dearest_victoria
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this is not enough (i am not enough) by blankjournals
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
08 Jan 2026
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Summary
Shane's breath catches on a sob, and he muffles the sound with his hand. Everything feels like too much. He’s naked, and he can feel entirely too much on his body, inside his body, and he hates how it's starting to feel gross. His head is pounding, and he can't even focus on placating his mind when his lungs are also screaming in his throat for breath.
Ilya hears, and his hands reach out to hold Shane, tension lying in every part of his body. “Shane—”
“Don't touch me,” Shane snaps, more desperation than yelling as he rips his arm out of Ilyas's grasp. His tears have nowhere to go now, and they finally spill over, hot and humiliating, down his cheeks.
Ilya freezes in place, hand hovering mid-air. A myriad of emotions flicker across his face: confusion, hurt, fear. Ilya takes an unconscious step back like someone shoved him. His body curls in on itself, trying to make himself appear smaller.
He looks... terrified. Like, Shane just called him a monster, and he believes it.
OR: inspired by the fight in the long game when ilya had told shane he could have sex with other men because he did not believe in cheating.
Series
- Part 2 of missing scenes from TLG 📖
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Summary
“Lily,” Hayden says automatically. “You know about Lily?”
Something flickers across Rozanov’s face. His jaw twitches. “Yes, I know about Lily.” He raises his eyebrows.
Hayden feels like a complete asshole, all of a sudden. There’s just been too much going on to even think about Shane’s mystery girlfriend. “Shit, I should probably, like, call her, or something? I don’t know this girl at all, but Shane’s been obsessed with her for years. If she was watching the game, she would have seen him get hurt.”
“You don’t need to call her,” Rozanov says, and when Hayden glances at him, he still looks fucking miserable but now he’s rolling his eyes, a much more familiar expression of disdain on his face. “She’s sitting right here.”
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Hayden Pike and Ilya Rozanov are waiting for Shane to wake up after he took a bad hit on the ice. They get to talking.Chapter 2: Ilya and Shane talk about what it means, now that someone knows their secret.
Chapter 3: Shane and Hayden hash out the big reveal.
Chapter 4: Ilya tells Svetlana the big secret. -
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Summary
Shane sends him a text that says 'thinking about your cock' with a picture of his rippling abs, and even though Ilya really appreciates the abs, all he can think about is the faint bruise blooming on Shane's ribs, and whether it hurts him very badly, and whether there's anything Ilya could do to make it hurt less, if he were there. He wants to be there, he realizes. He wants to be there for the rest of his life.
He has to duck out of the team weight room so he can cough up a fistful of petals.
So.
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Or: Ilya gets Hanahaki disease.
Series
- Part 6 of my anonymous heated rivalry fic
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Summary
“Be careful,” Shane frets, one hand hovering over Ilya’s shoulder. “It’s icy, and I don’t want to be a widower.”
“Oh, we’d have to be much higher than this for the fall to kill me,” Ilya says, gaze still fixed on the cool black skyline. “At least seven stories.”
It’s not until much later, as the waitress is clearing the dishes from dinner, that Yuna finds herself wondering why Ilya knows exactly how high a fall needs to be in order to kill him.
Or: Yuna learns about Ilya's past bit by bit over the years.
Series
- Part 7 of my anonymous heated rivalry fic
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Summary
As usual, Ilya waits for Shane for their post game hookup. There seems to be something off with Shane today, though.