Chapter Text
Enid wakes up to gentle kisses on the back of her neck. She doesn’t even need to open her eyes to know that it’s still dark outside, a testament to how early it is, but then again, this time of year doesn’t necessarily help with that.
She hums quietly and sighs happily, pressing her face further into her pillow, her body cocooned in thick blankets and duvet. Her hand slides her pillow, and she lets herself sink further into the mattress, eyelids heavy and her body still feeling half asleep. Her limbs are sated but she slowly grows more and more alert as the kisses persist, moving down the back of her neck and kissing Enid’s back through the fabric of her t-shirt.
One eye pops open and yup, still dark outside.
Enid groans and rolls onto her side, a sleepy smile crossing her face when an arm immediately circles her waist and pulls her back against her wife’s front. She turns her head a little, knowing Wednesday will take the bait, and gasps quietly when lips quickly attach themselves to the junction between her shoulder and neck.
“What time is it?” She murmurs, eyes drooping but they snap back open when Wednesday’s hand slides over her stomach, cold hands slipping through the small gap between her bottoms and t-shirt.
“7 o’clock, we have time-”
“You say that but…” she trails off and feels Wednesday smile against her neck. Careful hands guide Enid to lie onto her back, and she does so without complaint. Eyes wide open now and she can’t help the giddy smile that erupts across her face at the sight of Wednesday above her. “Hi,” she whispers, reaching a hand up to slide around the back of Wednesday neck, taking much joy in the thick curtain of dark hair that hides the two of them from the outside world. Wednesday only really has it down like this in bed, and Enid’s the only one who ever gets to see it.
“You’re glowing,” Wednesday murmurs, placing a quick kiss on her lips.
Enid rolls her eyes playfully, “you can’t even see me.”
“Bold of you to assume that I need to.”
That little-
Enid pulls her down to kiss her, morning breath be damned, and she feels the tiniest bit of betrayal when Wednesday’s lips meet her own and she tastes like mint. She must’ve already brushed her teeth. Unbelievable.
She makes a soft keening noise into Wednesday’s mouth, whimpering quietly when hands skirt up the side of her ribs, and how Wednesday’s body presses into her own.
“Alright fine, but it has to be quick and quiet-”
A thundering assault of knocks on their bedroom door makes them both jolt and a small voice calls through, “Mamá you promised pancakes.”
Wednesday groans and drops her head, face first, onto the pillow next to Enid’s, she swears quietly to herself in Spanish before lifting it and pressing a quick kiss to Enid’s cheek.
“I’ll be down in a minute mija, why don’t you go and get dressed first?” Her tone is by no means enthusiastic and it’s not the stereotypical motherly or parental tone that most adults would adopt when speaking to a young child. In fact, Wednesday did little to change her behavior around their daughter, she was still as straight faced as ever, she scowled more than she smiled, and she hissed back at cats on the street.
But there’s always been a warmth to her. She loved fiercely, an Addams family curse she called it.
“Ok!” Small footsteps retreat to her room and Wednesday sighs, tipping her head down to rest it against Enid’s.
“We can still return her.”
Enid gasps and smacks Wednesday’s side in mock anger.
“Wends, she’s not an amazon parcel, she’s a tiny human that I carried inside of me for nine months.”
Her wife blows air out her nose in frustration, amusement twinkling in her eyes and she presses a firm kiss to Enid’s lips. “You know I’m joking, I would do anything for her, and you,” she presses another kiss to the tip of her nose this time, before pulling back the covers and carefully extracting herself from Enid. She hisses at the loss of warmth and claws at the covers, pulling them back up to her chin and watches as Wednesday grabs a hair tie from their side table, and ties it back into a bun. “I’ll go and get her sorted whilst you shower.”
“You saying I smell bad Addams?”
“Rancid,” she throws over her shoulder as she strolls out the room and Enid sighs in contentment, smiling faintly at the sound of their daughter singing quietly to herself in the room a few doors down as she gets ready for school.
She rolls onto her side, eyes drooping once more, when her gaze falls upon her alarm clock.
“Fuck.”
xXx
“Mommy!” Artemis waves a fork in her direction as Enid eventually strolls into the kitchen, running her fingers through slightly damp hair. Enid winces as strings of syrup hang from the fork as it’s waved around.
But she gasps happily and smiles, placing a flurry of kisses on top of her daughter’s head. Hair thick and dark like Wednesday’s but cut shorter like Enid’s. She’s a spitting image of Wednesday, with her hair, freckles, cheekbones, skin tone. But she has Enid’s eyes.
And her chirpy personality.
