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    Hermione Granger has spent the better part of a year living for the days when The Heir uploads a new audio on the audio erotica app Wicked. As a woman in her early thirties chasing down a Quidditch player to sign divorce papers, she thinks she deserves to do something for herself. And erotic audio from a man who knows what he’s doing is a perfectly acceptable form of self-care that only costs ten galleons a month. All things considered, her life couldn’t get worse.

    Draco Malfoy fears the day anyone discovers his secret: while he spends his days in his Auror uniform and helps chase down nefarious criminals, he then spends his evenings recording all the nefarious things he’d do to a particular witch if he got the chance. It started as a way to cope with how he felt every time he saw her and remembered the oaf she married. The success and subsequent compulsion to continue are happy consequences, not the justification he gives himself every night before bed.

    When news of Hermione’s divorce is leaked to the press, the line between their respective guilty pleasures and reality quickly begins to blur. What will happen when Draco flies too close to the sun, and Hermione starts to wonder what it might feel like to burn?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,582
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    656
    Kudos:
    1,606
    Bookmarks:
    508
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    03 May 2025

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