New Job Posting

by TenSpencerRiedPlease

Summary:

Bucky has always taken up really weird jobs. Once he was a mascot and got beaten up by twelve year olds regularly, he also worked at a camp for a while doing maintenance and not once but twice some kid shit in the shower. He once wrote Hallmark card sayings for a while, which led to writing fortunes for fortune cookies. Bucky eventually left that job to be a professional pet cuddler, which led to him somehow finding his way into professional human cuddling, which he left quickly because he was paid to be the big spoon, not someone’s therapist. His time as a bed warmer was the most fun though.

So Bucky was more than used to a little bit of strangeness to his jobs- that hardly meant he was prepared for his job working for Tony Stark.

Notes:

This is just something I've had floating around in my brain for awhile. I'm not sure how long it'll be, hopefully not that long but knowing me and how long winded I am it'll be 90K later and I'll be all oops that wasn't meant to happen.

Chapter 1

Bucky has always taken up really weird jobs- like really weird. Once he was a mascot and got beaten up by twelve year olds regularly, he also worked at a camp for a while doing maintenance and not once but twice some kid shit in the shower. He once wrote Hallmark card sayings for a while, which led to writing out fortunes for fortune cookies. Steve had been particularly impressed with some of the ridiculous things he’s written and honestly Bucky was impressed too. He just wrote down the cheesiest things to come to mind and his boss loved them. He had been really upset when Bucky eventually left that job to be a professional pet cuddler, which led to him somehow finding his way into professional human cuddling, which he left quickly because he was paid to be the big spoon, not someone’s therapist. His time as a bed warmer was the most fun though, and warming up super comfy beds was the best job ever.

So Bucky was more than used to a little bit of strangeness to his jobs because the most normal job he’s ever had was an ice cream flavor tester. That hardly meant he was prepared for his job working for Tony Stark, not that he knew whom he was working for at the time. He came across the job at an art gallery that he only went to because Steve’s art was there and he was being supportive. The last thing he expected was to be cornered by a hot red head that looked about ready to eat him. “You looking for a job?” she asks, a slight Russian accent to her voice.

Fuck no Bucky was not looking for a job if it meant working for her. “Uh, nope,” he lies. He did actually need a job and fast but he wasn’t about to get involved with the sketchy red head.

“I’m sure you will be after you hear my offer,” she says confidently. Bucky hoped that didn’t mean that he was about to get murdered. “The job pays well- twenty five thousand a month-” she starts and Bucky cuts her off.

“Sold,” he says, not caring if he just sold himself to the Russian mafia or not.

The red head smiles, “I thought so. The rest of the job includes you spending money outside of that allowance,” she says.

Bucky frowns, “wait… I’m getting money to… spend money?” he asks to make sure he understood this right.

“That’s right. When can you start?” she asks. Fuck, three weeks ago would have been nice but he tells her he’s available immediately.

*

The first thing Bucky does is buy a whole new everything. He got told to spend big, which was convenient considering he needed new pretty much everything. In the first week he got a new bed, new furniture for the living room of his ratty apartment, a new TV, and a bunch of new clothes to replace everything with holes in it. Which was basically everything. His friends were suspicious of his new spending habits so he eventually breaks and tells them he got a new job.

“A new job doing what exactly, you’ve spent like three thousand dollars in the last week,” Steve says, looking around at his living room furniture anxiously.

“He makes a point,” Wanda adds, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Uh… it’s kind of difficult to explain. I… get paid to spend money essentially,” he says.

“That was not hard to explain,” Wanda points out.

“That’s too good to be true,” Steve says, hands on his hips.

“I’d think so too if thirty thousand dollars didn’t show up in my account eight days ago,” he says. Plus the card he’s been using to spend his employer’s money.

“So you get thirty grand to go spend?” Wanda asks.

“No, I get the thirty grand and then I go spend money. Money that is not the initial payment, which was five grand more than it was supposed to be. Apparently I got an early bonus.” Or that’s what the email said anyways. After that it was the regular twenty five thousand a month and Bucky shitting his pants at such high bank account numbers. He’s never seen anything higher than a few thousand if he was lucky and now he was basically rich. Actually next month he’d be rich, now he was mostly in denial that that much money could even exist.

Steve and Wanda’s eyebrows shoot up, “who the hell do you work for?” Wanda asks.

Bucky shrugs, “some rich guy, that’s all I know. He didn’t want to give out his name for some reason.”

“He’s probably in the mob or something,” Steve says.

“Do you always have to rain on my parade? Just let me be rich and happy okay, I recently discovered I have back problems after spending a night in my extremely comfortable new bed and woke up feeling less like my spine is made of iron. I didn’t even know I had that feeling until now.” But it now that he felt less like his spine was solid he was happy about it and he wasn’t giving up his job even if he did work for the mob.

*

Tony tracks Bucky’s spending meticulously and snorts at his spending habits by the end of the month. “What?” Pepper asks, frowning.

“Natasha picked an interesting one this time, this guy’s spending habits are ridiculously practical,” he tells her.

Pepper frowns, “really?”

“I know, the last person to have this job bought a sports car but this guy? We’ve got clothes, a bed, furniture, a gluten free vegan diet, a TV, some other practical ends and odds. The most impulsive thing on this list is the TV.” Tony wondered if the vegan diet was connected to ethics or a simple preference, because if it was ethics this guy was not going to like finding out who employed him. Not that they lasted very long usually, the job had a pretty high turnover rate because people were only good at spending money in theory. People that didn’t have money typically reached a point where they realized there was nothing else that they wanted and even vacations lose their novelty. That or they developed a drug habit.

After that point was reached small spending habits were consistent but not what Tony was looking for, so everyone went their separate ways and his employee got a hefty severance package for their troubles. Tony didn’t mind that people moved on, sometimes things didn’t work out, but it always left a bitter taste in his mouth knowing that he somehow managed to fail in paying someone’s way through life as a fucking billionaire. That didn’t seem like the kind of thing a guy with his tax bracket could fail at.

“Is that… okay?” Pepper asks somewhat hesitantly. She’d never outright tell him but she didn’t understand why he even had someone doing this job and he wasn’t intent on telling her either so they left it.

“No, but he’s new. There’s always an adjustment period,” Tony says. Usually the adjustment period when the opposite way it was going right now given that people started with big purchases and moved down towards the smaller more practical things, but apparently this guy was different.

Tony opens up the email he set up to communicate with Bucky and starts writing.

*

Bucky frowns at the email, unsure what it even meant.

To: Bucky

From: AES

What tax bracket do you usually fall into?

-AS

Uh, the poor one but Bucky didn’t know if that was the right answer. After some quiet deliberation he decides that he’s reading too much into it and tells his mystery employer that he was usually pretty damn poor.

To: Bucky

From: AES

Yeah, I can tell. Up your game.

-AS

Bucky frowns at the reply for a long few moments before shrugging. So this guy wanted to up his game, fine, there were expensive things that he could buy. There were lots of expensive things that he could buy. He could totally up his game.

