Chapter Text
I startle awake from dreams of language drills with Markham, my body jerking as I sit upright.
“Violet?” My eyes fly over to the desk, Xaden’s form illuminated by a dim magelight. ”Violet?”
”I’m fine. Just a dream.”
Xaden’s disbelief trickles down the bond. I slam my shields in his proverbial face, distancing myself across the bond. The unimpressed look I earn would have terrified me as a first year. Right now? I can’t particularly bring myself to care.
Shit, my arms ache, bone deep pain radiating up my arms from the days of signet practice and long days writing. Sharp, stabbing pain dances along the knuckles of my hands as I wring them, clenching and unclenching to loosen the aggravated joints. The fatigue from last night hasn’t budged, and my body feels weighed down, exhaustion even worse than before I slept.
A shadow appears in my vision, offering a hand. Xaden’s turned back to his reports but his left index finger moves subtly. Grateful for the discretion, I take it, the shadow coalescing into something solid for me to pull against as I drag myself up on heavy legs. I hobble into the bathroom, forcing myself through brushing my teeth and hair before slouching onto our small couch and closing my eyes in exhaustion.
The brush of a hand against my forehead, warm and calloused, rouses me from my doze. Xaden crouches in front of me, dark eyes concerned and lips pursed, while Liam sits up in the bed, blankets pooling around his hips, chest on full display.
“You’re exhausted,” Xaden notes. “How late have you been staying up translating, Violet? We agreed no later than one unless all three of us are here, when it’s midnight.”
“‘m fine.” The protest falls flat even to my ears. Anxiety spikes in the back of my throat, my shoulders tensing. “I need to figure this out.”
An aborted protest makes its way up Liam’s throat before Xaden raises a hand to quiet him. “Not like this, you don’t, Violet. Take tonight off from it. A night away will help you figure out where you’re stuck.”
I have no intention of doing that and check my shields as I pretend to consider it. “Maybe.”
Xaden’s eyes narrow at me, and I bolster my shields, unwilling to give an inch. “Okay. I’ll go grab us breakfast,” he declares. He stands fluidly, with a grace I envy on a day when I feel my joints need oil more than rusted door hinges. “Just a reminder, Violet? Shielding me out only tells me you’re planning not to listen to me,” Xaden warns as the door closes.
Liam skewers me with accusing blue eyes. “You really are a horrible liar, Violet.”
“About what?” I turn my head to look out the window, admiring the landscape, the hints of the city rebuilding. This is why I have to keep pushing. To protect these innocents who just want to live their lives. To protect Rhi’s nephew, Ridoc’s father.
Most importantly, to protect this legacy that matters so much to Liam and Xaden. So why can’t I figure out what’s wrong with the translation?
Liam sighs, dropping dramatically onto his side in bed based on the swoosh of blankets and soft thump. I turn my head and snicker at him. “Yes, Liam?”
“Women,” Liam mutters. “There’s a particular kind of stubbornness you and Sloane share, and I swear that’s why.”
“Well now that’s just sexist,” I tease. “I could say the same about you and Xaden and men.”
“Xaden is his own category of stubborn,” Liam snorts. “He’s whatever is just below the gods for that.”
I snicker. “You aren’t wrong.” I press my lips together to keep myself from laughing, but one look at Liam shows he’s doing the same, and we burst into laughter, the sort that feels like a dam breaking after being pent up for too long.
We’ve only just started gathering ourselves when Xaden returns. His brow furrows as he looks us both over, mouth opening once, twice, before he shakes his head.
“I don’t want to know. Breakfast, with pastries, assuming-“ He holds up a finger in warning as Liam and I lunge for the rare treat. “Assuming you both agree to remember to be back by midnight tonight.” Onyx eyes meet my gaze, and my chin drops before I nod sheepishly. “Good. Enjoy.” A shadow lifts his plate off the tray for him to hold as he watches Liam and I bicker over who gets what.
Chocolate and hazelnut melt in my mouth as I bite into the filled pastry, buttery flakes falling onto the plate I hold close to my face. Gods, it tastes wonderful, and Xaden’s amusement and care leak through our shields, warming the Archives and melting away some of my stubbornness. Maybe tonight, I’ll acquiesce to his fussing, finish my work earlier. I mean, after a good start like this, I’m sure I can put the puzzle pieces of the translation together quickly.
After two hours of flight maneuvers, plus physics and runes all in one day, I desperately want to follow Xaden’s order and go back to them for the evening, maybe ask for some help to unwind. I nearly fell off Tairn during maneuvers because I’d been so distracted, and I don’t remember the physics quiz. So Xaden’s probably right.
My appetite’s nonexistent, so I duck out from dinner early after nibbling enough to keep Liam and Rhi off my back, and slip away to the library to continue the section that has overrun my thoughts all day. Liam shoots me a warning glare as I leave that I ignore. Shit, he’s going to tattle to Xaden, so I need to use the time I have.
