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Thor was staring at her. It was kinda wigging her out.
After their hot and heavy reunion, Jane let go of Thor long enough to dive into the shower before the two of them went and did whatever they were going to do now that he was back, and now that the creepiest elves in the universe were no longer trying to shoot everybody's faces off. Elves, seriously.
Anyway, Darcy didn't ask what their plans were, she was pretty sure she didn't want to know, and was, in fact, planning to book herself a hotel room as soon as she felt like she could politely escape.
But, now Thor was staring at her -- and was Jane taking her sweet f'in time in the shower, or what?
Darcy was not one to flinch from awkward, however. Usually. "Dude, two days, way to go."
"Pardon?" Thor approached slowly, seeming hesitant, like maybe she was going to attack or be super scathing or something, and sat at the chair Intern ... Ian, abandoned when Darcy declared 'secret stuff, go away', mainly because gawping at Jane and Thor in a lip-lock was pretty gauche. Also, because things might get said that Intern didn't need to know. It was like, 'hey, thanks for your help and for saving my life and all, Intern, but while you're totes kinda cute, you're also the rookie here, alien invasion-wise, time to let the salty, battle-hardened vets do the serious talking'.
Fortunately, she hadn't had to come up with an excuse to make Erik leave. He stayed around long enough to welcome Thor, and then looked a little queasy at the soppy glances Jane was sending her Asgardian Dreamboat's way and made his own rambling excuses.
"Two thousand years, to two years, to two days," Darcy pointed out, trying to make conversation and break the eerie staring. "I'm seriously impressed."
He cocked his head to one side. He was so insanely, ridiculously good-looking, Darcy had to force herself to not look away. Honestly, it was almost painful to look at him. She smiled instead.
"It is a pleasure to return to Midgard," he said simply, the deep rumble of his voice mingling with distant thunder.
"Well, we're all pretty pleased to have you back. And not just because of the whole elf situation."
"I am glad to be welcomed."
And he was determined not to give up the staring and Darcy was still trying not to look away, but it was all starting to feel extremely weird. Like some strange showdown of who would blink first. Darcy was pretty sure she'd lose, and that was okay, she just wished she knew why they were playing.
"You have been a good friend to Jane," he said at last. Oh, was this an awkward 'meeting her friends' chat? Because that was just ... kind of adorable, if it was, except how they'd already met. How soon everybody forgets the deathbot.
"Sure. I mean, you know, she is a friend. A crazy friend, but a friend," Darcy confirmed, hoping he wouldn't take offense at the 'crazy' descriptor. Because, sorry, but it was true and she figured it was probably something he should know going in.
"From time to time I would ask Heimdall to cast his gaze towards Midgard. To ..." his eyes darted away from her to wander around their tiny kitchen, made all the smaller by his truly massive form. "To look over my friends and see that they were well. And ever has he told me you were by Jane's side."
Darcy kind of suspected it was more often than 'from time to time', but he looked a little embarrassed and it was definitely more sweet than creepy. At least, that's what she was going with for right now. Epic diplomatic blunders during intergalactic chit-chat was not how she wanted to be remembered, and accusing an alien prince-dude of stalking with magic was not cool.
"We went through a lot together," she said. "Hard to just move on or forget or whatever." She shrugged and spun her coffee cup in her hands. "Not that I wanted to."
"I understand the forging of such bonds," he agreed with a nod of his head.
"Heimdall's the watcher guy, right?"
"Yes. The guardian of the rainbow bridge." Thor shifted in his seat, tugging his cape out from behind him and looking so absurdly out of place at their little table she struggled not to laugh.
This was her life; she hung out with super soldiers and assassins and crazy geniuses, a Norse god at the kitchen table shouldn't be so surreal. And yet, it had been a while; memory of the true scope of the strange had faded.
"Before I returned to Midgard this time, Heimdall informed me that he did not always share the fullness of what he'd seen. This, I knew. Some things are not meant for all." Okay, so 'no' to stalking from above. That was a relief.
Settling his cape, and turning back to the table, Thor considered her for a long moment. "But, he gave to me that information he felt most important, and before returning here, to my friends, my comrades, there was more he deemed wise for me to know."
