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Everybody knows.
Everybody knows about his feelings except for her. The one person who needs to know.
Levi doesn’t understand why every other goddamn person seems to know that he feels a little more than mere comradeship towards Hanji. He doesn’t believe he’s been particularly obvious, but Erwin tells him he is less inconspicuous than he thinks.
“Still, I’m surprised you of all people are having difficulty saying what’s on your mind,” Erwin says, faintly amused. They’re sitting together in Erwin’s office, drinking tea, although Erwin notes Levi hasn’t touched his cup yet.
“It’s a lot easier telling someone they look like they haven’t had a fucking dump in years than what I want to say to Hanji,” Levi replies, annoyed. “And it doesn’t help that other members of the Scouting Legion keep giving me an encouraging thumbs up everywhere I go.”
Erwin tells him he is overreacting.
“Then tell me why Dot Pixis stopped me in the street the other day to offer me a bottle of whiskey and tell me that he’s observed in his youth that ‘a little glass or two is enough to inflame the depths of hidden desires?’ Or why Ian, Rico and everyone else in the fucking Stationary Guard had the gall to smirk at me?” Levi doesn’t bother to hide his irritation. “They know and they’re not even in the Scouting Legion.”
To his credit, Erwin manages to keep a straight face.
Mike corners him before the day’s meeting, and suggests Levi should try smelling Hanji’s hair.
Levi crosses his arms and glares at him, utterly unimpressed. “And what exactly, would that achieve?”
Mike shrugs. “Nanaba seems to like it.”
“Just because Nanaba humours your sniffing fetish doesn’t mean anybody else will,” Levi replies icily. He doesn’t bother mentioning that it’s impossible to know whether Hanji has even washed her hair recently on any given day, and that sniffing Hanji’s hair is the equivalent of giving oneself a chance at toxic poisoning.
“Or maybe you should try doing something nice,” Mike says, ignoring Levi’s previous comment. “A thoughtful gesture goes a long way, you know, like opening the door for her or something.”
“Hn,” Levi thinks it sounds stupidly simple, but figures its better advice than hair sniffing.
He waits until the meeting starts, and sets his plan in motion when he sees Hanji entering the room. Levi quickly beats her to her usual seat, pulling out her chair for her. Hanji just stares at him, perplexed.
When she doesn’t sit down, Levi begins to grow impatient. Scowling, he points at her, and then at the chair. “Sit.”
Silence fills the meeting room. Levi glances at the other two occupants. Erwin looks dimly entertained while Mike has his fist shoved in his mouth, desperately trying to stifle his laughter.
Feeling a hand touch his brow, Levi turns his head to see Hanji peering at him closely, eyes squinting. “Levi, are you feeling alright? You do look a little tired. Have you been having nightmares since that day Eren’s Titan form accidentally drooled on you? Maybe you should lay down.”
Levi doesn’t speak to Hanji for the rest of the day.
Mikasa visits him while Levi is in his room cleaning his desk, venting out his irritation over the fiasco at the meeting with each swipe of cloth. He doesn’t notice her until she loudly clears her throat. Once he becomes aware of her presence, Levi leans against the desk, waiting for her to speak.
“I think,” she says slowly, gently clutching the red scarf around her neck, “You should give Squad Leader Hanji something meaningful, that she will remember because you were the one to give it to her.”
“And this,” Levi replies, looking Mikasa straight in the eye, “comes from personal experience?”
Mikasa remains silent as a faint shade of pink adorns her cheeks at Levi's comment. She covers her mouth with her scarf, suddenly very interested in staring at a spot on the floor.
It doesn’t take Levi long to figure out what to give Hanji that the latter would consider meaningful. The next day, he leads her to the courtyard after breakfast, and presents his gift to her.
Hanji beams, eyes sparkling and hands clasped together. “The -they’re beautiful!”
In front of her were two Titans, one a 5 meter class and the other a 7 meter class, safely tied down. With their grotesque faces, lolling tongues and mouths dripping with drool, Levi thinks it’s best for his own sanity not to contemplate on Hanji’s definition of ‘beautiful.’