At least it’ll be uninterrupted time to focus. Unless Tairn gives me away before Liam, that is.
“I’m no carrier pigeon like those spineless gryphons,” Tairn grumbles scathingly. “I would have been highly disappointed had your inattention led to my death today.”
“I’m sure you would have been,” I respond dryly as I drop my pack in the chair next to mine. Dain will be late tonight since he returned from patrol around dinner. After a day of pushing myself in all the ways that are outside my comfort zone, this quiet time is almost a treat.
A treat that controls the protection of hundreds of individuals against venin.
No pressure.
The comfort of familiarity vanishes in a heartbeat as I stare down at the journal, taking a deep breath before I begin.
I immerse myself in Warrick’s world, making note of some coded sections of the text I want a second set of eyes on, hand cramping from the pace I write to keep up with the thoughts flashing through my mind. The next time I lift my head, neck crackling like my lightning and aching from hunching over too long, I half fall out of my seat at the sight of Xaden across the table from me.
“An hour and a half,” Xaden comments quietly. My shoulders rise in response while my mind blanks at the non sequitur.
“What?” I blink rapidly, like he’s a hallucination from insomnia and stress that I can dispel.
“An hour and a half since I got here, and you didn’t notice once.” I blanch. There’s no way—
The clock on the wall stares back at me accusingly. 12:30. Past midnight. Fuck. I gawk, jaw slack, as shadows tidy up the veritable explosion of paper and manuscripts strewn about the table. My hand hits the journal with a smack to block the shadow that tries to close it.
“No! I was working on that!” I protest, snatching the journal up and hugging it close to my chest.
Xaden rises from his seat, legs dropping from where he had them crossed over one another on a second chair. I can’t meet his gaze as he walks around the table, a bent finger tilting my head back to look at him. “I watched you spend thirty minutes on that page alone, trying to figure out the way one word fit in with the others. That’s enough for tonight.”
I step back, away from the touch that I crave but can’t believe I’ve earned. “No, it isn’t,” I insist. “Aretia’s safety - our home’s safety-“ because that’s what it is now. Home, with all three of us and family and friends. “—all of that needs this translation done. Go spend some time with Liam. I’ll join you once I’m done.”
Xaden’s eyes narrow to slits. “Interesting that you think I’ll leave, Violence. Aetos is on his way to relieve you, if the translation is so much of a concern.”
Static crackles along my skull, my fingers sparking dangerously before I yank the power back from my skin and drop the book on the table, afraid I’ll damage it. “Excuse me?”
“Riorson’s right, Vi,” comes the quiet timbre as Dain approaches us, eyes rimmed with dark circles but more alert than I’d expect after patrol. “I had a few hours’ rest in the saddle. Go unwind — you’re acting like Asher would when he’d spent too long in the Archives.” A hint of a grin softens his expression, reminding me of the nights studying together and snickering when Dad would be a bit out of it and all over the place in a whirlwind of manuscripts and parchment.
“I-“ A large hand wraps around my upper arm, my bag slung over Xaden’s other shoulder.
“Food will be brought up from the kitchens for you,” Xaden tosses over his shoulder at Dain, steering me out of the library before my brain can catch up. When I dig my heels in, he sighs and spins me around to face him. “Two options. Straight to our room or stop by the kitchens for something since you barely touched dinner?”
“Neither.” I futilely try to tug my arm out of his firm grasp. “I need to work on the translation, I can’t just stop like this when it needs to get done!”
Xaden peers down at me, eyes calculating and head tilted just enough for me to know he’s talking with Sgaeyl. “Our room it is.” He continues walking, tugging me and utilizing his shadows to force me forward when I stop and turn back. The third time I try, he stops abruptly, ducking low and tossing me over his shoulder. I swear, hitting his chest with an open palm before he restrains me with his shadows.
I’m snarling at him, chewing him out while he remains silent, when we approach our door. Liam approaches from the opposite direction with a small tray of soup and bread that I distantly recognize as one of my favorites when I crane my neck to glare at him too.
“Hi Violet,” Liam greets, nodding at Xaden when he uses his shadows to open the door. “Thanks.” Liam moves to our small table as Xaden hauls me through, dropping me on the bed. He leans against the door to close it so I can’t leave the way I immediately intend to.
“I’m going back,” I declare, and Xaden’s head drops to his chest as he shakes it.
“No, you aren’t,” Xaden reiterates, eyes following my restless movements as I stand up. My vision blurs, darkness creeping in at the edges, so I jump when arms wrap around me from the side. Liam uses my disorientation to tug me down onto the bed, wrapped in his arms. I strain against him, swearing about stupidly tall men in more than one language before I slump, panting with my heart pounding in my ears and vision flickering in and out. Xaden watches quietly, arms crossed over his chest and brow furrowed as Liam wraps his legs around mine, stilling my residual fidgeting.
“Violet, relaaaaaax,” Liam cajoles, rocking us both. “You can’t translate when you’ve burnt your brain out.”
