Chapter Text
He wanted to scream. That’s what he wanted to do. All that work, all that danger. Every moment where he struggled between his own humanity and accepting one of the royal’s offers. The casual cruelty of the village, the terrifying moments on the run. He had been in more danger on this quest than his entire life prior to it and he was an orphan living on the streets for most of it,
And now. This bastard, this feathery one step away from a crow mutant of evolution, this horrific monster, was looking him in the eyes and telling him that he hadn’t won. That he had Tommy back, but not at the same time. All he wanted was to wake Tommy up, see the blue eyes looking back at him, and ask him what he wanted.
If he didn’t have even the slimmest chance of winning this. Tubbo probably would have vaulted the altar and attempted to strangle Phil. Honestly, the option was still on the table. If he did here, he was going to haunt these motherfuckers for the rest of his life.
Except he likely wouldn’t die, he thought sorely, looking at their smug grins and Technoblade’s indifferent gaze. He’d probably be traded off to another Court where he couldn't cause any trouble and they’d get something in return. So. No strangulation.
Not yet at least.
“Tick Tock.” Wilbur sang. “What’s it going to be, human? I have a room to decorate, I don’t have the time to sit and watch you.”
Tubbo rolled his eyes. “I haven’t touched him yet.” He reminded them. The quest might have been completed, but the deal wasn’t. Until he touched Tommy, he hadn’t actually finished it out. Granted, that may have given him a grace period of about an hour or until the Winter Fey decided he had broken the rules of hospitality.
Wilbur rolled his eyes right back at him, the smug bastard. “Give it a rest.” He said. “You’ve already lost. It was sad enough watching you scramble your way through the Courts, now you’re just going to sit here and think.”
“I understand that may be unfamiliar to you.” Tubbo said dryly. Worth it. Technoblade chuckled, making Tubbo flinch and ignoring Wilbur’s offended look.
“He’s got you there.” Technoblade said. Philza’s grin eased slightly, a little less smug, a little more exasperated. Tubbo pulled his gaze away, looking back at Tommy. He was terrifyingly still as he laid on the altar. Every breath looked like it could be his last.
His fingernails and lips are blue, he noted, not a good sign. If they were home, he’d be worried about frostbite and hypothermia. Here, he was worried about how deep the freezing process had gone. How long he had before there would be nothing left to save.
Philza might let him take Tommy, may even let him get home. But if he didn’t stop the ice from freezing Tommy entirely, Tommy would head right back to the Winter Court. He wouldn’t be able to help himself. The magic would call him home.
Tubbo had been cruel and done some terrible things to make sure Tommy was safe. He had let his silence send people to the grave. Had sent himself onto the gallows. But he wasn’t quite sure if he’d be willing and able to trap Tommy in his home, listen to his screams and begs, even if it was for his own good.
There was a story about it, he thought, his anger beginning to boil. A young farmer who had saved their daughter from the Fey. She had nearly withered away at home, dying by inches as she weeped for the Fae who had taken her. The anguish of the farmer as their daughter forgot them slowly and screamed at them with rage until they finally led her back to the forest.
Or didn’t. In some stories, the daughter withered away until she died. The farmer’s land was cursed and the farmer killed for killing a Fae.
In all his years, he had never heard a story about someone bringing back a Changeling. Trading a changeling for a stolen child, bringing back a kidnapped spouse, even charming a Fae to play at mortality. But never once had he heard a story that ended with a changeling returning to a mortal life. Whether that was because Fey refused to spread it or because it was impossible, he didn’t know.
He wouldn’t even have the luxury of bringing him home, Tubbo thought mutinously. Because Philza’s own wife had trapped him in the Veil forever. All he had was a bit of red clothing and that would be nowhere near enough to make Tommy stay. Not unless he could somehow release Tommy from the magic.
“How much longer are you going to take?” Philza said, his tone bored. “I will not have you standing in my throne room for centuries.”
Tubbo felt his nails digging into his palms, the pain promising that he was just shy of reaching blood. “I’m thinking.” He repeated, biting his tongue harshly. His tease against Wilbur had likely just barely slipped by under the laws of hospitality. If he insulted Philza again or multiple times, they could call for a breach in hospitality laws and force them out.
