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“I’m just saying, if you were a little more like the myths, we wouldn’t be here right now.”
Peter turned around slowly to give Stiles a deadpan stare, before moving to look back at the rack of dildos they had been staring intently at for the last five minutes. The clerk at front had taken one look at Peter’s put-upon expression and Stiles’ wide and happy grin, and had decided that they would be able to help themselves.
Which might also have to do with them being regulars and actually managing to get a store discount on lube. The clerks were very impressed with the amount they went through. Stiles’ ass less so.
“I mean, everything I read indicated that you’d have…you know…” Stiles flailed as he tried to get his meaning across without actually saying the word, almost nailing Peter in the face with the packaged dildo he was holding.
One of the clerks roaming the store choked on a laugh and scampered off before Peter could turn his glare on them.
“If you can’t say it, Stiles, we’re definitely not buying it. And stop calling your bestiality stories myths, they’re just fiction.”
“It wasn’t only fiction! Okay, it was mostly fiction, but you’re part wolf, man! It’s not that weird a conclusion to reach.”
“And you didn’t think to ask me before bringing it up in bed?” That had not been fun for Peter, as Stiles had immediately gone into research mode while he had still been balls deep in his boy. Talk about blue balls. Which still hadn’t been resolved. Because apparently a trip to the adult store three towns over was more important than him getting off.
“Well, I didn’t want to seem like I wanted you just for that, cause I don’t. And I did think to ask Mr. Argent if he knew whether it was a myth or not!”
Peter paused, trying and failing to visualize that conversation in his head.
“And what did Christopher have to say to that?”
Stiles shrugged a little, standing on his tiptoes to put the dildo he’d been holding back on the rack.
“I dunno, he slammed the door in my face just after I asked.”
“Imagine that.”
“So have you found one yet?”
Peter looked wistfully at the ropes on the rack besides him, wondering whether he could get away with strangling his lover with it. Probably not. Too much witnesses.
“Have you figured out how to say the word yet?”
“Dick!” Peter ducked a little so as not to catch a fleshlight in the eye, absentmindedly reaching out to steady Stiles after all his flailing around even as he pulled the toy out of his hands and placed it back. “You know what I mean!”
“If you can’t say it, you can’t have it.”
Stiles tried to mulishly stare him down, but Peter had played this game often enough — with Stiles, over nearly every little thing they disagreed on — and Peter usually won in the end.
It helped that Stiles was a little bit of a nymphomaniac, and Peter had definitely lucked out with that, so in the end sex would always win out over Stiles’ apprehension of actually mentioning sex.
Not that he would every deny his pretty boy anything, of course not. What Stiles wanted, Stiles definitely got. And this particular toy would be fun for both of them — though Peter was sure Stiles had no idea just how he was planning on using their new toy. The boy definitely should not have brought it up before he got off.
“Fine. Have you found a kn—” Stiles cut himself off as he looked around, flushing a little to make sure no one was looking, “knotted one yet?”
A delighted grin spread across Peter’s face, as he reached over to pet Stiles on the head a little condescendingly. He got a glare in return that was probably less threatening than Stiles’ wanted due to the high flush on his face.
“Still blushing after all these months, Stiles? You are adorable.” Peter deftly moved his hand out of the way as Stiles snapped at it, before grinning.
Turning a little, Peter started to reach up to grab the toy he had seen and immediately hidden minutes ago, when a voice suddenly cut in from behind him.
“Excuse me,” an woman about Peter’s age was frowning at both of them, before sniffing a little and turning to look at Stiles, “could you point me to the organic lubricants section?”
Stiles looked taken aback, mouthing ‘organic lubricant’ at Peter with a questioning look in his eyes. Why was this woman asking him for organic anything? In a porn store?
The woman seemed to take Stiles’ glance to mean that the boy didn’t know, and instead turned to Peter after scowling at Stiles.
“You then, do you know where they are? Those water based and silicone based lubricants are over there, but have you seen the ingredients in those bottles? How can you even think of selling that to customers, it’s clear that—”
“Ma’am,” Peter politely interrupted, which meant that he was about three seconds away from digging his claws in her intestines, “there is a section with organic lubes besides the counter, I’m sure the clerks there—”
“Oh no, you don’t just get to waive me off to some teeny-bopper who has never had sexual intercourse before!”
The lady had an incensed look on her face, but Peter was slightly distracted by Stiles mouthing the word ‘teeny-bopper’ incredulously. This is what they got for going out to the store wearing standard black T-shirts, even if his showed an indecent amount of cleavage — Stiles’ words, not his.
Apparently, they would be mistaken for workers.
A short glance at the front showed that, as always, the people who actually worked here were wearing pink shirts. He shouldn’t judge so soon though, the lady might just be color blind.
“Well, there’s nothing wrong with using silicone lube, ma’am.” Stiles decided to bud in, and Peter only barely kept from face-palming. Great. Stiles decided to engage.
“I can’t believe how you can say something like that, young man!” The woman truly looked shocked to the core, hand fluttering a little where it hovered over her fake breasts. “It should be forbidden to use such ridiculous ingredients while having intercourse, why, my husband Herbert—”
Stiles sent Peter a terrified look, silently begging for his help as the woman’s sexual relations with her husband got unloaded on him. Peter pretended to suddenly be highly interested in the paddles he saw on the other side of the store, barely able to keep his lips from stretching into a wide grin.
Though those paddles did give him plenty of ideas. He might have to pick one up on their way out. Probably the loud pink one
“—and oh, when Herbert and I went on our honeymoon, there was this wonderful moment that would have been absolutely ruined by such second rate — no! Third rate lubricant—”
She just didn’t shut up. Stiles had started attempting to blend in with the rack of dildos he was standing in front of, and clerks were looking at their row with sympathetic amusement on their faces. They weren’t going to step in, of course, none of them wanted to deal with that.
“Ma’am!” Stiles finally had to shout to be heard over her story of the time she and Herbert went to the Caribbeans and went into a store where they only sold silicone based lubricant, the hooligans. “I don’t fucking care if you want to shove peanut butter up your hoohah or want to go down on the entire vegetable section! Peter and I use silicone based lube and we haven’t died yet. Now can we please continue shopping for a giant fucking dildo so that I can proceed to shove it up my ass with silicone fucking lubricant?!”
Peter snorted loudly from where he had finally slipped a humongous knotted dildo into their basket, along with what seemed to be a sleeve for his dick with a knot at the base. He’d give his boy the choice of the two for tonight, he had definitely deserved it.
But he also deserved a good paddling for leaving him high and dry.
Hmm, decisions.
“Why I never—”
“Oh shut up, please! My boyfriend and I are just trying to shop, we even tried to point you to the register so you can talk to the clerks, but — argh! Peter, can we be not here?”
A clerk appeared out of the woodwork at Stiles’ magic words, and shooed them off with a wink behind the fuming woman’s back.
“Please tell me you at least — Oh good.”
Peter had anticipated Stiles’ question and just showed him the cock sleeve, taking it from the basket and waving it around a little before putting it back in. He definitely didn’t do it just so he could enjoy hearing the woman choke on her own saliva.
As for the other not so little toy, Stiles’ have to wait to see that.
Glancing at Stiles from the corner of his eyes, Peter put another couple bottles of lube, silicone based ones, in their basket. His darling boy would need it if he was going to take a knot tonight.