He watches as she excitedly paces around the Titans. “I only obtained these for you sinceI was sick of seeing your hideously depressed face after those monstrosities you named Sonny and Bean got killed.”
“Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!” Hanji exclaims, running towards Levi and pouncing on him. Her chest pushes right against his face as she heartily embraces him, depriving him of much needed oxygen. He extricates himself from her crushing hold with much difficulty, and glowers at her.
“So you want to thank me by killing me? ”
“Sorry about that,” Hanji replies, sheepishly scratching the back of her head. “I’m just so happy! Now I can continue my research where I left off with Sonny and Bean I mean since then I’ve come up with like hundred s of new ways to try and establish communication and I’m just so excited to try them all out and -”
While he observes Hanji enthusiastically rambling away, a strong feeling of satisfaction washes over Levi. Hanji’s never-ending science monologues usually annoy the shit out of him, but the fact that she is this elated because of something he did for her, makes Levi feel all kinds of pleased.
“Levi?”
Hanji’s voice slices through his thoughts.
“I need to ask you something,” she says, looking somewhat embarrassed. “I hope you’ll accept it.”
Levi braces himself. Hanji is going to confess to me, he thinks. He didn’t think his feelings would penetrate her dense skull, but maybe all his efforts thus far finally paid off. This is it, Levi tells himself, this is the mome-
“Can I name one of the Titans after you?”
“Don’t you fucking dare.”
When Levi goes to visit Hanji in her lab two days later, he is met with Armin sitting on her desk instead. Armin quickly stands up, tipping over his stool in the process. He’s a nervous wreck as he greets Levi, telling him that Hanji is out shopping for supplies with Moblit in tow, and that she’s left him in charge while she’s gone.
“I see.” Levi knows from personal experience Hanji takes her sweet time when it comes to shopping, and that she is unlikely to return before evening. Moblit is a braver man then most, Levi thinks.
He prepares to leave but Armin fidgets, as if he wants to say something more.
“If you want to say something, say it. I don’t have all day.”
“Yes sir!” Armin squeaks, clenching his fists. He pauses, biting his lip, eyes darting from side to side anxiously. “Y-You know that stack of books Squad Leader Hanji has in her room? That goes from the floor right up to the ceiling?”
Levi nods. It drives him crazy whenever he visits Hanji’s room, since she refuses to get a proper bookshelf with the excuse that it’s an ‘organized mess’. He wonders where Armin is going with this.
“Well, w-what if that tower of books was to fall over,” Armin says slowly, averting Levi’s gaze. “And Squad Leader Hanji was at risk of being crushed by them, but Corporal was there to save her, which could create a…moment.”
Armin exhales deeply, sweat beginning to form on his brow. Levi raises his eyebrows.
“I guess Erwin wasn’t wrong when he told me you had the potential to be a tactical genius.”
Armin blushes.
He visits Hanji in her room later that night, under the pretence that she never returned a mop she borrowed from him. It’s a silly lie, since the concept of cleaning is foreign to Hanji, but he makes her look for it anyway.
“I’m telling you I don’t have it,” Hanji says exasperatedly, searching in her closet. “You haven’t let me touch your cleaning supplies ever since I used one of your brooms to investigate the inside of Sonny’s nose.”
Levi shudders at the memory, but tells her to keep looking. The offending mountain of books is right beside her bed, so he directs her to search there. When Hanji bends down to look under her bed, Levi swiftly kicks her tower of books. Before they’re both knocked out by a mass of hardcovers, he grabs Hanji’s waist and pulls her out of the way. They both lose their footing in the process and topple straight to the floor, Levi falling on top of Hanji.
After a few moments, he lifts himself up on his arms, and stares at Hanji beneath him. Glasses askew, mouth open and hair a mess, Levi thinks she looks absolutely ridiculous. But he also appreciates the sensation of having her underneath him, and decides to wait a little before he gets up, to gouge her reaction.
