Chapter Text
It shouldn’t have come as a surprise to Steve that Bucky might have acted under duress. Steve made himself think of the arrogant, stubborn man he had faced in his office those years ago. How certain he had been of this man’s guilt. Yet now, his only surprise was how well this made pieces in Bucky’s chequered story begin to fit into place.
When Bucky finally responded, he was much more defensive than Steve might have expected. He bristled with offence taken at Steve’s ignorance.
“Careful with that past tense.”
“But you left. You’re not there anymore. What more could they have on you?”
“I disappeared, Steve. And when you tracked me down and had me on trial, you actually very effectively found a way to keep me off their list. A hacker with no internet access is no threat to their secrets.”
“But what could they have on you to keep you there? I mean, I read your files. I read them a lot, actually. There’s not much of anything personally that I can imagine people blackmailing you with. Are you telling me they know something about you that the government don’t?”
Steve instantly regretted his brusque sarcasm when he caught a flash in the other man’s eyes; they darkened with rage for only an instant and then all traces of that fire were quickly hidden. Steve was startled by the unexpectedly strong feelings and more importantly, by how well he was able to override them completely.
“I tried to leave once. Get up and walk out the door.” He said, his voice suddenly unnerving in its lack of emotion. “They broke my arm in the struggle. I couldn’t go to a doctor, not without raising questions nobody wanted me to answer so instead they set it for me. It’s never been quite the same since.”
Steve gaped at him, trying to find appropriate words.
“I’m sorry.” It wasn’t enough. But the way Bucky lifted his eyes to look at him, as if he was seeing his intent, gave Steve some hope. He wanted to take back the things he had said, and done. That wasn’t the way it worked though. Even if he still didn’t know what had happened, he began to understand that it was just as much up to him to earn Bucky’s trust, as Bucky was earning his. And maybe, Bucky was still open to let him try. “Can I get you a drink?”
“Fuck yes.” Bucky replied and leaned back in his chair. He let a small smile touch his lips and in that simple exhale, the tension eased up in the room. Steve decided that one day, he would figure out how the man did it. Even though after working in close quarters with Natasha, he had never learned the secret to her skill in affecting others.
“I think you’ve been working harder than us the last couple of days. You need a break.”
“I’m sorry. Did you just tell me to take a break?” Bucky comically mimed rubbing his ears and Steve laughed. “What alternate universe have I stumbled into?”
“Apparently one where we’re on the same team.” Steve shot back slyly and watched Bucky’s reaction. The warmth in his smile was unexpectedly disarming and Steve found himself fumbling with the mug he had just picked from Bucky’s collection on the table top.
“You still with me, Captain?” Bucky said when he’d just caught the mug before it hit the floor.
“’Til we see this done, Soldier.” Steve said, though the affection of the nickname didn’t quite counteract the gravity of his statement. It was clear by Bucky’s emphatic agreement that he hadn’t meant water when Steve offered a drink. On closer inspection of his fridge, Steve came back with a couple of cold beers.
The easiest thing to do that evening was to avoid talk of any serious topics. Somehow they naturally progressed to dinner, then the new episode of the Howling Commandos, because Steve had missed that week’s episode. It was on the DVR, though Steve didn’t ask why Bucky had saved it, when he had already seen it. He didn’t want to think about the comfort of sitting on the sofa next to him, idly chatting as the commercials rolled on, even though they could be fast forwarding over them.
Everything around Bucky always fell so far from ordinary. Steve was spending his evening relaxing, not working. He was drinking, when he had to go to the office the next day. It was a rare weekend when Steve Rogers went to the bar anymore, never mind midweek. All of this was too much for him to think about too deeply at that moment so, much like his other resolution for the evening, he put it to one side and simply chose to enjoy the time as it passed.
Which is probably how they ended up putting on a movie after the episode ended. It was something that happened to be playing on TV after the recorded programme stopped, and after briefly looking around, there wasn’t much else on so they decided to stick with it and see how it went.
It was some animated film Steve had never seen, but he got the sneaking suspicion Bucky had, as halfway through, he noticed the other man holding his breath before significant lines and sneaking glances at Steve as if watching his reaction.