“I’ll relax when the wards are up,” I grumble, resigned to waiting until the boys get their overprotectiveness out of their system. I’d prefer to save my energy over wearing myself down further.
“Except if you need to help power them through Tairn’s magic, you’ll already be drained,” Xaden observes. “Aetos was all too willing to give information on how you’ve stayed later than him for the last couple weeks when I told him I was concerned.”
As grateful as I am towards Dain for saving my life in the torture chamber, I sometimes wish we’d left him to rot at Basgiath. Another overprotective man in my life I would love to back off.
“I’m fine,” I snap defensively from Liam’s enforced cuddles. “Liam, let me go.”
“Nope!” Liam sounds too gleeful. “Mandatory cuddle time.”
I push at his arms. “At least let me change out of my leathers.” Liam relents, but Xaden stays planted in front of the door as I grumble my way through a quick change into my nightclothes and preparing for bed. My shoulder seizes up when I try to undo my corset. Liam’s hands bat mine away, his thumbs digging into the tight muscles long enough to release them before he undoes the rest of the ties.
Only once I’m yanked under the covers with Liam wrapped all around me does Xaden move through his own nighttime routine, joining us quickly and bringing the tray over with lesser magic.
“Let her up enough so she can eat,” Xaden orders Liam, voice rumbling with amusement. Liam tightens his hold briefly, and I let out a false gasp, like he’s squeezed the life out of me.
“But mine,” Liam answers, squeezing me even closer before I squirm enough to convince him to let me go, unable to stop the grin that splits my face as I resist the urge to laugh at his antics.
I shove myself up to sit, breathing slowly as my arms pulse with pain while my body grows heavy with fatigue. Xaden passes the tray over, and I breathe in the scent of the tomato soup and fresh bread, tearing up a roll and dipping it as my stomach growls its displeasure over my earlier meagre dinner. Hunger hits properly, and I’m forlornly staring at an empty bowl and plate what feels like seconds later.
“Someone was hungry,” Liam remarks, eyes wide. “I saw you eating at dinner, though.”
I shrug it off as Xaden rises, taking the tray and setting it aside on the table before he rejoins us, eyes unreadable. “Seems she’s not been eating all that much at dinner from what Aetos said.”
I flush, irritated at the comment. “I’m fine. Can we go to sleep now?”
Xaden eyes me, emotions flicking through his eyes too fast for me to count them all. “Okay,” is all he says, shaking his head at Liam when our blond tries to pipe up. A few twists of his hand later, and the magelights flick off. I lay between them both as their breathing slows into sleep, brain still a whirlwind of activity and thoughts, wondering if Dain will come to the same conclusion as me for one of the trickier sections.
But if not, then how does it fit into that section? That’s the only option that works-
”Enough thinking, Violence. Rest now,” Xaden mumbles down the bond.
”Just because you took me out of the library, it doesn’t mean I’m magically able to rest,” I retort. ”Go to sleep.”
I hear Xaden’s soft sigh as he rolls over, leaning on one elbow to look down at me. I can’t miss the exhaustion in his face with his guard down like this. ”I’ll go to sleep when one, you aren’t projecting your thoughts down the bond, and two, when I’m convinced you’re actually going to sleep and not sneak out like you considered earlier.”
I check my shields and cringe when I find them leaking, not as solid and strong as usual. When had I let them slip? I fortify them with additional layers, my mind feeling stretched thin and sore like an overused muscle even as Xaden reaches over and squeezes my hand to get my attention again. ”I’m fine,” I bluster, hoping he can’t sense my intentions now that all I want to do is to shut down this conversation.
“‘s Vi’s brain too loud ‘gain, Xay?” Liam rolls over, rubbing his eyes with the back of a hand and yawning.
Well. Fuck.
“Just a bit,” Xaden murmurs, a responding yawn cracking his jaw. “Plan B?”
“What-“ I don’t get the question out of my mouth before Liam nods sluggishly, leaning over and rolling me onto my side and into his chest, my face pressed against his pecs as he twines his legs with mine. I’m thoroughly trapped when Xaden slides up behind me, an arm stretched over my shoulder and resting on Liam’s upper arm, his right leg thrown over top of the tangled mess of Liam and I’s legs. I twitch futilely, but Liam has me held with my arms pressed against my own chest.
“Breathe, Violet,” Xaden mutters in my ear. I huff but obey and as I exhale they tighten their grips and—oh. Something in my brain uncurls, relaxation sliding down my spine as my muscles release their tension, and I slacken in their secure hold. Oh. Safe. Comfortable. “Mmmhmm, there’s our good girl. Sleep now.”
The exhaustion of the day sweeps over me in a torrent. I blink once more up at Liam’s sleepy smile, the fog in my brain making it hard to formulate an argument, and then fatigue and exhaustion combine forces, my head drooping onto one of their biceps. One more breath, and the day fades away into night.