happinessmachine
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Summary
“Hey, Scott, so, I uh, there’s this amazingly hot guy and I’m uh, gonna spend the weekend with him but, you know, just to be careful, I’m sending you his picture, so if by some terrible chance my bloated corpse shows up sometime Monday, just, y’know pass this along to the authorities.” He pauses. “Uh. Kidding?” and then hangs up with a rush of air.
“That is the worst voicemail in the history of voicemails,” Derek says.
Series
- Part 1 of The Last Traces of Smoke
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 37,353
- Chapters:
- 17/17
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 755
- Kudos:
- 9,660
- Bookmarks:
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Bookmarked by happinessmachine
31 Jan 2026
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Bookmarker's Notes
ik this is mostly porn but the plot part is so goooooood
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Puzzle Pieces by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella) for kalika_999
Fandoms: Teen Wolf (TV)
01 Jun 2020
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“Okay.” Stiles glanced at his phone, wincing at the battery being close to ten percent. It was probably time to call Scott. Turning off the flashlight, mostly to save battery and kind of freaking out over how dark it was—though the half-moon reflecting off the snow helped a bit—he opened his contacts with shaking hands and scrolled through to Scott’s name. Once he hit it, he put the phone to his ear, looking around, and froze.
The phone rang in his ear, but his eyes were locked on something big and moving through the trees.
Oh no. Oh no, no, no.
If that was a fucking bear, Stiles was fucked!
The line kept ringing and ringing, but Scott didn’t answer. Eventually his voicemail picked up and Stiles very slowly lowered the phone and hung up without looking, eyes still on the dark shape in the trees. He glanced down for only a second to turn on the flashlight function again, then lifted it ever so slowly upwards, and felt his breath freeze in his lungs.
It was a wolf.
It was a motherfucking wolf.
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Summary
Derek meets Stiles on a Wednesday. He comes in for his usual cup of coffee and somehow walks out with hot chocolate, cinnamon on the top, and no idea what just happened there.
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The first time Danny gets a boner, it's all Stiles fault.
Series
- Part 1 of Predilections
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 51,472
- Chapters:
- 25/25
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 531
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- 2,773
- Bookmarks:
- 650
- Hits:
- 46,910
Bookmarked by happinessmachine
01 Jan 2026
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Bookmarker's Notes
fic so good i finished it at 7am bc i couldnt stop reading
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Thanks for Thumper, But I Prefer Cheeseburgers by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella) for adara
Fandoms: Teen Wolf (TV)
21 Jun 2018
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Summary
The wolf’s head whipped around so fast, Stiles felt like he was watching The Exorcist.
Stiles wondered if he could just stand still enough to make the wolf think he was a tree. A very bright red and jean-clad tree. He doubted it, but one could hope.
He knew it was a lost cause when the wolf turned fully, lips pulled back from its sharp teeth—so very sharp, good fucking Lord!—and began walking towards Stiles.
“I didn’t see anything!” Stiles shouted, both hands out in front of himself and sweat instantly breaking out across his skin. “I swear to you! I didn’t see anything! I didn’t see anything! I won’t tell anyone! I won’t! I’ll keep this to myself, until the day I die! I promise! I promise!”