Sansonnette
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Summary
Lavender takes one step forward and – just like the snap of a finger, the blink of an eye, the drop of a pebble – Hogwarts is left behind. There's no jump, no flashes of light, no whirlwinds of disconnected images. Just one little step; behind stood her war and in front stands 1947. "Huh," she says to herself, "didn't see this in the tea leaves."
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Tom Riddle takes his coffee black and plays in a rock and roll band.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,500
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 84
- Kudos:
- 1,232
- Bookmarks:
- 234
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Bookmarked by Sansonnette
27 Feb 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Reminiscent of the TR x HG buying condoms at boots fic (in the best way)
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Nothing says friendship like insisting everyone leave you alone so you can focus on fixing the second-floor lavatory.
(Or: How one Slytherin stumbled into saving the wizarding world and somehow got the Black brothers to have a civil conversation.)
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“The floo flashed green and Charlie tumbled out into Theo’s bedroom. Theo was holding his breath and chewing his lower lip and staring all at once. He hadn’t unblocked the bedroom floo in years. Charlie’s loose curls looked windswept, his freckled face expectant. He was already starting to smile.”—Chapter 21, BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC
A one shot about what happens when Theo Nott lets Charlie Weasley into his haunted house, inspired by BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC
Series
- Part 4 of Related to BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC
Bookmarked by Sansonnette
30 Dec 2025
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Summary
“In my humble opinion there’s only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic.” And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three.
When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt’s controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other—their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press.
Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione’s attention and pines for a real marriage with her—even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco’s blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body.
(With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson’s career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione’s Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco’s right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.)
Series
- Part 1 of THE BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC SERIES
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 195,969
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Comments:
- 7,407
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- 30,218
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- 1,813,379
Bookmarked by Sansonnette
30 Dec 2025