DapperFatCat
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Christmas Crack by iwritetragediesnotsin for DapperFatCat
Fandoms: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
30 Dec 2025
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Summary
Spike has resigned himself to being Santa once a year, so those bleedin elves will leave him alone for 10 months if he doesn’t kill anyone. No matter what he does, he can’t shake the Clause: the beard, the belly, or the magic that turns any punk clothes he buys into ugly Christmas sweaters.
To Buffy, the Slayer of Slayers seems like an old vampire desperately trying to reclaim his youth with a mess of a beard and too terrible of an attitude to be Jolly St. Nick. Not like Spike’s much of a Saint.
Though, from what Willow told her, the real St. Nick got into a fight at some kind of meeting, right? He can’t be that old, though.
Witness Christmas magic, Spike trying to goad people into killing him to rid himself of the Clause, elves putting up with his shit, elves not realising Willow cast a spell and Buffy is not Mrs. Claus, Riley getting jealous over a fat old vampire and then getting mad at himself for being jealous of a fat old vampire, the elves trying to matchmake Giles & Ethan to convince Giles to kill Spike and become Santa, and more!
Bookmarked by DapperFatCat
26 Dec 2025