Chapter Text
It took Steve three months to get to James after pursuing him all the way from New York to Arkansas and then California. James hadn’t expected it because he had been careful to hide his tracks, always making sure that Steve was at least three steps behind. Steve was good but not that good and James knew how Steve thought and operated the way he always knew what Steve wanted before Steve said it.
And right now, Steve wanted James to come with him and if James remembered the other man right, Steve would not compromise. Everything must be done in Steve’s term. That was just how Steve was.
Short of bashing a man-sized hole in a motel wall, James had very limited options. Steve was blocking the only entrance. While James could fight Steve, he had only fifty-fifty percent to make it and less if Steve was willing to hurt James, which meant the window was James’ only option. Steve also knew this. What was being decided on was whether James reached it first or Steve knocked him out first. Steve had his shield with him but James was closer to the window and his arm could reasonably block Steve’s throw.
“You don’t want to do this, Buck,” Steve reasoned with him, his eyes like blue steel, unrelenting. Yeah, like that would work on him! James wasn’t ready to get caught yet.
“Don’t!” Steve yelled as James dashed to the window. He wasn’t hesitate to jump out, the drop from the four-story building notwithstanding. However, just when he was about to reach the window, it exploded in a shower of glass and metal bits, the blast sending him several feet backward and knocking him on his back.
Then, something red and gold burst through the window with great speed and landed a few feet away from him. James recognized the newcomer as Iron Man, one of the Avengers.
Feigning a groan, James slowly picked himself off the floor as he used his time to reconsider his new situation and figure out a new escape strategy. With his handgun and utility knife on him, he could take either Steve or Iron Man out, just not both.
“Don’t you dare think about it,” the cold metallic voice warned James, the palm canon aiming threateningly as energy cracked and seared the air with heat. On the other side, Steve took a few steps forward and suddenly, James found himself crowded.
“Ah, damn,” James muttered to himself.
“Language!” said Iron Man.
“We’re not going to hurt you. You don’t have to run anymore,” Steve said, voice placating.
“I think I want to see him trying,” Iron Man added only to be rebuked by Steve. “Be nice to Bucky, Tony. We’ve talked about this.”
“What do you want me for?” asked James, curling his hands into fists and pasting his back to the wall. While he didn’t remember all the things he’d done while being under controlled (albeit mostly due to his effort to block them out), he knew enough to know he’d murdered more than a few people. He didn’t want to spend his time in jail though. Not really and not because he got a long laundry list of things to do.
“I just want you to come with us for a few days. We need to talk and catch up on what we both miss.”
James took in a deep breath and resisted the urge to run when Steve moved even closer. The proximity brought a grimace to his face. His right arm was starting to ache from a phantom pain as a reminder that Steve had broken it in the first place. At any moment now, he would be handcuffed and dragged away, he thought and startled when Steve clasped his shoulder instead.
“I’m glad to see you, Buck.”
Later, after paying for the motel damage and packing up his few belongings, the three of them were flying in the so-called Quinjet with Iron Man as their pilot. James sat behind Iron Man with no seatbelt and Steve was right next to him, leaving the copilot seat empty. At first, he was worried about the destination until he saw it on the navigation screen. Then, he started questioning whether things could have happened differently if he’d chosen to fight them instead.
Steve’d said that he wanted to talk but the only one who had been talking since they got onto the plane was Iron Man. Right now, Iron Man was telling Steve that they were about thirty five thousand feet in the air and if James intended to jump, he should ask to be jettisoned instead. Once again, Steve chided Iron Man before the latter launched into a monologue on the technological aspects of his ten billion dollar plane. James almost wanted to strangle him to make him shut up.
“How are you?” Steve asked at last. He had been watching James out the corner of his eyes even when he wasn’t looking directly at James.
“I’m fine. Never been better,” he answered and somehow it added a few frown lines on Steve’s forehead.
Steve didn’t comment on the blatant lie. Instead, he turned and procured a water bottle from a travel bag on a seat behind. ”Water?”
