the chance to close the book on his past.
"I guess not," he sighed, and Castiel nodded. "They need you, brother," he stated.
Gabriel blinked. No one had ever needed him before, especially not the way Jared, Jensen and their friend did.
"And you need them, if you don't want to go to Hell," Castiel added, but Gabriel just shrugged. He had stopped caring about his own fate when he'd jumped in front of that truck.
"Whatever happens to me, I gotta set things right here, before I go. I just gotta." As he said it, he realized that if he actually went through with it, it was going to be the first problem he wasn't going to walk away from. For the first time in his life he was going to finish what he started. And wasn't that an exhilarating sensation? He was too busy facing the moment to notice Castiel's expression softening right before the angel vanished.
Gabriel entered Jared's office, closing the door, and faced both Jared and Jensen who were sitting at the desk going over a project. "Before I leave, there is one more thing I have to say to you," he began, staring straight into Jared's eyes. "I don't know if it's grief or plain stupidity and I don't really care, but you have burrowed yourself so deep in work that you can’t see what has been right in front of your face all along. Life is short, man, in one minute it all can be gone just like that." He fidgeted. "You have every right to tell me I have to mind my own business, and I don't really know anything about you or your life, but you will still have to face your problems and fears at the end of the day, on your own, alone and starving for something that you can't find and don't really know."
Jared blinked, gaping at him, and after a handful of seconds Gabriel started getting antsy. "You know, this is the part where you say you are right, Gabriel, I finally see the light! How can I ever thank you?" he said, ironically.
Jared let out a small, bitter chuckle. "Nice to see at least one of us has a clear mind," he muttered.
"But I still don't know how..."
"You're a smart guy, you'll figure it out," Gabriel interrupted him.
"Just believe in yourself a little more, okay?"
Jared nodded, and Gabriel stepped out. Right after that, Jensen stood up. "I'll be right back" he said. As he stepped out into the hall.
"Gabriel!"
Gabriel turned, surprised to see Jensen running after him. "I just wanted you to know that I agree with you, everything you said just now I've been trying to tell him for over six months."
Gabriel swallowed. "Well, I'm known for speaking my mind, even if it does get me into trouble more often than not, let me tell you" he joked, trying to lighten the mood. Without realizing it, he had followed Jensen and they ended up in his office. As soon as he entered, his eyes went wide. The room was full of angels. Porcelain, wood, paper, metal. There were angels on every available surface, and on the walls.
"Wow" he murmured, amazed. "They're beautiful."
"Well, thank you" Jensen said, sheepishly. "I have a thing for angels, I guess."
Gabriel stepped closer to the shelves. "They are all so different and unique."
"I love them all," Jensen said, grabbing one of the smallest ones and caressing it gently. "I started buying them during my trips around the world, and then friends started giving them to me as gifts." He turned to smile at Gabriel. "You can never have too many angels watching over you."
You're right about that Gabriel thought, trying his best to smile back. "So tell me, Jensen, how long have you known Jared?"
Jensen's cheeks flushed. "I, uh. Six months, give or take a few weeks."
Gabriel nodded. "What do you think about him?"
"He's a wonderful man," Jensen replied without hesitation. "He's doing his best. I know he is." He sighed.
"His heart is in the right place, he's just afraid of getting close to anyone."
Gabriel stared at him for a long moment. "You really care about him, don't you, Jensen?" he inquired, already knowing the answer.
Jensen chuckled nervously. "I-of course I do! He's a dear friend and a colleague, and-there's nothing, you know, more than that."
Gabriel looked at his flushed cheeks, the shifty eyes and the fidgeting posture and shook his head.
"Of course not." He turned, but Jensen grabbed his arm.
"Do you really have to go?" he asked, and Gabriel shrugged.
"It's probably better for everyone."
Jensen's expression went sad. "I don't think so. Yeah, you caused a lot of trouble around here, but we all like you and I'm sure Jared wants you to stay."
Gabriel looked away. "He didn't try to stop me," he retorted.
Jensen sighed. "He's just-give him a little time, yeah? Jared can be a stubborn son of a bitch when he wants to. He'll come around."
Gabriel stepped away. "We'll see."
Gabriel was cleaning up his desk when Chad approached him. "Why don't you come stay at my place?" he invited, stepping closer.