*

Tony and Natasha sit perched in a room waiting to hear back on some negotiation thing that Tony was mostly letting Natasha handle. Pepper did these sorts of things all the time and if Tony wasn’t around for some reason it made sense to teach Natasha to do Pepper’s job in case that happened. After Obadiah he made her his business partner much to the annoyance of everyone else that thought she was ‘just an assistant’. They had no idea how much Tony expected of his assistants and given how much of a shitty boss he was ne knew damn well that Pepper was already prepared to deal with someone as demanding as him and as flighty too.

“Am I doing well a this? This sort of… thing isn’t exactly my area of expertise,” Natasha says. She doesn’t look nervous or conflicted, which is good, and Tony has seen her give presentations. Whether or not she was in a situation she was confortable with was irrelevant because she knew how to look like she was confortable. That was a difficult to acquire skill and not many people could pick up on it.

“You’re doing fine, Natasha. Trust me if you weren’t Pepper has less patience for incompetence than me. You’d be fired if you weren’t good at this,” he tells her.

She smiles at him, “you don’t have patience for incompetence?” she asks, raising an eyebrow.

“None,” he says honestly, “why do you think I hate Hammer so much. He goes on and on about how much of an expert he is but when it comes down to it he’s fucking useless.” Half of his shit didn’t even work according to Rhodey, who would know considering his former job. And due to Hammer’s inability to build shit Rhodey was now permanently disabled. He took it better than Tony would have but that’s just Rhodey. He was calm and level headed in all things whereas Tony was far more impulsive. It was probably why they made such good friends, Tony pulled Rhodey out of his comfort zone given that someone had to make sure he wouldn’t die, and Rhodey made sure Tony stayed grounded at least a little.

“I thought you hated him because of Rhodey,” Natasha says.

Tony shakes his head, “nah. I’ve hated him since we went to school together as kids. Well, I was a kid; he was your average teen. Rhodey just cemented my pre-existing opinion that he’s a fucking jackhole.” Natasha snorts and then giggles, an odd action coming from someone as non-nonsense such as herself.

“That’s true I suppose. I’ve never been fond of him myself, too arrogant. You might be an arrogant ass but at least you’re arrogant about things you’ve earned the right to be arrogant about. Hammer? Not so much.” That was true, and Natasha hadn’t much liked him when she was first hired and made no attempt to hide it either. Pepper had considered firing her for it but Tony pointed out that there was no harm in hating your boss, or in this case your boss’ boss. That and he rarely found people who stood up to him; always too afraid he’d retaliate in some way or something so she was a breath of fresh air. And despite her dislike she worked with him just fine, which was what Pepper had been worried about. Eventually she warmed up to him and they were decent friends now, which was a bonus when they worked so closely with each other.

“Hammer should consider a career in being a professional failure. He’d actually be good at that,” Tony mumbles as his phone goes off. The text alert was designed to tell him when Bucky had used his card. Tony raises an eyebrow at the number he finds on the screen and decides to investigate further, snorting at what he finds.

“What?” Natasha asks, head tilted to the side.

“Bucky. I told him to try harder so he did- he paid off some dude’s hospital debt. Is there a tax bracket in which someone is so poor they stop being selfish? Because I have never met anyone who suddenly got access to a huge amount of money that didn’t immediately spend it on themselves,” he says. Every person, every person, who has taken this job always spent huge amounts of money on themselves at first, it wasn’t until later that they thought of other people. his phone buzzes again and Tony’s eyebrows lift , “and he donated money to disabled vets. Who is this guy?”

“Did I… pick badly?” Natasha asks, frowning.

“I did the picking, you did the talking. So no. But this guy is interesting that’s for sure. And addicted to Starbucks, who even buys that many frappuccinos in a day?” he asks more to himself than Natasha. And they were those sugary frou-frou things that were lies, not caffeine. Absolutely disgusting.

“Is that a bad thing?” Natasha asks, clearly trying to feel out what was going on here.

“No, not necessarily anyways. This isn’t what I expected but that isn’t a bad thing at the moment.” He did hope that Bucky spent money on himself at some point but his spending habits were more than interesting enough to keep around.

*

To: Bucky

From: AES

You do know that when I told you to try harder I meant spend more money on yourself right? I hope that Steve Rogers guy is happy because he either has one good friend or he ran into the right stranger at the perfect time.

-AS

Bucky frowns at the email, not totally sure what to make of it. What was he supposed to do? Buy a sports car that he’d never be able to afford if he didn’t have this job? What idiot would do that? Sure he’d be rich now, but if he got used to a certain kind of lifestyle that would all be pissed down the drain as soon as he either lost the job or moved on from it. He wasn’t going to develop a lifestyle that he’d never be able to keep up, that was irresponsible at best. So he figured he’d pay off Steve’s hospital bills.

He hadn’t been impressed about it either, even going as far as to try and make Bucky take it back, which was ridiculous. Sam, who usually hated Bucky on a good day had actually hugged him and thanked him when Steve had stomped out of his apartment to have an asthma attack in the hallway. Generally they hated each other for no real reason, but Bucky knew what Steve was struggling with the bills and given his health issues getting a full time job or five was out of the question. And Sam, despite Bucky’s not liking him much, was a genuinely good guy who did his best to help but he had his own shit to take care of. Bucky wasn’t looking forward to Steve finding out that Bucky paid off all his student loans, Sam’s student loans, and his own student loans too. He’d probably acquire another hefty hospital bill honestly.

To: AES

From: Bucky

I paid off my student loans. It counts as money spent on me.

And he could afford Starbucks now too. He basically drank his weight in Starbucks for the last two days, which was awesome. He could afford groceries now too, and accommodate for Steve’s expensive diet. Sam had been fine with pretending that he got a raise at work so Steve would think he bought all the gluten free vegan stuff. He might not like Sam buying the food either, but he could at least justify it with Sam eating the food too. He’d freak out if he found out it was Bucky. But try as he might if Steve ate anything that wasn’t gluten free or vegan his system freaked out, especially with gluten. It was just sad to see him live in the bathroom for a week because he ate the wrong thing and couldn’t function until his body purged whatever it was from his system. The benefit was that Steve could make really good gluten free vegan mint chocolate brownies.

To: Bucky

From: AES

Hardly. Seriously, try harder. I’ve never met someone who needed prodding to spend absurd amounts of money. Go live a little.

-AS

Bucky snorts at the email his phone alerts him to, shaking his head. His employer sounded snarky at least, like he had a sense of humor despite employing terrifying redheads.

To: AES

From: Bucky

Since you’ve clearly got ideas care to share?

He was curious about his employer and what, exactly, he was supposed to be doing here. He was told to try harder after dropping a huge amount money on various bills. What the hell else did this guy want? Of course when he gets a list of stuff his eyebrows shoot up and he wonders how rich this guy is when the first restaurant he suggested had entrées that went for ten fucking grand. He really hoped he wasn’t working for Hank Pym because that guy is a dick. But then what the hell would AES stand for? Bucky wasn’t sure if that was a company acronym, a name, or some random letters this guy typed in or something.