“Thanks,” James said and took the bottle from Steve, momentarily surprised when he caught a glint of gold on Steve’s finger. James paused, took a second look. Sure enough, it was a bonding ring with three small blue stones engraved in the middle in a slanted line.
James looked quizzically at Steve.
“Yeah.” Steve gave a small smile and offered no explanation. James let that sunk in as he took a drink to wash the sudden bitterness in his throat. Steve had changed. This was not the same Steve from the fragments of the past that he remembered. This new Steve had found someone to spend his life with and a place to call home. He was happy for Steve and yet, he couldn’t help feeling as though he’d lost something.
“Last time, it was you who saved me from the river. I never had a chance to thank you.”
“It’s nothing, considering that I was the one who put you there in the first place.”
James faked a smile as he evaluated Steve who was looking at him in expectation. Expectation of what, James wondered. To see how much he remembered, how much of the old him that was left? James had changed too. The old Bucky was gone. Now it was just whatever left of him and the Winter Soldier.
“I have a vague memory of that but not much more.” That wasn’t entirely without truth. Most of his memories were muddy as if covered by a veil and what he remembered, he wished he didn’t. “Trying to remember tends to give me a headache.” James tapped one side of his head.
“Don’t try so hard unless you have to. It wasn’t anything important. I’m just glad to see you again. When we get to the Avengers Tower, you can get some food and rest.” Steve looked concerned and pursued no more, allowing James to excuse himself for a quick nap.
Best friends since childhood and yet James could not find anything to talk about. James’ most vivid memory of them was of Steve’s anguished face as he fell and subsequently plunged into freezing water below only because it featured quite prominently in many of James’ nightmares.
An hour into the flight, James was finding himself drifting off to the low humming of the engines. He was awakened to the rapid descent in altitude and the release of landing gear as the ship touched down onto the skyscraper’s platform.
Iron Man cut off the engine, opened the hatch and exited. James waited for Steve to follow his comrade and after realizing Steve preferred to escort him, reluctantly grabbed his bag and stepped out just in time to see the robotic arms on the walkway stripping off the Iron Man armor from the man inside.
Tony Stark, James internally recalled the name. James had seen a picture of him in the debriefing documents he was given by his last handler. Stark was considered a high priority threat to watch out for when he ambushed Steve. They hadn’t fought before and yet there was something familiar about the other man that James couldn’t quite put his fingers on.
“I’m going to make us something to eat. Tony will show you around,” Steve said as he took his leather jacket off once they were in the living room, obviously comfortable and relax in the familiar environment.
“No problem,” said Tony and turned to him. “Follow me, grumpypatch.”
James waited a few seconds before deciding to do so. Together, they walked through the double door with James just a step behind.
Soon, James found himself looking at an elevator, a stairway and three different paths.
“These two will take you to the party deck and that one,” Tony pointed straight ahead. “It’s another way to the kitchen and dining room. The training facilities, research labs, conference areas, library and sleeping quarters are on different floors. Jarvis will show you a map if you need one.”
“Jarvis?”
“At your service, Mr. Barnes.” A disembodied voice came out somewhere from the walls, unlike the one he’d encountered during his raid at Nick Fury’s house. From his own experience, the A.I. possessed no offensive and limited defensive capabilities to be much of a threat.
Stark pushed the elevator button, looked over his shoulder at him and asked, “You have a preference where you want to see first?”
Stark had turned just to the right angle and James had accidentally stood close enough that Stark’s eyes seemed to dominate his face. He would remember those eyes anywhere. Stark had the same eyes as his mother. It was one of the few missions with red marks in his records because he’d left the target’s kid alive. It wasn’t his original intention, of course. Howard Stark had left his son home instead of taking him on the fatal trip. He’d planned to return to the Stark residence and drown him but before he could carry out the execution, his handler had recalled him due to SHIELD intervene.
