Work Text:
Jeongguk hasn’t known Yoongi very long. Just a couple of months, since the beginning of the semester. Yoongi had been in a study abroad program the previous semester for his major when Jeongguk entered the university and started his job at the campus radio station. Yoongi had come back to assume his position as the host of Agust Nights (Jeongguk originally thought that there was a typo but has since learned the error of his ways, as Agust D was Yoongi’s current pen name) which was the show that Jeongguk was tasked with assisting during his graveyard shift at the campus radio station this semester.
So, Jeongguk hasn't known Yoongi very long, but he has taken to following him home once their broadcast was finished up for the night. They usually sit around and talk shit while drinking tea before Yoongi goes into his room to do whatever the fuck he does and Jeongguk crashes on the couch for a few hours before his 8am Philosophy class. Yoongi's apartment is closer to the building Jeongguk's class is in and there’s the added bonus of not having to hear his roommate's bitching about him coming back at ass o’clock in the night. Plus, free tea and chill company before bedtime. Who doesn't love sleepovers?
They’re in the middle of their weekly tea after another successful night on air when the banging on the front door starts. Jeongguk, who’s sitting on the counter, jumps down so quickly he spills some tea down his front and Yoongi scowls in the direction of his front door.
“Who the fuck,” Yoongi mutters in an exasperated tone.
The banging continues and seems to only get more insistent as the seconds go by. Yoongi groans and sets his mug down in the sink before disappearing around the corner to answer the door. Jeongguk doesn't know if he should follow or not… he’s placed his mug on the counter and grabbed up two handfuls of his white t-shirt, pulling it away from himself so the tea doesn’t dry sticky on his chest.
The kitchen is separated from the door by a wall so he won't be able to see who is there when Yoongi opens the door… maybe he should–
“What the fuck, Min Yoongi?”
That’s weird. That voice sounds like–
“Jimin?” Yoongi sounds just as confused as Jeongguk feels. What was Jimin doing at Yoongi’s place? And why did he sound so angry?
There’s the sound of the door slamming as Jimin continues speaking. “I’d ask what your fucking problem was but the answer to that question has already been broadcasted across campus at two in the fucking morning!”
“What are you even–”
“The song, Yoongi! The fucking song! ‘We don’t talk anymore’? Seriously? Seriously.”
The silence seems to be louder than Jimin’s shouting so late at night (or morning, as Jimin exclaimed). It can’t last more than a few seconds but Jeongguk can imagine Jimin standing there in the doorway with his small hands balled into fists and that unsettling blankness in his expression that showed he was way past frustrated. His hair is probably a mess. Jimin had a habit of tugging at his hair when he was upset. Jeongguk had unfortunately seen him upset enough times to notice the indicative gesture. He imagines Yoongi standing opposite Jimin, staring over the other boy’s shoulder as he thought of a response to Jimin’s fury. Jeongguk imagines Yoongi standing there stiffly in that way he did when he was caught off guard but tried to act like he hadn't been surprised by whatever had happened.
‘We don’t talk anymore’ is the song that Yoongi had played as their closing song for the night. He had asked Jeongguk to sing it a while back, after they had already been working together for a month or so. Jeongguk remembered reading over the lyrics and wondering who had hurt Yoongi bad enough for him to write about it like that. He wondered if the somebody Yoongi had written about was someone he had met during his time abroad, someone who had apparently not taken their relationship as seriously as Yoongi had. Someone who had moved on pretty quickly from the sound of it. Jeongguk had tried to put as much feeling into the recording as he could and when Yoongi had played the final mix for him, he felt proud of how it came out. He didn’t know Yoongi would play it on the campus radio tonight, but he hadn’t been bothered by it. They played a range of songs for the different topics Yoongi’s callers brought up during the allotted phone-in portion of the show and sometimes they were Yoongi’s own songs. This had just been a song that seemed to conclude the night's show.
For some reason, Jimin is not okay with the conclusion.