"My house is bigger than Jared's, I have a pool, and maybe we could-"
"Oh please, stop it," Gabriel interrupted him, rolling his eyes.
Chad blinked. "What?"
"You don't even want me, Chad. Why are you inviting me to your place?"
"Isn't that what you want?" Chad asked, frowning.
"Hell no!" Gabriel exclaimed.
"What made you think that?!"
Chad stared at him, opening and closing his mouth a couple of times, before sighing.
"You're right. I'm sorry for acting this way."
Gabriel shook his head. "You don't have to act at all, man. You can find someone who loves you for just who you are, no need to be a Casanova.”He patted Chad's back. "I mean, look at you. You're friendly, you're funny and you're-not ugly at all."
Chad chuckled. "Yeah, well, that's the most honest thing anyone has ever said to me," he said, surprised, and Gabriel smirked.
This angelic business wasn't all that difficult, once he got the hang of it. "In fact," he concluded, nodding to the side, "there's someone right here who would be glad to prove me right." Chad followed Gabriel's gaze and his eyes went wide. Leaning against the reception counter there was a beautiful young woman, with long coppery hair bouncing on her naked shoulders. She was wearing a light blue top and skin tight jeans, and her laughter was clear and bright.
He swallowed. "Is that..."
Gabriel smirked. "She only needed a little push. Just like you. Go talk to her."
Chad nodded, stunned, before moving closer to her. "Sophia" he called out, his breath catching when she turned towards him. He cleared his throat. "I-it's getting late, so I thought...maybe you'd like to grab a bite after work?" She beamed at him and that was all the answer Chad needed. Gabriel smiled, satisfied, and then left.
"Wow, why didn't he just run me over with a damn truck?" Jared muttered, once Jensen was back in the office, and Jensen snorted.
"Because he knew that his words would hit closer to home" he replied. "He wanted to get a reaction out of you, seems to me like it worked."
Jared sighed. "You think I'm an idiot, don't you?"
Jensen's expression softened. “No, Jay, I don't. But I will if you don't go talk to him."
Jared stared at him for a moment, before standing up and running after Gabriel.
Gabriel was already outside of the building when he stopped. He cared about them now, and not because of Sam, or Lucifer. Jared and Jensen were good people, they deserved their happiness and-wasn't he giving it all up, again?
"You're right, Gabriel" a familiar voice said, right behind him. "I do see the light. And...what was the last part?"
Gabriel turned, finding Jared standing there, a tentative smile on his face. "How could I ever thank you" Gabriel repeated, and Jared nodded.
"Oh, yeah, that. Well, I'd like to thank you by offering your job back, if you still want it" he answered.
"You didn't even give me the two weeks notice, and I wouldn't have approved it, anyway." Gabriel's gaze shifted, and Jared stepped closer.
"Please?" he pleaded, puppy eyes in full force. "I do apologize for being such a hot head and for making you want to leave. What can I do to make it up to you and show you I'm not as bad as you think I am?" Gabriel crossed his arms on his chest.
"You could start by taking both me and Jensen to dinner on Wednesday night, to repay us for putting up with you" he said, and Jared frowned.
"Jeez, I have a business dinner that night which I really can't..." Gabriel arched an eyebrow.
"I think I will be too sick with the flu to attend" Jared concluded after a small pause. "How about Wednesday at 7, my treat?"
Gabriel grinned. "You're on, Sasquatch."
Chapter 4: I rose up from the pain and hurt
Chapter Text
"So, we're going to dinner with Jared on Wednesday night, and he's gonna pay," Gabriel announced, entering Jensen's office, and flopping on his chair.
"What? Why?" Jensen asked, confused, before his eyes went wide.
"Wait, so this means you're staying?"
"For now" Gabriel answered vaguely. "For a while. That's not what I wanted to talk about, though."
Right then, there was a knock on the door and Chad's head appeared. "Hey, man, I need to talk to you," he said nervously, looking straight at Gabriel.
Gabriel blinked, but shrugged. "Sure." He followed Chad outside and towards his cubicle.
"What's going on?" he asked, when he saw Sophia already there, waiting for them. Chad gave him a printed paper; on it, there was the copy of a newspaper article about a Crawford's Hall's janitor found dead in Muncie, Indiana, in an empty hotel in the middle of nowhere. Gabriel's dead vessel was portrayed on the front. He swallowed. "How did you find this?" he inquired nervously, since he wasn't sure how Chad's discovery was going to influence his mission.
