Useless_Author_Type
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Brevity and Opulence by loveindirtytrenchcoats
Fandoms: James Bond (Craig Movies), SPECTRE (2015), James Bond - All Media Types
31 Dec 2015
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There’s no time to grab anything to defend himself with, because the first hinge on the door snaps open with a bang, and the second follows on the next hit. The door rips backwards, thrown to the floor by the same man Q had been in the ski lift with, who smiles menacingly and draws a knife from his jacket. The Quartermaster wonders how long it will take for James to realise he’s missing.
Before the henchman even gets in his first hit, Q knows it’ll be too late.
[SPECTRE semi-rewrite, inspired by the well known draft script]
Bookmarked by Useless_Author_Type
15 Feb 2026
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“No. Get belowground. Go now!”
“Q, there isn’t enough—”
“Then run. I’ve thought of something. I’ll explain later, now go, go on, go!”
Q thought he had to save one man from missiles. Then he had to save two from Heracles.
Bookmarked by Useless_Author_Type
11 Feb 2026
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Sequel to: you’re a holy fool all colored blue.
Home, for James, was once a shoulder holster in a foreign country, women he didn’t know and regularly forgot, the London skyline outside his window, a martini shaken just right, and a suit so sharp, marks sometimes cut themselves on his edges. Home, now, is a person, is pizza after a long day, an entire cabinet full of tea, soft pillows and a warm mouth across his shoulders—it’s still London, but home is a flat he shares, a bed where he fights for blankets, the permanent indent of a book spine resting against his ribs, and he’s finally done running away.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 76,325
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Comments:
- 338
- Kudos:
- 1,807
- Bookmarks:
- 573
- Hits:
- 24,453
Bookmarked by Useless_Author_Type
07 Feb 2026
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you're a holy fool all colored blue by sleeponrooftops
Fandoms: James Bond - All Media Types
11 Jun 2017
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Sequel to: oh mercy, I implore.
On the inhale, James decides that this life—lazy Sunday mornings, the persistent smell of bergamot, ink dark skin under his mouth, and Q breath’s across his bones—is worth infinitely more than all MI-6 has to offer. On the exhale, M sentences him to certain death—months of deep undercover, endlessly dark days where Q’s voice won’t be in his ear, the post-Spectre tidying up that James thought they’d somehow avoided.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,433
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 65
- Kudos:
- 1,009
- Bookmarks:
- 215
- Hits:
- 20,444
Bookmarked by Useless_Author_Type
06 Feb 2026
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Q wonders, briefly, how James could possibly think this is an appropriate time to profess his undying love—or whatever the hell it is he’s attempting to do; though, frankly, the skeleton suit did make him blink a bit stupidly at his laptop—but then something explodes to his left, and Q heaves a long-suffering sigh and snaps at him for ruining everything good in the world. James laughs and carries on wielding his Walther like it isn’t the 7500th replacement that Q has thrown at him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 70,033
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 280
- Kudos:
- 2,403
- Bookmarks:
- 977
- Hits:
- 47,998
Bookmarked by Useless_Author_Type
06 Feb 2026