Hanji is a little confused when Levi doesn’t immediately get off her, but her expression suddenly changes to one of horror when she remembers why they were in this position in the first place. “MY BOOKS!” she shrieks, pushing Levi hastily off her and in the process smacking him right in the eye with her hand. In her hurry to attend to her fallen literary collection, she forgets Levi is still on the ground and steps right on his crotch while she gets up.
She doesn’t notice Levi hasn’t gotten up until ten minutes later, when she looks over her shoulder to see him still on the ground, keeled over.
Hanji frowns, putting her hands on her hips. “Levi, what has gotten into you? If you have time to do that, you could at least help me sort my books out.”
That day, Levi learns that he is fighting an extremely one-sided battle and that Hanji Zoe was not an opponent to be taken lightly.
Petra hands Levi another icepack, which he places between his legs. It’s still sore, and a bruise is forming under his right eye.
Laughing nervously, Petra remarks it’s ironic that ten minutes alone with Hanji injured him more than the hundreds of times he faced hordes of Titans. Noting the expression of her superior darkens considerably, Petra quickly moves on.
“I-I’m sure things will work out!” she says encouragingly. “I have faith in you!”
Not wanting to mull over the day’s failures any longer, Levi changes the topic. “Where are Erd, Auruo and Gunther? I haven’t seen them all day.”
Petra suddenly looks intensely uncomfortable. “Um…”
Levi looks at her suspiciously. “Well?”
“I, um, please don’t get upse-”
“Petra. ”
“They’re taking bets,” she admits hastily, “over whether you’ll be able to succeed with Squad Leader Hanji or not.”
Levi blinks. “I see.” Removing the icepack, he slowly gets up and reaches for his swords. Petra winces, and tries to placate him.
“Corporal, I don’t think -”
“Petra,” Levi interrupts her calmly. “Run over to those three and tell them I’ll give them a thirty second head start.”
He barely finishes the end of his sentence before Petra dashes out the door.
It’s a warm, breezy day and most of the Scouting Legion sit outside, basking in the sun. Hanji is crawling on the ground, magnifying glass in her hand as she searches for insects that peak her curiosity. Occasionally she comes over to where Levi is sitting on the bench and shows him enthusiastically what new disgusting bug she manages to find. He watches as she walks back to find another revolting pest, and can’t help but think the way she unreservedly scuttles on the grass is kind of endearing, in a really fucking weird way.
Out of the corner of his eye, he notices Jean coming toward him, chest puffed out, looking determined. Before Jean can offer his own brand of advice, Levi points to his right. Jean follows the direction Levi is pointing at to see Mikasa sitting under a tree, with Eren’s head in her lap.
There’s an awkward, awkward silence before Jean turns abruptly on his heel and walks away, the little bit of his dignity still left intact.
When Levi goes to check on Eren in the basement that night, the latter is keen on offering his help on the matter of Hanji. Levi thinks he doesn’t particularly want guidance from a boy who goes around shitting Titan corpses, not to mention Eren is part of the problem to begin with.
“You know, Hanji is so busy fawning over you in your damn Titan form I can barely get time alone to talk to her,” Levi tells Eren irritably.
Eren shifts uncomfortably. “I-its not that bad.”
“During the last experiment Hanji spent an hour rolling around in your mouth,” Levi retorts, narrowing his eyes. “She would have quite happily jumped down your windpipe if Moblit hadn’t dragged her out.”
Eren wisely doesn’t say another word on the topic.
Hanji bursts into his room the next day, complaining she can’t run her daily experiment with Eren since he’s sick. Levi suspects Eren’s sudden bout of illness is a favour to him, since he seemed perfectly fine yesterday. Regardless, Levi gladly takes the opportunity to get Hanji out from her lab and have her company for himself.
“If you’re not running any experiments with Eren then I don’t have to oversee anything today,” Levi remarks casually. “We may as well go see what’s happening in town.”
“I suppose,” Hanji replies unenthusiastically, still noticeably sore over being deprived a day of experiments. “I’ll go ask Mike and Nanaba if they want to tag along.”
Before Levi can stop her, Hanji is already out the door.