Chad waved his hand dismissively. "Everybody thinks I'm so easy to fool," he stated smugly.
Sophia slapped his arm and took the page away from him.
"Never mind that, anyway. The question is why did you fake your own death? And how did you do it?"
Gabriel wanted to roll his eyes, but it would have given too much away, so he just blinked, as Chad went on speculating about what could have been happened.
"Maybe you're a con artist," he muttered. "Maybe you’re linked to the mafia?"
"You watch way too much TV, Chad" Sophia interrupted him and turned towards Gabriel. "Are you in federal witness protection?" she asked excitedly, and Gabriel groaned.
How was he supposed to get out of that mess? "Okay, you got me" he said, in the end. "I confess. This office job is just a cover, and I'm only going to be working here until the Feds find me a place to live."
"I knew it!" Sophia exclaimed, beaming.
"Who did you squeal on? Did you see a murder?" Chad asked.
Gabriel bit his lower lip. "I'm afraid I'm not allowed to talk about it, guys" he answered, hoping they were going to leave it alone.
"Of course he's not, dummy" Sophia hissed, glaring at Chad.
"And you two can't squeal on me either, okay? If anyone gets wind I'm here, we're all in danger" Gabriel added, thanking God, Castiel and everyone who was listening for how freaky and geeky the new couple was.
Sophia sighed. "Of course we're not going to say anything, but...you just got here. I don't want you to go."
Gabriel smiled at her. "And I wish I could stay," he answered, softly. "Lots of things would probably be different if I could. But I have no choice." For a moment, he really, honestly wished he did.
Gabriel couldn't sleep, that night. Too little time left, too many things to do, too much to think about.
He padded to the kitchen, yawning, intending to get a sandwich or at least a glass of warm milk, and was surprised to find Jared there, sitting at the kitchen table, looking lost. He looked up when he heard Gabriel entered the room, and offered him a tired smile.
"Fancy meeting you here" he said, half-heartedly, and Gabriel just sat across from him.
They stayed like that for a while, without saying a word, until Gabriel had to speak. "Jay, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?"
Jared looked at him. "Sure, go ahead."
"Have you ever thought about maybe trying again? With someone else?"
Jared blinked. "What?"
Gabriel shrugged. "I mean, I think it's about time, don't you?"
"That's the farthest thing from my mind right now" Jared replied, maybe a bit too forcefully. "Maybe if I meet the right somebody, someday, then...I don't know."
"Maybe you've already met the right somebody" Gabriel objected, and Jared gaped at him.
"No, I haven't!"
Gabriel smirked. "Somebody smart, attractive, great personality and incredibly patient" he listed.
"You know, sometimes what you're looking for could be right under your nose."
Jared's gaze shifted. "Gabriel, I-I like you, very much" he said, fidgeting on the chair. "I think you're a wonderful person and yeah, of course you're hot, but-what happened the other night, that wasn't..."
Gabriel's eyes went wide when he finally understood what Jared was trying to say.
"Oh, no," he corrected quickly. "I wasn't talking about me. I know you'd never-I mean, of course you-"
Jared cleared his throat when Gabriel didn't continue.
"So you didn't think-"
"Of course not!" Gabriel exclaimed, lifting both his hands up. “I didn't-did you?"
"No, definitely not." Gabriel took a deep breath. "Good, then."
"Yep."
Jared stood up, shifting uncomfortably on his feet. "Well, good night, Gabriel."
He left, still scratching the back of his head, and Gabriel huffed in frustration. Why was it so damn difficult?
All of them kept playing along, making it seem like his mission had a chance. Jared was different, though, different from Sam, and Lucifer. He was his own person, and maybe this time…Suddenly, the light flickered, and Gabriel glared at the ceiling. "He got it wrong, for God's sake," he hissed. "I didn't do anything. What, I can't even think, now? I might be dead, but I'm not dead, you know, codfish?"
Jared appeared on the door. "Everything okay here?" he inquired.
"Yeah, yeah" Gabriel said, dismissively. "I was just talking to myself. You can go back to bed."