Jeongguk doesn’t know if he should try to leave the kitchen and make his presence known or if he should wait for Jimin to let out whatever it was that compelled him over here. His curiosity is steadily winning out as he can’t figure out why Jimin would be so pissed off about that song. Maybe they had written the song together? Maybe Jeongguk’s recording wasn’t the only version? He can’t figure out how Jimin knew where Yoongi lived or how they even fucking knew each other in the first place but maybe if he stayed quiet long enough he could get some questions answered.
“You still listen to my show?”
That’s the best Yoongi could come up with?
“Seriously, Yoongi? That’s what you’re going with?”
“Well, I don’t know what you want me to say, Jimin… you wouldn’t be here yelling at me if you didn’t listen to my show. You probably wouldn’t have even heard the song.”
“That’s not the fucking point, and you know it. Why the fuck did you write that song and then blast me on the fucking radio?”
“How do you know it’s about you?”
“How many dancers have you fucking been with in your lifetime, Min Yoongi?”
Jeongguk can hear the shrug Yoongi gives as an initial response. He wonders if Yoongi has been able to look Jimin in the eye while talking to him yet. “You broke up with me.”
Jeongguk’s shirt slips from his grasp.
Oh. Well. That definitely answers a few questions...
“Yes, but you agreed to it! I asked you, I asked you multiple times if you thought that’s what we should do and you just...” There is the soft sound of impact, probably Jimin’s hands slapping against his thighs as he lost steam mid-argument and lowered his arms? “You didn’t even try.”
It’s weird to learn that they’re arguing about something Jeongguk had unknowingly experienced secondhand. Yoongi and Jimin had still been together at the beginning of last semester. Their relationship had already started the decline, from what he understood, but they had still been together. Jimin had never mentioned Yoongi by name so Jeongguk hadn’t been able to connect the dots as quickly as he would have liked… but Yoongi was the older boyfriend that Jimin started to mention less with sparkly eye smiles and more with furrowed brows and downturned lips. Yoongi was the older boyfriend that Jimin stopped mentioning altogether, this was the relationship that had ended and seemingly took Jimin’s energy with it.
Maybe… maybe it was a mistake to agree to sing that song for Yoongi.
“You know the reason we don’t talk anymore. I wonder if anybody else knows it’s because you stopped talking to me. Do you remember that, Yoongi? How you stopped responding to my messages and started ignoring my calls before I finally got ahold of you? Did you tell Jeongguk that we broke up after you refused to speak to me for weeks and never explained why? Did you tell Jeongguk anything before you had him sing that fucking song?”
“I never said it wasn’t my fault, Jimin, you don’t have to be so fucking condescending. And don’t bring him into this, seriously–”
“Oh, but you’re allowed to passive aggressively accuse me of never giving a fuck about you and broadcasting it on fucking campus radio? Does Jeonggukie know your little sob story is more self-inflicted than you made it seem, huh?”
“Is that the real reason you’re here right now? You’re mad that I got your boyfriend to sing the song I wrote about you?”
“What.”
What? Did Yoongi seriously think... but then… that means he thought Jeongguk was the ‘somebody’ mentioned up and down the lyrics… the one Yoongi hoped was loving Jimin the way he used to. Yoongi thought they were in a relationship. Yoongi thought that Jeongguk and Jimin were fucking. Gross.
But then… that also meant that…
“You piece of shit, you asked him to sing this because you thought he was my boyfriend?”
Was Yoongi only nice to him because he wanted Jeongguk to sing the song for him? Was that what all of this was for? Did Yoongi actually hate him because he thought Jeongguk took Jimin away from him?
Jeongguk slides to the floor as quietly as he can (he may have been in shock, but he wasn’t some eavesdropping noob) while he tried to figure this out. Yes, Yoongi had used Jeongguk in some kind of weird revenge plot, but had Yoongi ever been unkind to Jeongguk? Maybe in the beginning? Or was that just because Jeongguk hadn’t come to understand little things about Yoongi like how he never really spoke until he had this workstation set up the way he liked it? Or how when he grunted at Jeongguk in reply to a question it wasn’t because he didn’t want to answer, it was because he was trying to think of an answer but wanted to indicate he had heard the question? Jeongguk chews his lip while he thinks really hard about how hurt he should feel over this revelation.