But rage had filled his chest with a roaring bonfire and not just at the Fey before him. At himself. He should have called for a neutral place to avoid having to skirt hospitality laws. He should have laid down better rules about sabotage to avoid Technoblade. He should have negotiated better with Kristin or found a different route. Been someone who won but didn’t get the attention of the Fey.
He should have asked for Tommy back, whole and healthy and as warm as he was. Should have known that the Fae king would twist their deals until he wasn't getting what he wanted and planned for it.
His anger was the worst of all because there was guilt underneath it. Guilt for not being more careful. For not being better for not being what Tommy needed. He had promised to save Tommy and he had failed from the very beginning. How could he call himself his friend, his family, if he couldn’t do this right?
But. No matter how much he loathed himself, he loathed the Fey more. The smugness, the indifference to what they were doing. The fact that kindness was so foreign to them that they would twist his words to cruelly separate him from his friends. There was something wrong with the Fey, he decided, something twisted that ran bone deep in every Fae.
“Tick tock.”
“Would you stop with the tick tock!” Tubbo snapped, beginning to pant. His body reminded him of how tired he was, of the cold that still lingered around him. He rubbed at his arms, trying to steady himself. “I know.”
The cold in his chest yawned and he shuddered, making the charm bracelet rattle. Instantly his eyes went to it and an idea popped into his head. It was a terrible idea, one of the same design that had gotten them into this mess.
But it was tempting, still. Philza had said he may be able to use the magic in the Charms and he could almost feel the magic flickering inside, just out of his reach. The feeling had grown stronger with each Court he visited, the visit to Dream’s Court making him yearn for the magic inside.
It was dangerous, the cautious part of him whispered. He had dismissed it before for a reason. It was very likely that using this magic would cause some kind of backlash, a deadly combination with him standing in the throne room of the Winter Court. A backlash that could very well keep him from saving Tommy and instead doom them both. There was the ugly yawning feeling in his chest, the terrible longing, that told him that if he used this magic then he would never go back. And where it would take him, he had no idea.
But, the deadly feeling whispered, did he have a choice? As he watched, the frost was beginning to spread over Tommy’s skin in designs that would be beautiful if it wasn’t for what they signified. With every moment, he ran the risk of either the Winter Fey kicking him out or the winter shard taking over Tommy completely.
Tommy would protect him when he woke up. And that’s all he wanted. For the other to wake up. The other didn’t have to make his choice with Tubbo fully awake and aware. And if Tommy chose the Winter Court, well, he was fine with dying or being traded away. All as long as Tommy would be happy.
And if Tommy chose him then the other would protect him. It wouldn’t matter how the magic backlashes against him because Tommy would protect him. And if he didn’t… Well, he wouldn’t be in a position to care much.
It was risky. So risky. There were so many things that could go wrong with this choice. But did he really have an option? Unbidden, his thoughts began drifting to which Charm would be best.
Not the Autumn Charm, he dismissed that one quickly. As much as he loved the season, he didn’t think it would work well for this. Being one step away from Winter Magic would render it useless, the cold of Autumn being so different.
Not Spring either. The magic working on Tommy right now was strong magic, the kind that would take an extreme to fix. Either too hot or too cold. And the bitingly cold snowflake and searing hot flame could offer either.
His fingertips drifted open the charm option, considering. The Summer charm was the obvious choice. After all, what better to melt the ice than summer’s flame? All it would take was a spark, a slight tug and the frost would melt away. A fitting ending for the shard that had taken root in his soul.
Tubbo instantly dismissed it.
He had lived in the mountains for years. When treating frostbite, you didn’t jump straight to boiling hot water. If he tried to use the Summer Charm on Tommy, he could hurt him even worse than he had planned. Maybe even kill him. After walking in the Summer glade, he knew how high the temperature would go.
If the frost was flash melted, even if the shard was gone, it would likely ruin Tommy. Tubbo couldn’t bear to hurt his friend like that.
But that left one choice then. A choice he was even more reluctant to take. It felt like proving their own notions about their superiority, giving into their arrogance. A choice that could just as easily backfire on him and Tommy.
The Winter charm.