To: AES

From: Bucky

I’m not spending ten grand on a nicely placed spinach leaf. A vacation sounds fun though. I have family in Romania.

Not that he wanted to visit Aunt Ethel but Wanda’s brother Pietro was doing his PhD there and it would be kind of nice to surprise her with a trip to visit him. She missed her twin more than she let on and Bucky missed him too. Hell, maybe he’d even take Clint along for the fuck of it seems how he could afford it now. He missed his boyfriend too and Bucky was sure he could plan something with Wanda to give the two some space. Maybe if he was feeling brave he’d visit Ethel and use Wanda as a shield.

Chapter 2

“What the fuck Barnes, how did you even find that job?” Clint asks, shaking his head. “I gotta tell Pietro about this because this is some next level weird job shit. When Steve was going on an on about your weird job I thought you finally managed to end up a professional furry or something.”

Bucky gives Clint a weird look, unsure where he got the idea that there were professional furries. Hell, if that was a thing he’d probably run into it at some point. He discovered that clown kink was a thing and now nothing in his life was stable. “I found the job at that art thing Steve did a couple weeks ago. And the guy seems nice, he’s snarky and makes funny pop culture references,” Bucky says. He had to wonder why he hired Bucky to do the job that he was doing but he wasn’t about to question it given the nice pay cheques and the fact that he didn’t have to pay for anything anymore. His boss had inquired about the vegan buying meat lovers pizza though, which had led to a weird explanation of Steve and his health issues. Bucky wasn’t about to give up bacon if he didn’t have to.

Thankfully his boss didn’t seem to mind, though he did question why Bucky was so selfless. Humans were selfish dicks, he had said, so why was Bucky so nice? He didn’t have much of an explanation for that honestly. Personally he just thought it was easier to spend large sums of money on other people rather than himself. And sneaking around Steve to plan with Sam was kind of fun and it almost made Wilson tolerable.

“You found a job that pays you to spend money at an art thing?” Clint asks, incredulous.

Bucky shrugs, “yeah.” He didn’t know what other information Clint wanted, though his squinting suggested he did indeed want more info.

“Did Steve at least sell something?” Clint asks when it becomes clear that Bucky wasn’t going to elaborate.

“I think so,” he says. He wasn’t sure actually, which was just showed how great of a friend he is…

“Well I guess I’d forget if my friend sold his art stuff at a show if I made thirty grand too,” Clint says. “Is your boss willing to take another employee because I’m poor as fuck and I could use an absurd amount of money. You aren’t spending it right anyways, where the hell is your sports car?” Clint asks, throwing a hand up in outrage.

“Uh, unlike you I’m smart enough to plan for the event of me not being involved in this job anymore so no sports cars for me. I figured I’d save for retirement or something,” he says. That seemed like a good investment to him.

Clint squints at him, “what the fuck is wrong with you?”

*

Tony sits at his desk dealing with numbers and remembering why he used to do so many drugs. God, he hated numbers. At least these kinds of numbers, they were boring and did nothing for him mentally. His inventions were new and interesting and fun, but this shit was just horrible. So when his phone alerts him to an email from Bucky he’s grateful for it.

To: AES

From: Bucky

This is completely unrelated to the job but it’s so weird that I had to share it with someone. So I ordered pizza and this creepy ass guy shows up to my apartment with my food and tells me that someone died in my apartment. Some skilled Googling confirmed that someone did in fact die in here ten years ago and I guess the creepy pizza guy knew the dead dude. But I feel like telling people that someone died in their apartment should be a basic ‘do not do’ in the customer service world. That seems fair right; don’t tell the customers that someone died in their apartment? I did not give him a tip!

He stares at the email for a long moment, not sure how to react before he bursts out laughing. Oh man this one was interesting. Guess he and Natasha picked well this time. Well, mostly him a little bit of Natasha. She could have twelve percent of the credit for digging this one up.

To: Bucky

From: AES

Dude that was good, I haven’t laughed that hard in awhile and you couldn’t have timed it better. I was doing paperwork and that always makes me want to fling myself off the roof. Sorry about the creepy pizza guy though. Love that your revenge was not tipping him. Got any more fun stories for me?

PS- you’re supposed to tip the pizza people?

-AS

Natasha raises an eyebrow at him as she walks in, “you aren’t doing paperwork, are you? No one looks that happy doing paperwork.”

Tony sticks his tongue out at her like an absolutely mature adult, “Bucky sent me an email. Its only reasonable that I checked it, he could be like… stuck in a tree or something.” From the sounds of it it wasn’t entirely out of the question. Bucky seemed to live one very interesting life.

“Stuck in a tree, really Stark?” Natasha asks, “at least come up with something better than that. Aren’t you a genius or something?”

“I resent that. Now come read this email because it’s hilarious,” he tells her, handing his phone over to her. She takes it with an eye roll and reads the screen, bursting into laugher when she gets through it.

“Nice going Stark, you really know how to pick ‘em,” she says, handing his phone back.

“Excuse you, you helped,” he says indignantly.

“You did the picking, I did the talking. Isn’t that what you said the other day?” she asks, head tilted to the side.

“But-” he starts but Natasha cuts him off.

“No buts, eat your own words and get that poor guy a new apartment. Preferably one that no one has died in. and get your damn paperwork done before Pepper chews my ass and I have to come back here and chew your ass,” she tells him, waving a hand at his paperwork. He frowns at it as she goes, wondering when the hell he started working for his assistant’s assistant. Well, technically his business partner’s assistant but it was the principal of the thing.

To: AES

From: Bucky

One time I went to a protest and got arrested trying to drag my tiny asthmatic best friend out of the damn melee before he got killed or something. Except the cop looked real fuckin confused when he couldn’t find my left arm. He actually accused me of hiding the damn thing like I could spontaneously hide an entire limb right as I was getting tackled to the ground. He let me go after that but I think that’s only because he didn’t know how to arrest someone with only one wrist to cuff. It was hilarious after the fact but boy was I annoyed when it happened.

Also one time a twelve year old told me I looked like a living meme, which was obviously the greatest day of my life. Oh, and I met the Wakandan prince once. It nearly ended in my death.

PS- fuck yeah you tip the pizza people; you’re a god damn billionaire, tip everyone you can you damn dirty animal!

Tony doubles over his desk laughing because Bucky had one hell of a sense of humor and he wasn’t afraid to somewhat insult Tony. Most of his employees so-to-speak were terrified to treat him like a normal human. This guy? Apparently not.

*

Due to his working very weird jobs Bucky sort of got good at feeling people out. So after his employer- the AES person or whatever- reacted well to his random stories of shit that’s happened to him he starts sending regular updates of what was going on in his life. Clint told him once that he was the kind of person that you could leave alone for five minutes and when you came back he’d have an entire adventure to tell you. Sending off periodic updates of his life to some dude who was probably ninety years old and hurting for human contact he was starting to see why Clint would say that.

