Chapter Text
"I'm too old for this merchandising shit, Robert," Chase complained, but obligingly stood still.
Robert smiled and checked the scanner's alignment. "So you're afraid of a little 3D scan?"
The speedster scoffed. "No, fucker, I've done this shit before. But what kid wants a flying old fart toy? 'Specially when Mandy's getting her medallion back soon."
"Didn't expect you to be insecure about this. Say 'cheese.'"
Robert started the scan. All Chase needed to do was to stand still for thirty seconds.
Gone were the days that full body hero scans took forever. Robert remembered when almost every member of the Brave Brigade bitched and moaned about merchandising days where they'd have to stand still for an hour or more, getting photographed and imaged from all sides. It depended on the machine that day.
"Cheese, motherfucker," Chase said as soon as the machine chimed. "But, seriously what's this about?"
"We makin' a Christmas miracle," Royd interjected from across the lab. "Scan lookin' good. We good to go!"
"The fuck's going on here? So, you dragged my ass down here before I had coffee for a personal project." Despite the swearing, Robert could tell that Chase was curious.
"Remember Flambae's niece from when she visited a couple of months ago?"
"Ava, right? Cute kid. What's this got to do with her?" Chase gave him a questioning look, the kind that expected a bad idea to come out of Robert's mouth.
"Everything actually. Flambae asked me if I had a way of getting a Mecha Man toy for her," he began explaining.
"And you couldn't because of the fucking merchandising rights bullshit," Chase groaned. He knew Robert's situation a little too well.
"Yeah. So, we're doing the next best thing. Making our own." He gestured at the Mech torso and legs on his work station. "Just need to sand and paint and add some lights, and it'll be ready."
"Guess that makes you Santa's elf, huh? Still doesn't explain why the fuck you need me down here," Chase astutely swore.
"We gotta get da kid da complete set. All da aunties and uncles." Royd turned his screen around for Chase to see. The Samoan genius had already converted the scan into a printable file.
"Considering we're making her a toy, might as well as well make a whole team of them," Robert added. "Besides, I remember being that age and not being able to get an action figure of my favorite hero 'cause he was a rookie."
A genuine, broad smile spread across Chase's face. "Then what are we waiting for? Let's get the rest of those fuckers down here, and Beef. He's the most important Z-Team member 'round here."
"We'll get them down here eventually. Flambae is last, though. Let's keep this a Christmas surprise."
Chase's grin turned mischivious. "Well then, call me a motherfuckin' elf, how can I help?"
Robert held up the Mech legs and some sand paper. "We've got sanding to do."
"Why the fuck are we here? Thought we already got Nerdbert a gift?" Invisigal whined, leaning against a plexiglass case full of trading cards.
Flambae rolled his eyes. "This isn't for Bob Bob. This is personal."
After his depressing conversation with Robert, Flambae asked around for recommendations and gotten the name of a few game and collector shops in the area. He'd been planning on heading to the closest one once break hit, but when he and Visi were assigned a mission nearby, Flambae saw an opportunity to check on the way back.
Visi was obviously annoyed.
"Like personal as in foreplay prop or are you planning to burn it in effigy?" Somehow, after everything, Visi's raunchy humor remained intact. Still, Flambae was impressed that it remained closer to PG-13.
"When you were a kid was there a toy that you asked for repeatedly but didn't get?" Flambae asked with a smirk. He doubted Visi could resist the question.
Visi tried to sound nonchalant, but he had her interest. "Pfft, yeah, who hasn't?"
"My niece has been asking for that Mecha Man since I joined the Pheonix program," the fiery hero explained, pointing up at the shelf with the toy still sealed in its packaging. Across the clear plastic was a familiar scribble of bad penmanship, somehow Robert had managed to autograph the thing.
"Your niece has good taste," the man behind the counter said. The two heroes hadn't had a quiet conversation, but still it felt surprising for staff to be listening. "I'm so sorry to disappoint you, though, anything on that shelf isn't for sale."
"Why's it in here then?" Visi demanded.
"Display only. It's a part of my personal collection," the man, presumably the owner, responded. "I would have one, except Torrance PD still has it as evidence."
"'Evidence'?" Flambae repeated, shocked. "It's a fucking toy! How is it evidence?"
"Wait ... is this the nerd shop where one of the Mecha Man toys blew up?" Visi asked. "Remember, back when we first got Robert, it was that one day where there were three bomb threats?"
"Who puts bombs in toys? It's a fucking waste of a perfectly good collector’s item," the owner agreed. "Once the trial's over, I'll get the Mecha Man action figures back. If you're still looking for one in, dunno a couple of months maybe, come back. I'll give you the hero's discount."
Flambae let out a deflated sigh. He'd have to admit defeat again. "Thanks. I'll remember that around her birthday."
"Your niece must really want this if you're running around Torrence for a toy of Dad Bod," Visi commented once they were headed back.
"You have no idea. When I was first paroled, she tried to bribe me with her allowance to steal it."
"Whoa. How much did she offer you?"
"Five dollars and seventy-five cents." Flambae laughed. The memory of Ava consistorial pulling him aside during a family dinner and foisting five dollars and change into his hands while begging for the action figure. If his sister hadn't caught them, Flambae would've gone to jail for his niece.
"Visi, Flambae, if you plan on dawdling any longer, you'll miss out on the Christmas cookies Sharon brought in," Robert told them over comms.
"The baked good that I have been informed is called a snickerdoodle is quite delicious, despite it neither snickering or doodling," Phenomaman added. "I shall save you both some, if you'd like."
"Oh, and before I forget, Coop, Punch Up, could you both see me in the lab during lunch break? And before anyone gets their panties in a twist, no one's in trouble, but I'd like to see all of you down there at some point before Christmas. Participation is optional," their dispatcher told them.
"What's this about Bobbie boy?" Punch Up was the first to ask, followed shortly by a wave of questioning voices.
"I would like to know as well," Coop added coolly.
"It'd be easier to explain to each of you individually, until then, consider it a surprise. Have a good break everyone." Robert sounded full of himself as he signed off.
"You know what Bob Bob is talking about?" Flambae asked Visi.
"Your guess is as good as mine, but I intend to find out." A mischievous smirk crossed her face as she sped off.
Flambae rolled his eyes. "You do that."