Chapter Text
He was still in the cinema when his eyes adjusted. The dim lights were on and the movie off. He could hear more than one person around him, Magnus's shiny shoes walking into his eyeline before disappearing again.
Sounds were a bit hard to muddle through. Everything was really. But he tried his best as he sat up. They were watching something...
There were hands under his arms. A face swimming into focus. Sounds were made and then Alec was on his feet. Then he wasn't on his feet.
It would be hours later when he was aware enough to make sense of the world again. He wasn't at the cinema anymore. He wasn't at the Institute either. Instead he was in a dark room, the sheets under his head soft and silky. Alec was confused for all of three minutes until he spotted a familiar cat washing himself on the pillow next to him.
"Hello Chairman," he curled himself up enough to reach over and give Chairman a stroke. Then another one when the idea of getting up was still a little bit beyond him right now. "Don't suppose you could fetch your dad could you?" Alec tried to say. His mouth was a little slack so god knows what Chairman heard.
He ran off anyway, surprisingly returning chirping and twining around Magnus's legs. Magnus perked up when he saw him. "You're awake." He darted back to the living room, Catarina quickly returning with him.
His head was examined. His eyes and whatever else she needed to check as well. Alec would have been bothered but he was surprisingly comfortable right now.
At least he could talk by the time she was done. "Your brother is in the next room," Catarina said when Alec asked why Magnus was waiting in the doorway. "He's been a bit..."
"Can I come in yet?" Was yelled loud enough for Alec to hear.
Magnus checked with Cat before Jace was in and hovering like a mother hen. Speaking of, "Mom?" She had to know.
"Assembling your hospital bed for when you get home."
Urgh. "Great."
There was a shuffle, Jace kicking off his shoes before he was sitting next to Alec, hugging the life out of him. "Are you okay?"
"Getting there."
He was babied for a good seven hours. During that time, he introduced Jace to Magnus's many cats as well as what actually happened when he was out.
Magnus, naturally, knew what to do better than a shadowhunter when it came to seizures. He was barking at the cinema staff when Jace arrived.
Alec's seizure lasted two minutes. He came around after 10. Magnus carried him back here while Jace phoned mom and Catarina and then he napped until he woke up. Nothing to really dwell on except... except Alec had something niggling at the back of his mind when he tried to remember where they'd got up to in the film.
"I think I've seen that movie before," he told Jace a week later. Mom had let him out of the infirmary two days ago. Since then, Alec had been bored stiff and lamenting at the fact he'd ruined his and Magnus's could have been first date. He'd had plans. He was going to try and hold Magnus's hand and, if it wasn't wanted then that was fine since Magnus had popcorn and Alec had an excuse and-
"Really? When?"
Alec sighed, "When I was..." gone? Kidnapped? Used as a punching bag for a year? "I think she made me watch it."
"That's weird."
Yeah. It was. Why would he have been made to watch a film? Except, "She tried to be nice to me," he remembered. "Maybe she always tried that. I mean, I guess I wouldn't have fought her if I thought there wasn't any danger."
"That's..." Jace was pale. Alec hadn't really told them a lot about what happened. He didn't know himself a lot about what happened. But mom and dad had told him to keep some of the more grisly details to himself. "I thought Magnus took your memories." He'd told Jace that at least. About the gaps and the healing. He would tell Izzy too, after they'd started talking a bit more that was.
"He did." Magnus had been thorough too. Alec couldn't remember anything when he thought about that time. "I'm gonna call him I just- I dunno. It's weird right?"
"I don't think weird is the right word," Jace muttered, his brow drawn.
Unlike Jace, Magnus looked confused for all of three minutes before telling Alec he was fine. He wasn't regressing. The memories were still gone.
"I think," Magnus mulled over his words for a while before trying to explain, "Okay, think about it this way. You know when you're a young child and you do something that's very vivid and maybe important in some way, then years later you recall it. Because your brain isn't capable of holding proper memories you only have an imprint of it. You know something happened, but the memory itself, save sensations or one image, is all but gone."
"Vaguely."
"Okay, so, your memory. It's gone, completely," Magnus promised, swinging slightly on Alec's desk chair. "But on your last day, before I removed them permanently, things were still seeping through. Perhaps, on that day, before you left, you looked at certain things and they triggered a, almost a sense memory."
He stopped for a moment.
Then decided to go on with his explanation. "Okay, so, you see, maybe the tv. In this case you have an impression. Maybe she made you watch something over and over again. You recalled that there was an image on that screen. Probably the munchkin since that's when things started to go wrong in the cinema. Now, the memory is gone, but the memory of the memory is still there. Maybe wires got crossed and," he gestured to Alec. "Does that make sense,"
Alec mulled it over for a second. "Yeah. Kind of." He guessed he'd never be able to watch the rest of the Wizard of Oz then. "Sorry," he offered after a while.
