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Marriage, Murder, and Other Misfortunes by Spookyandcooky
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
07 Sep 2025
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Summary
Five years after the Battle of Hogwarts, the wizarding world is what you might call “a godsdamned mess.” The population is dwindling, the economy is suffering, and Hermione Granger has decided to pursue an arranged marriage—but only so she can be nominated to the antiquated Wizengamot, of course. After all, the Wizengamot is ignoring the world’s problems, and Hermione is determined to fix them. Granted, she never expected to be matched with Draco sodding Malfoy—the newest DMLE consultant who wears his Azkaban tattoos as proudly as his childhood sneer. But admittedly, between the turbulence of her farcical relationship, corrupt politicians, and a serial killer on the loose, nothing in Hermione’s life is going according to plan. Maybe hate sex with her husband will help?
[Updates every 1-2 weeks]
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 228,240
- Chapters:
- 32/38
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,845
- Kudos:
- 3,654
- Bookmarks:
- 2,703
- Hits:
- 284,890
Bookmarked by Crocs42
19 Jul 2025
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Summary
The war is over, but the wizarding world lies in ruin, its heart rotting under the iron grip of Draco Malfoy, the White Serpent. Leading the Serpentes a savage gang of war orphans forged in blood and fear.
Draco rules with ruthless precision, flanked by the unhinged Theo Nott and the calculating Blaise Zabini. In a decaying Diagon Alley, they find Hermione Granger, battered and broken, her vibrant spirit dulled by hidden scars and betrayal. Whisking her to the hollow grandeur of Malfoy Manor, the Serpentes uncover the extent of her suffering old wounds masked by her healer’s cunning.What follows is a dark odyssey no one could foresee.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 60,203
- Chapters:
- 15/?
- Comments:
- 939
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- 3,067
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- 1,808
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- 138,051
Bookmarked by Crocs42
08 Jul 2025
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Summary
Malfoy’s growl-like exhale brought her attention back to him. "If you go all bleeding-heart on me, I'm leaving you here."
She snapped her eyes back to his. "Wait…You’ll take me?"
In answer, he glared at her while he dug the small bag from his pocket and tipped its contents into his palm, leaving a tiny wooden star there.
Hermione only stared at his proffered hand, the shock of his decision to allow her to join him sending her body into an immobilized state.
"Twelve seconds, Granger."
Before she could think of a better option, Hermione placed her own hand into his palm, almost as if she were accepting an invitation to dance with him.
His hand was warm against hers, and despite the absurdity of the circumstances, her body slowly uncoiled in relief, anticipating the balm to her raw nerves the quiet forest was sure to provide.
Or
Hermione and Draco attend the same magi-scientific field study in the Forbidden Forest and decide the strange reactions they begin to have to each other are the perfect excuse to indulge in things they typically wouldn’t consider.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 140,385
- Chapters:
- 41/42
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 676
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- 1,147
- Bookmarks:
- 385
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- 57,298
Bookmarked by Crocs42
05 Jun 2025
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Summary
Two years after divorce, Hermione Granger was finally learning how to love herself. At thirty-three, Hermione was ready to take her life back in her hands and do the things that would bring her the joy and happiness that had been put on the back burner her entire life.
During a Fall Out Boy concert, Hermione's life takes an unexpected turn. Approached by two boys who are seemingly too young for her, she hesitates. But with a nudge from her best friend, she decides to embrace the moment. Little did she know, this encounter was just the beginning of a new chapter.
Much to her surprise, seven months later, while visiting Lavender in Vegas and sitting rink side at her first ever hockey game, who appears in front of her on the ice, but none other than the two boys she'd tried forgetting about, Draco Malfoy and Theodore Nott. Now that they've found her again, the boys have made it clear they never intend on letting her out of their sights ever again.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 80,289
- Chapters:
- 21/30
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 284
- Kudos:
- 643
- Bookmarks:
- 208
- Hits:
- 25,353
Bookmarked by Crocs42
06 Apr 2025
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Summary
The war had ended. Draco and Theo were happy. The world was safe and the heros had emerged victorious. That was, until the Golden Girl began fading from view, disappearing from society, only to turn up at St. Mungos bloody, bruised and broken.
The boys decided they would never let her feel that pain again. Not if they could help it. And the only way to fix it was to change her life. They would have to start from the beginning of the end.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 126,442
- Chapters:
- 27/?
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 695
- Kudos:
- 1,647
- Bookmarks:
- 535
- Hits:
- 70,592
Bookmarked by Crocs42
30 Mar 2025