Safety in Numbers
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Summary
Active players have started waking up in bed with retired players who wore the same number when they need relationship advice. It goes some kind of way.
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Teemu pulls back and kicks forward at the same time so violently that he knocks both Paul and Ovechkin out of the bed.
Series
- Part 1 of Safety in Numbers
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Now Sergei Fedorov is starting to worry about the structural integrity of his bed.
Series
- Part 2 of Safety in Numbers
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Summary
Another entry in the Active Players Magical Wake Up in Bed with Retired Players who Wear the Same Number when They Need Help series.
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When Dylan's number was 20, he would sometimes magically wake up in Luc Robitaille's bed and they'd get mimosas. Now that Dylan's number is 17, he has no idea who's bed he'll be in when he wakes up the day after he gets into a fight with Connor.WASN'T EXPECTING WAYNE GRETZKY, THOUGH.
Series
- Part 3 of Safety in Numbers
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Active player with relationship troubles and the retired players who wore the same number and are now magically obligated to be a therapist: the saga continues.
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Wearing matching numbers with your boyfriend is all fun and games, until you get into a fight and both wake up in bed with Eric Lindros.
Series
- Part 4 of Safety in Numbers
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In a world where active hockey players wake up in bed with retired players who wear the same number for advice, it was only a matter of time before 'hockey crush' turned into 'horny' and 'advice' turned into 'a blowjob'.
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Aaron takes a very cold shower and feels more sane. Then he realizes that the shirt and sweatpants that Nick Lidstrom has given him are both Team Sweden issues, and they both feel like they’ve been worn.Aaron is no longer sane.
Series
- Part 5 of Safety in Numbers
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In a world where active players wake up in bed with retired players who wore the same number when they need help, you might be tempted to think that every player automatically has the perfect buddy waiting for them.
You would be wrong, because Pierre Turgeon only wore 87 for two season when he absolutely had to, and he's still been stuck with Sidney Crosby for thirteen years.
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And here is the thing: Sid is a wreck. A well put together wreck, a wreck who was good at faking it, but a wreck none the less.
He shows up every 11 days, because he can’t make a decision about anything by himself. At least he always knows why he’s there, which does save Pierre a great deal of time.
Series
- Part 6 of Safety in Numbers
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Summary
When active players have relationship problems, and turn up in bed with retired players in need of help, you can never be sure exactly what they're going to need.
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“What’s wrong with my dick?” says Mitch angrily.
“There’s nothing wrong with your dick!" says BizNasty, "Or at least I hope there isn’t, I don’t know shit about that. The problem is this picture.”
“What’s wrong with the picture?”
“You’re holding your dick up next to a red bull can, in really dark lighting, with dirty hockey shit in the background. That’s what's wrong with it.”
Series
- Part 7 of Safety in Numbers