“Are they good?” She asks, fixing the slightly squint pigtails on her daughters head. She begins to answer, attempting to speak through a mouthful of pancakes, strawberries and syrup. “Artemis Addams don’t speak with your mouth full.”
“Y’do it,” she retorts, clumsily sticking her fork in another strawberry.
“Do not.”
“You definitely do,” Wednesday calls from her spot by the stove and Enid exaggeratedly gasps, making Artemis erupt into laughter. She tells her quietly to finish her breakfast as she makes her way over to her wife. Enid wraps her arms around Wednesday’s waist, pressing her front to her back and resting her chin over her shoulder. Wednesday responds by turning and kissing her cheek without a second thought, then turns back to the frying pan before her.
“Yours will be done in a moment,” Wednesday murmurs and Enid presses a kiss to her neck, whispering her thanks then in the fabric of Wednesdays sweatshirt. A sweatshirt that many years ago belonged to Enid.
Wednesday works seamlessly around her, flipping and serving the pancakes despite Enid being attached to her back like a koala.
“You’re not very codependent, are you?”
Enid pinches her side gently, “listen you put a ring on it, so don’t complain.”
Her pancakes are loaded with even more maple syrup than Artemis’ and the coffee Wednesday makes her is a little stronger than what she’d usually make for herself, and she knows that Wednesday put less sugar in on purpose. Wednesday doesn’t indulge in the pancakes, she does steal a strawberry from Enid’s plate though, before scooping Artemis up and out of her chair, determined to get her shoes tied in plenty of time before they need to leave. It’s a lengthy process sometimes.
Yawning into her elbow, Enid loads the dishwasher and grabs her water bottle, making her way into the foyer and grabbing her fleece for work.
Artemis strategically stomps her boots on the floor, for no reason whatsoever, whilst Wednesday watches unimpressed.
“You have no rhythm.”
“Them, rhy-them,” Artemis murmurs, continuing to stomp her feet and Wednesday sighs.
“Enid, she lacks rhythm, I’m afraid she won’t take after myself musically, unfortunately its looking like she might take after you.”
She squawks in offense, slinging her daughter’s schoolbag over her shoulder and fixing Wednesday with a dirty look. She receives a smirk in response, and she bites her tongue, aware of the very small human standing right next to her. With her nod of approval, Artemis reaches up to twist the door handle, yanking it open and stepping out onto the porch.
Enid moves to follow her, when slim fingers wrap around her wrist and hold her back a little.
Wednesday doesn’t look at her, but she does tilt her head up slightly, an expectant look in her eyes and Enid smiles and presses a quick kiss to her cheek.
“I’ll see you tonight,” she murmurs, taking quiet delight in the way loose strands of hair fall to frame Wednesday’s face and the rest of it is pulled messily behind her in the bun. How small she looks in Enid’s already too big sweater, the sleeves pulled over her hands. “You’re still good for pick up?”
Wednesday nods, her thumb tracing shapes on Enid’s wrist.
“As long as Tracy doesn’t talk to me about joining the pta, all will be fine,” she says through gritted teeth and Enid laughs gently.
“She just wants you to be involved more with the school-”
“She won’t like when I’m involved with a knife and her throat.”
Enid presses another kiss to her cheek and moves away, wiggling a finger in Wednesday’s direction warningly.
“No killing my other mom friends, and no threatening people in front of our child.”
“It builds character.”
Enid takes Artemis’ small hand in her own and they walk down the steps, Artemis hopping down each one with great enthusiasm. Like she doesn’t do this every morning.
“Ok, you say that to the headmaster when she bites a kid one day.”
“I’m waiting longingly for the call.”
xXx
Enid spent most of her day watching over this conservation project at one of the national parks. Making sure nobody was disturbing the project leaders and making sure everything went to plan. It was essentially one of those projects with those little bird houses, insect hotels, stuff like that for local wildlife. Which is super cute, and she definitely squealed in excitement when she saw the adorable little houses.
She also got to wear a headtorch which was sick and gave a squirrel a peanut.
So, all in all, a good day.
She makes sure to swing by the supermarket on her way home for candy. They’d already picked their pumpkins from a nearby pumpkin patch at this cute farm which is owned by Ajax’s current girlfriend. Enid has the suspicion that pumpkins aren’t the only thing she grows on the farm, however.
It was actually picking pumpkins up from the supermarket years ago, which spurred the conversation about children forward. Enid had been elbows deep in a crate, searching for the perfect one, whilst her wife stood behind her minding the trolley. Eventually, Enid did emerge, and she did indeed find the perfect pumpkin. But when she turned around to show Wednesday, the other woman had an odd look on her face.
