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The First Confession
Kyle isn’t sure where he stands in his relationship with Jason. The whole thing had just sort of happened. He doesn’t know how to ask if it’s temporary. He’s scared to ask. That doesn’t stop him from having feelings.
It’s been a long day and Kyle is tired and Jason isn’t asking for anything but lazy kisses and it’s nice . Jason is above Kyle, sprinkling his neck with kisses. His arms are big and firm and it’s kind of amazing how gentle he’s being. His hand moves under Kyle’s shirt, callouses lightly brushing his stomach. A laugh spills out of Kyle, “ Jason.”
“Mm,” Jason mutters, moving his hands down to Kyle’s hips, “Sorry. You’re soft.”
Kyle wriggles, “Shut up.” He says it lightly, but Jason pulls a few inches away.
He’s frowning. “I didn’t…”
“I’m not mad,” Kyle says, reaching out to touch Jason’s neck and hopefully pull him into a kiss.
Jason runs a hand down Kyle’s arm, his eyebrows pressing together. “Look, I don’t know what kind of shit they tell you in the Lantern Corps or whatever, but…” He bites his lip.
“Jason?” Kyle asks, a little confused.
He lets out a frustrated sigh. “It’s good. I mean, you’re good. Like this. Like you are… and whatever.”
“Wow,” Kyle mutters, his skin warming pleasantly, “That’s uh… You’re sweet.”
Blood rushes to Jason’s face and his struggle to stay composed is evident. “Don’t get carried away.”
He leans in a little quickly and bumps noses, but then slows down to tease Kyle’s lips with his own. Kyle can’t help another laugh. “God, I love you.”
Jason pulls away abruptly. “What?”
“I…”
Jason’s face is guarded and intense and his shoulders are tensed like he’s waiting for Kyle to attack. And… Jesus.
“I love ewe… Like sheep?”
“What?” Jason repeats, a little less intensely.
Kyle swallows. “Uh. The blanket. Wool is cozy.”
Jason actually relaxes. He knows Jason isn’t stupid, but he can’t help thinking how Alex or Donna would have hit Kyle with a camera about now. “Right. You’re weird.”
“Texture is important…”
“Sure,” Jason says. His attention returns to Kyle’s mouth and the conversation fades from Kyle’s thoughts pretty quickly.
The Second Confession
When he’s around, Kyle helps Jason in Gotham. Batman has yet to do anything about it, save for a few Bat Stares (they weren’t exactly glares, so much as looks that said ‘I’m watching you like a creepy vampire person’). The other vigilantes don’t seem to mind him for the most part.
“This is way easier when they’re unarmed,” Spoiler says, kicking a former gunman in the gut.
Jason has to grab a guy trying to flee the warehouse. Meanwhile, Orphan looks pretty bored for a woman tossing grown men over her shoulder. Kyle regards the net of firearms beside him on the ground. “I could put them in a net.”
“Nuh-uh,” Jason says, landing a punch, “Stress relief. You could block the exits.”
Orphan already has most of the guys down, but Kyle stations some sharp fanged dogs in front of the doors. He considers putting a pterodactyl or a Pegasus by the window, but decides screw it. Winged dog.
“I was thinking a wall ,” Jason says, but even through the helmet he sounds amused.
Spoiler drops her last guy and glances back at the door. “I like the dogs. They’re cute in a bite-your-hand-off kind of way. Like Robin.”
Orphan grins, then adds one last bad guy to the pile.
“Thanks?” Kyle says, because he thinks it’s a compliment. Robin is pretty intimating as far as teenagers go. Letting his constructs fade, he stands and stretches. “That was some pretty cool kicking and...” He makes a vague gesture, “Throwing.”
Jason snorts and the ladies look somewhat pleased.
“I should get going,” he says, floating a bit, “I have some upcoming deadlines.”
Orphan tilts her head. “Deadlines?”
“He’s an artist,” Jason says.
She nods, then smiles at Kyle, “Cool.”
He smiles back. “A starving artist. Where do you guys grab food around here?”
“If you want breakfast food,” Spoiler says, using an unconscious guy’s head to push herself up, “You’ve found the right girl.”
“I doubt he has time to wait for waffles.” Jason fishes a granola bar from one of his pockets and tosses it to Kyle. “There’s leftover soup in my fridge. Go finish your stupidly unspecific bird.”
Kyle sighs. “I love yououuu-” Wait, no. Damn it! “-gurt.”
Spoiler leans over and her voice is pure laughter, “Nice save, dude.”