It was supposed to be him and Hanji alone, taking a stroll through town. But somehow, Levi is walking next to Mike, watching irritably while Hanji has her arms linked with Nanaba as she enthusiastically drags them from store to store. Mike finds the whole situation rather amusing, but after seeing the dangerous expression on Levi’s face promises that he and Nanaba will leave first on the way back so Levi can have some alone time with Hanji.
They’re walking along when Levi bumps into Connie, who tells him that ‘maybe girls like it when you touch their chest or something.’ Levi is saved from an impending migraine, however, when a flash of blond hair emerges from behind Connie and tackles him to the ground.
“You’re one of the top ten graduates from the 104th trainee squad who joined the Military Police, aren’t you?” Levi enquires, staring at the heap on the floor that is Connie. “What are you doing here?”
“I was just passing by,” Annie replies coolly, tucking a loose stand of hair behind her ear. She turns to leave, but stops for a second. “Oh, and the Military Police wish you the best of luck.”
Levi doesn’t miss the mocking tone, and wonders irately how much further his lack of success with Hanji was going to go public. He can hear Mike chuckling beside him, and Levi elbows him right in the stomach. While Mike splutters in pain, Levi steps over Connie and makes his way over to Hanji, feeling somewhat satisfied.
Hanji is passed out when they return to the Scouting Legions HQ, and Levi carries her up to her room. Mike and Nanaba had left ahead of them as promised, but Hanji had fainted from exhaustion not long after. While Levi is annoyed the day didn’t go as planned, he is more annoyed that Hanji clearly hasn’t slept in days and overworked herself.
On his way to Hanji’s room, Levi passes Ymir and Christa. Seeing unconscious Hanji in his arms, Christa immediately offers to help put her to bed. Ymir is a little less keen, displeasure evident on her face and stays back until Christa forcefully drags her over.
After Hanji is in her room and tucked in bed, Christa attempts to cheer Levi up with encouraging words, much to his annoyance.
“Don’t worry, Corporal,” Christa tells him earnestly, one hand tentatively patting Levi’s shoulder. “If you keep trying I’m sure you feelings will reach Squad Leader Hanji eventually.”
Ymir scoffs. “Humanity’s strongest soldier unable to tell one woman he has a measly boner for her? How the mighty have fallen.”
“Ymir!” Christa chastises, looking appalled. “That was unnecessary!”
“Listen Corporal,” Ymir says, slinging an arm around Christa’s shoulders. “I got Christa through perseverance and dedication, so what you need to do is just go for it and draw yourself up to your full height,” she pauses, eyeing Levi up and down. “…although that might be difficult in your case.”
“YMIR!”
While the two girls bicker, Levi is reminded why he really, really hates brats.
Levi stares impassively as Hanji sobs hysterically while she uses a pitchfork to pierce the stomach of her new Titan test subject. After establishing communication failed, testing the Titan’s sensation of pain was next. The older members of the Scouting Legion were used to seeing Hanji this way and walk straight by, but Levi notes in slight amusement how the younger recruits look positively disturbed as they stop and gawp.
He notices Berthold and Reiner quietly sidle up next to him, although the former looks like he’d rather be somewhere else. When neither of them speaks after a few minutes, Levi clicks his tongue impatiently.
Reiner coughs. “A soldier should never give up, whether in battle or in love.” Berthold cringes, and Levi thinks rightly so. “Permission to offer some friendly words of advice?”
Levi watches as Hanji weeps while stabbing the 7 meter class Titan in the arm. “Go on.”
“I think employing an aggressive tactic could be beneficial,” Reiner says seriously, arms folded over his chest. “Corporal should consider being a bit more straightforward.”
Tearing his gaze away from the sight of Moblit dragging Hanji away from a particularly close encounter with one of the Titan’s open jaw, Levi considers Reiner. “You sound confident.”
Laughing wholeheartedly, Reiner claps Berthold on his back. “Well, it certainly worked with this one!”
Berthold looks as if he wants nothing more than for the ground to swallow him whole.
