Valyra
Recent bookmarks
-
Tags
Summary
Something other than a giant, alien brain festers in the city of Baldur's Gate. From dead men wandering the sewers, to soulless patriars scheming from their gilded palaces, something vile has taken root to consume all it touches.
To save a city that's deemed them criminals (and to save their own asses), these two losers must cheat, stab, and flirt their way to the heart of the rot and carve it out, piece by festering piece. And figure out what, exactly, they mean to each other.
Series
- Part 4 of these two shitheads
Bookmarked by Valyra
28 Mar 2026
-
Tags
Summary
Astarion’s coming to your tent every night with honeyed nothings on his tongue. Trouble is, you’re starting to smell hints of bullshit. The closer y’all get, the further apart you feel. And then there’s the fucking brainworm cult.
These two losers must cheat, stab, and flirt their way to the heart of a cult. And to…whatever it is between them.
Series
- Part 3 of these two shitheads
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 192,408
- Chapters:
- 104/104
- Comments:
- 3,455
- Kudos:
- 3,088
- Bookmarks:
- 283
- Hits:
- 118,568
Bookmarked by Valyra
25 Dec 2024
-
Tags
Summary
“Maybe what you really need is a friend, not a lover.”
Astarion’s eyes flutter with surprise. “I-I would like that. I’ve held more people than I can count. An infinite parade of lovers. But a friend?” He pauses on the question and his face becomes crestfallen. “I can’t think of a single one.”
He puts his hand out to Effy, to which she happily accepts.
“Until you,” he says with a smile—that only she’s ever seen.
Ever since that moment the two remained friends and even got an apartment together in the Lower City shortly after defeating the Netherbrain.
It’s been several months since; and Effy is still happily living with her vampire bestie, but Astarion’s been acting different lately…
Series
- Part 1 of Something Else Entirely
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 268,182
- Chapters:
- 27/?
- Comments:
- 1,727
- Kudos:
- 1,318
- Bookmarks:
- 296
- Hits:
- 58,679
Bookmarked by Valyra
24 Jan 2024
-
Tags
Summary
After tripping a mad wizard’s trap, Astarion—now blinded—must navigate the Underdark with Eleanor back to their crew. These two shitheads must cheat, stab, and flirt their way through flooded caves, monsters, and something hunting them in the dark. All while very confusing feelings begin to muddle up Astarion’s Very Simple plan.
Sequel to Feeding Alligators
Series
- Part 2 of these two shitheads
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 109,532
- Chapters:
- 43/43
- Comments:
- 1,724
- Kudos:
- 2,658
- Bookmarks:
- 309
- Hits:
- 68,506
Bookmarked by Valyra
06 Jul 2024
-
Tags
Summary
Druidic Tav grew up in a nomadic clan that recorded their history through spoken word and song rather than written text. As such, she's illiterate, and one charming-ish vampire offers to help her with reading lessons and a whole lot more. Out of the goodness of his heart, of course.
Then one night, she unwittingly brings him smut for their lesson.
---
"In the Embrace... of... the... Nig... Nig-het..."
"Night, sweet thing," Astarion says softly. "G beside H is silent."
"Right," Tav says, looking again. "So, In the Embrace of the Night... stalker."
"Try again."
Tav studies the letters. She spots her mistake. "Nightsucker."
Astarion nods.
She looks very pleased with herself, beaming at him. "Got it! What's the problem, again?"
The vampire closes his eyes and holds his hands in prayer position in front of his lips as if he's steeling himself. He opens his scarlet eyes and moves his hands away. "Shall I read you a page or two to start? Maybe then you'll understand."
Bookmarked by Valyra
10 May 2024