Jared looked around the kitchen, but everything looked fine, so he just shrugged, said goodnight again and left.
"I'm only human," Gabriel murmured, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"No you're not," a familiar voice pointed out. Gabriel perked up, turning around and finding Castiel leaning against the sink. "I don't think you're fully appreciating your situation, here" Castiel said. "I warned you about the rules, brother. Don't go getting so involved that you can't walk away: staying on Earth is not an option." And with a flap of wings, he was gone.
Life was so unfair! He had finally met him, and had the chance to start it all over again the right way, for once, and wouldn't you know it? He was dead. And on a mission to save his own ass from Hell. "Just my luck" Gabriel grumbled.
"I tell you, Jensen is one of the most wonderful men I've ever met," he started, trying to make it sound true.
Wasn't too hard. "You're right! He's sweet and down to Earth," Sophia agreed, and even Chad nodded.
"Yeah, Jen's cool."
"He must have a gazillion of men around and after him."
Chad snorted. "No, he doesn't," he explained. "Too shy, too quiet and not into random hook-ups. Kind of a loser, in the queer world."
Sophia elbowed him, but didn't say anything.
"Is that so," Gabriel said, feigning surprise.
"Well, I don't understand why Jared never snapped his fine ass up, then."
"Why are you asking this?" Chad inquired, suddenly.
" Are you after his fine ass too?"
"Hell no," Gabriel retorted, making a face. "There's no human being on the planet I'd shag less than De-Jensen. So not my type. And you can call me crazy, but I just have this feeling about Jared and him."
Sophia clutched her hands together. "I think the same thing," she confessed, and Gabriel grinned.
"Then why don't we try to help them along with it?" Chad looked like he was going to be sick, but Sophia was squeeing and bouncing on her chair, so Gabriel considered it a victory, somehow.
The coffee mug fell from Jensen's hands straight on the floor, crashing in a million pieces and staining the white moquette with spilled coffee. His cheeks were beet red, and Gabriel didn't really need him to reply to his You're in love with Jared, aren't you comment. The answer was written on Jensen's face as clear as day.
"Dammit, man, if that is the way you feel, why the hell didn't you ever say anything to Jared about it?" Gabriel exclaimed.
Jensen clenched his slightly shaking hands in his lap. " Are you serious? He used to be engaged with a woman, Gabriel" he retorted, but Gabriel simply shook his head.
"Maybe he was, but that doesn't stop him from undressing you with his gaze and eyefucking you every time he thinks you're not looking, does it?"
Jensen swallowed. "Yeah, well, I don't know. He’s been a mess for so long and I didn't want to be a rebound, you know?" he said.
"And then the work situation came into the picture: he's working his ass off to become partner, and I'm working under him-it could be tricky."
"Besides, he's your best friend, you're so close...almost like brothers, right?" Gabriel added, resigned to the same dynamic to weigh on them in this reality as well.
"So not only you don't want to risk losing your friendship, but you're not even sure it would be appropriate."
Jensen blinked, his eyes wide. "How do you know that?" he demanded.
Gabriel just shrugged. "I guess you're right. Some things are just not meant to be," he said, almost bursting into laughter because Jesus, the guys were fucking soul mates and there was hardly anyone else as meant to be as them.
Ignoring Jensen's dropped jaw, Gabriel dug happily in his paper bag. It felt so good to be able to stuff his mouth full again, after he thought he'd never be able to again.
"How can you eat so much sugar and not become diabetic?" Jensen asked, and Gabriel snickered.
"I don't even know if I am diabetic" he replied, chewing on a chocolate bar, "but where I'm going it's not going to matter anyway."
Jensen frowned. "Where are you going?"
Gabriel cringed. Damn him and his big mouth. "It's a long story" he said, vaguely. "Far from here, that's for sure."
Jensen looked surprised. "So you are leaving, then. Even though Jared apologized? You really can't forgive him?"
Gabriel sighed. "That's not the problem, trust me," he muttered.
"Then what-"
"Anyway," Gabriel interrupted him, crumpling up the now empty bag. "We have dinner with Jared, tonight. His place, at seven."
"Why would I come?" Jensen protested.
"You are the one he has to make amends with! If I came, it really wouldn't be..."
"So help me God, Jensen, if you say appropriate I'm gonna punch you in the face," he snapped.