After dinner, they’re on their way to meet Erwin when Levi abruptly grabs Hanji’s wrist and leads her into the nearest room. It ends up being the food storage, which Levi thinks isn’t an ideal place but he was being spontaneous. He pushes Hanji against the wall, taking care not to be too rough, and places his hands beside her head. It would look a lot more impressive if he didn’t have to look up at her, Levi reflects. There is no way he can be more straightforward than this, and he carefully scrutinizes Hanji’s face. If she looks uncomfortable or distressed, Levi plans to back away immediately. He is relieved to see she is neither, but she doesn’t look pleased or eager either. In fact, Levi notes she isn’t looking at him at all, but somewhere over his shoulder. He turns his head to follow her gaze and sees a barrel of beans.
Beans?
The sound of a sniffle diverts his attention back to Hanji, and he is surprised to see tears welling up in her eyes.
“Hanji, what –”
“…beans.”
“I don’t unders-”
“…beans. Bean.”
Levi doesn’t like where this is going.
“I MISS BEAN!” she wails loudly, and Levi is sure she’s damaged his eardrums. “I just know I was making headway with him, we were getting so close that he only tried to eat me once a day and we were on the verge of having something special and I just-, oh I need to go!”
Hanji ducks underneath Levi’s arms and runs out the door, still bawling. Offended and aggravated that he was deserted in favour of a dead Titan, Levi sits on one of the food crates, pondering how one woman could cause him so many problems.
There is a shuffling noise to his right. Levi turns his head to see Sasha hesitantly crawl out from behind one of the food barrels, a bread loaf lodged in her mouth. Neither of them say anything as she slowly edges toward him, placing herself next to his knees. She breaks off the end of her bread and offers the torn piece to him. Levi accepts it, and they sit together in silence, eating.
A week later, Levi thinks it’s is time he took his own advice rather than anyone else’s. With this line of thought, he strides into Hanji’s room, prepared to make her sit quietly and hear him out.
“Hanji, I-”
“I know.”
Levi stares at Hanji, puzzled. She is sitting on her bed, cross-legged with papers scattered around her, gazing at him attentively.
“You know what?”
“About what you feel,” she pauses, turning a little red and frantically adjusts her glasses. “…for me.”
This isn’t what Levi expects to hear. “…how?”
Hanji inhales deeply. “Well, it all started when Eren came up to me and told me ‘Corporal’s trying his best!’ and then Jean pushed him out of the way and said ‘Don’t let Corporal Levi end up like me!’ and the next day Mike kept telling me I should take pity on you while Erwin told me to take more notice of the people around me and Reiner quite passionately expressed that ‘Unrequited love is the harshest battle a soldier can face.’ although Berthold just looked embarrassed by the whole thing and –”
Levi feels himself grow more irritated as Hanji continues. So everybody went behind his back, did they? He’d deal with them later. There were more important things at hand.
“-and that’s how I figured it out,” Hanji finishes, looking amused. “None of them were particularly subtle.”
“Well?” Levi asks impatiently.
“Well what?”
“What’s your answer?” he explains, ignoring the tightening feeling in his chest. “Do you…” he tries to find the right word. “…reciprocate?”
“I acknowledge your feelings,” Hanji says, giving him a thumbs up. Levi twitches. “And I reciprocate them.”
While her tone is playful, Levi knows she means it because her face is flushed, eyes are blinking rapidly and her voice is a few octaves higher than usual. He swiftly walks over, grabs her chin and kisses her. Hanji is tense at first, but eventually relaxes into the kiss. When Levi pulls away, he’s pleased to see she looks dazed.
“T-That will certainly take getting used to,” Hanji says, swallowing loudly and looking everywhere except at Levi.
“You better get used to it soon,” he replies. “Since I plan to make you pay for what you put me through the last few weeks.”
Hanji turns redder than Levi has ever seen her, and for once, she is utterly speechless.
“Now, I think it’s time I deal with our eavesdroppers,” Levi says, raising his voice. He slowly walks toward the door, where the unmistakable sounds of panicked footsteps are heard on the other side. A voice that suspiciously sounds like Mike yells “RUN!” and Levi bursts through the door, chasing down his fellow comrades while Hanji’s laughter echoes all the way down the hall.