Steve did try at the beginning. He was paying attention to the plot of the film, and he was quite intrigued as he remembered seeing trailers when it came out. It was a rather sweet tale of a man and a boy, and his house, and a bird. He felt he had missed something important to the plot when they started it 15 minutes in.
However, after repeatedly noticing Bucky looking across at him, he began to pay more attention to looking back and catching his eye, letting him know his stealthy spying was less inconspicuous than he might have hoped. He continued looking over every time he saw the slight movement from Bucky, just in time to see him looking away but not too late to notice the slight curve of his lip in a conspiratorial grin. Their game was one that neither would admit to playing and consequentially became much more distracting than the film.
Yet something so silly was able to transport him back to being a little kid again, with all the comforts of playing in the streets back home in Brooklyn. He couldn’t help the smile that touched his eyes when their eyes next met, as they had been doing more and more frequently.
Bucky smiled back and Steve wasn’t thinking about their work, or about their muddled, unfriendly history. Instead, he focused only on the genuine smile that took lines from Bucky’s face, betraying something disarmingly caring in his eyes. Steve managed to pull his gaze away, once he realised he had been looking for a long time.
Bucky had been looking back.
He hazarded another glance up and Bucky’s blue eyes quickly lifted again to lock stares with Steve. Steve only registered at that moment how they had somehow moved on the sofa during the film. While Bucky usually sprawled to one side against the arm of the chair, he now mimicked Steve’s more upright position, instead leaning towards the centre of the cushions. They were much closer than he had noticed, even with his frequent checks on whether the other man had been watching the film or himself. In the same way that he sometimes might find himself bumping shoulders with a friend as they walk along a path, even though they started quite comfortably apart, they had somehow drawn together through the evening.
Bucky still met his eyes as the music from the film swelled from a sad melody to a bolder crescendo. Steve knew it was a bad idea, his eyes flickered across the other man’s face, his dark eyelashes and the dimples in the corner of his mouth. His breath carried a hint of coffee. He shouldn’t even be thinking…
“I’m not sure we quite caught the end of that film.”
Bucky’s eyes were wide open, they both looked at each other in surprise. It took a moment for them to realise it was Bucky who had spoken, while Steve was flooded with relief and disappointment in equal amounts at the interruption. It was a spectacularly bad idea. He shuffled backwards, only a couple of inches but enough that Bucky wouldn’t be able to miss it. His eyes betrayed nothing but sparkling amusement.
“No, I’ve wanted to see it for a while, it was good.” Steve managed to say, he thought it had made sense in his head. He was surprised to find his heart beating rapidly in his chest, his breath shaky in his lungs. He hoped Bucky couldn’t tell.
“Maybe we should try and watch it again sometime.” Bucky said casually, a warm smile on his face.
“I should go.” His words were out before he found a way to temper them, sounding far too abrupt. He regretted his slow thinking as he saw the telltale flicker of hurt across Bucky’s face before it was carefully hidden again. It was too late to take the words back and he was speaking again, blundering to cover the moment. “You’ve done what you needed with the computer…system things?”
Maybe he thought he was changing the subject to an easier topic to discuss, until he heard it in his voice and realised how casually he seemed to be brushing the warmth of the evening aside. What was it that made him forget how to talk like a normal, empathic human being?
“The computer system things are quite happy for the moment.” Bucky drawled and Steve was just relieved to see him smile, the corner of his lips lifted in a way that was surely mocking Steve, who couldn’t seem to care.
There, it was simply a physical reaction. That explained it, he’d always had a bit of a type, it had nothing to do with the warmth he saw in those eyes, or the curve of his lips that showed off how readily they turned up into a smile. It was just the dark hair, that’s what he’d always found his eye caught on.
In fact, if he really convinced himself, he could almost believe he’d had the same thoughts when he first saw Bucky, back when he was the stubborn ass in his interrogation room. Of course back then, he hadn’t known the man, or his coffee quirks and taste in TV, or his skill in the kitchen.
Bucky had stood up, Steve stood up in turn. It was a weak effort to separate themselves and they both knew it. Yet it was strangely difficult for Steve to turn away and walk towards the door.