“Wends?” Enid prompts gently, “you alright?”
Wednesday takes the pumpkin from her hands and places it in the trolley.
“Let’s have a baby.”
Enid almost choked on her own spit, her eyes bulged out her head and her heart genuinely stopped for a few seconds, before her body suddenly kickstarted and she was all too aware of everything all at once.
“I-what, are you serious?” They had spoken about it. Of course they had. Like any responsible couple heading towards marriage, they had discussed it. Enid didn’t mind, she liked the idea of motherhood, but she could live without it, and she told Wednesday that. The other woman had simply nodded before ravaging her on their couch. “What the fuck made you think of that?”
Wednesday points a bony finger behind Enid and Enid instantly lowers it but turns and squints.
“The child dressed as a medieval executioner, its…cute.”
“Babe she’s dressed as Batman.”
“I have no idea who that is, but my point still stands.”
Enid’s heart catches in her throat as she stands in the middle of fucking Walmart, discussing parenthood with her wife.
“Really? Because Wednesday Addams this is not something you can joke about-”
Gentle hands cup her cheeks and pull her down, her forehead pressed against Wednesday’s own and the other woman gently rubs her nose against Enid’s.
“I want to have your children, I want to hear your laugh replicated by a smaller version of you because it is the most wonderful thing I have ever heard,” she murmurs, voice thick with devotion. “I would kill for you cara mia, I would give you the world or set it alight for you. Let me give you this too.”
“I can’t believe you’re telling me this in Walmart,” she sniffles, pressing her lips to Wednesdays in a messy kiss. “Ok yeah, yeah fuck, lets have a baby,” she laughs weakly and feels Wednesday smile against her lips.
But their moment was quickly interrupted by a random voice behind them asking them to move out of the way, so that they could get a pumpkin. The look Wednesday shot them was so nasty that Enid got goosebumps from it.
The name Artemis took some time though to decide on. Their friends spent an insane amount of time trying to slip in their own ideas for names. Almost any time Enid and Yoko were in a car together, after the confirmation that they were having a girl and leading up to the birth, Yoko played a suspicious amount of John Lennon.
John Lennon who was married to Yoko Ono.
Unbelievable.
She didn’t get a child named after her, but Yoko was named godmother. Eugene was named godfather and Enid almost immediately regretted the decision when he began talking about teaching Artemis how to be a beekeeper. But Wednesday had a twinkle in her eyes and assured Enid that Artemis had the “Addams genes.” What those genes are, Enid’s not sure. Invincibility? Possibly. Insane luck? Perhaps. Extravagant and exaggerated displays of affection? Absolutely.
Gomez and Morticia had their own input for the name, enthusiastic but not pressuring or pushy by any means. One of the biggest differences between them and Enid’s parents. Her parents had only met Artemis once, because Enid felt that they had to, not that her mother was very interested. But at the end of the day, it was in the Weathervane of all places where Wednesday had whispered into her ear, low and sure. “Artemis, the moon goddess,” her fingers drew patterns on Enid’s palm as she spoke. “Because I fell in love with you under the moon cara mia.”
Enid steps through the front door and stomps her boots on the welcome mat, tugging off her beanie and shaking her short hair around in a way that Wednesday would affectionately compare to a “mutt.”
“I’m home,” she hollers, making her way into the kitchen and frowning at the dish in the oven and the pots and pans in the sink, but nobody accompanying it. Enid swallows to try and get rid of her rough and dry throat, taking a deep breath and re-enters the hall. “Guys?”
Little feet speed down the stairs and Enid rushes forward to make sure she doesn’t fall, but Artemis leaps into her arms, speaking a million miles per hour and giving Enid the rundown of her day at school. She presses a kiss to her damp hair and raises an eyebrow at Wednesday who descends the stairs behind her, at a much slower pace.
“Bathtime before dinner?” She says quietly over the top of Artemis’ head and Wednesday offers her a hidden smile, as she brushes past on her way to the kitchen. Fingerpainting, she mouths back and Enid immediately grimaces. More nights than she can count, she has spent knelt next to the bathtub, trying to wash the paint away from under Artemis’s nails, trying to scrub it off her skin as gently as possible. Of course, they almost always got distracted by the bubbles though.
Enid clips Artemis’s plastic bib on, they found out quite quickly that she took after her mom. Enid is too, a messy eater.
“What is for dinner?” She murmurs into the side of Wednesday’s neck, pressing a gentle kiss there and then stepping back to allow her wife to carefully remove the dish from the oven.
“Pastitsio.”