"It couldn't be helped." Magnus waved off.
"Still," he felt bad. "Maybe I could make it up to you?"
"Darling there's nothing to make up for. I promise. I'm merely glad you're alright."
Okay, one more attempt and then he was giving up for the day. "How about dinner? When you're not busy. I'm sure you know the best places to eat and I could use an escape from this place?"
Magnus swung a few times on his chair. "You want to go out to dinner?" There was a smile creeping onto his face.
"I mean, if you want to."
Magnus looked him up and down, "Oh I want to." He leaned forward, "Just to be clear, this dinner you're proposing, if I were to initiate some skin contact with you, it wouldn't be, oh, I don't know, hit away with a seraph blade?"
"No seraph blade," Alec promised.
"I'll make a reservation," Magnus said, hopping up. "Clear your plans for Thursday."
"Consider them cleared," although he would have to fight through mom to be let out. He stood, walking Magnus out the long winding halls of the Institute. It was only when they were outside, away from the cameras that littered the front, that Alec asked, "This is a date right? When you said- the skin contact- you mean like in a date kind of way? Yeah?"
Magnus smiled gently at him. "It's a date."
Alec grinned back. "Okay."
"Okay?" Magnus made sure.
Alec nodded, maybe a bit too enthusiastically. "Definitely okay."
"Good."
They parted ways, and Tuesday evening Alec got directions to a little place in Brooklyn that Magnus promised was nicer than it looked. Alec spent the rest of that evening looking it up, maybe studying the menu. Also the dress code and then looking through his own wardrobe for anything that wouldn't be too excessive. Or even half way decent when he realised half of his wardrobe consisted of sweaters and the other workout clothes. He hadn't really had places to go the past few years.
Damn.
"Jaaaace," he ended up bothering when even his best sweater wasn't what he envisioned when he finally got himself a date.
Jace's clothes weren't either. They were also too small, which was how they ended up, on Thursday, the day of the date, with the two of them trawling the streets for something Alec could wear.
"You know, Izzy would be better at this," Jace mentioned when the second shop they went to didn't have what Alec was after either.
"Izzy would have me dressed up in sequins and you know it. Besides, just because we're talking does not mean I want her to know I'm..."
"Dating?" Jace said. He bumped Alec's shoulder, "It's okay. You can say it. It's not like you're subtle with your moon eyes."
"I don't moon eye," Alec muttered. "And, yeah, I don't want her to know I'm dating someone. She'd just, I don't want her to interfere. Not like I think she will, but, I think I need a few more months before I can trust her like I used to."
Jace hummed, but didn't disagree. They both knew there were different rules when it came to Jace and Alec where Izzy was involved. For some reason, Alec's life needed interfering with.
The hours counted down with Alec growing more and more anxious the longer they were out. Nothing looked right. Nothing. It was alright in the cinema, Magnus didn't know it was a date and Alec had said it so spontaneously that he hadn't had time to freak out. Not like now.
Jace got fed up of Alec around two hours before the date started. Swiping the first non black button up he could find, he dragged Alec back to the Institute and forced him to shower, at least, before putting on some kind of whale sounds video and forcing him to calm down. "He's just a guy," Jace soothed. "He's just a normal guy Alec. Nothing to freak out about. He seems to like you as well, so don't spend the entire date freaking out that you're boring or whatever is going on in your head right now."
"You think I'm boring?"
Jace went wide eyed. "Oh god. Oh no. No you're not. I was just- Alec you're not boring!"
Jace was still hastily trying to calm him down when Alec's phone went off and he literally had to be out the door and walking to Brooklyn. Or, since Jace insisted he hadn't helped Alec polish his boots for nothing, catch a taxi. He started cursing himself for not grabbing the flowers he saw earlier, or buying some kind of gift. That was customary right? He should have done that. But he was already halfway up Magnus's building.
"I didn't bring flowers," rushed out as soon as Magnus opened his door. "I was going to, but then I remembered that cats are allergic to a lot of them and- I'll have some next time." He'd research the crap out of them. He shook his head, "Sorry. You look nice." He did. There was glitter painting his cheeks and a silky shirt showing skin Alec was forcing himself not to fixate on. A lot of those buttons were undone was all Alec was going to say about it.
"You do too," Magnus said, joining Alec in the hall. "And it's fine about the flowers. I actually feel better knowing you were thinking about my cats when you came to your decision. You're very thoughtful."