Now, it was clear to him why Stark had worked with Steve. Everything had been a trap. Here he was standing inside a building with bulletproof glass and no easy way to exit and the son of the couple he’d murdered was looking at him. James wanted to believe that Steve was on his side and would not trick him but reality was telling him otherwise. After all, Steve had been willing to hurt him in the Hellicarier.
James was, currently, not unarmed and that brought some kind of comfort.
The elevator dinged. In a flash, James gave Stark a kick, sending him crashing through the opening elevator doors. James had expected a mob of soldiers with guns rushing out but there was none. Nevertheless, James pulled out his handgun from his belt and charged in.
The moment of hesitation had given Stark enough time to pull to a standing position and he was currently conjuring up some kind of weaponized glove from his watch. James slapped Stark’s hand away before it could power up and pointed the gun at his head in a move meant to shut Stark down and not to shoot. After all, he didn’t want the gun shot sounds to alert Steve because then he might not be able to escape.
Stark, on the other hand, was not holding back. However, his attempt to wrestle the gun from James’ hand was feeble, his movements untrained and uncoordinated. Just when James was about to deliver a blow to Stark’s head, someone suddenly slammed into him and knocked him to one side with great force.
It was Steve.
“What the hell are you doing?” Steve yelled in anger. The elevator was suddenly too small for three people. At least, Steve didn’t look like he might start beating him up.
“He’s a complete psycho, Steve. I don’t even know why I agreed to this.” Stark groaned and picked himself up off the floor.
James looked at Steve, not willing to explain but needing Steve to understand.
“Tony is not a threat to you, Bucky. He’s my bond mate.”
Surprised, James glanced down at Stark’s hand to find a matching bonding ring. Same slanted design with three gems, the only difference being the gems’ color—red instead of blue.
James took a slow deep breath. Yeah, Stark’s scent was faint but it was definitely an omega scent. As a beta, James usually didn’t pay much attention to other people’s gender unless he wanted to fuck them.
Steve had bonded with Stark and yet, it still didn’t change the fact that James had killed Stark’s parents. It was the Winter Soldier
As much as he wished to believe that the Winter Soldier did it, it was his own hands that carried out the execution.
“I’m going to show Bucky his room. See you in the kitchen in a minute,” Steve said to Stark who lingered and didn’t leave the scene right away. “It’ll be ok. He’s my friend.”
After Stark left, Steve escorted him to one of the bedrooms three floors down and told him to show up for dinner in thirty minutes before leaving.
James used that time to disconnect Jarvis by ripping some wires out of the ceiling, scanning the room for bugs and checking the window. He showed up at the kitchen on the dot to Steve’s approval and took a seat opposite Stark. Plates, utensils and glasses had been laid out. Steve served him a hefty portion of the mushroom cheese tortellini, poured some water in his glass and sat down next to Stark.
They spent the entire meal in relative silence. Several times, Steve started as if he wanted to say something important but ended up doing pointless small talk about movies, food and music.
James made sure to eat his fill and then some. It was hard to know the next time he could have a decent meal again. Stark, on the other hand, drank heavily and pretended to eat while glaring at James across the table. Once, Stark made some snide comment on James’ memories or the lack thereof only to be shut down by Steve. He then quickly excused himself and left.
“Sorry about that,” Steve said. “Tony can be really nice when you get to know him.”
“I wouldn’t be able to guess it,” James answered, unfazed. He’d spent seventy-odd years in and out of the pod, assassinating people when he was up and about. It was what it was. The Winter Soldier was as much part of him as James Barnes was and he didn’t need people to like him. He only needed to survive.
With that thought, James reached over to grab the wine bottle Stark left behind and took a swig. It was quite strong with complex flavors and a rich aftertaste. Great wine choice. Still not better than the cheap beers at the rundown pub he used to frequent with Steve and the Howling Commandos.
It was surprising how his mood improved after filling his stomach and topping it off with alcohol.
“I always imagined that you would find a nice girl to settle down with,” commented James after having more of Stark’s expensive wine.
