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  1. Public Bookmark 64

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    Summary

    Shane and Ilya have been retired nearly 10 years. Going on 50, their lives are hectic with 3 kids in their tweens.

    What more could they want? Unexpected pregnancy? No……

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,939
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    436
    Bookmarks:
    64
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    01 Feb 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane's breath catches on a sob, and he muffles the sound with his hand. Everything feels like too much. He’s naked, and he can feel entirely too much on his body, inside his body, and he hates how it's starting to feel gross. His head is pounding, and he can't even focus on placating his mind when his lungs are also screaming in his throat for breath.

    Ilya hears, and his hands reach out to hold Shane, tension lying in every part of his body. “Shane—”

    “Don't touch me,” Shane snaps, more desperation than yelling as he rips his arm out of Ilyas's grasp. His tears have nowhere to go now, and they finally spill over, hot and humiliating, down his cheeks.

    Ilya freezes in place, hand hovering mid-air. A myriad of emotions flicker across his face: confusion, hurt, fear. Ilya takes an unconscious step back like someone shoved him. His body curls in on itself, trying to make himself appear smaller.

    He looks... terrified. Like, Shane just called him a monster, and he believes it.

    OR: inspired by the fight in the long game when ilya had told shane he could have sex with other men because he did not believe in cheating.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,424
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    384
    Kudos:
    14,986
    Bookmarks:
    3,138
    Hits:
    162,138

    22 Jan 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “You never forget?”

    “No,” Shane breathes out. “No, I never forget.”

    Except Ilya does.

    He forgets his wedding ring.

    And Shane notices.

    Or: Shane gets stuck inside his own head when Ilya forgets his wedding ring.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,296
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    309
    Kudos:
    12,776
    Bookmarks:
    2,652
    Hits:
    120,601

    19 Jan 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    after Shane and Ilya's Boxing Day fight, Ilya has a game. it doesn't go well

    or, baby's first panic attack

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,010
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    52
    Kudos:
    1,442
    Bookmarks:
    232
    Hits:
    12,996

    12 Jan 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    This thing that they have—whatever the hell it is—it’s good. It’s easy. It feels like the only thing keeping Ilya afloat sometimes.

    He can’t let it get to a place where it’s more than just a good, convenient fuck and some fun teasing in between. Even if sometimes, in brief moments of tenderness, it already feels like it’s more than that. Or at least like it’s something that can be, if they just let it.

    But they don’t. They can’t.

    Although sometimes, Ilya does find himself giving in to the urge to look at Shane just a little bit longer, to let his touch be just a little bit gentler, more reverent, than what it would be for something as casual as they claim this to be—albeit sparingly.

    Sometimes, just for a moment, he lets himself indulge. He lets some of that affection bleed out of him because he feels like he’ll implode if he doesn’t.

    But he always catches himself before it can linger.

    ***

    or

    where six months of ghosting is shane’s final straw and he cuts contact with ilya after vegas, tired of the wall that just keeps getting higher each time he tries to chip away at it

    so ilya is forced to reckon with his feelings much sooner

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,166
    Chapters:
    5/6
    Comments:
    174
    Kudos:
    957
    Bookmarks:
    439
    Hits:
    26,303

    12 Jan 2026