Orphan is openly staring at him and he can’t even see Jason’s expression under his stupid helmet. Kyle’s face burns.
“Oh-kay,” Jason says, “There’s a grocery store by where we caught that purse snatcher.”
“Cool,” Kyle says, then waves like Jason’s far away or something, “See you, then!”
He flies through the window, forgetting that the window is closed, and sends glass flying into the street.
“Kyle?” he hears Jason call.
“I’m good!” Kyle calls back, trying to ignore his thumping heart.
The Third Confession
“Who shall conceive the horror of my secret toil as I dabbled among the unhallowed damps of the grave, or tortured animal to animate lifeless clay.”
“Oh, gross!” Kyle says, looking up at Jason over his DS screen.
Jason is smirking. “Watch it. You’re laying on a corpse’s lap.”
“You think you’re like Frankenstein’s monster?”
Jason raises his eyebrows. “I was a corpse, brought back to life and made into a monster.”
Kyle knows he should let Jason open up at his own pace – and Jason has, in bits and pieces – but it’s hard when he flippantly brings up his death and resurrection. Especially considering Kyle has shared his own bagged and told him about Alex.
Kyle lets out a breath. “You’re more like Frankenstein,” he says, eyes returning to his screen.
“Fated to be destroyed by my hubris?” Jason asks,
Kyle taps Water Gun on his screen, knocking out Yungoos number infinity. “A drama king.”
“This,” Jason says, smile in his voice, “Coming from you?”
“Shut up,” Kyle tells him, just as Brionne hits level 36. He mashes through the stat screens. “Just keep reading.”
Jason props his elbow on the couch arm, “Can’t do both, sweetheart.”
Kyle knows the ‘sweetheart’ is coated in sarcasm, but damn it, his heart flutters. He is staunchly pro Jason using pet names. “God, why do I love you?”
Jason shuts Frankenstein, using his pointer finger to hold his place. “Are you talking to your Pokemon?”
Maybe Kyle should install a brain-to-mouth filter, but then again maybe Jason should look into a thinner skull.
“Brionne has a ridiculous design,” Kyle tells him, “But it’s adorable somehow.”
“You’re such a fucking geek,” Jason says, lightly bopping Kyle’s forehead with his book.
He thinks, and you’re clueless. Out loud he says, “Hey, you’re the bookworm.”
The Fourth Confesson
It turns that when Jason hangs out with Arsenal, he winds up in Arizona fighting robots in a Denny’s parking lot. Or it could be a trap. It had sounded like Jason was yelling at Arsenal on the phone.
Nope, Kyle thinks, flying closer, Jason is totally wrestling a lizard robot.
An arrow flies in front of Kyle’s face and lodges into one of the robots. Kyle traces its course back to the roof. Arsenal shrugs, loading a new arrow.
Gathering his will, Kyle constructs a ten foot bobcat. It chomps down on the robots, sparks flying and scrap metal biting the ground. A straggler, the one Arsenal had shot, bursts into flames.
“Roy!” Jason complains, slicing though a robot with his arm blades. It makes a sharp zzzzz noise and collapses.
“New arrow!” Arsenal calls.
Kyle forms the thickest blanket he can imagine over the fire. The flames fizzle out. Kyle scans for more stragglers, but finds only scraps and scorch marks. He allows his constructs to fade.
He lands beside Jason, who is tucking his blades away. “Are you alright?”
“Not currently dead.” Jason sighs. “I told Arsenal not to call you.”
“Hey! I helped,” Kyle says. Cold reception for a guy who flew in from New York. “I thought you were in trouble.”
Jason is, again, wearing his stupid helmet, meaning Kyle can’t read him. “I meant he shouldn’t have bothered you. We’re both fine.”
Kyle’s frown turns to concern. “Hey, if you need help, I want to be there.”
Jason turns his head away. “Thanks. Really, it… Thanks, Kyle.”
“Of course,” Kyle says sincerely, “Anytime. Anywhere. I love you—ma.”
Jason lets out a startled laugh. “We’re in Phoenix. How did you get here?”
Kyle chuckles nervously. “Um. Lucky?”
Arsenal appears around the brick corner, apparently having climbed down the opposite side.
“Lantern,” Arsenal greets, looking at Jason, “You showed up.”
Kyle is already lost. “You called me.”
“And you arrived,” Arsenal says, gesturing theatrically, “Special. For me.”
“I think I missed an important conversation.”
Jason shakes his head, “Don’t worry about it. Arsenal was just minding his own business.”