To: Bucky

From: AES

You seriously hopped on a fucking chunk of ice and rode down a river only to get rescued by the fire department?”

-AS

Bucky snickers at that memory. He had been sixteen and he hated riding the bus, and the river went right by his school at the time. It made sense in the way that only sounded good to a particularly stupid teenage boy but in his defense Steve agreed to it so he wasn’t alone. He tells AES that yeah, that was a real thing and if he looked up the newspaper that day there was a picture of him waving to the fire department while Steve glared on in the background. He quickly gets a response of the photo with an admission of disbelief, which was normal when he was telling his stories. Most people thought he was a pathological liar until they hung out with him long enough to know that no, he wasn’t lying; his life was just one bizarre event after another.

To: AES

From: Bucky

Once a few buddies and I got real drunk on a camping trip in Utah and we made friends with this raccoon that was looking for food. I mean it was hungry and we had buns, we just wanted to feed the little guy. Well he stuck around long enough to know that we were way too drunk to move, got his family and fucking robbed us for all we were worth. Every time I see a raccoon now I flip them off.

That had been when Clint, Pietro, and Wanda found out that he didn’t lie about things constantly. They were pretty upset that no one ever believed that story and Bucky told them to think about how it would feel if their entire life was that story. Bucky didn’t have a single believable tale considering going to McDonalds usually ended up an adventure to tell.

To: Bucky

From: AES

Holy shit you got robbed by raccoons that’s so funny. You are like a living meme, and absolutely the most interesting employee I’ve ever had and there are rumors that one of my assistants works for the KGB. To be fair she is terrifying.

-AS

That damn redhead that talked to him! Bucky could see it and he lets his employer know it too. And then tells him to get someone with better people skills to approach potential money spenders so they don’t run away before the get hired for a sweet gig.

By the time he gets home he’s sent off AES four more random stories, including the time Clint left him alone in the airport for a few minutes to kiss Pietro off to Romania only to come back to find him attempting to escape a conversation with a naked old man. When Sam found out about that he told Steve to stop being grateful that Bucky put up with him because clearly Bucky was the one that was more trouble than he was worth. Security at the airport seemed inclined to agree but it was hardly Bucky’s fault the old man decided to wear his birthday suit and strike up a conversation with him. And it was rude to walk away. AES seemed to find that one particularly funny.

His apartment, at least, is not as ratty looking with his new things courtesy of his new employer though there was a bit of a damper on that considering he knew someone died here. But he at least had a sweet new TV to distract him from the dead guy. AES responds to him just as someone knocks on the door and Bucky sighs, vowing to curse Sam to hell if that was him. He opens the door two find two panicked looking guys holding some weird looking suit. “We’re hiding from the cops can you please let us in?” the skinnier one says and his Latino companion smacks him.

“Why would you tell him that?” he asks.

“How else were we going to get it?” the skinny one replies.

“Man, I had a whole backstory for us, it totally would have worked because-”

“Yeah okay,” Bucky says, stepping aside to let the two guys in. “So what’s that?” he asks, nodding to their suit thing.

“Uh… the thing we stole. We don’t really know what it does or what it is but it was behind like twelve feet of concrete in Pym Technologies so we figure it’s important,” the skinny guy says.

His companion waits a few beats and gives the skinny guy a look. “You are such a rude guest, you didn’t even introduce us. I’m Luis, this is Scott-” he starts but Scott cuts him off.

“Don’t give him our names, what the hell!” Scott says.

“Oh, like our names are original or memorable at all. A Latino guy named Luis and a white guy named Scott; we’ve described half of the state. He doesn’t even know that those are our real names, they could be code names or acronyms or something, he doesn’t know. For all he knows-” Luis probably would have went on but Scott cuts him off.

“Those are our real names,” he points out.

“Well now he knows that for sure thanks to you. Honestly I have no idea how I got labeled the dumb one out of the two of us because you are some next level-“ Bucky tunes him out and goes to answer the email from AES.

*

To: AES

From: Bucky

Hey, I’m harboring a couple criminals in my apartment and they have some weird Pym Technologies suit thing, want it? These particular criminals are dumb enough that they didn’t notice that I walked off with their stolen goods.

Tony blinks at the screen for a moment, examining the pictures that Bucky sent. He buzzes for Natasha and tells her to go find Bucky out of curiosity more than anything.

“I will have you know that I am not your errand boy,” Natasha tells him when she gets back, “and I want the profits from that thing.”

“If it’s worth anything,” Tony says though he could already see that there were parts of it that were worth something. And that helmet was a fucking awful design.

“Half the profits, Stark,” Natasha says as she leaves. Tony looks at the suit and frowns a little, wondering how the hell the employee he was supposed to pay for ended up giving him a gift. Bucky really was something entirely new to him and he was rather enjoying it.

Chapter 3

Notes:

Warning for a mention of child abuse.

And I think I'll only have a two of three chapters left. This one is meant to be short and I might actually stick to that!

“I’ve isolated the Pym Particle!” AES yells in Bucky’s ear.

“The what?” he asks, frowning at him phone.

“The Pym Particle!” AES yells excitedly. Well, at least he wasn’t ninety or at least he didn’t sound like he was. “You know, the shrinky particle,” he adds when it becomes clear that Bucky was still clueless.

“Oh, okay I know what that is. Didn’t I give you a suit though? How did you find a particle in that?” Seemed like an odd place to find a particle but okay, who was he to judge? And he now knew AES had access to lab gear and equipment and quick given how fast he managed to find this… Pym Particle.

“It looks like Pym was trying to weaponize it but his attempts at engineering are childlike and offensive to the machinery. Anyways, thanks for releasing that little nugget. Pym is fiercely protective of the damn particle and he refuses to let people experiment with it. Ironically that was because he didn’t want anyone to weaponize it. hypocritical douche,” AES mumbles under his breath, drawing an eyebrow raise from Bucky.

“Hypocritical douche? Strong words considering he made an unusable suit,” he points out. He guessed that at least Scott and Luis managed to avoid the police though they didn’t seem impressed that Bucky managed to steal the suit they stole. But, being the world’s worst criminals, they didn’t retaliate.

“Ah, I know Pym a little too well. I went to school with his daughter; the guy is a real asshole. Trust me. And now I have the Pym Particle so he can eat shit. Anyways, so how’s your day been so far?” he asks.

“Decent. Got free ice cream from some old guy who said I looked like his late wife. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I’m a man because he seemed sweet and he wanted to be nice,” Bucky says. He looked so happy too, so Bucky just smiled his thanks and walked away with his newly acquired treat. Sam had squinted hard at him, confused yet again on how these things always seemed to happen to him but it was hardly like Bucky had an explanation.