“I love you,” she shoots back almost instantly, her smile widening when she sees Wednesday’s affectionate eyeroll.
Dinner is a quiet affair, like it always it. Artemis chatters about her day, Enid responds enthusiastically and with her own questions, whilst Wednesday’s lips curl upward and she hums thoughtfully. Her thumb often reaching over to wipe any droplets of food off of Artemis’s chin. At one point, like always, Enid will catch Wednesday’s gaze and smile over the top of her glass, their feet gently kicking at each other under the table. When they tidy up, Wednesday’s old, grand Italian opera music will play and she’ll swing their daughter up in her arms and sway her around the kitchen dramatically, commenting on the music and vocal talents of the musician.
Artemis will roar with laughter like it’s the funniest thing she’s ever seen and Enid will giggle, whilst keeping an eye on the silvery fox in their garden, as she does the dishes. Wednesday will curse Enid for plaguing their daughter’s music taste with artists like Taylor Swift.
Enid always carries her upstairs, and tuck her in. Wednesday usually reads to her, but when she’s away for work, Enid does it and does the voices much better than her (Artemis whispered it to her one night in what felt like a very serious and regretful confession.) Wednesday always kisses her on the forehead and Enid will kiss everywhere else on her face, each receiving a drowsy goodnight, before they shut the purple door.
Then, like clockwork Wednesday’s hands will find Enid’s hips and push her back into their room, chasing the giggle on Enid’s lips and holding her close.
And they’ll lie, basking in each other’s warmth, still a little in disbelief that they can, and begin to doze off.
“You’re working tomorrow night, right?” Enid whispers into Wednesday’s collar, her voice scratchy and sleepy. She receives a hum of confirmation. “So, you won’t see Artemis for bedtime, which means you should join me for drop off tomorrow morning.”
“Enid I would rather harvest my own organs.”
“They’re just PTA moms Wends.”
“Sandra tried to make me an Avon ambassador this afternoon Enid, I don’t even know what that means.”
xXx
They’re not a stereotypical family.
Enid knows that. They’re lesbian moms with a child that was magically formed through love, science (and witchcraft), living in a small town in Vermont, one is a werewolf, and the other is a demonologist and paranormal expert. Their house, up until eight years ago, used to be ruthlessly haunted, now a single fox prances around the garden from sunset to sunrise.
It makes it difficult to bond with the other parents at school, and Enid tries desperately to not give them another reason to be distrusting of herself and Wednesday. But when Wednesday glares daggers at any parent that tries to approach, it makes it hard.
“So are you guys doing much for Halloween?” Cristine asks over the top of her thermos. Chin buried in her thick cashmere scarf and her hat almost connects with the top of it, with how tight its pulled down over her head.
She looks like the epitome of Christian girl autumn.
“Just taking Artemis trick or treating, then on November the first we’re heading over to Wednesday’s parents place to celebrate Día de Muertos,” Enid replies chirpily, bumping Wednesday’s shoulder with her own, receiving a bored look in return.
Cristine scrunches her nose and thinks deeply for a moment, “but this ain’t Mexico?”
Oh dear god.
Wednesday decides to now join in, “and we’re not in Bethlehem but I’m sure you’ll enjoy celebrating Christmas this year, right? Also, your holiday originated in Paganism, not-”
“Okayyy,” Enid laughs nervously, pulling at Wednesday’s elbow, yanking her back before she launched herself at Cristine in public. And in front of impressionably young children. “Its part of Wednesday’s heritage, many of her family is Mexican,” Enid plasters on a smile and explains patiently, trying not to roll her eyes at Cristine’s confused look.
“Oh alright,” she says slowly and nods, tapping Enid’s arm, “well honey if you need a break from all that, loads of the moms will be at a meeting here that afternoon.” She laughs and its shrill and she can hear Wednesday clench her jaw. A wave goodbye, and she saunters off back towards her group of friends.
Wednesday leans back against the car and stares at Cristine’s back.
“You said the other parents weren't too bad,” she says accusingly and Enid winces.
“Well to be fair Cristine has a Trump bumper sticker, so there wasn’t much hope there, ok?”
A loud, familiar yell catches both of their attention and they look towards the school entrance where Artemis waves wildly at them, bidding her farewell. Enid beams and waves back just as enthusiastically, Wednesday’s lips curve as she raises a hand too. Artemis slips inside and Enid’s smile falters a little.
She turns to look at the side of Wednesday’s face. To the jaw that could cut glass, and the gentle slope of her nose.
“You’ll be careful, right?”
Wednesday gives her look and tangles her fingers with Enid’s.