Arsenal holds up his hands, “Just saying, dude.”
“Um, okay, anyway,” Kyle says, looking around, “I’ll just clean this up, I guess.”
Arsenal follows his line of sight. “Actually, since we’re finished anyway, I might as well look through it for parts.”
“Then why the hell were you setting them on fire?” Jason asks.
“Alright, first, that’s not what that arrow was supposed to do,” Arsenal says, “I already have thermal arrows. Second, I thought of it just now.”
Letting out a huff, Jason kneels beside a robot. “Which parts can you use?”
“Yeah, thanks, Jaybird,” Arsenal says, “But maybe don’t send your date home by himself.”
“I could help,” Kyle says, “I’m already here.”
Arsenal shakes his head. “No, seriously, go away.” He flashes a grin. “Me and the machines have a date.”
Jason stands up. “Try not to electrocute anyone.”
Arsenal salutes with one hand, the other already brandishing a screwdriver.
Turning to Kyle, Jason presses the release on his helmet and pulls it off. Kyle can’t help smiling, because he is all about Jason’s blue almond eyes and slightly crooked teeth.
“I’ll fly you to Gotham?” Kyle offers.
“How about lunch first?” Jason asks, guiding Kyle towards the sidewalk with a hand placed between his shoulder blades. “I probably owe you for flying out.”
“Not really,” Kyle says, “But I would fight, like, ten Sinestros for free food, so take me anyway.”
The Fifth Confession
Maybe if Kyle doesn’t get out of bed he won’t have to leave. Sector 2889 can repair itself, probably. Through his eyelids, he can tell light is filtering through the curtains, but he buries his face between Jason’s shoulder blades and clings. Kyle doesn’t know what will happen when he leaves him. Do a few weeks change whatever the hell thing they have going? Does Jason move on? Is Kyle expected to move on?
God, he wants to stay; wants to keeps to loving Jason and laughing with him.
Jason stirs. “Kyle?” he asks, already alert. He has the superhuman ability to be awake ten seconds after waking up. According Jason, he had already slept when he was dead, but Kyle is pretty sure it has more to do him with sleeping on the street as kid.
“Mmh.”
Jason moves around and Kyle hears his hand hit the nightstand. “Don’t you have space shit to do?”
“Yeah,” Kyle whines.
“Then get up and go eat,” Jason says.
“Nuh-uh.”
“For fuck’s sake.” Jason easily shakes off Kyle’s grip and sits up. “I’ll make eggs. That’s it, you lazy ass.”
Jesus. How does Jason not get how nice he can be? Kyle grabs his sleeve before he can slide off the bed. “Hang on a sec.”
Jason raises his eyebrows.
He needs to know before he leaves. He has to know. He doesn’t know how to start asking.
“I love you.”
Jason doesn’t look disgusted exactly. Maybe confused… and a bit annoyed?
“Bring your blanket from your apartment, then.”
“I...” Kyle can’t figure out how to interpret that response. “What?”
“You want me to buy a new wool blanket or something?”
Oh. Oh. That stupid lie. That stupid lie is still less ludicrous to Jason than the idea that Kyle actually cares about him.
“No, Jay, I…” The words escape. He can still see Jason’s face when he told him the first time. It knots his stomach.
Jason touches Kyle’s arm, “Is something wrong?”
He doesn’t understand any of it. He wants to shout and cry and hide and run. What comes out of his mouth is a laugh; shaky and strange.
“Kyle?” Jason asks, some of Red Hood’s intensity in his voice. Kyle can’t stand it. He wants Jason to be okay.
“Sorry. Weird dream.”
Jason is frowning, clearly unconvinced. “All right.” He squeezes Kyle’s arm before he stands up. “Scrambled?”
The Confession That Stuck
Jason’s apartment smalls like gun smoke and lemon scented cleaner. The guns and knifes mounted on the wall gleam and the books are alphabetized without a speck of dust on the shelfs. The room feels like it should contradict itself, but it doesn’t. It’s so incredibly Jason, Kyle’s eyes sting.
He should wait for Jason to come home, but it’s been two months and Kyle is ready to burst with fears and hopes and the want to see Jason and feel his proximity and warmth. Kyle places a hand on the window seal. It’s dark out, so Jason is probably on patrol. Kyle lifts the window open and slips through, into Gotham’s well-lit darkness.
The air is cold, but after two months in space, it barely registers. Fortunately, Gotham’s vigilantes normally travel by rooftop, so Kyle starts his search flying over the city’s buildings. He glides over the worn concrete roofs in the city’s misleading silence.