Steve cleared the plates and replied without pausing, “That was what I thought until I met him. Sometimes life throws a curve at you.”
“He’s Howard’s kid.”
“Then I’m glad to say that I’ve got to know one of my in-laws pretty well.”
James laughed. It didn’t last long because he immediately recalled how Howard and his wife died. Steve seemed genuine happy to be with Stark but if the latter wanted to avenge for his parents, James might have to kill him. It was best to avoid that scenario.
“You’re going to leave tonight, aren’t you? Jarvis asked me to tell you that you should use the elevator instead of the window.”
James stifled a curse. He must have missed something. That little spy from Stark was still hanging around and watching him.
“I’m on a run.”
“From whom? You don’t have to run anymore. Stay with us and we can protect you. You offered me a place when my ma passed away and now it’s my turn to offer you the same thing.”
James ran a hand through his hair and brushed it back, a gesture out of frustration. Dealing with Steve could be hard because Steve somehow always had his way even when he didn’t commandeer such strong physical presence.
“I don’t belong here.” The problem was more than the awkwardness of being a third wheel in their relationship here. Steve wouldn’t be able to understand.
“What if I tell you that you can?”
James raised an eyebrow at the conviction in Steve’s tone. “It doesn’t work that way.”
“Yes, it does if you want it to be,” said Steve, took an object from his pocket and put it in front of James.
It was a beta ring with two gems, one blue and one red mirroring the gem colors on Steve and Stark’s bonding rings. James picked it up to admire the craftsmanship put into the deceptively delicate jewelry, a corner of his mouth inadvertently turning up in a mocking smile.
James never could have thought that Steve would pull this. A triad of an alpha, beta and omega wasn’t common because most people are monogamous and alphas were usually too protective of their omegas to share. If James accepted this, he would pledge himself to protect and take care of Steve’s omega in return for being part of Steve’s life again.
“You don’t know what you’re asking me. I can’t do this.” James dropped the ring, watching it bounce lightly on the wooden dining table and make clinking sounds.
“Why not? You don’t find Tony attractive? Not ready to commit to a relationship? Holding out for someone else?”
“I love you as a brother and I would be more than happy to stand by your side as your beta but it’s /him/. I can’t.” James could feel Steve’s eyes boring into him and yet, he refused to look up.
Steve sighed. “I know about Howard. Found out in Hydra’s secret files last year.”
“Then why did you want me to be your beta?”
“That’s precisely why I want you to be our beta.”
“Is this some kind of joke?” James let a corner of his mouth turn up. “You believe somehow this will work out and instead of killing each other, Stark and I are going to fuck each other? Did Stark agree to this?”
“Yes, he did. He made this ring himself for you.”
“That’s very nice of him,” James said sarcastically.
“You’re safe, Bucky. Tony thought it was a car accident. In the unlikely event that he finds out the truth in the future, it doesn’t matter because it wasn’t you.”
James tried not to let emotions shown on his face. Steve was always the type who trusted and believed in people, sometimes those who did not deserve it. He couldn’t disappoint Steve or let Steve down but to act as though he was the same man he once was meant lying to himself and denying a major part of himself—the Soldier. That kind of pretense could be exhausting.
Glancing down to avoid the eye contact with Steve, James found himself looking at the ring once more. All that good food and wine in his stomach must have influenced his mind because he was contemplating Steve’s proposition. It wasn’t ideal but he had few options at this point. Comparing to being constantly on the run and crashing at whatever shit hole that he found, this place was much nicer. Plus, he liked being around Steve. The other man always seemed to radiate some kind of goodness and inspire him to become a better person. Steve had never let him down and he trusted Steve with his own life.
“Please,” Steve said, his voice lacing just a hint of desperation.
“Alright. Yes. I’ll do it.” James slipped the ring in his pants’ pocket as Steve walked around the table to give him a hug.
“Glad to have you back.”
“Likewise.” James gripped the back of Steve’s T-shirt, uncomfortable with the physical affection and simultaneously relieved at the approval from Steve.