“Mi amor, I don’t know if I should be insulted or flattered that you ask me this after so many years,” Wednesday murmurs into the space between them, her eyebrows quirked curiously and her thumb tracing a familiar pattern onto the back of Enid’s hand. “I’ll be fine, they’re dead. What’s the worst they could do?”
Enid scoffs, “oh I dunno, possess you, attack you, curse our entire bloodline-”
“Why must you list my favorite pastimes? Do you intend to tease me Sinclair,” her bangs tickle Enid’s forehead as she moves closer. Her voice husky and Enid scowls, biting back a smile and nudges her purposely.
“I’m being serious.”
“As am I,” Wednesday stresses gently in a somewhat exasperated tone, because they’ve had this conversation before. They’ve had it more times than Enid can remember, even before they started dating. Because she worries, and that’s not a bad thing! “It’s a simple extraction, a whiney ghoul in the cellar and a couple of wisps around the property.”
“In fact, I’ll probably be home before you’re in bed.”
She wasn’t.
Artemis’s eyes are drowsy and heavy lidded, valiantly fighting off the temptation of sleep as she fought to stay awake to try and stay up for Wednesday’s return. Enid’s already read two stories and given her warm milk, she’s worried that if she manages to stay up any longer, it’ll be a nightmare waking her up in the morning for school.
“She’ll be here when you wake up.”
A little hand, clenched around the fabric of her sleeve, tugs weakly in protest. “I want her now.” There’s a full pout painted on her face now and Enid frowns, adjusting her position on the end of the bed and moves a little closer.
It’s not the first time Wednesdays worked late.
So why is Artemis acting like it is?
“C’mon, what’s up?” Enid whispers, gently tickling under her daughter’s chin and smiling when she receives a giggle. “You can tell me, I’m the best at keeping secrets,” she whispers conspiratorially, and watches as sleepy brown eyes narrow and tiny eyebrows pinch together.
“What if she’s gone?”
Enid’s smile falls and she tilts her head, “what do you mean baby?”
“What if she left,” Artemis stresses, “Mathew Clayton said that it was weird I have two mommy’s and that I should have a daddy. He said it’s silly.”
Oh.
“And does Mathew have a mommy and daddy?”
“Yeah.”
“Ok so,” Enid sighs and leans down a little, her index finger gently brushing the hair out of Artemis’s face. “You’ve got two mommies, some people have two daddies, some have one of each. Some only have a mommy, some only have a daddy, and some have neither. But there’s no wrong one, ok?” Artemis nods slowly and Enid bends down to kiss her forehead. “Your Mamá loves you very much ok, and she’s not going anywhere because we both want to take care of you, ok? That won’t change.”
Artemis blinks slowly and Enid’s not sure that she’ll see those wide hazel eyes again until the morning, but she opens them, barely, and nods. Holding up her little hand and stretching out a finger in a practice that Enid taught her.
“Promise?”
Their pinkies wrap around each other, and Enid moves their joint hands up and down in a handshake like fashion, enjoying the way Artemis giggles drowsily at the sight. She tucks her in, makes sure the blanket is pulled up to her chin and the appropriate stuffed animals are in their designated spots. There’s a lot of them, enough to rival Enid’s own collection. She presses her lips to Artemis’s head once more and whispers her goodnights, flicking the nightlight on and tiptoeing out the room.
She hears snoring before she even steps into the hall.
The somewhat passive aggressive reminder to firmly speak with Mathew Claytons mom, is entered into her phone as she does her skincare before bed. Enid finds herself constantly checking, tapping the screen to see if there had been any update from Wednesday.
Nothing.
Its not unusual, as her wife is an unusual being. Wednesday’s endeavors took her far and wide, often containing details that Enid knows better than to ask about. She doesn’t often provide updates whilst on a job, Enid rarely asks for them. She worries but she’s also well aware of her wife’s capabilities.
So, she holds off a little, waiting before getting into bed, but eventually the clock hits a certain hour and Enid’s head simultaneously hits the pillow.
It’s the gentle running of water that wakes her up. Her ears perk up at the sound and she wills her breathing to remain the same, under the guise that she’s still asleep. It’s coming from the bathroom attached to her bedroom, only a couple of feet away, likely from the sink as well. Then, the door handle turns, and almost silent footsteps pad out.
They walk past her, towards the wardrobe and Enid rolls out of bed, switching on her side lamp and whirring around to stare at her.
“Nuh uh, turn around,” she commands, spitting a few strands of hair that were in her mouth and wiping the drool from her cheek with the back of her hand. Wednesday pauses in her movements, hesitating before turning and Enid gasps. “Oh my God Wednesday is that blood?” Crimson red blood splatters across the white collar of her shirt and Enid’s eyes narrow in on her wife’s split lip.
