SR71Eclipse



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  1. Public Bookmark 36

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    22 Mar 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Thorin squeezed his eyes closed and wished that he was dead. His Gods-damned sister had ‘borrowed’ the private jet to hop across to the Maldives with her sons on a whim, and had ‘forgotten’ to tell him about it. Again.

    Save that this time, Thorin had actually had an urgent business meeting to attend, over in bloody New York, and flying commercial was a personal trial on many levels. Firstly. Bloody Heathrow. Secondly. The teeming masses. Not even Singapore’s Changi Airport, which had a hotel lobby-like First Class check-in facility, had quite worked out how to minimise contact with the hordes of humanity, and Heathrow certainly fucking hadn’t. Thirdly. The godsdamned holiday season and its unashamedly commercial thrust of lurid ‘good’ cheer, obnoxious jingles and all.

    He was going to murder Dís whenever he next saw her.

    [added chapter 2, because popular demand]

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    21 Mar 2026

  3. Public Bookmark 41

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    In which Bilbo became a rent boy out of boredom, Thorin is overworked, and both are confused as to how they ended up in bed together.

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    20 Mar 2026

  4. Public Bookmark 92

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    Bilbo may be a gentlehobbit, but he knows better than to just lay about doing nothing all day. He works as a prostitute at one of the finest brothels in Hobbiton, when it suits him.

    He's certainly glad of his choice of occupation when a handsome dwarrow comes in looking to lose his virginity.

    -----

    “That’s fine. I know what your friend wanted for you, but, Thorin- what do you want out of this?”

    “I want Dwalin and Dís to stop nagging me about finding someone to warm my bed.” Thorin ended the statement with a small huff and Bilbo found himself biting his lip to hold back a smile. That was- it was funny.

    “If that’s all you’d like, I can give you a hickey and we can play cards until it’s time to sleep.” It wouldn’t be the first time he’d done something like that, though Bilbo couldn’t deny that he was a little disappointed with the notion of missing out on sleeping with Thorin. The dwarrow was handsome. But this wasn’t about Bilbo, after all.

    A flush crept down Thorin’s neck again, and he shook his head. “I- I suppose I’d also like to- to have you. To touch you.”

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    17 Mar 2026

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    In order to stay in Erebor, Bilbo must be adopted into a dwarven family, but not every dwarf is keen on that idea.

    Oh, but not because they're xenophobic, quite the opposite: Everyone wants to claim their favorite hobbit burglar as their brother!

    “One week,” Bifur grunted in Khuzdul.
    “One week,” Dori agreed shortly.
    They shook hands over the table as Bilbo tuned back into reality, and the hobbit frowned a little at the battle-ready postures on either side of the table.

    He should have known nothing with dwarves would ever be easy.

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    15 Mar 2026