Such an innocent little symbol. A charming little snowflake, that radiated the chill. Part of him rejected the idea, pointing out he wanted to get rid of the winter shard, not add to it. Piling more cold on top of cold wouldn't solve anything. But the other pointed out that maybe cold was needed here. Philza had used ice and snow to put the shard there and now refused to take it out. Maybe, with this charm of ice and snow, he could take it back out again. He ehsitated, caught between his options.
“Why are you so determined about this anyway?” Wilbur said, staring at the ceiling. “I mean, wow, charming you got this far. Really didn’t expect that. But why keep going? Why do you have to be so selfish?”
Tubbo’s head jerked up, his eyes narrowing. It had not been an uncommon question during his quest, and not uncommon among the Winter Fey either, Technoblade had questioned his goal as well. But now, standing here at the moment of his failure or victory, it only stoked his rage. “I’m the selfish one?”
“Of course.” Wilbur said, waving a hand. “Tommy is so so bright. It’s like he carries the sun in him. He’s such a charmer, cuddly, cute, he’s practically the perfect little brother for me. And then you come along, all meh meh meh, you can’t have him. As if you’re not taking away a life many would beg for.”
“How dare you!” Tubbo said, more yelled. Technoblade’s hand dropped to his side, resting on the hilt of his sword. “I’m selfish? I’m the selfish one? You’re the one who ripped him away from his home! Who claims he’ll be happy when you don’t even know him! All the stuff you say makes him perfect is bullshit! Those are all things you used to describe a pet not a brother! But I guess it makes sense considering you don’t even know him!.”
His hand dropped to his wrist, wrapping around the snowflake charm. The cold was hard to touch, but he endured it, feeling the rage in his chest burn even hotter. How dare Wilbur say that to him, how dare he say it in front of Tommy. Tubbo was going to use this charm to rip the snow out of Tommy’s heart and then protect him from ever falling to the Fey again.
“Of course I know him.” Wilbur said, the temperature in the room beginning to drop. “I know everything about him! I’ve seen him laugh, I’ve seen him cry, and I was there! I know more about him then you could possibly comprehend!”
“No you don’t!”
“He’s my sunshine! My little golden boy, my precious warm treasure! Of course I learned everything I could! I know his favorite treat, that he loves cows, everything!”
And something in Tubbo freezes. His heart slowly drops away from the charm, something opens up in the back of his mind. Wires connecting. “How long.” He said slowly. “Have you been watching us?”
The last time they had actually talked about getting treats from the bakery was before the village trip, he was pretty sure. They hadn’t been planning a village trip for a while and dancing around what happened in the blizzard. And he was pretty sure Tommy hadn’t talked about cows much after the blizzard.
“Long enough.” Wilbur replies, the cadence of his words stilted. “Scared?”
Tubbo slowly shook his head, staring at Wilbur At Technoblade, at Philza, so stiff in their home. In a cold empty throne room with no one around them.
It was terrifying, yes, knowing that they had been watching them. Had possibly been watching them for a long time, long before the blizzard incident. And yet. It was so strangely pathetic at the same time. The Winter Court, Fey that had wiped out cities and ruined empires. Spying on two boys as they built a life together, a home from nothing.
The anger in his chest seeped away, replaced with a strange sense of pity almost. How tragic it must be to be on the outside looking in. To return home to a cold palace, where you were feared and immortal and great, but that lacked all the same. They would live for centuries but he and Tommy had a home filled with laughter and loud voices and shared jokes. A home that far outclassed this place.
Sunshine. Warmth. Golden. Spoken as if these were rare treasures. He couldn’t quite miss the edge of desperation in Wilbur’s voice, the tenseness he saw.
Every story said the same. The Winter Court would never thaw. And that meant the people too.
He hated them. Would never stop hating them. Even if he pitied them, it didn’t mean they were right. Tommy would be miserable here, even if he was given all the love in the world because this world would never change. The palace and it’s people were eternally frozen, always chasing after happiness, even when it hurt people. Fundy was loved but he wanted freedom. Tommy would be loved but Tubbo knew in his heart that the Winter Court would have to break him to get the sunshine they craved.
Tubbo snorted. Chuckled and shook his head as it all came together. “You couldn’t thaw Tommy even if you wanted to.” He said. Philza’s stiffened, his hands tightening on the throne.