Wednesday stares back blankly, jutting her chin out defensively, daring Enid to make a comment.
She sighs and leans against the bed post, eyeing the headtorch on their dresser.
“Ok, do I need to take you to a hospital, or do I need to grab a shovel?”
Wednesday’s nostrils flare and arousal flashes in her eyes. She steps closer, her hand on the small of Enid’s back, pulling their bodies up against each other. Her other hand cupping Enid’s jaw, thumb pushing gently at her top lip until Enid opens her mouth slightly to let Wednesday’s thumb push against her sharp canines.
“Alas my love, I’m afraid we will not be disposing of any bodies tonight. I fell out a window, humiliating, I know,” she says in a hushed whisper, trying to pull Enid even closer, hand brushing through her messy bedraggled hair. “Though your willingness to creep away with me into the night to bury a body, oh cara mia you light my skin on fire.”
She tilts her head with the intent of capturing Enid’s lips in a passionate kiss, but is stopped by the firm hand pressed flat against her sternum.
Enid fixes her with a firm look, “you really think I’m going to gloss over the fact that you admitted to falling out a window?”
“I do not wish to relive such a mortifying experience, not when my wife is in my arms, and the moon is out and I can taste the seductive tang of blood on my gums,” she husks, and Enid has to suppress an eyeroll at Wednesdays extravagant way of flirting.
She’s her father’s daughter, that’s for sure.
“I get it, near death experiences make you horny-”
“I detest that word and you know it.”
“But, we should check your ribs, what was it, second story window?”
Wednesday doesn’t answer her, instead she firmly fixes her gaze somewhere behind Enid. Her orange and black nails (Halloween themed, of course) grab Wednesday’s chin and turn her head back so that they are face to face. She tucks a few thick strands of hair behind her ears, a product of her grown out fringe. She keeps the braids but instead of the fringe, she has hair framing the side of her face, just reaching her above her chin before it stops.
“Wednesday Addams-”
“Third story window. I fell in a rose bush.”
“Jesus Christ-”
xXx
“Enid I’m still not sure what I am meant to be resembling here.”
Wednesday stretches her arms out at her sides, the sheer, thin mesh sleeves and the form fitting short black dress that stops mid-thigh with the red and black striped tights underneath it.
“I understand you said we were dressing up…but this came out my wardrobe.”
“Perks of you being a goth babe,” Enid presses a kiss to her cheek and looks at them both in the mirror. She’s decked out in a bright yellow rugby shirt with short green sleeves and an orange undershirt, along with baggy cargo shorts and bright running shoes. “Look, we’re Johnny and Mavis!”
Wednesday tucks a short blade into her red Converse high tops and quirks a brow, “am I supposed to know who those people are?”
So uncultured.
“Hotel Transylvania?”
A blank stare.
“We literally watched it with Artemis last week.”
“Any of those animated movies with talking animals and obnoxiously bright lights makes me want to choke on my own tongue,” she clumsily picks up her phone (Enid forced her to buy one a few years ago) and squints at it. “I likely put myself into a meditative state. Apologies.”
She’s about to reply when she hears a tiny knock on their bedroom door, followed by it slowly opening and a little head peeking around it. Artemis enters the room in her bat costume and Enid squeals, grabbing her phone to snap a million different photos of her.
“You look so cute! Doesn’t she Wends?”
Wednesday picks Artemis up and holds her out in the air before her, looking her over.
“You look very fearsome,” she says in her deadpan tone but Artemis beams and giggles when Wednesday pulls her closer and blows a gentle raspberry on her cheek. Little arms wind around her neck and Artemis starts talking about all the candy she’s going to try and get.
Enid gasps happily and takes a photo of them both.
Wednesday pulls a crossbow out from their dresser and Enid shakes her head.
“Nope.”
“But-”
“No.”
“Enid-”
“Nuh uh.”
“Cara mia, those…youths who egged our house the last two years, this is the year I catch them.”
Enid pinched the bridge of her nose and sighs, “ok but not with the crossbow.”
“Does our marriage mean nothing to you?”
“Oh em gee, Thing!” Enid skips towards him, circling around the busy trick or treaters and bends down to high five him.
Wednesday appears behind her, looking far from enthusiastic and looks very unimpressed when she glances down at them. “Thing, when did you get a tattoo? It looks as though it was done by a five year old,” she hesitates and turns her head to look at Artemis, who is quite happily enjoying a piggy back ride, “not you of course.”
