Reload?
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Summary
The urge to let Alyx, Kleiner, or Eli find him like that, dead on the concrete (if Gordon was just going to leave him on the ground), was a thought that was faint and distant but it was there.
He blinks, and he’s standing up again.
The crowbar in his other hand. Gordon on the floor below him. Gordon tilted his head, like he was waiting for something. Waiting for Barney to speak or do anything. But Barney’s mouth was dry. Confused. Angry. Confused again. What?
A.K.A. Gordon gets pent up and stressed and needs a release for it. Thank god for resets! (His former best friend takes the brunt of it.)
Barney remembers. Gordon doesn't know that.
Series
- Part 1 of Reload?
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Summary
[Need a better look at you. Sorry.] He takes one of his hands off to sign. Barney is forced to arch his back to accommodate the metal he’s leaning on and can’t find any opportunity to squirm when Gordon pulls back the clothing on the bad arm. The shockstick left an ugly lash.
Feels raw when Gordon touches it, but if he winces, then it only gives Gordon a reason to touch him more.
A.K.A. The second time it happens. Set in Chapter "Follow Freeman" where Gordon saves Barney from getting pinned by snipers.
Series
- Part 2 of Reload?
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Summary
Barney swallows thickly. “Tell me what, doc?”
[The things I do to you, Barney.] Gordon continues. [Sometimes, I wonder how you would react to it. But you never remember, and I’m always too ashamed to stick around and see.]
Ashamed?
“Not getting what you’re putting out here, Gordon.” Barney bites his tongue. He wonders how it would feel to connect the barrel of a pistol to Gordon’s head. “You gotta clarify for me.”
A.K.A. Gordon wants to thank him for being such a nice, unaware fleshlight.
(I don't know how many times it's going to happen, but I'm not going to write time #3. Valve will arrest me.)
Series
- Part 3 of Reload?
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Summary
Right. The cat. Alyx sits down at a nearby chair, somewhere behind Kleiner, then puts her head in her hands. “Yeah-yeah. Gotta be.”
Screw that fucking cat. Kleiner wasn’t taking her, any of this, seriously. Something is deeply wrong with Barney.
A.K.A. How Barney Calhoun has changed through the eyes of Alyx Vance. (Like all parts of this series, this work can be read as stand-alone.)
Series
- Part 4 of Reload?
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Cause-Effect Relationships In The Mind (Of A Resistance Leader) by Anonymous
Fandoms: Half-Life (Video Games)
22 Oct 2025
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Summary
Gordon combs his fingers through his scalp, and Barney struggles to remember the last time he’s been touched by a hand that didn’t want to hurt him. No. Barney’s hand tries to grip the floor, but his gloved fingers simply slide across the concrete.
What the hell did Gordon have him drink?
A.K.A. A fic in which the save-and-load mechanic is canon and Gordon puts it to use by raping Barney repeatedly. Are there any consequences for doing it?
⚠︎ - For those who followed purely for the porn, this symbol means the chapter has explicit smut.
Series
- Part 5 of Reload?