"You're coming and that's final.” With that, he stomped away, rolling his eyes. Who would have ever thought that face could be even more annoying without Dean's assholish personality underneath?
The guy was an intolerable jerk, but at least he had guts. And class.
Jared left his briefcase next to the entrance door and shook his raincoat off, then he looked up and noticed the candles, the elegant table cloth, and the nice set of plates. Three plates.
"Welcome home," Gabriel greeted him, with a beaming smile from above a stepladder.
"What are you doing?" Jared inquired, frowning.
"Just trying to fix this light bulb, but it's stuck," Gabriel replied, trying once again to unscrew it from the lamp.
"Smells divine," Jared pointed out, stepping closer. "Did you cook?"
"Nah, I had help."
"Do you need a hand with the bulb?" Jared asked, but Gabriel shook his head, biting his lower lip in concentration.
"If you could just-steady the ladder for me..."
He pulled harder, and the light bulb finally came off, but Jared didn't grab the ladder on time and Gabriel lost his balance and fell right on top of him. They tumbled on the floor in a tangle of limbs, laughing.
"Déjà-vu," Jared said, still chuckling, and tried to stand up, but Gabriel didn't let him just yet. He knew it was wrong, and he knew he shouldn't, but it was only going to be a second. Jared's body was a hard line under his, and he smelled so good. The light bulb fell from the lamp, crashing on the floor and snapping him out of his reverie.
"Great catch," he muttered, scrambling up "let me get a broom."
"Gabriel..." Jared started, confused, but Gabriel just lifted a hand.
"Just get ready for dinner, okay? Jensen will be here any minute."
Jared blinked.
"Jensen? What-"
That's when Gabriel lifted his eyes and saw Jensen standing right outside the house, next to his car, as he stared at them.
"I'll be right back" he said quickly and ran out of the room, dread filling his chest.
"Jensen, wait! Don't go, please!"
Jensen froze, his hand on the car door's handle. "Look, this was a mistake" he said, his voice cold "I told you I shouldn't have come."
"I don't know what you saw just now, but-"
"I saw the way you looked at him," Jensen snapped, turning and narrowing his eyes. "So don't give me that crap."
Gabriel swallowed, his gaze shifting. He couldn't deny it, and no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't even take it back. His chest hurt. "Jensen, listen," he tried once again as Jensen got into his car. "Just let me explain! It's not what it looks like!"
Jensen clenched his jaw. "Fuck off, Gabriel."
As Jensen drove away, leaving him alone on the sidewalk, as the guilt ate him away, Gabriel heard steps approaching. "Don't say anything," he murmured weakly. "Just…don't."
"I wasn't going to," Castiel replied, quietly.
"Why do you even bother showing up, anyhow? You're not helping when the damage has already been done," Gabriel retorted, and Castiel sighed.
"What did you expect, Gabriel? What do you want me to do? This is your mission, not mine."
"Give me some damn guidance, show me the way, do something," Gabriel exclaimed, with a frustrated groan.
"Isn't that your specialty taking humans out of the darkness and into the light?" Castiel looked at him. "That only works with humans that are willing to be taken" he said.
"Oh, shut up," Gabriel growled.
"At least give me more time. Twelve hours are never going to be enough to do the trick."
"The Good Lord created Earth in seven days, Brother" Castiel pointed out. "And, aren't tricks your specialty?"
Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Well, they would be if I had any powers to do them with," Gabriel protested. "This might come as a big surprise, but I don't have any. And I am most definitely not God."
Castiel smiled. "But you're made in His image, you know that. And in a world where you're fighting for the chance to get your wings back, anything is possible."
"What does that even-" But Castiel was already gone.
"I hate him" Gabriel muttered, stomping back in the house. He really needed to think this through.
Chapter 5: You never know where one might be
Chapter Text
Jared walked fast as he entered the office. He had forgotten a few documents he wanted to go through before the following morning's meeting, so he had come back to get them. Passing Jensen's office, he saw that the light was still on and stepped in. He couldn’t miss a chance to mock Jensen for being a workaholic and was already looking forward to the friendly banter that comment was going to generate.
He stopped mid-step when he saw the boxes.
"What's going on, Jen?" he asked, and Jensen threw him a glance, as he kept packing.
"I'm quitting" he replied, drily.
