Chapter Text
[1995]
One second Shauna was pressed against the dresser, her mouth on Ryan’s and his hands kneading on her ass. It wasn’t amazing, but she was decently buzzed on Randy’s stash and Van’s cheap beer, and Ryan’ hazel eyes brought her right back to the zone every time she thought about going back to the party.
The other second, they were five feet apart and she was panting, her heart racing.
“Absolutely fucking not!” Jackie’s voice was even more commanding than when she shouted at the Yellowjackets mid-game. With one hand on the doorhandle, she stared at them for two seconds, her jaw locked, and then simply ordered Ryan to “Get out of here. Now.”
On his defense, Ryan searched for Shauna’s gaze before following Jackie’s order. On her defense, Shauna was too stunted to process whatever was going on so she just nodded him off without saying a word.
The torpor ended when Jackie closed and locked the bedroom door. Shauna took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of her nose and waiting for Jackie’s show to begin. Her head hurt already.
“What the fuck, Shauna?” there it was, the Jackie Taylor special, coming right in to end 1995 with a bang. “What are you doing?”
“Making sure I wasn’t going to be the only one in this party without someone to kiss at midnight,” she snarked, going past Jackie towards the bathroom. “Thanks for ruining my plan, by the way.”
She washed her face, not caring about the make-up Jackie took twenty minutes to put on anymore. What was even the point? She put some effort into fitting in, abandoning her flannel and wearing the dress Jackie and her mom begged her to purchase on black friday, borrowed Jackie’s floral perfume and everything. And it had worked. Ryan eyed her since he got to the party and, for the first time in a long while, Shauna wasn’t making herself wait by the corner until Jackie was up to give her some crumbs of attention.
He wasn’t the most popular boy in school – there was only one of those and Jackie snatched him up in freshman year, already –, but he was on the swimming team and she was pretty sure they had fourth period AP Calc together, so having him as her midnight kiss on New Year's wasn’t the worst idea in the world.
“Your plan?” Jackie leaned on the door frame, her muscled arms crossed. “You planned on hooking up with Ryan Lewis in my guest bedroom?”
Shauna didn’t want to dignify that sentence with an answer, she knew nothing good was coming out of her mouth if she tried to argue her case here, so she didn’t. She was tired of this dynamic, this eternal push and pull between her and Jackie. It wasn’t like she did anything wrong, they were at a New Year's Eve party – Jackie’s first house party, actually –, wanting to kiss someone was natural, expected. Shauna was desperately trying to fit into what everyone around her seemed to do organically, no one in her grade spent every waking minute waiting for their best friend to remember they existed.
People danced and laughed, smoked and drank, played beer pong and strip poker, hooked up – had sex. Meanwhile, Shauna pretended to have fun with the teammates she didn’t hate while staring at Jackie hanging off Jeff’s neck, his hands pawing on her ass in front of everyone like he wanted to make sure people knew who she belong to.
“Can we go back to the party now?”
Jackie didn’t flinch, blocking the way out. “Oh, now you care about the party I spent weeks planning?” she scoffed and Shauna was very proud of herself for not rolling her eyes. Everything would be fine once Jackie finished her little show. “You didn’t seem to care about my party when Ryan fucking Lewis had his tongue down your throat five minutes ago.”
“What’s wrong with Ryan?” she couldn’t help but ask. It didn’t matter how rocky their friendship had gotten lately, Jackie’s opinion still made Shauna’s gears turn. “He’s nice and he’s pretty, and the swimming team made it to states.”
Something the baseball team could never.
Jackie looked sick for a second there. She really did hate seeing Shauna get something she couldn’t have. And the implication Ryan had achieved something Jeff and his buddies on the baseball team couldn’t only made it worse.
“You think he’s pretty?” was what Jackie choose to say, for some reason. “Do you guys- Are you guys a thing or something?”
As if Shauna could ever have a thing with someone without Jackie knowing. She couldn’t even kiss someone at a party without Jackie barging in on them.
