SR71Eclipse
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A Bold New World by kettish
Fandom The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
28 Apr 2016
- Words:
- 8,780
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 36
Bookmarked by SR71Eclipse
22 Mar 2026
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The Vagaries of Commercial Air Travel by manic_intent
Fandoms: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
04 Jan 2015
Tags
Summary
Thorin squeezed his eyes closed and wished that he was dead. His Gods-damned sister had ‘borrowed’ the private jet to hop across to the Maldives with her sons on a whim, and had ‘forgotten’ to tell him about it. Again.
Save that this time, Thorin had actually had an urgent business meeting to attend, over in bloody New York, and flying commercial was a personal trial on many levels. Firstly. Bloody Heathrow. Secondly. The teeming masses. Not even Singapore’s Changi Airport, which had a hotel lobby-like First Class check-in facility, had quite worked out how to minimise contact with the hordes of humanity, and Heathrow certainly fucking hadn’t. Thirdly. The godsdamned holiday season and its unashamedly commercial thrust of lurid ‘good’ cheer, obnoxious jingles and all.
He was going to murder Dís whenever he next saw her.
[added chapter 2, because popular demand]
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,223
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 79
- Kudos:
- 1,405
- Bookmarks:
- 217
- Hits:
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Bookmarked by SR71Eclipse
21 Mar 2026
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The Rent Boy of Bagshot Row by Avelera for ewebean
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types
28 Aug 2015
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Summary
In which Bilbo became a rent boy out of boredom, Thorin is overworked, and both are confused as to how they ended up in bed together.
Bookmarked by SR71Eclipse
20 Mar 2026
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Nothing is Gained by Not Gathering Roses by rosasynstylae for Frosticenow
Fandoms: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
23 Feb 2023
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Summary
Bilbo may be a gentlehobbit, but he knows better than to just lay about doing nothing all day. He works as a prostitute at one of the finest brothels in Hobbiton, when it suits him.
He's certainly glad of his choice of occupation when a handsome dwarrow comes in looking to lose his virginity.
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“That’s fine. I know what your friend wanted for you, but, Thorin- what do you want out of this?”
“I want Dwalin and Dís to stop nagging me about finding someone to warm my bed.” Thorin ended the statement with a small huff and Bilbo found himself biting his lip to hold back a smile. That was- it was funny.
“If that’s all you’d like, I can give you a hickey and we can play cards until it’s time to sleep.” It wouldn’t be the first time he’d done something like that, though Bilbo couldn’t deny that he was a little disappointed with the notion of missing out on sleeping with Thorin. The dwarrow was handsome. But this wasn’t about Bilbo, after all.
A flush crept down Thorin’s neck again, and he shook his head. “I- I suppose I’d also like to- to have you. To touch you.”
Bookmarked by SR71Eclipse
17 Mar 2026
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Of Kin and Courtships by amethystviolist, xkingevelynx (ebony_dove)
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types
15 Dec 2024
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Summary
In order to stay in Erebor, Bilbo must be adopted into a dwarven family, but not every dwarf is keen on that idea.
Oh, but not because they're xenophobic, quite the opposite: Everyone wants to claim their favorite hobbit burglar as their brother!
“One week,” Bifur grunted in Khuzdul.
“One week,” Dori agreed shortly.
They shook hands over the table as Bilbo tuned back into reality, and the hobbit frowned a little at the battle-ready postures on either side of the table.He should have known nothing with dwarves would ever be easy.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,727
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 128
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- 1,483
- Bookmarks:
- 352
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Bookmarked by SR71Eclipse
15 Mar 2026