“The power of the Winter Court is far beyond your wildest dreams, mortal.” He said, a chide easy to hear. Tubbo couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up, his arms spreading wide.
“That’s not a denial. That’s a dodge and trust me, I’ve gotten good at those.” He said. He took a step closer to the altar, taking in how the three Fey stiffened. “You’re ice. The winter’s wind, the morning frost. You couldn’t thaw anyone, no matter how much you wanted to. All you can do is freeze them, freeze them and keep them by your side.”
So many statues. How many of those were Fey cruelty and how many of those were envy? Envy at the joy people had even knowing their lives were short. The love that was found, the memories cherished, the lives built through all the little experiences. A little boy chased a ball and laughed, and felt in a way that the Fey could never experience. A seamstress telling stories, a soldier going to war, a new mother fishing, all without the weight of centuries on their back.
And the changelings, immortals who would never change. Fundy, trapped as a child. Unburdened by time, so bright. A glimpse at a world both craved and loathed.
Tubbo took another step, looking down at Tommy. Sometimes his partner in crime, sometimes his rival, always his friend. They had written their own story together, in clumsy stumbling steps. In hugs, in fights, in quiet words as the fire died. “The first day you came to the orphanage.” He started softly. “You tore the stuffing out of my bee. I punched you and started crying. And in those moments, I thought I’d hate you forever.”
He kneeled down next to the altar, watching the quiet rise and fall of Tommy’s chest. “And the next day, I found the bee on my pillow and your pillow was useless. I was still angry. I cried again because I didn’t know if I should be angry or forgive you. And you scoffed and refused to talk to me. It took weeks before we really talked to each other and it was because you’d gotten stung by a bee and thought you were going to die. I almost died laughing that day and decided someone who reacted like that couldn’t be so bad.”
“Mortal, is there a point to this or do you just like hearing your own voice?” Philza drawled. Tubbo ignored him, pressing on.
“When we ran away, I was terrified. I hated the orphanage but I was more scared of the outside world. The matron’s stories made it sound terrifying and I knew that was on purpose but I was still scared. I probably would have died there if it wasn’t for you.” The matron had kept them alive but she really didn't care what happened to them after they left. Honestly, what happened to them during, there were so many kids that just disappeared overnight. “You had to push me out the door and I thought you’d get mad but you just told me you were scared too.”
He reached down, gently intertwined his fingers with Tommy. They were so cold, icy to the touch and limp. If it wasn’t for the steady pulse, he would have thought Tommy was dead.
“I thought you’d leave afterwards.” He said softly. It was like they were in their own little world, just him and Tommy. “I was one of the littlest and I wasn’t very strong. It took me so long to figure out how the world worked, how to plan and charm and scheme to protect us. There were so many times you got hurt protecting me. But you never left me behind.”
It had terrified him, every time that Tubbo had done something stupid. That this would be the time that would finally be too much. Tommy would realize what everyone else did, which was that Tubbo was deadweight. But he never did, he snapped and complained but never once did he leave.
“You might leave me here.” He whispered. “And stay with these people. For the first time in years, we’ll be taking different paths. And it terrifies me. All this time, I’ve told myself that this journey is for you. All I need to know is your answer. But I lied. It’s for me too. I need to know if this time you’ll leave. I need to hear it from you. I won’t let you disappear without a word, not like everyone else did.”
He was pretty sure Technoblade said something mocking about his words, something about orphans but he didn’t care. “I’ve made so many mistakes along the way.” He said. “I can’t leave the Veil, I’ve dealt with Fey, and I’ve got my own obsessive problems. But there are no mistakes I regret more than not noticing sooner. Letting you go through the struggle alone and assume that you’ll get through like you always would. I got so used to thinking that nothing could ever touch you that I forgot that some things can.”
”I’m sorry.”
“And I love you.” He whispered. And this time the tears really did come, slipping down his cheeks and raining onto Tommy's chest. “And I should have said it more. I love the way you laugh. I love the way you snap and snarl and spin from one topic to the next. I love how you’re always bouncing around. I love cuddling with you, working in the garden with you. Knowing that it’s us against the world. If there really is such a thing as soulmates, I honestly think this is it. I will never stop loving you, even if you choose to leave. You could turn me into a statue, drive a blade through my heart, anything. And I’d still love you.”