“Are you drunk already?” she asked cause Jackie wasn’t making any sense. “Did you smoke Randy’s joint?”
“Oh my God, are you dating him?” Jackie’s voice was hoarse as she watched Shauna go past her back into the bedroom. Shauna fixed her hair and her dress in front of the full body mirror, unable to hold a laugh at Jackie’s question. “What the fuck, Shipman? Why didn’t you-”
She could let Jackie spiral over her non-existent rapport with Ryan, but it was past 11pm when they came looking for some privacy, so countdown should be close and she wanted to find Randy or Nat and just get stoned into 1996.
“What the fuck is wrong with you, Jackie?” She turned to her, ready to get into it if it meant she was getting out of this fucking bedroom. “I just wanted someone to kiss at midnight like everyone in this goddamn party! I was tired of feeling left out and he is pretty and smart, and he went to that Smashing Pumpkins I missed cause you had your tonsils removed, so it seemed like a good idea. Would you rather I’d kissed Randy Walsh instead?”
Jackie stepped into Shauna’s space, her big hazel eyes searching for something in Shauna’s face. “So, you’re not dating him?”
This time Shauna did roll her eyes. “I’m not dating anyone. You know that.”
“Couldn’t you just fucking answer me then?” Jackie mumbled, looking straight into her eyes. “You’re such a fucking brat sometimes, Shipman.”
“Wow, two fucks?” Shauna scoffed, “You blow Jeff with that mouth?”
Ok, yeah. That was low, she knew that. But Jackie was getting on her nerves. Calling Shauna a brat when she couldn’t even phantom her friend having a boyfriend without throwing a tantrum? She deserved to get scolded. She was actively trying to undermine Shauna’s chances of having a nice night out for once, that was not very best-friendly of her, so bringing up something she knew made Jackie a little uncomfortable was a valid reaction.
Jackie has been giving Jeff head at once a week for a couple of months now, so it wasn’t like Shauna was lying. If Jackie felt comfortable enough to suck his cock on a Thursday morning before Shauna picked her up for school, then she shouldn’t act like Shauna talking about it was the worst thing in the world.
She did that a lot, got all closed off when Shauna mentioned anything Jeff, and at first Shauna thought it was because Jackie somehow knew about her feelings and didn’t want to upset her by talking about it. Now, she laughed at that hypothesis. Jackie may had known Shauna liked their make out sessions a little too much, but she would never be so kind as to spare her of hearing about how cool and hot Jeff was, and how he got his fingers down her panties on Lottie’s hot tub last weekend. No, Jackie knew Shauna had a stupid little thing for her and toyed with her heart anyway.
She would say she didn’t like doing stuff with Jeff and paw at Shauna’s breasts on the same breath or complain about Jeff using too much tongue while sucking and licking Shauna’s neck.
Shauna wasn’t stupid, she knew exactly what Jackie was doing and why she was doing it. She could pinpoint a fight with Jeff or her mother, an below average practice cause Nat was too stoned to hit the target or even a project deadline to every time Jackie ended up on her lap, moving against her leg to get just a little bit of friction before falling back on the couch or the bed and acting like nothing had happened. She enjoyed what they did, who wouldn’t enjoy having Jackie Taylor all pent up under them?, but it still didn’t feel right. She felt used and her heart broke a little bit when she remembered she was the other girl – even if Jackie didn’t categorize what they did as something other than best friends experimenting, she still had a boyfriend.
“You’re unbelievable, Shipman.” Jackie said, finally. Her eyes were wet, but she was clearly never letting those tears fall down her perfect face. “I was worried about you and I overreacted. There’s no reason to be such a-”
“Such a what, Jackie?” She arched one eyebrow and crossed her arms again. Jackie just stared, a coward as always when it came time to speak her mind. “C’mon. Call me a bitch.”
“Shut up.” Jackie pressed her lips. “Let’s get back to the party, it’s almost time for the countdown.”