"Quitting?"
"Yeah, I got a better offer, so. I'm not coming back to work tomorrow. I'm leaving."
Jared let out a disbelieving chuckle. "You're joking, right? Didn't you already rejected that offer?"
Jensen's step faltered. "I talked to them a few hours ago, and apparently they're still interested."
Jared blinked, confusion and a weird feeling he didn't understand making it hard to breath. "I don't get it, Jen, why now? All of a sudden?" he asked, and Jensen shrugged.
"This is not all of a sudden, Jay. This has been coming for a long time. I need some changes in my life."
Jared arched an eyebrow. "I just-if that is true, then why didn't you say anything before? I thought we were-"
"What? What did you think we were, Jared?" Jensen snapped, dropping his books and getting into Jared's personal space.
Jared took a step back, his gaze shifting. "A team" he muttered. "I thought we were a team."
Jensen stared at him, then snorted and turned his back on him. Jared grabbed his shoulder to force him to turn again. "Is this about me? Did I say or do anything wrong?"
"Don't be so self-centered, Jared, not everything revolves around you," Jensen retorted. "This has nothing, absolutely nothing to do with you. It's about what I need to do for me."
"You can't just leave," Jared exclaimed. He knew he sounded desperate but quite simply didn’t give a damn.
"Give me one good reason I should stay," Jensen retorted, and Jared grabbed his other shoulder too.
"I need you" he said.
All the fight seemed to be sucked out of Jensen, who sagged. "You do?" he asked, hesitantly, and Jared nodded, suddenly nervous under Jensen's expressive, wide stare.
"Of course I do" he answered "I'm this close to become partner, and I need for all the numbers, the reports and the data to be compiled in that neat, clear tables you do. You're a great assistant and an even better accountant, so-"
A wall fell behind Jensen's eyes, and he stepped back and away. “Of course" he said "of course, I'm a fucking awesome accountant, Jay, that's why they're gonna pay me a shitload of money and maybe make me partner in my new company. How about that, huh?"
"That was just an example" Jared said, taken aback, but Jensen was done listening to him. He grabbed his briefcase, his coat and a small box from his desk and stormed out, muttering. “I'll send someone to get the rest of my things.”
Jared followed him in the hall, calling out for him until he stopped walking. "Jen! Jen, listen-"
"No, Jared, you listen" Jensen interrupted him as the elevator's doors opened. "My name is Jensen."
Gabriel watched the whole scene, hidden behind a column, and ran after Jensen once he saw Jared standing smack in the middle of the hall with a lost expression on his face, as he stared at a picture that fell from the box Jensen was carrying.
Castiel was right outside the building waiting for him.
"Where do you think you're going, Gabriel?" he inquired. "It's almost night."
"But I haven't finished my job, yet!" Gabriel protested.
"Not till I find that knucklehead and I get him with Jared! You gotta give me more time, Cas, I'm begging you here."
Castiel sighed. "We had a deal, Gabriel" he said "you had your chance and your time is up. I'm sorry."
Gabriel clenched his fists. "Well, I guess I won't be wearing my wings any time soon, then, because I'm not leaving until they're together," he stated, firmly. "Say hello to Joshua and the others from me, will you? Tell them I tried, but I've left too many things undone in my life and I'd like to finish this one." Without another word, he ran back into the building; he was not going to be able to do this alone. Castiel looked at him until the office's door closed behind him, then vanished.
"Jaybird!" Chad's bouncy tone was the last thing Jared wanted to hear. He had just gotten home, and Gabriel was nowhere to be found.
"Chad, this is really not a good time, so-"
"Man, I just received a call from Elwood. He wants to meet you for drinks tonight, 10 o' clock, in the bar of the Huntington Hotel. Said it wouldn't take long, but it was important."
Jared blinked. That was his boss, the one who was supposed to make a decision on who was going to be partner. "You sure about this? Doesn't he realize how late it is?" he grumbled.
"Hey, he's the boss. If he says jump, you gotta ask how high," Chad pointed out. "That's the way the cookie crumbles, dude."
Jared groaned. "Yeah, I guess you're right." He fidgeted. "Did you...did Jensen call you?"
Chad chuckled. "Why would your lovemuffin call me, of all people?" he asked, amused.
Jared cringed. "No reason," he muttered.