“Aww. That’s sweet. Once I was in Aspen and some old lady mistook me for her grandson so I spent the day with her because she seemed lonely. That was probably the only selfless thing I ever did at that age. I was a real ass for most of my life but hey, the old lady seemed to have a decent time,” AES says.

Bucky raises an eyebrow because that’s new. He didn’t tend to get information back but he wasn’t opposed to sharing. It seemed like a good time to learn random facts about his employer to figure out who he was. “I’m sure you weren’t that bad,” he says. Most teens were selfish anyways, Bucky certainly was. Then he grew up a little, got some experience, and moved on from his ‘its not a phase!’ phase. That was better than Steve’s weeaboo phase though. He was pleased to still have picture evidence to use against Steve if he ever needed to.

“Oh no, I was horrible. I was a total selfish prick and I honestly have no idea how I had friends. Well, friend. The rest stuck around because I’m rich and I throw good parties. Or I used to anyways.” Rich party boy then? That narrowed things down considerably and he wonders if he’s working for Justin Hammer. God, he hoped not. Except he hasn’t grown out of his annoying party phase.

“Aren’t we all annoying pricks as teens though? I mean I also only had one good friend, and I threw good parties. And that’s how I lost my arm,” he says, snickering when AES chokes on something.

“Jesus, that sounds terrible. Sorry,” he says, sounding genuine.

Bucky shrugs even though his employer couldn’t see it. “Nah its fine, it makes cuddling easier because I don’t have the awkward arm issue. Plus I didn’t technically lose my arm at the party, I got in a nasty car accident on the way home from the party and reached out to make sure Steve was okay right before we were hit.” Later he found out that the little bastard only had minor bruising and a scratch on his cheek, meanwhile Bucky lost an entire arm. He wouldn’t have lost it if he hadn’t reached for Steve too, which Steve told him was a sign he was too protective but Bucky wouldn’t have changed a thing. He was fine with only one arm, and sometimes he got to tell small children it fell off, which never failed to get interesting results.

AES remains quite for a few seconds too long but when Bucky opens his mouth to speak his boss decides to talk. “My parents died in a nasty car crash when I was a kid. You’d think that would have made me less selfish but I’m pretty sure I turned into an even bigger ass,” he says.

“Probably because you thought there was something to learn from the pain. There isn’t usually, sometimes things just suck. I did learn how to do a bunch of stuff with one arm though, so I guess that’s kind of cool,” he jokes, trying to lighten the mood a little. He at least draws a small laugh from his boss.

*

When Bucky makes it home he is more than a little surprised to find his apartment completely empty, which in hindsight wouldn’t have been shocking for the area. After a few minutes of shock though, he notices the small envelope on the ground and picks it up, half expecting it to be some note from Scott and Luis informing him that they stole all his shit but it isn’t.

You seriously live in this rat hole? Ew. Have a new apartment.

-AES

The paper gives off an address and a set of keys too. Given the location Bucky didn’t even want to know what rent must cost there but he guessed he was moving.

Bucky decides to set to work on figuring out who AES was on his way to his new apartment that he didn’t even need because this was ridiculous. He was getting paid to spend money and now he was getting gifts too? Come on. A quick email to his employer resulted in him learning that he didn’t have to pay rent either because he freaking bought the place. All his research found him was some shit on advanced encryption standard, auto engineering society, and American education services though. None of that was at all useful to him but he arrives at his stop to he resolved to check the rest of his information in the google highway later.

The apartment, once Bucky gets to it, is probably the nicest place he’s ever set foot in and he half wants to walk back out because he felt so out of place. His phone buzzes in his pocket and he takes it out numbly, staring at the freaking fireplace before pressing his phone to his ear. “Hello?” he asks, sounding dazed to himself.

“Do you like it?” AES asks enthusiastically.

“How much room did you think I needed? This place is fucking humungous and there’s a fireplace.” Why would he ever even need a fireplace? And what happened to his furniture? It was all replaced with admittedly better stuff but still.

“Well you said you had friends. I figured I’d account for them staying over sometimes. But do you like it?” he asks.

“I would if I didn’t feel like a dirty raccoon in a white peacock world,” Bucky says. “Seriously, the only way I’d ever even get near this place is if I was like the maid or I was robbing someone. I’m fairly certain the doorman assumed I was lost until I gave my name.” Then he got a snooty once over and was let into the building. That guy opened doors for rich people, as if he had the place to judge Bucky for looking like he just crawled out of a trashcan.

“Well I figured if you weren’t going to buy cool things for you I would. Go check out your bedroom,” AES says, enthusiasm holding while Bucky tried to figure out where the fuck his room was supposed to be. At some point he ended up on the wrong floor but eventually he makes it.

“Okay that ceiling is fucking cool,” Bucky says, eying the massive window his bed faced. And it was a new bed too, but it looked comfortable so that’s all that mattered.

‘Yeah? I liked it too, check out your closet,” AES tells him. Bucky moves towards what he thinks is the closet and finds a huge master bathroom- the fourth freaking bathroom he’s found- and looks around for another door. Finding it he walks over to the door and opens it to find a huge room that was probably larger than his last apartment filled with clothing he probably would have cried over if he saw the price tags.

“Holy shit,” he whispers to himself more than his employer.

“And that’s how you spend money,” AES says smugly.

Bucky sits down in the middle of his closet because he was in some sort of sensory overload at the moment and he wasn’t sure how to handle it. The shoes to his left probably cost more than his rent seven times over but they were nice at least. “I don’t know if I can spend that much money. I’m a poor egg,” he says honestly. And he had no idea how he could possibly keep up spending like this either. If he looked at the price of one of those lovely button down shirts alone he’d probably weep.

“It really isn’t that hard,” AES says but he was rich, what the fuck did he know? “There must be something you want that cost money,” he says after Bucky is silent for a beat too long.

“I just got everything I could have ever even dreamed of on a silver platter with thirty thousand dollars on top. I literally have no idea how to spend like I’m in your tax bracket. Ten dollars is a lot to me okay, this… this is like… I don’t even know how to handle this,” he says honestly.

“Ten dollars? What the hell could you even do with that?” AES asks and Bucky can hear the frown in his voice.

“A lot if you know how to do it right. I could teach you a thing or two about spending well. I just… why do you even do this? I mean you seem like an agreeable enough guy, and you’re clearly very generous. But you sound kind of lonely and this is a really weird job even for me and I once warmed beds in hotels. It was awesome.” Best job he ever had. He literally got paid to have a bunch of twenty-minute power naps and that was ideal.

AES remains silent for a long moment and Bucky gives him time. It was hardly like they knew each other all that well and honestly Bucky was a shit employee is this is the kind of spending he was expected to do. And here he thought buying all new furniture was a big expense. “Look, I grew up in a fucking shitty family. My father was an abusive piece of shit and my mom tried but there’s only so much you can do with that. Truth is I never really did learn how to connect with people and they always seem to want my money anyways and I get it. So I guess this is my way of trying to… to take care of someone without having to worry that they want my money because they have it,” he admits somewhat quietly.