Shauna didn’t know what got into her, but she couldn’t let it go this time around. She always let go, always let Jackie do and say whatever it pleased her. Not this time, not tonight. Not after cockblocking her and acting like Shauna was doing something wrong and almost calling her a bitch.
“No.” This time, she was the one to block the way. She stood by the door, her straight spine helping her tower over the other girl. “We’re only getting out once you call me a bitch like you wanted to.”
“Shipman, get the fuck out of my way.” Jackie greeted her teeth and Shauna shamefully throbbed between her legs. “I have a party to look out for.”
“Don’t call me Shipman,” she did kind of hate getting called by her dad’s last name, but that’s not why she whispered, “call me a bitch.”
Jackie tried moving her body, but it only made her laugh. Which made Jackie mad. Which made Shauna horny- hornier. “Shauna, c’mon. I’m sorry, ok? I ruined your hook up with perfect fucking Ryan and then I acted like a je- a crazy person. Can we go now?”
Wait, wait, wait. This could be good. Oh, this could be so good.
“You acted like what?” Shauna was pretty sure Jackie was about to admit she was jealous and now she needed to hear that. “What were you about to say right now? Finish your sentences, Jax, c’mon.”
She knew what the nickname did to Jackie and she was not above using it for her favor.
“I, uh,” Jackie Taylor was at a lost for words. That was a first. “I was about to say that I acted like a bitch,” Shauna laughed at her audacity, but Jackie just kept going, “that’s it. I was a bitch and I’m sorry.”
“You’re right,” Shauna smirked, “you were kind of a-”
“Don’t call me that,” Jackie interrupted, her scowl bringing the cute little wrinkle between her brows up. “Why would you call me that? I would never call you that, you know I wouldn’t. I was just nervous. And I apologized. Don’t be like that, please.”
“Can you just say it?” She insisted even though Jackie looked genuinely pained now. “You were going to. I’m not going to get mad. I just want you to say what you intended.”
Jackie bit her upper lip, her big hazel eyes focusing on anything but Shauna. “I didn’t mean to, Shauna. I said I was sorry, stop punishing me.”
“Call me a bitch or I’ll call you one.” That was Shauna’s final offer, and it got Jackie’s attention. “You know I’ll do it.”
“Do it, then,” Jackie called her bluff, taking another step into her personal space, “Call me a bitch, Shauna. I dare you.”
Shauna looked her up and down, from the perfectly styled honey gold locks that framed her face, to her hazel eyes and her golden make-up, to her plush lips and the baby blue dress that didn’t leave much to anyone’s imagination. Jackie was using her first house party as a means to an end. She was making a statement.
1996 was going to be her year and she wanted to make sure everyone knew that.
“You’re a-”
She didn’t finish the sentence, thankfully. Not only because she didn’t actually want to call her best friend a bitch, because she wasn’t given a chance to. Jackie jumped her, knocking Shauna on the wall with a thud as her hands reached for her neck and waist.
“Shut up,” Jackie groaned against her lips, her hungry mouth sucking on Shauna’s lower lip and her manicured nails digging into her neck, “Just shut the fuck up for once in your life, ok?”
Shauna was speechless as Jackie kissed her thoroughly, sucking and biting her lips, and using her tongue to sooth the sharp pain her teeth inflicted on Shauna’s mouth. Jackie pressed her onto the door, and Shauna was about to pry her legs open when the other girl pulled out, her eyes dark and her lipstick smeared. She looked at something beyond Shauna for a second and then pushed Shauna towards the dresser, going back to her mouth and jaw and neck with a smile on her face.
“Up?” Shauna suggested, breathless.
Jackie didn’t stop sucking on her neck even as she helped Shauna get up on the dresser. They laughed as the fake artwork and the family portraits propped on the dresser fell to the ground, Jackie’s hands going dangerously up Shauna’s legs. They’d never gone this far; they were never this clumsy. It was always measured; Shauna was always holding herself back – always trying not to scare Jackie off with a sudden moan or an unconscious roll of her hips. Jackie’s moves always seemed a bit calculated, she would kiss with just the right amount of tongue, and her teeth always dug on the perfectly safe spot above Shauna’s clavicle or on her shoulder; and she never put her hands below Shauna’s waistline like she was doing right now.