He catches Nightwing’s voice before he sees anything.
“-not helpful, Jason.”
Kyle scans the nearby rooftops.
“I’m not here to help you babysit.” Kyle’s heart catches on Jason’s voice, right before his sight catches on the red glint of Jason’s helmet.
“All I’m asking,” Nightwing says, from a few feet in front of Jason, “Is that you don’t remind them that they’re mad at each other.”
“I would never-”
“Lantern,” Nightwing says, cutting Jason off, as Kyle’s foot touches the ground.
Jason is looking now, helmet stowed under his arm, and Kyle is suddenly out of breath. “Hey,” he manages.
“Hey,” Jason echoes, opposition slipping away from his posture and tone.
Nightwing sighs, a bit too loudly for it to be genuine, but Kyle’s sight is stuck on Jason’s familiar face. “I guess I’ll go check on the baby birds,” he says, moving towards the edge of the roof, “Make sure they’re still fighting together.”
“Sure,” Jason says without sparing a glance.
“Good luck, Little Wing!” Nightwing calls, dropping backwards. This earns him a glare, but he’s too busy falling through the air to appreciate it.
Kyle’s eyes finally move to where he was standing. “He… does have a grappling hook, right?”
“I don’t stock his gear.”
Kyle stares at him until he rolls his eyes. “He’s fine,” Jason says, “There are rumors he was a circus acrobat. In the circus.”
“Um, okay?” Kyle rubs his neck. “Uh, I think we should talk? If you’re not...” he waves his fists in front him.
Nodding, Jason swallows visibly. “Yeah, the Robins are just picking off some petty criminals. What’s up?”
Kyle wets his mouth, and wills away his mask. “I, um… We have - at least we had – a thing, before I left.” Jason is watching him; intent, but neutral. Kyle takes a breath. “I was trying to… let you decide where it was going;I guess because… I like you a lot, you know?” His eyes are stinging again and he blinks quickly.
Jason steps closer, reaching a hand out as if preparing to steady him from falling.
Kyle pushes forward, through a tightening throat, because he made it this far. “So, basically, you know.” He laughs awkwardly. Of course Jason doesn’t know. “I didn’t want it getting too heavy for you or whatever. And I just-” His voice cracks. “It’s been so freaking long – like forever – and I didn’t- I don’t know if this is-” He knows he sounds ridiculous and desperate and Jason is frowning at him, but screw it. He needs these feelings freed. “Are we still-? Do we mean anything?”
Jason sounds bewildered, “You want us to?”
Oh, God. The tears spill, running down Kyle’s cheeks.
Jason tentatively takes hold of Kyle’s forearm.
“Yes,” Kyle says, and his voice is a mess. “It’s obvious. It should be obvious.”
“Kyle,” Jason says, voice unsteady, “That’s up to you.”
“What? You’ve never-” Kyle shakes his head, “I- I told you I loved you and you froze.”
Jason pulls back a little. “You haven’t-”
“Of course I have!” Kyle interrupts, heart thumping, “I don’t give a crap about sheep or yogurt or Arizona or whatever the hell.”
Jason stares; searches Kyle’s face. His mouth parts, as if to speaks, but no words form.
“I love you,” Kyle says, and it feels amazing and terrifying, so he repeats it, “I love you.”
Jason laughs shakily, moving his hand to Kyle’s cheek, “Fucking Jesus. I never thought- You deserve better.”
Kyle can’t help mimicking Jason’s laugh, even as tears drip down his face. “So do you, Jason.”
“Look, I-” Jason’s gaze drops, before returning to Kyle. “I’d like it if you stuck around. It’d actually be pretty fucking nice.”
Kyle nods, cheek brushing Jason’s fingers. “So, you’re okay with me having feelings? With… officially dating, maybe?”
Jason laughs lightly, pressing a kiss to Kyle’s forehead. “I could live with it.”
Kyle breaks into a grin. His eyes are sticky and he’s deeply exhausted, but this is basically the most amazing moment of his life (eat your heart out, power ring). No more ambiguity. Jason is his freaking boyfriend. He’s going to shout it to the world. And then he’s going to shout it at other worlds. Maybe. He’s definitely going to tell a lot of people and aliens who don’t give a shit. Mostly, he’s going to keep reminding Jason that he is in love with him.
Jason’s cheeks are pink and he’s still smiling. “Calm your ass down.”
“My ass will never again be calm,” Kyle tells him.
Jason huffs. “We should get out of here. There’s a really good chance someone is eavesdropping.”