That was one of the saddest things Bucky has ever heard. “Shit, I didn’t expect to unlock your tragic backstory,” he says and AES snorts and starts laughing. “This doesn’t exactly seem like a good way to connect with people though. I don’t even know your name unless it’s advanced encryption standard,” he says. This gets another sharp laugh and Bucky laughs softly too. Imagine if that was this sorry bastard’s name, that would be awful and this was coming from a guy named James Buchanan. His nickname wasn’t much better either.

“It isn’t and I know it. You’re the only one I’ve ever even had an honest conversation with,” AES says. Bucky was tempted to call him Advance Encryption but AES was shorter. Actually Ace was a suitable nickname and saved letter enunciation time.

“Like in general or…” Bucky really hoped it wasn’t in general.

“Oh god no, I have friends. Like three but they count. I mean I pay two of them but I like to think they’d stick around without pay. And I don’t think I could shake Rhodey if I tried- actually I have tried but he never seems to go. I mean out of my employees. The ones that do your job, not the other two friends I was talking about…” That sounded like a pretty lonely life to Bucky but he’s been poor enough to know he’d rather be lonely than a hair away from starvation. It would suck, but significantly less than waiting for death. He could always pay fake friends and pretend like he wasn’t that lonely. Some might even like him enough to accept him but there was nothing he could do about starving without money. The rest of his employer’s life… well, no amount of money made abuse easier and Bucky hoped that father of his got what was coming to him.

“That’s awful. For the record I think you sound like you’d be pretty awesome to be around,” he sys honestly.

Ace snorts, “yeah, only until I do something stupid. I have a bad self destruction habit when people get too close. Makes me panic.”

Oddly enough Bucky understood that. “You aren’t the only one. That car crash fucked me up pretty good. The therapist my mom finally managed to pay for said I had PTSD and I had one hell of a time doing much of anything after that. I lost a lot of friends because I was hardly the fun loving outgoing guy I used to be. But being reminded of my own mortality kind of messed with my head and that huge friend loss hasn’t made me very trusting. Most of the time I assume all my friends secretly hate me and they just keep me around for like… I don’t know, some sort of sick source of entertainment or something.” It wasn’t something he’s ever mentioned to Steve because he didn’t want the stupid ‘of course that’s not true!’ spiel. It would just make him feel worse to see Steve’s fierce defense of their friendship because then he’d be bothering Steve and his over enthusiasm was sometimes a bit much. So he kept it to himself and secretly liked Sam for being up front about not liking him. He knew where Sam really stood.

“Okay, not to like… shit on what you just told me but you got free ice cream from some old man who thought you looked like his dead wife this morning. You’re absolutely the most entertaining person I have ever met and I technically haven’t even met you. Last week you stole a suit from a couple of guys who stole a suit from Hank Pym and now I have the Pym Particle. If I wasn’t talking to you right now I’d think you were fake,” Ace says, drawing a laugh out of Bucky.

“You bought me a million dollar penthouse, if you weren’t talking to me I’d think you were fake too,” Bucky says.

“Actually it was fifty seven million but sure, million dollar penthouse,” AES says casually, like that was a normal thing to say ever. Bucky chokes on air and starts coughing, shocked and a little appalled at the price of his new house. “Calm down, you deserve nice things so I bought you some nice things. It’s no big deal.”

“It is when you’re me!” he squeaks out.

Notes:

Fun fact- Bucky's google results are the actual google results you'd get when you look up AES.

Chapter 4

“So how’s the new apartment?” Ace asks.

Bucky snorts into his morning coffee because yet again he had one of Those Moments. “This morning I found out that Clint has been living with me for a week and this place is so big that we haven’t run into each other and Clint went looking for me the last three days. Is this seriously an apartment to you?” he asks, curious. Did rich people live in houses bigger than this? Why? Unless they were housing a freaking colony they didn’t need this much space.

“I’ve lived in various mansions all my life so yeah, that’s actually really small. I guess assuming you lived in a closet is more because of my own perceptions than um… normal people perceptions, huh?” Ace says, sounding somewhat embarrassed.

“Nah. I really did live in a closet. My friends and I nicknamed it the Harry Potter house. It made the nasty roach infestation that I had there for the first year marginally less horrible. I think the only reason the landlord every fixed that was because someone released the roaches into his house or that’s what I heard anyways.” That guy was a total prick and he was curious as to how Ace managed to get him out of his lease. Probably a lot of money an bribery. He hoped Zola got stung by five very angry wasps in the near future.

“Oh. Well that’s horrible. I guess you must like the space you have now,” Ace says.

Yeah, he would if his house didn’t feel so damn empty all the time. He was half tempted to tell Sam and Steve to take one of the other rooms so that he felt less lonely with only Clint around. “It’s nice, but way bigger than I’m used to. Seriously, I lost a whole person in here for a week. Love that porch though, last night I was enjoying the sun when someone’s parrot got loose and I got the pleasure of talking to it before it flew away.” The owner was doing a lot of screaming and Bucky hoped that he got the parrot back, but talking to the bird had been nice and more than entertaining.

“You had a conversation with a parrot last night? Seriously?” Ace asks.

“You’ve known me long enough to know that this is not unusual to me. Accept it.”

*

Bucky’s research has told him that Ace is likely between the age of thirty and forty according to Hope Van Dyne’s age. He’d narrow it down further but that was difficult with the lack of detail that he had. He also learned that a sad number of people lost their parents to car crashes young, ‘Rhodey’ is a common name, and most of the other information was generic. And looking up AES as initials instead of an acronym left way too many possibilities. And AES lead to a bunch of company bullshit and some other stuff that was irrelevant.

“We’re going to Romania the day after tomorrow, thought I should let you know,” Clint says, casually eating some M&Ms. Bucky gives him a look and Clint shrugs, “what? I want to visit Pietro and you can go visit old crotchety Ethyl.”

“If you told Aunt Ethyl that I’ll be in Romania this week I sincerely hope that Pietro has left you for another man,” he says very seriously.

Clint snorts, “chill Barnes, I didn’t tell Ethyl. I did book us a spot in some swanky hotel though, that little black card of yours is useful,” he says, grinning.

“How long have you had that?” he asks.

“Long enough to know you’re a shit employee. I’ll happily take your place.” Bucky rolls his eyes and gives Clint a playful shove, instructing him to give that card back.

*

Watching Clint and Pietro try to communicate was fucking hilarious. Pietro had an accent all the time but after spending so much time in Romania his accent was way thicker than normal and Clint was hard of hearing to begin with. Bucky, of course, understood all of what poor Pietro was trying to communicate- including the frustrated Romanian swear words- while Clint looked like a confused puppy.

Bucky wanders off right as Pietro gives up and switches to sign language, which Clint seems considerably more comfortable with. Wanda was off somewhere entertaining herself and Bucky makes his way to a nearby coffee shop to try and figure out who the hell AES was. He had a few more search combinations to try and he was damn determined to figure it out. In the meantime, though, he learned that his employer didn’t sleep very well because the time zone difference hasn’t made his response times any slower.