"Okay, I'll call you later to tell you all about it, yeah?"
"Don't sweat it," Chad replied, before he hang up.
Jared sighed, tried to fix his hair in the mirror and left once again.
"Yes!" Chad exclaimed, fist-pumping.
Now we only need to convince Jensen to be there too," Sophia said, bouncing excitedly.
They called, but Jensen's cell phone kept ringing.
"Damn," Gabriel grumbled, pacing up and down the hallway.
"Let's try his house phone," Sophia suggested.
After the third ring, Jensen answered.
"Yeah?"
"Jensen Ackles?" Sophia asked, in a lower voice.
"This is he."
"Mr. Ackles, this is Mr. Elwood's assistant" she explained.
"Mr. Elwood wishes to meet you for drinks tonight at 10 o' clock in the bar of the Huntington Hotel."
Jensen paused. "I already faxed him my resignation letter, I don't think there's much more left to discuss" he said after a while, and Sophia looked at Gabriel with a worried expression.
Life or death he mouthed, and Sophia added "I'm afraid he said it's practically a life or death matter."
Jensen sighed. "Well, if it's that important I guess I'll be there," he conceded in the end.
While Sophia ended the conversation, Chad and Gabriel highfived. Now everything depended on if Jared was going to be able to finally be honest with Jensen and, most importantly, with himself, and none of them was going to be able to help him with that one.
"This is a classy joint," Chad said, whistling, once they had entered the hotel. "But I don't see them anywhere. I told you this was a dumb idea, man."
Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Have faith, Chad. Sometimes it's all you need," he replied, his gaze shifting from side to side trying to locate Jared or Jensen.
"Besides, we're early. And we have to find a place where we won't get noticed."
Chad arched an eyebrow. "Maybe you should have thought about it before you wore a Stetson and cowboy boots to a 5-star hotel," Chad muttered, and Gabriel kicked his shin.
"Hey guys!" Sophia exclaimed, joining them.
"What are you doing here, Soph?" Chad asked, his arm already wrapping around her waist.
"Well, I was on the highway, headed back home, when I started thinking that Jared and Jensen's whole future could be decided tonight. How could I miss it? Gabriel would have commented on how melodramatic that sounded, but couldn't help sharing the feeling.
"May I help you?" a waiter interrupted them, and Gabriel asked for a table in the darkest corner he got.
"Why did he wear a golden cowboy shirt if he didn't want to be seen?" Sophia asked in a whisper.
"Beats me" Chad replied.
"Hello, you should have a reservation for Henry Elwood," Jared said, approaching the hotel's reception desk, and the waiter nodded.
"You're the first one here, would you like to be seated?"
Jared nodded back and followed him to the table.
"So far, so good," Gabriel murmured, playing nervously with his napkin.
A few minutes later, Jensen approached the reception desk.
"I'm meeting Mr. Elwood" he explained, and the waiter informed him that his guest had just arrived.
"Please, follow me."
As soon as he was next to the table and saw the back of the man already sitting, Jensen's eyes went wide.
He would have recognized that mop of brown hair anywhere. "Jared?"
Jared turned abruptly and stood up. "Jen-sen," he corrected himself.
"What's going on?" Jensen inquired, and Jared shrugged.
"I was going to ask you the same thing," he admitted.
"I got a call from Elwood saying this was a life or death situation," Jensen explained, and Jared nodded.
"Me too." Jensen fidgeted, stepping back. "Well, if you came I'm sure he won't be needing me too, so I’ll-"
"Wait," Jared interrupted him, grabbing his wrist. "Since you're here, I need to tell you something before you go."
Jensen glared at him, but sat down anyway. "If you're gonna ask me to come back to work, you can save your breath," he stated, but Jared was already shaking his head.
"That's not it," he said, and shifted his hold so that he was intertwining his fingers with Jensen’s.
"I've been an idiot, Jen. I met you when I was at my very worst, and you still liked me enough to become my friend when I didn't even like myself. You gave me a chance, and then another, and then another when I kept screwing up. You've stuck around, and made me feel like maybe I could have another chance."
Jensen swallowed, and looked away, but Jared squeezed his hand to make him turn back.