“You sure you don’t want to stay a little longer?” They were still stood facing one another until Steve took a faltering step backwards.
“No, I should really stop, if this plan is meant to go ahead tomorrow. Fury will know that…I have to-”
He somehow willed himself to turn and walk towards the door, the soft tread he could hear telling him that Bucky was following close behind.
He stopped at the door and reached out for his coat on the hook, feeling the slight tensing across his shoulders as his mind ran away from him, what was he thinking?
“Stop thinking.” Bucky growled in an eerie answer to Steve’s own thoughts, and as he turned to face him, he suddenly found the man well within Steve’s space. When had his personal space gained such different rules for Bucky than it held for anyone else?
Steve looked into Bucky’s blue eyes, focused intently on Steve’s own. Until they wandered down, to his lips, watching the end of Steve’s tongue dart out to wet his suddenly dry mouth, almost involuntarily. “Don’t think so damn much.” Bucky spoke more quietly.
And Steve stopped thinking. He leant forwards and his lips crashed against Bucky’s, hungry, reckless and unbelievably perfect. Bucky responded with a soft gasp, and then he pressed close against Steve’s chest.
In response, Steve lifted his hands up to Bucky’s hips, playing up the side of his ribs through his t-shirt. The passing query of whether Bucky was ticklish was quickly flung from his mind by the hand the other man tangled in his hair, pulling just gently enough that Steve turned his head and their mouths pressed together again.
He knew he would need to breathe but the rush of heat under his skin told him that stopping right now would be a bad idea. Very bad. They stumbled a step and Steve felt his back make contact with the wall, or the door. His hand reached up Bucky’s back as he pulled himself as close into the other man as they could physically get. A noise, almost a moan broke the low buzzing in Steve’s ears, Steve felt it across his chest, in his arms, especially in his mouth but he couldn’t honestly say which of them had made the sound.
Then a knock resonated through the door. Steve’s eyes flew open to find himself staring back into Bucky’s shocked gaze, and they drew their heads only a few inches apart. Apparently it had been the wall they had hit, as they turned in unison to stare down at the handle beside them.
“Mr Rogers? Sir? Are you still in there? Only, Hammerstein just finished her shift and she said she hadn’t seen you leave, since you came in 4 hours ago.” Steve suddenly sucked in a breath at the agent’s voice on the other side of the door. He had completely forgotten about the guard being there.
He turned back to see amusement sparkling in Bucky’s gaze, and before he could stifle it, a laugh burst from him.
“Mr Barnes? Hello?” The voice through the door sounded even more uncertain and Bucky leaned his head forward, trying not to laugh out loud on Steve’s shoulder while Steve bit down on his own lip.
Despite his shoulders still shaking, Bucky whispered “You should probably say… something.” He managed to straighten up but he still had an uncontrolled smile on his lips.
“Just on my way out, agent. The project took longer than expected.” Steve answered, looking back at Bucky.
Their moment was broken, Steve couldn’t honestly have said exactly what had pushed him to kiss Bucky then and there. And he couldn’t quite find a reason why he shouldn’t have. He still felt pleasantly warm across his chest where Bucky had been moments before.
“It’s been a good night.” He said more quietly so Bucky would hear, and hopefully the agent wouldn’t. Bucky gaze flickered once more to Steve’s lips before Steve turned away quickly and bent to pick up his jacket which had at some point fallen to the floor.
Then he pushed the door open and stepped into the hallway, past the guard who hastily stepped out of the way and allowed Steve to face Bucky once more.
“I’ll see you in the morning.” Bucky chuckled and without ceremony he took the door and swung it shut, a wicked grin on his face, hidden from the view of the guard behind the door. Abruptly, Steve felt disappointed, surprised and amused. He couldn’t identify which of those emotions dominated.
Mostly confusion, as he looked at his watch and realised it was past 11. He had no idea where that time had gone and knew that he should be feeling guiltier about missing sleep than he did.
Steve jogged down the stairs with a lively step that evening. Even as he tried to think rationally in the cooler night air, he still felt his treacherous mouth curving up into a smile of his own. Bucky had achieved one of the goals he had been working on these past weeks. Steve’s mind was about as far from his job as he could get that night.