“Ten minutes, fuckers!” Someone shouted at the other side of the door.
It pained her to do so, but Shauna made herself say “Maybe we should-” at the exact same time Jackie’s fingertips reached her underwear. There was little to no pressure at the touch, but it made her back arch, and it got a stupid moan out of her.
Jackie pulled back, hair mussed from Shauna’s hands and lips swollen from kissing her. They stared at each other for a couple of seconds, Shauna’s heart was thumping at her chest, and her mind was a goner. There was nothing else besides a hungry-looking Jackie right in front of her.
“I don’t care,” Jackie kissed her softly this time, slow and passionate. She pulled Shauna to the edge of the dresser, her hands steady on Shauna’s hips. “Can I-”
“Yes.”
Jackie laughed through her nose. “You don’t even know-”
“I don’t care,” She wound her arms around Jackie’s shoulders, brushing her nose on the side of her face as she whispered on her ear, “The answer is yes.”
“Fuck, Shippy.” Jackie panted, placing a kiss on her shoulder. “Let me just-” And then she pulled Shauna’s panties to the side and touched her. Shauna blacked out, she legitimately couldn’t tell you what happened between that first tentative sweep of fingers through her drenched folds and the moment she came on Jackie’s fingers; her mind wasn’t able to storage that information without coming on the spot all over again.
She knew Jackie never went in. She just circled her clit and toyed at her entrance with two – maybe even three? – fingers. Her mouth kept on sucking on Shauna’s pulse point and her other hand covered Shauna’s mouth to keep her from being louder than the rest of the party.
“Jax, I’m-”
“I know, baby,” Jackie bit her ear, her thumb working with precision between Shauna’s legs. At afar, they heard their friends and colleagues scream and shout. When the countdown began, Jackie’s hand left Shauna’s mouth and her voice reached the brunette’s ear, “Do it on zero, ok?”
And Shauna did. She came on command, her moans muffled by everyone else’s shouts.
“Fuck, Shauna,” Jackie kept working her through it, a satisfied tone to her voice as Shauna’s nails dug on the back of her neck and Shauna’s hips moved against her hand. “Was that good?”
Shauna lay against the wall behind her, pulling Jackie’s hand from between her legs before she caved into her instincts and pushed her best friend’s fingers inside. She closed her eyes and tried to catch her breath, but she knew Jackie was waiting for some kind of validation – as it was always the case with her, she couldn't simply do a good deed, there had to be some kind of agenda.
“It was good, yeah.” She couldn’t give her much praise, couldn’t let Jackie see straight through her. “We should go back to the party, though.”
Jackie paused for a second, looking lost, before smiling and agreeing, “You’re right. I’ll just-” She looked around the bedroom. “I’ll just clean up in the bathroom. You can go ahead if you want.”
Shauna watched as she locked herself up in the bathroom, never taking a glance back to the girl she just… well, could they classify whatever just happened as sex? She didn’t actually know. Jackie never went inside so they would probably just act like it was another one of their heated make out sessions. Was fingering even sex? Was it even fingering if there wasn’t penetration? From Jackie’s point of view, no – Jeff did it to her occasionally and she still considered herself a virgin, so she most definitely wouldn’t call what just happened a proper fuck. But it also wasn’t like anything they’d ever done together.
They always kept things PG. Shauna never came close actually coming from anything they did – she thought about it, of course, but Jackie always pulled back right before it got too hot.
So, she didn’t know what to make of it. As it always seemed to be the case when it came to Jackie Taylor. And as seemed to be the case with Shauna Shipman, she did as she was told. She got off the dresser, made herself look presentable and went back to the party, not waiting for Jackie to crush her post-orgasmic bliss.