Tubbo panted for a moment, staring at Tommy. Engraving the boy in his memories. He had no idea what was next for them. But he knew, he’d never forget his friend.
“As touching as this is, I think it’s time for you to go.” Philza said. And Tubbo could hear the clanking of armor, the slight crackle of magic as Technoblade neared him. He let out a shuddering breath, this was it then. He wasn’t leaving Tommy's side unless they wanted to drag him away. One last tear slipped out, darkening the area above Tommy’s heart.
A cold hand landed on his shoulder and Tubbo hissed at the pain that accompanied it. “Time for you to go.” Technoblade said, his voice holding a dark promise. Tubbo hung on, tightening his grip but slowly, he was being dragged backwards.
“No, fuck off-”
“LET HIM GO, FUCKFACE!”
There was a flicker of color, Tubbo lurching backwards in surprise as Tommy shoved him aside, slamming his fist into Technoblade’s nose. Technoblade staggered back, one hand raising to his nose, his eyes filled with shock. And then Tommy turned to Tubbo, and Tubbo felt the tears streaming down his cheeks. And this time, they were tears of joy.
Because that was Tommy. His cheeks flushed, shirt soaked from the frost melting away. His skin tan from the long days they spent outside, the blue cloak in a puddle by his feet. Tommy squeezed his hand. “You okay?” He said.
“Always was a crybaby.” Tubbo replied, beaming at him. “Your hand is so warm.”
“Of course it is.” Tommy said, matter of fact. Like he wasn’t just sleeping on an altar of ice, one step above being ice himself. “Come on Tubs, I thought you were the smart one here. People be warm.”
“Tommy?” Tommy stiffened, twisting so he was between Tubbo and the threat. Wilbur stepped forward, his honey brown eyes wide and confused. “Sunshine, are you okay? How are you awake?”
“You’re the one.” Tommy ground out. Tubbo squeezed his hand harder, trying to ease the tension he could see. “You messed with my head. You kept fucking sneaking into my room, but I couldn't remember to tell Tubbo.”
He couldn’t remember? Tubbo opened his mouth to interrupt, to ask what the fuck that meant but the fear in Wulbur’s eyes dropped away, replaced by smooth confidence. “Honey, I never made you forget.” He cooed. “That was all your choice. You were so happy when I hugged you.”
“I didn’t want you to touch me. I didn't want to sleep there. It was just so fucking hot I couldn't think and everytime the window wasn’t open, it felt like I was scratching my skin open.” Tommy insisted. “You fucking, you tricked me. I thought you were my friend. I thought everything was okay. You made me think it was okay. I didn’t want to leave and you made me.”
Tubbo hated how raw the other’s voice was, the heartbreak clear as day. Somewhere along the line, Tommy had loved these Fey, at least a little.
“But it was.” Wilbur cooed, stepping closer. Tubbo started to tug Tommy back but the other placed his feet firmly, glaring at all three Fey. “You wanted a family. And you were so sweet when I offered it, so cuddly.”
“I heard you calling my name that day.” Tommy said, his voice cracking ever so slightly. If it wasn’t for his years of experience, he wouldn’t have even noticed. He pressed himself to Tommy's back, reassurance that he was here, that he’d fight if they needed to. “And I tried, I tried to ignore you but I couldn’t.”
“You wanted it.” Wilbur insisted, his voice as sweet as honey. “And don't you want it now? You could have the family you always dreamed of. A loving father, older brothers, as much cuddles as you want. You’ll never feel hurt or lost or confused again.”
Tommy's hold slackened slightly. Tubbo froze, holding his breath. He promised himself not to interfere. If Tommy wanted to take this, he could. He promised. His heart lurched, caught between praying and begging.
And then Tommy squeezed his hand three times. Tubbo’s eyes widened, instantly catching the message. “If you really knew me. If you were a friend, if you wanted to be family.” Tommy’s breath caught. “If you loved me. You would have never hurt Tubbo.”