"Okay," she drew out the word in a long breath and raised an eyebrow at him. He had to get to the point eventually, right?
"When first we met, you felled me with lightning," he said, his lips beginning to turn up into a smile.
"You were kind of scary out there."
The smile faltered a little and he bobbed his head contritely. "I apologize."
She waved his apology off. "You were having an epically bad day. No big."
He was silent for another moment, but his amusement seemed to grow to the point that his ludicrously gorgeous eyes were actually freaking twinkling. "And when first I met your father, he did the same."
Darcy couldn't help the laugh. Now the staring made sense -- and possibly why he looked so hesitant about joining her at the table. "Ah. Yes, well, misunderstandings all around."
"Should I have known then?" He chuckled and his smile grew to a true grin, so brilliant Darcy had to make a renewed effort to not look away. "Stout of heart, brave of spirit. Starksdottir."
"You forgot, 'shoots first; asks questions later'. Clearly, should be the family motto."
He laughed, a booming laugh that echoed in the crash of thunder outside. "I have many times been accused of being too quick to draw a weapon, I have little right to find fault with others for being similarly hasty."
"And that's why we like you," she remarked with a firm nod.
"Indeed. It's a treasure beyond any other to have good and loyal friends who will stand by your side in the most fiery of battles. And better still, those who stand with you during the quiet ones."
His laughter faded but he was still clearly pleased by this turn of events. "It is a wondrous thing. Though Heimdall kept watch, I find myself comforted, knowing now, that should Jane have had need, you could have called upon your father, my shield-brother."
"In a hot second," she told him. "Without a doubt."
With a grateful smile, he crossed his arms on the table, leaning forward in a rustle of fabric and creak of leather, and just a whiff of ozone and petrichor. His voice dropped back to that low rumble. "Heimdall, when he told me of your parentage, told me also this was a great secret on Midgard, and he bid me hold my tongue with others. I give you my word, I shall guard your secret close. But, may I ask, does no one know?"
"Jane knows -- though, I think she forgets like 80 percent of the time. And, the Avengers know."
"Selvig?"
"No. He ... uh, had a hard time after Loki." She winced at the admission, and Thor's face darkened, but he looked more pained and sad, than angry. "Anyway, it was for the best."
"I see."
"We were planning on telling you if you stuck around."
He made a strange, formal half-bow over the table that almost cracked Darcy's resolve to not laugh. 'Intergalactic diplomacy, intergalactic diplomacy, think of the look on Coulson's face when you tell him,' she chanted silently.
"I am honored you would entrust this to me. I had hoped you would not be upset that Heimdall shared this knowledge, and I assure you, he keeps his own council and will tell no one else."
"Hey, if you trust him, I trust him," she told him easily. If you couldn't trust the word of the God of Thunder, a guy even more profoundly earnest than Steve, who could you trust? "Besides, I doubt it would be much of a big deal on Asgard."
Sitting back, Thor looked around the flat again, but his gaze was distant. "In days past, I would agree. But, now I do not know. There are those beyond this realm who might seek advantage on Midgard, and I know your father is counted as a man of some importance and power."
Darcy snorted. "Don't let him hear you say 'some'."
Thor tossed her a questioning look and Darcy waved him off. "He just, you know, thinks pretty well of himself. I mean, he's got reason, but ... never mind. It was a stupid joke."
"You would mock your father?" He asked, eyebrows raised in astonishment.
"Every single chance I get, brother," she assured him loftily. "It's how he knows I love him."
Thor laughed, a little disbelieving. "I cannot imagine doing so with my father."
"Your father is Odin, my father is Tony."
"That is an excellent point," he agreed. "And how fares your father? I know that he and his lady suffered injuries at the hands of an evil man. I was grieved to hear it, grieved I could not be here. But, the nine realms were in chaos and--"
Darcy put a hand on Thor's forearm and gave it a comforting little pat. Good god, his arms were enormous. She was used to Steve-size, which was pretty damned large, but, wow. "It's okay. Nobody's mad you weren't here. Honest. He's okay, and so is Pepper, that's the most important thing."
He nodded but still looked bothered. "I am relieved."