"I've gone through hell, and you know it, but you were there for me every step of the way. I was blind to it, and I'm sorry for taking this long, but now I see my future clearly and I want you in it. God, it's like-like you're my destiny and this was meant to be, somehow. Say it's not too late?" His voice cracked a little on the last few words, and it was him who had to look away this time.
When Jensen didn't reply, he dared to throw a glance at him: all he saw was kindness, tenderness and so much love shining through his green pupils that for a moment Jared couldn't breathe. "This was the sappiest declaration I've ever heard" Jensen said, smiling softly, but his voice was shaking, so Jared knew he didn't mean it.
"If you kiss me, I’ll shut up," he suggested, and there was no surprise when Jensen leaned in and did just that.
"We have to go there and give them shit forever for this" Chad stated, standing up. "Come on, babe, you know you want to congratulate them." Sophia, whose eyes were all teary and whose lower lip was trembling, nodded enthusiastically and stood up, following him.
Gabriel shook his head with an amused smile and moved to go with them, but right then Castiel appeared in front of him. "It's time, brother."
"Not yet," Gabriel protested "I have to-"
"It's time to go back," Castiel repeated, stepping closer.
"Your job is done. They don't need you anymore."
Gabriel looked down at Jared and Jensen, blushing furiously as Sophia squeed loudly and Chad slapped them on the back laughing. "I can't leave without at least saying goodbye," he murmured.
"It's too late," Castiel explained. "They won't remember you've ever been here, Gabriel."
Gabriel lowered his head.
He expected as much, but it didn't make it hurt any less. "There's no need to be sad, you should be rejoicing instead," Castiel pointed out. "You have succeeded admirably and you have given them the greatest gift of all."
"Yeah, but-"
"And, just as important, you have learned to see beyond yourself," Castiel interrupted him.
"Now you remember the joy that giving can bring, and that's all I ever wanted. That's what being an angel is all about."
Gabriel swallowed. "Does that mean that I'm really going to get my wings back, after all?"
Castiel smiled softly. "You were willing to give them up for them. You have passed the final test. Welcome back, brother."
The gates were still as imposing and intimidating as he remembered, but there was a gentle light beckoning him this time around. Gabriel closed his eyes and breathed deeply, letting his soul fill with peace as his grace was restored.
"Thanks, Castiel," he murmured, knowing the angel had to be close by.
"You're welcome," Castiel replied, appearing by his side.
"You having one last sneak away for old times' sake before going back to sheriff duty?" Gabriel inquired, and Castiel chuckled softly.
"I guess so."
They just stood there in companionable silence for a while. "Are you going to miss it? Earth?" Castiel asked.
"I don't know yet," Gabriel answered, surprisingly honest.
"Nothing is ever going to be the same, though, that's for sure. Not me, not Heaven, not Earth."
"You didn't need to be on Earth for all of that to happen, Gabriel," Castiel said.
Gabriel arched an eyebrow. "You think?"
"Trust me" Castiel insisted. "You had it in you the whole time."
Gabriel turned towards him, surprised. "What?"
Castiel's gaze shifted. "The person you've become, the kind hearted, sensitive and caring being that you've only recently discovered...the one I always knew you could be."
"Because you were very-fond of me?" Gabriel retorted, trying to lighten up the mood.
Castiel just smiled sheepishly. "Still am."
Gabriel stared at him, gaping, then suddenly cleared his throat.
"So...should we get back inside before I get into trouble? Because I really don't think I can afford any more trouble" he stated, with a nervous chuckle.
"Sure thing" Castiel agreed, a soft expression on his face. "I shall go first."
Once he was alone, Gabriel looked around, trying to get used to the feeling of belonging he had almost forgotten during the centuries he spent away from home. If he didn't know any better, he would have thought that the whole thing had been a dream: Loki, the Trickster, Sam, the apocalypse...all of it.
It felt like he had never left, and even if everything had changed, it all somehow managed to get better, so Gabriel decided that he was going to be pretty okay with it.
cheerful
(Previous comment deleted.)
trinipedia on Chapter 5 Sun 27 Aug 2023 10:48PM UTC
Comment Actions
(Previous comment deleted.)
trinipedia on Chapter 5 Sun 27 Aug 2023 10:55PM UTC
Comment Actions
(Previous comment deleted.)
trinipedia on Chapter 5 Sun 27 Aug 2023 11:01PM UTC
Comment Actions