Chapter Text
Sterile air, machines beeping, the smell of freshly waxed floors. The hospital was cold and Spock found himself suppressing shivers. Amanda called Jim’s parents as they rode to the hospital, they raced down and ended up meeting them in the emergency room. The doctors and nurses said that no one could enter the room until they found out exactly what was wrong with Jim, so they all were forced into the waiting room.
Sarek and George stood in a corner, talking to each other in hushed voices, most likely explaining the situation at hand. Winona sat in one of the chairs, hunched over with her head in her hands as Amanda rubbed circles in her back, whispering comforts to her. Spock clasped his hands together in his lap so tightly it felt like they were going to break.
Jim was hurt, Jim loved him and he was hurt.
“He’s waking up, but only one person is allowed in for now, we don’t want to overwhelm him after everything, ” A nurse said as she rounded the corner and looked at them over her clipboard.
Spock stood immediately, along with Winona, who raised an eyebrow at him.
“I will see my bondmate now.” Spock said, stepping forward.
“Your what?!” Winona and George both shouted, though George seemed more surprised and Winona more angry.
“Jim and I are bonded, therefore he is my bondmate.” Spock said carefully, though he could tell his tone sounded nervous, even to his own ears.
“And when exactly did this happen?!” Winona yelled pointedly as she bared her teeth and glared at him, but George’s firm hands held her back.
“I will explain, but my son must speak to his bondmate.” Sarek said, coming between Spock and Jim’s parents.
“Fine.” Winona said through clenched teeth.
The nurse led Spock through the barren hallway, the fluorescent lighting blinding and abrasive to his eyes. As they walked, Jim’s presence grew stronger and stronger, filling him with anticipation. They stopped in front of Room 201, a beeping could be heard from the other side of the door: a heart monitor. Something about the strong and consistent beep relieved some of the stress in his chest.
“I’ll give you some time alone, use the call button if anything changes, okay?” The nurse said as she opened the door for him and gave a small smile.
Spock nodded in appreciation and entered the room. Jim was on the bed, his chest gently rising and falling in a slightly rugged pattern.
“Jim.” Spock breathed, crossing the distance between them in three large strides, “How do you feel?”
“You didn’t go back to Vulcan?” Jim asked almost lazily, rubbing his eyes with his hands, “I feel kind of like I got hit by a bus.”
“No, ashayam, I could not depart when you were injured.” Spock felt his lips twitch upwards, “And you were in an accident, much akin to being hit by a bus.”
“Yeah, I remember…kind of. Then I was running to the airport and I saw you and…” Jim suddenly sat bolt upright, “We’re bonded?”
Spock blinked, “Yes, we are bonded.”
“That’s pretty cool.” He shifted uncomfortably,“Are-...are you mad at me?”
“No, Jim, I have no reason for anger. If anything, you should be mad at me, it was not my intention to withhold information about our bonding, I believed you to know.” The guilt of not informing him of the bond resurfaced, making his stomach turn again.
“It’s okay. I probably should have spent more time reading the material you sent me. But… when did it happen? Our bonding?”
“When we were at the lake, you took my hand, which is one of the most sensitive and telepathically receptive parts of a vulcan's body. Our minds were incredibly compatible and… Jim, we are T’hy’la.” Spock blushed at the admission.
“The lake? What lake….” He looked lost in thought for a moment and then the heart rate monitor picked up. “Oh my gods Spock that was ages ago! That long?!”
Spock cleared his throat, “Yes, I was unaware initially that the bond had formed, but I am sure it is present. It is not a complete bond, of course, but it is stronger than most.”
“Cause it’s a thu-lie-a bond?”
“T’hy’la,” Spock corrected, “There is not an equivalent translation into standard, but it can be best summarized as a bond shared between two people who are friends, brothers, and lovers.”
“So we're like vulcan soulmates?”
“That would be an accurate description, yes.”
“And because of that, you can feel like my thoughts and emotions?” Jim paused, looking up at Spock in confusion,“Why can’t I feel yours?”
“I have been shielding myself, though some of your thoughts and feelings have made their way through, if they were strong enough. I was previously under the assumption that you were projecting emotions… you have not felt any emotion of mine? My telepathic skills are adequate to prevent my thoughts from being readable, however the strength of our bond should have meant that some feelings should have slipped through.”
“Maybe you’re just better at shielding than you thought, or you do it without thinking, like a reflex sort of thing?”
“It is possible,” Spock stared at Jim’s face for a moment, thinking, before an idea came to mind, “Humans are a psi-null species. It is possible you have received emotions through the bond and mistaken them for your own.”
“Try it then, I’ll see if I can sense it.” Jim put his fingers to his temples and squinted, like an old cartoon psychic.
“I will project an emotion, however, I do not believe the placement of your hands will affect the result of our experiment.” Spock allowed his lips to flicker upwards in amusement.