Wanda shows up some time later looking a lot more relaxed than she has in some time, probably because she worried too much about Pietro. He has always been the more responsible one though so Bucky didn’t see why she would be worried. Pietro, on the other hand, seemed content to be worried from a distance. Maybe because Wanda didn’t take being worried up close well.

“How goes your search?” she asks, her accent heavier than it normally is.

“Fine,” he answers in English, not sure why she chose the language given that he also knew Romanian. “Actually I still haven’t found anything useful so maybe not so fine. But I’m working on it!” he kept coming across stuff for Tony Stark, but that didn’t account for the E and there was no way he was working for Tony Stark.

Wanda nods and presses her hands to her coffee cup. “You seem… attached to your boss. Be careful, Bucky. Feelings are messy,” she says softly.

“You’re telling me, Sam called me in tears the other day trying to find a fucking ring for Steve. I told him to buy a ring pop,” he says, grinning. Sam had cussed him out something fierce and then hung up but Bucky knew he’d pick something out that Steve would like anyways. And it was funny to watch him flounder.

“Bucky,” Wanda says seriously, “I’m trying to look out for you here. You talk to this guy pretty much every day and about some personal things too. Things I don’t think you’ve told any of us and that worries me. This isn’t a relationship, it’s a business transaction.”

To her, yeah. But this has never been a business transaction to Ace, and it hasn’t been that way for him for a while too. “I understand what you’re saying Wanda, but you don’t know what you’re talking about,” he tells her honestly and without malice.

She looks at him for a long moment, “just be careful, Bucky.”

*

It had been a whim, something Tony had decided on last minute and now his stomach was fluttering uncomfortably and he was regretting this. Bucky probably wouldn’t even be past the jet leg yet and he was stupid and agreed to meet him and… And he should have just left this as a damn employer/ employee relationship but he even managed to fuck that up. It was nothing new he supposed, and he really did care about Bucky, but he’d never be able to hold a relationship. He’s never held a relationship in his whole damn life and because he had a few successfully phone calls from a guy he paid a pretty high amount of money to stick around. What if this was all some sort of… he didn’t know, some kind of joke or something to make him feel like shit? It’d hardly be the first time someone tried to take him down a peg.

So he waits outside nervously, fighting the urge to fidget expertly as he waits. The minutes tick by slowly and Tony starts to think that maybe he misread things when Bucky blows right past him, giving him a confused glance for a second before moving on. “Bucky,” Tony calls, confused for a moment but when Bucky spins around looking considerably freaked out he’s even more confused.

“How did you know my name?” he asks, shocked.

“Uh, technically you’ve been working for me for two months. I’m not that bad with names.” Especially not when he told Bucky about his parents’ funeral, which had been a total disaster though Tony couldn’t bring himself to regret it now. But for years afterwards he had felt guilty for telling thousands of people media and all that Howard was a sick sonofabitch who deserved what he got and then some. In his defense he did also say that he’d miss his mom with everything he had and he still did some days, when he thought too hard about her. Most of the time he tried to ignore that time in his life, and he certainly didn’t talk about it to anyone.

Bucky looks like he’s trying to do some really complicated math and Tony’s stomach flips again, making him curse his damn nerves. “But… what the hell does AES stand for? I’ve done a lot of googling,” Bucky says, brows drawing together.

“Anthony Edward Stark- you know, my name. Seriously? You need to up your googling game,” he says, flippant attitude and easy humor rolling off the tongue easily as ever.

“Oh my god,” Bucky says, smacking his palm to his forehead. “I am such an idiot, I even came across your name a few times too but I had no clue what your middle name was. It doesn’t suit you.” He walks closer as he speaks, stopping just a bit too close to be strictly friendly and Tony ducks his head for a moment, unsure what to do because this wasn’t the kind of situation he usually found himself in. Usually the closest he got to a relationship was sex and that hardly counted. Not on it’s own anyways.

“It’s a family name, Anthony too technically. Kind of always pissed me off that I didn’t get a name of my own,” he says because that’s how a person starts a fucking conversation. Sure, here’s all my daddy issues, have fun! This was why he stuck to sex; he was actually good at that.

“Well, to be fair when people think of your name they won’t be thinking of your relatives. You kind of made it your own with sheer awesomeness. And intelligence,” Bucky says and Tony’s stomach calms a little.

“Oh. Thanks,” he says awkwardly, giving into the urge to fidget just a bit. Usually he was god at hiding his feelings and portraying an air of confidence because he didn’t get much choice with everyone watching but this was different.

“Are you nervous?” Bucky asks, sounding surprised.

“Yeah… yeah a little. This isn’t exactly my style, which you know because everyone knows…” And everyone had assumptions too and he wasn’t looking forward to that conversation…

Bucky laughs a little and Tony thinks he had a pretty smile. That was what had drawn him to Bucky in the first pace, that and he actually looked good with a bun with a little hair escaping to frame his face, unlike the hipsters Tony has seen attempting the look. “Wow, my presence is making Tony Stark nervous and not because I only have one arm. Of all the weird shit that’s happened to me this has got to be the weirdest. Unless you are nervous because I only have one arm…?” Bucky says, apparently realizing that that was a possibility.

Tony looks towards the wrong arm first so clearly he didn’t notice. “Yeah, that’s not it. I… this is the first time I’ve done this and I don’t do relationships. I’m sure you’ve heard me say that at least a million times. But I like you and its freaking me out,” he says honestly.

“What, you’ve never liked someone before?” Bucky jokes, obviously trying to lighten the mood.

“Nope. Guess that makes you a special snowflake,” he says, grinning.

“Its so weird that you said that because on my way here I got chased down by some rando in a snowflake mascot costume yelling about money. I have no idea, I lost him in an ally,” Bucky says and Tony starts laughing.

“How do these things even happen to you?” he asks. He’s never met someone with a life more interesting than his own until Bucky came along.

“No clue. But I got to pet a three legged dog earlier too and the owner laughed at the joke about us matching,” he says, face lighting up in happiness. Tony decides it’s a good look for him.

Chapter 5

Notes:

Warning for a mention of child abuse.

It was pretty well documented in the media that Tony didn’t do relationships, he never has. Never really had much interest in them really and he had no idea why people were so obsessed with romance. Even Rhodey, probably the most level-headed person Tony knew, had a thing with romance. It was prominent enough that when Hammer managed to build yet another defective product that actually managed to hurt someone this time Rhodey was convinced that Hope would leave him. Over a back injury. Something like that never occurred to him and to be fair when he mentioned it to Bucky he looked real confused too so clearly Tony was right.