Alec felt his cheeks warm. "I looked the restaurant up..."
They made it there a couple of minutes before their reservation slot. By then, a lot of Alec's nerves had gone. Jace was right. Magnus was just a guy. He might have something amazing going on, but he was a guy at the end of the day too. One who Alec had been talking to for months now. It was all too easy to fall back on that. To ask about Magnus's clients and whether Chairman had brought anymore dead birds in.
"No birds," Magnus mused, "But a mouse was on my bed this morning. I'm actually afraid to think where he got it from."
"At least he's doing his job."
"Very true," Magnus said.
The food was great. Magnus definitely knew what constituted good food.
"Okay," they were walking back, Alec fiddling with the slip of paper in his pocket. "So, I didn't get you flowers, but I did spend all of Wednesday writing you something. Something better than that god awful cat poem."
"Beloved cat poem," Magnus insisted. "It's the first one I ever heard from you."
"I hate it so much," Alec muttered, grabbing the other out of his pocket, "Here. Please. Just replace it or burn it or something Magnus, I'm begging you."
Magnus grinned and said, "Absolutely not," just like he did the last couple of times Alec had asked as well. He did take the new poem however, stopping under a street light to see it better.
They shine green when he laughs,
Gold when he scolds his cats,
They're brown when we talk,
And black when he sqwarks-
In fright.
There's glitter on his cheeks,
His hair coloured in streaks,
He's a kaleidoscope,
And he makes me hope,
That one day I can shine like him.
"I'm not really all that good with," He was going to say love, but, maybe it was too soon to even be thinking that word. "Poems that aren't to do with how depressed I apparently am. But I think I did okay with this one."
Magnus held the poem close to him, "I love it." He looked at it again before tucking it in his pocket. "And you do shine brightly. I hope you know that." He gently look Alec's hand, twining their fingers together, "You may not dress flashy, but you've always been the brightest person in the room to me. Even when we first met, I think I recall asking your brother why he'd hidden you away from me."
Alec snorted. "Sure you did."
"I did," Magnus insisted. "You should have seen me. I was practically begging your sister for a tour of the Institute just in case you were there."
Alec felt his cheeks heat but he didn't fight Magnus anymore. It wasn't like he hadn't been thinking about excuses these past couple of months to go over Magnus's. Well, he had an actual reason to go over with the potions. But sometimes he knew that he would go over with the excuse of not having to go when he actually ran out of them.
Their hands brushed the closer they got to Magnus's apartment. Alec held on the next time it happened, Magnus squeezing once before they drifted that little bit closer together.
All too soon they were in front of Magnus's door. Usually, Alec would try and stay a while. But the rules had changed now. So Alec kept himself firmly planted outside of Magnus's apartment and thought it best to just get the messy stuff out the way. First however, "I had fun. And I'd like to go out with you again. If you want to."
Magnus tilted his head, "You're so cute. Of course I do."
Alec breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay. Then, yeah, okay. Er, just, before we go any further. Like on another date. You should know, well, you know about the sleepwalking," not that they'd be sleeping together anytime soon. "But er, I have scars. They're ugly things. I'm not that bothered about them. But, just thought you should know. They er, they freak Max out when he sees them."
Magnus squinted, Alec physically seeing Magnus trying to figure out if he'd seen them or not.
"They're on my thighs," Alec murmured.
Magnus's eyes flicked down. "Ah." He shrugged. "I'm sure they're not as bad as you think they are. And your brother is young. Likely it's the idea of something hurting you that freaks him out." Probably. "Besides, it's not like I can talk. You already know about my warlock mark." Magnus indeed had a poem about them in his pocket right now.
"I like your warlock mark," Alec smiled.
Magnus didn't look convinced. "I have another one too. It's not as bad as the," he pointed to his face. "It's just," he lifted his shirt up, Alec's brain short circuiting for a good minute before he noticed what Magnus was talking about. Or, he noticed what was missing. Where Magnus's belly button should be was smooth. Really smooth. Alec kind of wanted to lick it, and then firmly filed that thought away.
The shirt came down, both of them waiting for the other to say something. Eventually Alec said, "I still want to date you. I'd still date you even if you had fifty warlock marks. In the end, they're all just you."
"I feel the same," Magnus promised.
Alec kissed him on the cheek, unsurprised to find something that had to be glitter clinging to them when he stood upright again. "I'll plan something for next time. Make it as surprise for you."
Magnus grinned at him. "I'm looking forward to it."
Alec grinned back, and he may have kind of fell down the stairs when he was smoothly trying to wave goodbye. He wouldn't tell the others that however. Just had gone well. Things were finally looking up for him.