Spock closed his eyes, focusing into his mind. He searched for their bond in his mindscape, a golden thread, thin yet strong. Reaching down, he gently laid his hand on it and began to project the opposite of how they both were feeling: sadness.
“I don’t think it’s working.” Jim looked up at him, the expression of a kicked puppy on his bruised face.
“How do you feel right now?”
“Sad. I really wanted it to work both ways.”
“Jim,” He allowed a bigger smile, “I have sent you the sadness, that is my emotion, not yours.”
“Really?” Jim smiled too, then he blinked pointedly, eyebrows furrowing, “But… they don’t feel any different than mine?”
“Our bond is…unique in composition. It is not a full bond, that would require a healer on Vulcan, however the foundation is stronger than all other bonds. You have never been trained to differentiate emotions from other people nor have you had experience with a bond before, therefore it makes sense that you thought that my emotions were your own. I will project another, but this time, see if you can sense a different quality to it, something that is distinctly… me.”
Again, Spock traveled to his mindscape, finding the bond. This time it had a gentle yellow glow, like the first lights as the sun rose. He sent love to Jim, the feelings he had been growing since the two met.
“Well now that you told me I can kind of tell the difference.”
“With practice, you will be able to differentiate between my and your emotions and thoughts. Additionally, you will be able to intentionally project them.”
All at once, an overwhelming feeling of affection, admiration, and love filled him, full and warm and kind. He blinked his eyes, dispelling the tears that welled up from the sheer force of the emotion. Jim felt this for him, and he wanted him to know it. Spock hesitated a moment, before lying his hand atop Jim’s, both of them smiling gently at one another.
They continued to discuss everything, from their relationship to their plans for the future, agreeing to continue their romantic relationship. Eventually, Spock told Jim he had to go back to his home planet to tell the Vulcan Science Academy in person of his refusal, but he assured him that he would make good on his promise to begin Starfleet together. His T’hy’la was understanding, telling him to ‘do what he had to’ with a sad smile.
Spock reached out and cupped Jim’s face, and that sad smile turned to one that was gentler, sweeter. He leaned down and connected their lips, their bond lighting up with affection, though they both now knew it was their own and each other’s. The kiss was soft, promising, with unspoken words that they would wait for one another.
“I will return for you, ashayam.” Spock whispered against Jim’s lips as they pulled apart from the kiss, their faces still so close that their lips brushed from the words.
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The flight from Riverside to San Francisco was short, but Jim’s own excitement and nervousness made every minute of it drag on. He spent the better half of it bouncing his leg anxiously and switching between checking his messages and looking out the window, waiting for the city to appear.
As the plane closed in on the airport and began its descent, a not quite yet familiar but still comforting presence grew somewhere in the back of his mind. Delighted, Jim closed his eyes, focusing on the feeling and trying to picture their bond like Spock had taught him.
While he hadn’t consciously felt its existence before the incident at the hospital, its nonexistence was distinctly more noticeable to him when Spock had returned to Vulcan, and the first few days without it required some adjustment. Spock reassured him that the feeling was normal- and mutual- but it still perplexed Jim. It was strange, missing a connection he hadn’t even been aware of.
He still didn’t fully understand the intricacies of their specific type of bond- T’hy’la?- so he did his best to focus on it and project as much excitement and affection as he could muster through it. Hopefully Spock got the message.
Once the pilot announced their landing and the seatbelt light turned off, Jim was the first to hop up and squeeze his way through the row. He pulled his bags out of the overhead compartment and very calmly made his way to the exit, arriving before any of the other passengers.
“Excited, are we?” The flight attendant standing by the exit smiled as he approached.
“Yeah.” Jim chuckled, pulling one of his bags closer to his side as it knocked against the wall. “My boyfriend is waiting for me!”
“Lucky boy, better not keep him waiting.” The woman laughed as the terminal door opened and Jim quickly stepped through.
Obviously, the two of them had remained in contact when Spock returned to Vulcan. Jim was quick to replace his communicator and they called nearly every day, just before Jim went to bed which coincidentally was close to the time Spock woke up. Although he didn’t fully approve his son’s choice to turn down the VSA, Ambassador Sarek had graciously allowed Spock use of an apartment he had near the academy and Spock in turn had asked Jim to stay with him for the semester.
So much for taking things slow. Although he supposed once you were soulmate bonded that didn’t really matter anymore.
Exiting the terminal and making his way towards the baggage claim, Jim looked around excitedly, trying to spot the vulcan. He pouted, unable to pick the man out of the crowd, and instead closed his eyes and focused back on their bond again. He wasn’t skilled enough yet to use it to locate his boyfriend, but Jim was sure that Spock was and tried to mentally announce his arrival.
“Jim.” Spock spoke suddenly in front of him, but this time Jim didn’t jump. “I told you I would return for you. Additionally, I feel I should inform you that you think very loudly.”
“Spock!” Jim’s eyes flew open and he grabbed the vulcan excitedly, pulling him into a kiss. The bond thrummed in delight in response and Jim smiled, pulling away just enough to speak. “I missed you.”