But Bucky though, there was something about him that was actually interesting in a way that intrigued Tony to move beyond the platonic. People in his life were predictable, boring, and at some point someone wanted something from him always. It was just how it worked. But Bucky wasn’t boring like everyone else and Tony could see the anxiety Bucky had when it came to Tony’s wealth. That was weird to him considering poor people needed money, but here was someone who was used to being poor freaking out over an abundance of wealth. It was nice though because for the first time in pretty much his whole life he knew that someone had no interest in his wealth and he knew that for a fact. If Bucky had any interest in his money he would have known about that when he basically told him to go hog wild as a job and honestly Bucky was pitiful at it.

“Anything in the world Bucky, what do you want?” Tony asks, curious to see what Bucky would come up with.

“A job would be nice,” he mumbles, glaring at his computer screen.

“You’re dating a billionaire, the fuck do you need a job for?” Tony asks, genuinely confused. Of all the things Bucky wanted in the world he wanted a job he didn’t even need? Why?

“I don’t want to be called a gold digger by the media when they inevitably find out about us and also its boring not doing anything all day. No wonder housewives fought for the right to work, being in the house all day is dead boring and I don’t think throwing kids at me would make it exciting,” he says.

“Yeah, no kids. Never been fond of them,” Tony says quickly. That, and he ha always been afraid that he’d turn out too close to Howard for comfort. Technically that already happened once and he wasn’t looking to repeat that with a kid in case he fucked that kid up for life like Howard did for him.

“Me neither,” Bucky says, setting his computer aside, “come here.”

Tony walks over and sits on the couch, letting out an indignant squawk when Bucky pulls him into his lap. “Give a guy a warning,” Tony says, laughing.

“I told you to come here, not sit on the edge of the couch playing the prude. I’ve seen the news clips, you are not a prude,” Bucky says to him, grinning.

“Oh, we’re taking advice on how to deal with me from the media now?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Why not, I’ve learned a lot from watching the media deal with you. Like don’t pester you about romance or family, and don’t bring up Howard Stark while we’re at it, only ever talk about Justin Hammer if you’re making fun of him, and all sorts of other interesting facts. Seriously, there is a wealth if information there,” Bucky says very seriously. Tony shorts and shakes his head because Bucky was something else.

*

Tony, Bucky learns, has a thing for trying to throw money at his problems. At first he spent too much time listening to Steve and he started to wonder if money was all Tony had to offer but he could feel that that was wrong. Tony focused too much on money yeah, but Bucky knew things Steve didn’t. Like the abuse he suffered as a child, how his genius made it difficult to focus on mundane things because he found them boring and repetitive in a way that made him feel like jumping out of his skin, and how he never really learned to take care of himself let alone others. So Bucky started paying more attention and he noticed a pattern.

When Tony noticed Bucky was feeling off he got a gift, usually something small after the first time he got Bucky a fifty thousand dollar watch that gave him a panic attack. He also brought Bucky a drink home every time he was gone for awhile, and it was always something that Bucky liked. Given that he and Tony had vastly different drink tastes it was no accident that he happened to get something Bucky liked every time. And he paid attention to Bucky’s reactions too because Tony tended to buy the drinks he liked the best after he managed to weed a few out.

Being with Tony was odd because he wasn’t good at emotions, a few minutes with the guy would tell anyone that he was incapable of not being a snarky ass. But that didn’t mean he didn’t feel anything for the people around him, it just meant he showed it in some really odd ways. Sometimes JARVIS would remind him of appointments or other things he had to do, meaning that Tony thought about him enough to put his routine through his personal AI. JARVIS also made sure to have all of Bucky’s favorite foods in the house too- another show of affection that was outside the norm. Tony also liked to make random gadgets for him too, things that were designed to make his life easier. Bucky knew what technology meant to Tony, saw how much he connected to it, and to receive a custom made anything from him was essentially him handing a piece of himself over too.

So Steve was wrong and Bucky was smitten with his new relationship regardless of how Steve felt about it. Sam at least took to Tony somewhat kindly, even if he was a bit frosty at first. But Sam’s a genius and apparently he had a secret love of technology so he and Tony became fast friends and Sam got a better job working for SI. And it came with sweet benefits that meant Steve’s hospital bills wouldn’t be nearly as stressful anymore. And even if Tony wasn’t the absolute best in every way he was definitely hot enough to make up for it. He had been worried about being older, and he wasn’t even that much older than Bucky, but he was pretty sure Tony forgot how attractive he was. Every one agreed, even Pietro and usually he had no idea what physically attractive even meant. But mostly Tony was next level weird and that was right up Bucky’s always extremely odd reality.

“Here,” Tony says, interrupting his thoughts with a pumpkin spice latte.

“Thanks. You’re the best, you know,” Bucky says with meaning.

Tony snorts and shakes his head, “you are so weird, you always act so grateful and it’s a drink. It’s not like its that special.”

“Yeah, except it is. I know you said a while back when you bought me that apartment that you don’t really know how to take care of people but you’re wrong. You just do it differently than everyone else. Most people do that touchy-feely I love you shit but you bring me drinks and make me phones. If I was an ungrateful ass I would assume that meant you didn’t really care because everyone knows that money doesn’t buy love. Except for the fact that you know that expressing emotions like everyone expects you to is hard, so you do other things instead. So this isn’t a drink, this is your way of telling me that you care. Of course I act grateful for that,” he says honestly. What kind of jackass wouldn’t?

Tony stands there for a moment, stunned. ‘Did you know I dated Pepper for awhile? Four years, actually. We broke up because she told me that I couldn’t buy her love.”

“But that wasn’t what you were doing though, that’s just how you show affection because it’s easier for you that way. I get that.” Sometimes it was easier for him too because accepting affection is hard and Tony’s way made it easer to stomach as long as he didn’t see the price. That was probably why he liked the drinks the best- unless Tony found some ridiculously expensive coffee shop they didn’t cost much.

“See, this is why I like you so much. You get me when no one else does and you actually pay attention to things. I mean Pepper is way better with Happy than me, and I like you way more than her, but still. The relationship thing just isn’t for me without you,” he says, sitting on the couch next to Bucky and curling into his side. It looked kind of odd with Tony still in his suit but Bucky wasn’t about to complain.

“I love you too, Tony,” he says.

Tony’s cheeks get just a bit red and he smiles more to himself than Bucky before he shifts a bit, “so, anything interesting happen to you today?” he asks like he did pretty much every day.

“Yeah, I rescued the president from some vicious pigeons,” he says.

“Seriously?” Tony asks after a moment of silence.

“Yeah. Apparently Carter wanted some alone time so she slipped Secret Service and went to go hang out in Central Park for a couple hours before she had to go back to president things I guess but then the pigeons were after her sandwich and honestly all I say was a hooded figure fighting the birds for their lunch so I figured I’d help and I was more effective in protecting the president than the Secret Service today. Also I have a picture evidence,” he says because no one ever believed these things. He sets his drink aside and fishes his phone out of his pocket to show Tony a picture of Peggy Carter, hood still mostly on, with her sandwich in hand smiling.

“How are you even real?” Tony asks, shaking his head. Bucky shrugs, by all means he was confused too.

Notes:

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