fumblefalls



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    It’s winter in Ottawa and Ilya has hunkered down in his big, empty mansion to weather a nasty flu. Then his phone buzzes.

    — Guardian™ Security Alert: Movement detected at front door
    — (1) Missed Call: Yuna Hollander

    Or: The Hollanders have a new son to take care of. Ilya has no idea what’s going on.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,296
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    623
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    16 Feb 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane and Ilya get married, file for joint annulment, torment Hayden Pike, play the world's longest game of Monopoly, visit the Montreal Biodome, and fall in love, in that order.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,705
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    100
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    271
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    16 Feb 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “Holy fucking shit, it all makes sense now. Lily is a dominatrix.”

    Or: Hayden is connecting the dots. Maybe.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,273
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    654
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    7,189
    Bookmarks:
    1,076
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    29,159

    15 Feb 2026

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  4. Public Bookmark *

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    When he presses the button on the doorbell, he hears the digitally-produced ding-dong echo from inside. There is a tiny box halfway up the adjacent wall that immediately beeps and emits Shane’s voice.
    “Hey, you can just leave it on the step, thanks.”
    Ilya presses his nose into the digital doorbell, which he knows to also contain a camera, and says, “Shane.”
    A pause.
    “What the fuck.”
    A brief cacophony of noise that Ilya can hear even from outside the house. The multiple successive thumps of something falling, Shane swearing loudly and the sound of what can only be a hockey game being paused on the television.
    He opens the door to reveal that he is nap-rumpled, wearing two pairs of socks and carrying a child in his arms. The only really surprising part is that the socks don’t match, though the child is interesting.

    Ilya takes an impromptu trip to Montreal. There are unforeseen consequences.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,752
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    107
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    1,784
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    303
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    11,301

    15 Feb 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    The part of Shane that is not panicking goes soft with how…eager Ilya seems for Shane and Svetlana to meet, for Shane to like her. It’s strange, it’s new, it’s wonderful to be able to think about making plans like this. Dinner with Shane’s parents, meeting Ilya’s friends, like that’s something they can have.

    So that’s why Shane beats down the urge to crank up the gas on the stove and light a match, gives Ilya a wide and normal grin, and says “Yeah, of course. I’d love to meet Svetlana.”

    Ilya sighs and his eyes light up and, oh, Shane wants to love him in the light of day. Suddenly, Shane has an idea that will hopefully stop him from doing something rash that will get him on the news and/or in prison. “And you should meet Rose!”

    or: shane hollander tries to get over his overwhelming urge to blow up svetlana vetrova with his mind at saturday brunch

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,786
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    178
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    3,361
    Bookmarks:
    512
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    18,643

    15 Feb 2026

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