“And I you, ashayam. You have been utilizing the bond well.” The corners of Spock’s mouth twitched upward slightly.
“You noticed.” Jim beamed. Their hands brushed against each other and Jim gently pressed his fingers to Spock’s before grabbing the vulcan’s wrist and leading him to the conveyor belt that held the passenger’s bags. “Could you feel me on the plane?”
“I could.” His lips twitched upwards. “Your ability to project emotions is quite strong, you can send emotions in a smaller way, simply imaging our bond and thinking of how you feel. I will know.”
“Like this?” Jim watched the conveyor belt, keeping an eye out for the rest of his bags as he followed Spock’s directions. He tried once again to project his affection.
“That is…better. We will continue to practice.”
“Sorry.” Jim smirked, grabbing one of his bags off the belt. He went to reach for the other, but Spock beat him to it, lifting the large suitcase with ease. “Ready to show me your place?”
“It is my father’s, but I am adequately prepared for our departure.”
“I’m surprised he’s letting us use it.” They made their way to the exit, Jim fumbling with his communicator, before he stopped, looking at Spock. “You did tell him I was staying with you, right?”
“Of course, my father was able to see the logic of bondmates occupying the same dwelling.” Spock said simply, not meeting his eyes.
“I’m sure he did.” Jim laughed, holding the door open for Spock.
The drive to their apartment was quick, though Spock had opted for a taxi instead of a rental car, apparently worried about Jim’s driving ability all of the sudden.
The apartment itself was almost exactly what Jim had expected it to be. The decor was minimal and the furniture simple and elegant. The walls were bare and the hardwood floors were in a similar state, minus the doormat and a single rug in the living room. Everything about this apartment screamed logic. Well… almost everything.
Having been in both Spock and his parents’ hotel room several times, Jim had a feel for the ideal temperature vulcan’s liked but this apartment was a few degrees cooler. The sleek, black couch held a few throw pillows and a flannel patterned blanket that he was sure Sarek had not picked out and the coffee table held a single small candle lit in the center of it. The kitchen was near spotless, minus a single, clean glass placed very purposefully in the center of the sink. He nearly laughed at the obvious attempt, but it quickly died in his throat as his eyes caught on a thin vase on the counter holding a single rose.
When Jim turned to look back at the vulcan, he smiled, holding up two fingers in offering.
“I had hoped to make the apartment fit both our needs.” Spock pressed his fingers up against Jim’s, though Jim swore he could hear a hint of shyness or uncertainty in his voice.
“You did a great job.” Jim grinned, pulling his hand away and readjusting the bag over his shoulder. “Wanna show me where to put these?”
Spock led him through a small side hallway, past two other doors before coming to a stop at the end. He opened the door, revealing a large master bedroom.
“Master bedroom, huh?” Dropping his bags on the floor, Jim sat on the end of the bed, smirking as he leaned back on his hands. “A bit presumptuous, are we?”
“If you do not want to share quarters,” Spock swallowed, his shoulders rising slightly and a tight line coming across his face. “I apologize, I had assumed-“
“Baby, I’m kidding…” Jim jumped up, crossing the distance between them and cupping Spock’s cheek. “Of course I want that, I’ve been waiting to get my hands on you since you left for Vulcan.”
“I have much awaited this moment as well.” Spock whispered before his lips pressed against Jim’s.
Jim’s hands settled on his waist as he spun them around, leading them back towards the bed. He pushed Spock playfully, the vulcan humoring him and falling back onto the bed. He pulled his shirt off, throwing it to the side, and Spock quickly followed suit, eyes trained on Jim’s chest as he flexed self-consciously.
A thrum of eagerness and excitement echoed through their bond and any tension or timidness that had existed between them was gone as quickly as it came. Chuckling, Jim climbed up over his bondmate and kissed him again fervently.
Spock’s hand trailed down Jim’s chest then around his sides before settling on his waistband. They stripped the rest of their clothes off with relative ease, bodies flush together as Spock wrapped his legs around Jim’s hips.
“T’hy’la.” Spock moaned, breaking their kiss and rocking up against him as Jim pushed one of his hands into the mattress, tracing up the vulcan’s palm and the length of his fingers with his own. Spock’s free hand came up to cup Jim’s face, fingers pressing gently at the sides of his temple. “Jim?”
“Do it.” Jim gasped, tilting his head into the press of Spock’s fingers as he rolled his hips.
“My mind to your mind, my thoughts to your thoughts.”
After, they laid together, facing one another, their breath mingling and their minds still gently buzzing. Jim smiled at Spock, admiring the soft green blush across his cheeks.
“Hey.” Jim whispered, causing Spock to raise an eyebrow.
“Hello.”
Jim chuckled, giddy from being together, enjoying the content they both shared through their bond. He reached out and tucked a strand of Spock hair behind his ear, letting his hand linger there.
“I love you.”
“And I cherish thee.”