1 - 20 of 82 Works in Acquisitions Inc.
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caveat emptor by canniballecters
Fandoms: Acquisitions Inc., Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game)
07 Aug 2025
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Summary
“We have been watching you with interest, Mr. Dran. Your predecessor–”
“Mr. Loupe,” Omin says automatically.
A hum of acknowledgment. “He was meant to train you. Apprentice you. What did he show you?”
“Very little, I suspect.” Admitting his inexperience stings, but Omin knows better than to lie to this entity. He also sees an opportunity for some hands-on mentorship.
“A shame. But no matter. We will make a fine consort of you yet, boy.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,529
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 4
- Hits:
- 27
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Little Essays by EssayWells
Fandoms: Acquisitions Incorporated, Penny Arcade, The C Team
06 Mar 2025
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Summary
During the break between season 1 and season 2 of Acq Inc: the C Team, I amused myself by writing a short piece of fanfic for each episode of season 1; over a month I wrote a piece each day for episodes 1 to 31. Fans of the show will hopefully pick up the references. Originally posted to Reddit, now posted to AO3; I will include a link to the original in each piece as a chapter.
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The Deepest Cut by HyperboreanTom
Fandoms: Acquisitions Inc., Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game), Penny Arcade (Webcomic), "Dice Camera Action!" D&D Campaign (Web Series)
24 Aug 2024
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Summary
It's a Perkinverse extravaganza and AU where everyone has to deal with Binwin's death. Alternate title: Hill Dwarf Elegy.
Series
- Part 1 of The Deepest Cut
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Under Dark New Management by EssayWells
Fandoms: Penny Arcade, Acquisitions Incorporated, The C Team
29 Aug 2023
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Summary
A traveller finds shelter in the night below the earth at a hostelry run by an unusual proprietor.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,518
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Hits:
- 6
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EPA battle speech: Drak Han by EssayWells
Fandoms: Penny Arcade, Acquisitions Inc., The C Team
27 Aug 2023
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Summary
In a recent fanfic (The Warden of her heart), I had ancient EPA warriors say a few words and phrases in an invented “battle-tongue”. Then I sort of took it too far. This is the result. If you want to use it in stories, feel free. Message me on @EssayWells on Twitter if you want help constructing phrases. What have I done.
Much credit to Mark Rosenfelder (zompist.com) whose books on language construction were of great help, I recommend.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,045
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Hits:
- 81
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The Warden of her Heart by EssayWells
Fandoms: Acquisitions Inc., Penny Arcade, The C Team
27 Aug 2023
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Summary
In the ancient days of the Enclave Panax Anima, Sythia and Vervain experience intimacy and loss.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,259
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Hits:
- 5
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Summary
An insider's view of events in the Tomb of Annihilation when Acquisitions Incorporated crashed the party.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,279
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 1
- Hits:
- 9
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First Blood in Skolla by EssayWells
Fandoms: Acquisitions Incorporated, The C Team, Penny Arcade
21 Aug 2023
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Summary
Fanfic for Acq Inc: The C Team, series 1. An exploration of the civil war in Skolla when the Tiamat cults broke cover.
Originally posted to Reddit:
https://www.reddit.com/r/TheCTeam/comments/7liz8l/first_blood_in_skolla/
Now posted to AO3
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,326
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Hits:
- 21
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Beyond Human Conception by EssayWells
Fandoms: Penny Arcade, Acquisitions Incorporated, The C Team
21 Aug 2023
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Summary
A fanfic for Acq Inc: The C Team, in which Walnut and Brahma explore how powerful D&D magic might help a lesbian couple start a family.
Originally posted to Reddit:
https://www.reddit.com/r/TheCTeam/comments/7khm3v/beyond_human_conception/
Now posted to AO3.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,103
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Hits:
- 12
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A seasonal titbit by EssayWells
Fandoms: Penny Arcade (Webcomic), Acquisitions Intoxicated, The C Team
21 Aug 2023
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Summary
A little piece for the festive season, to be chanted by fans of Penny Arcade/Acquisitions Intoxicated, to the metre of the intro to The C Team. Multifandom deep dive here, folks. Season's Greetings.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 153
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Hits:
- 7
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Summary
At the end of season 1 of the C Team, I gave some thought to how the story might end given only what we knew at the time. Of course, the actual course of the show over the next three seasons didn't resemble this at all! We still thought the Sanguilith was the Big Bad, how naive we were. But I liked working with the characters and I still think this one is a decent read.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,714
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Hits:
- 12
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Summary
A deeply non-canonical version of how things *could* have played out after Walnut fed Oak's ring to Coriander the mecha/plant horse.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,558
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Hits:
- 6
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Elements: for Walnut and Brahma by EssayWells
Fandoms: Acquisitions Inc., The C Team, Penny Arcade
06 Aug 2023
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Summary
A poem for Walnut and Brahma when they met and parted in Skolla. I felt they needed some kind of encouragement.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 621
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Hits:
- 6
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Chronaar: Goodpapa story by EssayWells
Fandoms: Acquisitions Inc., The C Team, Penny Arcade
06 Aug 2023
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Summary
Remember when Chronaar was climbing all over Donaar in Skolla and played with Cappy? This is how that conversation went.
If none of that made sense to you I couldn't even try to explain the context.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 881
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Hits:
- 7
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Summon Steed: Blit'zen Pieces by EssayWells
Fandoms: Acquisitions Inc., The C Team, Penny Arcade
05 Aug 2023
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Summary
Why DID it take so long for Donaar to Summon Steed after he levelled up as a Paladin? Well, apparently it may not come easily on the first try.
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Summary
A poem in tribute to C Team season 1 episode 26. One of the most life-changing performances I've ever witnessed, and they did it in D&D. Who knew.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 601
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Hits:
- 7
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Summary
Resulting from the epic events of C Team season 1 episode 23, and Walnut's apotheosis as an avatar of Mielikki. Kudos to Jerry for setting up an incredible chapter in the story, and to Amy and Kris for roleplaying at the highest level. May my labours please you.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 603
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Hits:
- 7
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The Wild Shapes of Danklute by EssayWells
Fandoms: Acquisitions Inc., The C Team, Penny Arcade
05 Aug 2023
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Summary
This is the first piece of fanfic I wrote for #cteam. It was inspired by the intensely heated Brahma/Walnut interchange in season 1 episode 17 (“Wolf…”). I originally sent it to CTeamSlashFic and we placed a link on the reddit, but did not post the text. Now it exists on the reddit, and also here on AO3.
It’s very much erotic slashfic and thoroughly, no kidding, NSFW; but it has some character points which I think have held up pretty well over the season. We found out in episode 19 that there wasn’t really time for this to happen in the game chronology… but with causality being violated in all directions, I’m not letting that worry me.
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Summary
A critical event in the childhood of the Dran siblings.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,040
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Hits:
- 8
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The Shadownaar years: Blit'zen Pieces by EssayWells
Fandoms: Acquisitions Incorporated, The C Team, Penny Arcade
05 Aug 2023
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Summary
Donaar's tedious experiences in the shadow realm after Rosie traded him to the shadow lizardfolk.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,309
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Hits:
- 8