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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    The first sound Ilya hears is a thin, discordant symphony of beeps and whirs. Something vibrating. 

    The next thing he hears is…wet. A sort of shaking, gargling sound, that feels like the ugliest crying he’s ever heard. And through it, Shane’s voice. 

    “I’m with him now, mom. He’s— he’s not fine. He’s not. I know—”

    Ilya wants to ask who's not fine, but he can’t feel his own body, his mouth, enough to ask.

    “Yeah,” Shane is saying, only slightly calmer. “I know. He wasn’t breathing—"

    Ilya knows there's a link, between the clinical musicality of medical settings, Shane’s audible, awful distress, and his own physical incapacity. It’s just, it’s so tenuous, and the air around him is so thick, so heavy. It would be easy, to sleep, a little. 

    -
    Footage of the last game between Ottawa and Montreal is everywhere; it’s breached containment from the sports world, and now it seems like everyone is baying for Montreal’s blood. Except, Ilya is oblivious. Not exactly blissfully so, but as the fight for accountability within the league rages on without him, Ilya just wants someone, anyone, to tell him what happened.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    90,785
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Collections:
    2
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    1,175
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    31 May 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane has married Ilya, a known chaos monster, with a penchant for fast cars and designer clothes. Shane has spent his life making sure he was financially responsible. Now it's time to merge these two different approaches to money management; It does not go the way Shane thinks it will.

    They had been married for 32 days.

    And now was the big conversation: estate planning, their assets, and what combining them would look like.

    Shane had found a financial planner. Had set the appointment.

    He was, after all, Shane Hollander; he had approached his financial future with all of the key characteristics of a Hollander. His mom had guided his career, negotiating sizable contracts for him, and his father worked for the Treasury. It was in his blood.

    Ilya, meanwhile, had approached today's meeting with the same organizational energy he brought to most things in his life, except hockey: confident, yet chaotic, and generally not stressed out about whether things would work out in his favor.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,050
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    177
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    1,643
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    31 May 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane and Ilya share a room for one snowed-in week at hockey camp.

    or an au where Ilya wakes up horny next to his rival and has to hump his bed about it

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,215
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    62
    Kudos:
    840
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    182
    Hits:
    10,432

    31 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane Hollander arrives in Vegas with a question he hasn’t spoken out loud.

    It isn’t complicated, exactly. It’s just the kind of question that requires honesty he isn’t sure he’s ready for - about what he and Ilya Rozanov have been doing for the past few years, about what six months of silence after Sochi actually meant, and about whether any of it is worth staying close to or whether he finally needs to go.

    He gets his answer in a locked bathroom at the NHL Awards.

    Ilya spends the summer convinced that Shane is fine. Upset? Yes. Angry? Definitely. But Shane always felt things fiercely despite what everyone said about him when he had his back turned. He’d calm down over the summer and then he’d be there like he always had been. He fills the silence with discipline and routine and the comfortable certainty that later is still available to him.

    He’s wrong.

    By the time Ilya understands what he actually lost, Shane is already gone; and Ilya is left trying to find a way back to someone who closed the door long before Ilya had ever thought to just walk through it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    77,974
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    156
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    681
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    221
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    12,854

    27 May 2026

  5. Public Bookmark 96

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    Shane Hollander works late nights at the university library, survives primarily on caffeine and sarcasm, and has very strong opinions about cardigans.

    Ilya Rozanov is an international hockey recruit with terrible APA formatting, a dangerous smile, and an increasingly obvious crush on the exhausted grad student helping him survive English composition.

    What starts as tutoring slowly turns into coffee deliveries, stolen kisses between the stacks, emotional support cardigans, and an alarming amount of flirting on university property.

    Or: the library AU where Shane accidentally falls in love with a hockey player and everybody notices immediately. Except maybe Shane

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,628
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    36
    Kudos:
    410
    Bookmarks:
    96
    Hits:
    2,886

    26 May 2026