Enid sighs like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “Wends, it’s just pen and two, he’s Rhianna’s hand for Halloween. Thing, I love it.”
Her wife stares at them both blanky before taking off towards some houses, “I’m taking Artemis to McLean’s.” And off she does, glaring menacingly at any costumed kids that get in her way, and makes her way up the driveway of the home.
Her attention is drawn back to Thing and his urgent tapping on the sidewalk. His index finger is moving so fast that she worries he may make a hole.
“Thing what-”
He points in the direction of Valerie Kinbott’s large house down the street. She and her husband host a haunted house every year. The kids love it, and Enid drags Wednesday to it every year, much to her dismay. The middle schoolers drenched in fake blood that smells like strawberry jam, and the loud flashes of white light, aren’t scary enough to make Wednesday Addams cower in fear. Instead, every year they went, Wednesday would go home and write a feedback form for the Kinbott family, in hopes they’d take her criticism seriously and put more “effort” into their haunted house.
“What about it?”
Thing taps some more on the ground and nudges Enid’s shoe, as if he were urging her towards it. Enid frowns but slowly moves towards the house anyway, careful not to bump into anyone on her way. She catches the ends of conversations and snippets of words. Hushed tones and stray glances. She turns her head a little, focusing on differentiating the noise and picking up on repeated words.
Surprise, Kinbott is one of them.
“Way too scary man-”
“-realistic.”
“-fucking touched me-”
Enid stops outside of the large house, and looks at the cobwebbed entrance, along with the insane amount of jack o lanterns around it. Screams can be heard from inside, which shouldn’t be unusual for a haunted house, but this is Kinbott’s haunted house. The only person to every scream in there was Xavier, and he was high, so naturally the pig masks and rubber cleavers sent him on a trip.
Mrs Kinbott stands to the side, a fake smile plastered on her face and she pulls at the wrappings of her mummy costume. She catches Enid’s eye and her eyes widen, she shuffles quickly over and offers an exaggerated greeting.
“Enid hi! Having fun?” She looks over her shoulder and frowns, “where’s Wednesday? Is she around, please say she’s around?”
Enid grabs the erratic woman’s wrists to stop her from running away, in hopes to also calm her down.
“Mrs kinbott what’s going on? Too much candy or...?”
The older woman shakes her head and chews her bottom lip, “I seem to require a ghost extraction,” she whispers, glancing around them. “My husband insisted on hiring a real ghost this year, wanted to make the place scarier and I said no, because that’s cheating but then we did it anyway because the Henderson’s are also doing a haunted house this year, even though that’s our thing and I needed ours to be better. But now the ghost has taken things too far and he’s scaring people away and we’ve run out of candy so I’m giving out carrot sticks and it’s all a disaster-”
Enid blinks slowly and holds up a hand, “I’m going to be so honest; I barely caught a word of that. But! I will go and find Wednesday for you ok, I’ll be a few minutes,” she smiles brightly and Kinbott gulps in a deep breath and nods thankfully.
“Ok, be back soon. Please.”
She finds Wednesday with Yoko and Divinia, they’ve got their two year old daughter Divinia dressed as a pumpkin. Wednesday seems to be speaking to her in a monotone voice, telling her the origins of jack o lanterns. Artemis is chatting excitably to her aunts, showing off a heaving bag of candy.
“Babe, you know she isn’t old enough to understand that yet,” Enid says gently, kissing Wednesday’s cheek in greeting and her wife sighs quietly.
“Enid, she deserves to know the backstory of her costume.”
“She’s a pumpkin. And she’s two.”
“You two sicken me,” they both turn to see Yoko giving them a disgusted look, exaggeratedly blanching whilst Divinia rolls her eyes and smacks her arm. “Addams I’m surprised Enid got you to dress up.”
“This came from my wardrobe Tanaka.”
“You make me laugh Addams.”
Wednesday’s about to retort when Enid grabs her elbow gently and begins to guide her away, “trouble at Kinbott’s house, really need your help.” She smiles at her friends and then nods in her daughter’s direction. “Would you guys’ mind watching Artemis, we’ll be like ten minutes.”
“I am not babysitting your kid so you guys can go and make out somewhere-”
Divinia puts a hand on Yoko’s arm and smiles at them, “you guys go, we’ll watch her.”
Enid smiles thankfully at them and tugs Wednesday in the direction of the house, narrowly missing a group of eighth graders and a parent who shoots them a dirty look. She relays as much information as she can remember to Wednesday, who looks somewhat annoyed that she’s having to go into the haunted house again.