And then he turned and bolted for the door, Tubbo one half step behind. He heard the howls of rage and sorrow behind him, but he still felt like he could fly. Tommy had chosen him back.
They burst into the cold winter night, scrambling down the rocky path. The corridor had disappeared, gone as if it never existed. “Do you have a fucking plan.” Tommy yelled. “Because I sure fucking don’t!”
The words leapt to the tip of his tongue, go home. But home wasn't an option anymore. But he did have one idea of where they could go. Maybe not to stay forever, but somewhere to lay low and come up with an actual plan.
“Follow me.” Tubbo said, leading the way down the snow covered path.
“Sunshine.” And it was so achingly sad that he nearly stumbled, Tommy's tense hand pulling him up. The song of a grieving widow, the tears shed after a terrible fight, the lilting voice reached into his heart and ripped out his grief. He could hear behind them. “Sunshine! Come home!”
“Mate, I know this is scary, but we can explain-”
“Theseus! Get back here!”
“Are you really okay?” Tubbo said, panting. Is this really fine, he wanted to say. Do you really want me? Or do you feel obligated to keep me around?
“Of course I am.” And Tubbo nearly stumbled as Tommy pulled on his hand, bringing them shoulder to shoulder. “Fucking hell. Man gets kidnapped by the Fey and people ask him if he wants to stay. I love you too, big man. More than any Fey in the world.”
And Tubbo felt like he could run for a hundred miles if it meant Tommy would stay with him.
The voices grew louder and Tubbo flinched. They had clearly realized Tommy was well and truly leaving, and now they moved on to the threats. Sickening descriptions of what they would do if Tommy didn’t come back right now. Shattered bones, frostbitten limbs, threats for both him and Tommy alike.
“Once upon a time.” Tubbo said, his voice ragged with fatigue. “There was a young maid who used to visit the river every day who dreamed of being a pirate-”
Tommy glanced at him but didn’t speak. Tubbo forced himself through telling the story of the pirate and the fae queen, raising his voice to drown out their pursuers. And when he finally ended it, faltering for another, Tommy picked up the next.
“Okay, so, there was this fucking dude who decided he was the best at fighting-”
And so it went. Everytime one faltered, the voices invading the silence again, the other picked up with another. And another. Tubbo wracked his brain for stories, retelling even the foggiest tales he knew. At some point, he was pretty sure Tommy had started to make up his stories.
Maybe it was the deal, a word working to their advantage. Maybe it was a last gift from Kristin. Or maybe it was themselves, racing through the night, trusting only in each other. For even as the howl of wolves, the caws of crows, and Wilbur’s hauntingly sweet lullaby echoed around them, none caught up.
They staggered into the clearing, Tubbo looking up to see the small cottage. It looked exactly the same as his last visit. He swallowed hard. If this didn't work, he wasn’t sure what to do next. “You sure about this Tubs?” Tommy asked.
Tubbo smiled at him.”As sure as I’ll ever be.” He said. He pulled Tommy to the door, raising his hand to knock.
It opened before he could, Purpled’s eyes glowing in the moonlight. He surveyed them both, frowning. Tubbo’s heart sunk in his chest. “Holy fuck. I can’t believe you survived, let alone brought him back.” Purpled said, looking at Tommy.
“Hey! Fuck you, purple boy!” Tommy snapped. Purpled rolled his eyes.
He stepped aside and through the door, Tubbo could see Ranboo sitting on the couch. He looked up, his look of concentration turning into a soft smile. Tubbo glanced at Tommy and then Purpled, half hesitating. “You can stay, but you better have a good tale to sell.” Purpled snapped, not looking at them.
Tubbo’s heart leapt. He squeezed Tommy’s hand, not quite believing himself that he had done it. That his friend was at his side and safe. That in front of them was a safe place to rest. Tommy smirked at him, tilting his head in a silent go ahead. Tubbo smiled, pulling Tommy out of the night and into the warm firelight of the house.
One day, he will hold Tommy as the other tells his story. The story that Tubbo missed. And there will be tears and anger at the Fey that invaded their lives. They will talk about the hurt of betrayal, the craving for love. And they will rest at each other’s sides and know that the world couldn’t tear them apart.
But right now, they have a story to tell.
“Once upon a time, two boys were going home-”