"So, what next?" She asked, trying to pull him out of his 'can't save everybody all the time' funk. She'd gotten some pretty good practice in with her dad and Steve. Natasha and Clint were a little more pragmatic, and Bruce just thought he couldn't save anyone, especially himself. Hell, Thor was easy.
Taking a deep breath, he considered for a moment. "I should like very much to see all my Midgardian friends."
"Most everybody's in or around New York. Or, you know, they base out of the city." And then she got an idea. Her eyes widened and she grinned. Oh, it was a brilliant horrible idea. Like the best worst ever. Top this, Tony. Hey, this could even knock the Avengers from the top of Bruce's list of bad ideas. "We should totally do a feast thing. Welcome you back all proper like."
"I would be honored. To dine with comrades, to share the tales of our adventures while we were apart." He smiled again, but it looked pensive, tired. "I would like that very much."
And as she thought about it, the best awfulness of it grew in her mind, and she was struck by another idea. "You could totally invite your friends. Who wouldn't love having the Lady Sif and the Warriors Three to a party?" Fury would flip. It would be so freaking amazing.
"They are very fond of merriment and revelry," he confirmed with a wry smile.
"Oh my God, dad will love them," Darcy said, choking on a laugh at the thought of it. "There's nothing Tony likes more than merriment and revelry." And she'd pitch it to him exactly like that and then step back and enjoy her father's genius at throwing a shindig.
Thor laughed and shook his head. "I do not find that difficult to believe."
"Then we'll do it. You and Jane can go ... do whatever," she waved her hand. "And we'll pick a date, have it in New York. It'll be awesome."
"I do not know how feasts go on Midgard, but in Asgard they can last for days," he warned.
Darcy shrugged. "Sounds like a Tony Stark party to me."
"Then I shall look forward to it!" He told her with a degree of gusto that rattled the windows with a boom of equally enthusiastic thunder.
"Dude, me, too," she assured him. "So much, you have no idea."
With a smile broad as anything and full of true fondness, he held out his hand. Grinning back, she reached out and he did that warrior forearm clasp thing which made her feel so warm and fuzzy it was actually ridiculous. "Starksdottir. Darcy. I am pleased to know you at last, my friend."
"Thor Odinson," she told him, trying to match the fondness and seriousness of his statement, "It is super awesome to have you back."
They shook on that just as Jane finally returned, all freshly scrubbed, makeup in place, dolled-up a hundred times more than she'd been for Richard or Roger or whatever his name was.
"What are you two doing?" She asked, immediately suspicious. Darcy rolled her eyes.
"We were just talking."
"Thor, what did you agree to? Don't agree to any plan Darcy comes up with. It might sound good at first, but--"
"Hey now!"
"Jane, it is well," Thor said evenly. "We were discussing her father."
"Oh," Jane said, flustered. "Iron Man, right."
"Yeah, you know, his shield-brother. Hey, does that make you my shield-uncle?" Darcy asked, peering at Thor.
He frowned. "No."
"Oh well." Darcy got up from the table, figuring she'd entertained Thor long enough and she was sure they didn't need her anymore. Fleeing at this point, before they got all smoochy again, was totally honorable. "So, I'm going to take off now. Thor, seriously, so glad you're here. I have got to call dad." And SHIELD eventually, she supposed, but they'd ignored her calls during the Elf invasion -- elfvasion? -- so they could just cool their jets. The debriefing from this was going to suck like a Hoover, it could wait. A lot.
"Please, send my greetings to your father and the Lady Pepper," Thor told her. "I will see them soon, I hope. At our feast."
"May it be worthy of song," she pronounced with as much solemness as she was capable and Thor laughed appreciatively.
Jane frowned. "Wait, what feast?"
"Gotta go!" Darcy waved at the pair and threw herself out the door before Thor could begin to explain.
With luck she'd be two blocks down before the full scope of that tremendous plan hit Jane. And if she was extra lucky, she'd be able to pitch it to Tony and get that ball rolling before Jane could catch her.
Fingers crossed, she darted onto the sidewalk and down the street, pulling her phone out of her bag as she went. This was going to rock.