Kinbott lets them enter for free and Enid gasps happily when she’s offered some free candy corn for their troubles. Wednesday wordlessly links their hands together and Enid’s stomach flips at the sight of it, letting her wife lead her deeper into the house. She watches as Wednesday doesn’t flinch, moving past statues and cardboard cutouts that jump out randomly, Not blinking once at the sudden puffs of steam or flashing lights.
Then they see him.
Sat on an overturned box, the pale blue figure rakes through an abandoned bag of candy, tipping it out onto the floor and peering at its contents. His makeup is a darker blue and his curly hair, a silvery colour.
“Oh fuck me,” Enid mumbles, taking in the creepy ghost clown, immediately regretting helping Kinbott in the first place.
The clown snaps his head up to look at them, mouth stretching to reveal a row of jagged white teeth. The messy, smeared makeup once around his mouth, exaggerated the sheer size of it. The dark triangles of makeup around his eyes, make them look like bright white beacons. He waves at them and squeezes the red nose on his face.
Wednesday looks him up and down with disinterest.
“What is your business here?”
He seems offended by the statement and looks himself up and down, a hand gesturing to is costume.
“I’m working lady, what does it look like?”
Enid peeks her head around from Wednesday’s shoulder, “Kinbott said you were scaring away kids.”
“Is that not in the job description?”
Wednesday turns her head to give Enid a look that says, he’s not wrong. But Enid shakes her head and pushes the small of her wife’s back. Wednesday sighs and steps closer. “Terrorizing young children probably isn’t what she had in mind.”
Suddenly, the lights all go out and he glows brighter. Standing up and his body seems to elongate so that he’s towering over them. His eyes widen and his jaw drops, wide and loose. Sharp silvery fangs snap at them and his body shifts and morphs with each step. Moving so dizzyingly that Enid has to look away.
“They’re not all young children,” his voice sounds like a blade being scraped across stone. Its rough and echoes through the narrow hallway. Each footstep towards them shakes the ground and when Enid flinches, his jaw unhinges and he lets out a high-pitched laugh, similar to a hyena. His hair bounces and slips around, the wig threatening to fall from his ghostly form. His makeup this close is patchy and bumpy, his lips dry but his eyes maniacal.
Enid feels herself being pushed back by Wednesday and her wife steps forward, meeting the ghost as his unhinged jaw seems to widen even further and he screams. A strong gust of air pushing them back and she watches as Wednesday’s braids fly in the air, but she stays still.
She pulls a small capsule from her pocket, a vial it seems.
The ghost chuckles, his voice now high like helium and ringing in their ears, “that’s rather small isn’t it?”
“Speaking from experience?” Wednesday retorts, tilting her head and taking in his massive form and how he makes himself larger to scare them. “Are you trying to make up for something here?”
He rushes towards her and Wednesday holds the vial out, muttering something under her breath and Enid watches in awe as he’s sucked into it and as Wednesday pops the lid on lazily. A pale hand helps Enid up from where she’d fallen to her knees and she gladly takes it.
“That was so hot,” she breathes out, smiling against Wednesday’s lips.
Her wife kisses her back, long and slow, before pulling away with dark eyes and a heaving chest.
“We should leave, before we find ourselves…distracted.”
“Right, right yup, lets go.”
Kinbott is very grateful when they exit the house, if not a little pale when Wednesday hands her the vial with the miniature blue clown ghost in it. His wails heard from outside the glass. Wednesday turns down any payment, seeing as “at least the house this year didn’t bore me to death.”
And when they return to their friends, Artemis launches herself into Enid’s arms and Enid gives her a big kiss on each plump little cheek. Wednesday watches them gently from behind and wordlessly picks up their daughters sweet bag, nodding to Divinia and Yoko. They go to a few more houses before they call it a night, Artemis’s bag almost as big as she is, and the walk home is quiet. Intimate even. Wednesday brushes the backs of their hands together before linking them once more and she talks in gentle Spanish to Artemis and is patient when their daughter clumsily answers. They round the corner of the street when Artemis, perched on Enid’s shoulders, points and yells.
“Mamá!” She points towards their house and they see some kids knelt in front of it, reaching into their backpacks to pull out a carton of eggs.
Wednesday’s eyes narrow and she reaches into her own pocket and pulls out three eggs.
“Wends when did you-”
And with perfect aim she hits the three of them on their heads and they shriek in surprise. Shoes scuffing the sidewalk as they take of running. Enid feels her heart swell knowing that Wednesday used a non-violent way of getting back at them.
She links arms with Wednesday and yells, “haha you better run! That’s my girlfriend losers.”
“Your wife, Enid.”
“Fuck yeah, my wife, even better.”