Xerp
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“Harpoons, harpoons, they’re better than spoons.”
He was almost to his bedroom door when he saw someone crouched at the handle.
Tom stopped dead. The humming cut off mid-note.
A figure hunched over the lock, fingers working something thin and metal into the mechanism. They were backlit by the faint glow seeping from under Tom’s door—the only light in the hallway—and for a second Tom’s brain cycled through possibilities: burglar, Matt’s clone, hallucination from the expired milk he’d had with his cereal.
Tom’s grip tightened on the harpoon. The shaft went slick under his palm.
He raised it slowly, leveling the point at the intruder’s back. The tip hovered inches from their spine. Behind him, he heard Edd’s footsteps in the hall—stopping short.
“Who goes there?” Tom barked.
_____The End AU where Tord comes back and does not destroy the house.
Bookmarked by Xerp
23 Feb 2026
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After one to many deaths on Jokers hands, the doctors in Arkham Asylum had only one choice
But was it really ethical?Bookmarked by Xerp
20 Feb 2026
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He hesitated, hesitated but nonetheless replied, “I got blasted by cuddle pollen. It’s why I tripped. It’s why I got caught.”
The line went dead silent.
Tim clenched his fists as the pale figure uncovered his face. “I’m sorry.”
The line split off into a cacophony of sounds. But Tim couldn’t hear any of it, because the stone and crumbles of cement and wood slipped off the purple suit and the pale man sat up, a hand going to his sickeningly green hair.
He was trapped. Trapped within a building’s remains with a conscious Joker, dipped head-to-toe in cuddle pollen which was already starting to become close to unbearable without human touch.
OR
A cuddle-pollened Tim gets stuck in a collapsed building with the Joker.
Series
- Part 7 of Quo's Crazed Chocolate Milk-Induced Writing Challenge 2025
- Part 2 of The Apology for Whumptober Fluffuary Fics 2026
- Language:
- English
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- Chapters:
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- 5
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Bookmarked by Xerp
20 Feb 2026
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Then Barbara’s brain short circuits.
She has to be hallucinating.
Because there is no way. There is no way in the nine levels of hell that she has just watched Batman close the distance between his face and the Joker’s and fucking kiss him.
(or, Barbara has a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day).
Bookmarked by Xerp
20 Feb 2026
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Summary
After the events of 'Yes And', Batman and the Joker have a dispute about mental health. That fiasco was very close to what happened to Jason. Joker insists it wasn't. This evolves into a rather big tiff that ends in them breaking up. So the Joker starts stalking Dr Leland. Because he's going to PROVE he isn't a slave to his neurosis but the other way around!
Series
- Part 4 of Improv Rules
Bookmarked by Xerp
20 Feb 2026