Yoongi had obviously written this song from a place of hurt. Maybe he had started writing it before he had even met Jeongguk and it was just coincidence that they ended up coming together like this? But even if that were the case, he still asked Jeongguk to sing this song because… because he thought Jeongguk was Jimin’s boyfriend… and that wasn’t okay. Yoongi used Jeongguk, and that wasn’t okay.
“Are you saying he’s not your boyfriend?”
“Jeonggukie has never been my boyfriend, nor will he ever be.”
Damn right.
“For one thing, he’s too much like Jihyunie for me to ever– that’s not the point! You had him sing this song… why didn’t you just talk to me, Yoongi?”
Probably for the same reason he doesn’t talk about anything, Jeongguk thinks to himself, the same reason this conversation seemed so one-sided. Because Yoongi got his feelings across better when he wrote them down and organized them. Jeongguk had seen Yoongi think his way through a conversation on air and he had seen Yoongi write down his responses to a certain prompt before the show even started. Yoongi worked better after he had his thoughts down exactly how he wanted them.
“I didn’t know how…”
There’s a pause. Probably Jimin glaring at Yoongi while Yoongi stares at the floor. Jeongguk’s starting to feel like maybe he should’ve made his presence known. It’s kind of painful to hear the defeat in Yoongi’s voice, the exasperation in Jimin’s. Maybe it isn’t too late to–
“I saw… there was this... this picture you posted. Of you and Jeongguk…”
Nope. Definitely too late come out now.
“You captioned it ‘my baby never wants to kiss me goodbye’ and I… I knew it was a joke. I did. But there was this, this feeling creeping up in the back of my mind all the time. Just. I wasn’t there and I wanted to be and you were always talking about this freshman you met who was so cute and sweet and I wasn’t jealous, I wasn’t but–”
Yoongi is speaking so rapidly that Jeongguk is beginning to get worried. Now that he had gained his momentum, it didn’t sound like he was stopping to take a breath; like he had to get all of this out in one go or he’d lose his nerve.
“But it seemed like you were together all the time and whenever we talked you always had something new happening with ‘Jeonggukie’ and I just… it was so stupid but that feeling wouldn’t go away and then we had that fight and I couldn’t– I couldn’t stop thinking about how happy he made you and how it’d be better if–”
“So basically, the reason we broke up is because you decided ignoring me instead of talking to me was the solution to your jealousy?”
Jeongguk can hear Yoongi’s sigh from his spot on the kitchen floor. And just like that, the strange moment of Yoongi’s rambling is over. Jeongguk can almost feel the desperation quietly and rapidly seeping out of him. Maybe he nods in answer to Jimin’s question, maybe he didn’t.
“And then you had my friend sing a song that you wrote. That fucking song about me and apparently him too.”
“Are you gonna tell him?”
“What, that you fucking used him in some fucked up way to get back at me? No. I’ll leave that up to you. That way he can decide for himself if you’re still worth talking to.”
It feels like Yoongi is being berated by his parent and not his ex boyfriend. Yoongi’s explanation had seemingly done nothing other than anger Jimin even more. Jeongguk kind of understood. The person he loved so much had distanced himself because of the threat of someone else being around? Because of Jeongguk being around. It wasn’t a nice feeling.
“You’re fucking unbelievable, you know that, Min Yoongi?”
The quiet is once again swallowing up the sound in a way that’s louder than the talking had been. Jimin had come all the way here looking for… something, but had he found it? Is this the answer he was expecting? Is this the closure he was looking for, or is there something else? It seems that Yoongi has given all he could come up with in this moment, he’s back to being selective with his verbal answers. There couldn’t be anything else coming from this conversation.
But...
“Do you miss me, Yoongi?”
“Every fucking day, Jimin.”
“You loved me?”
“Still do.”
Jeongguk can’t tell if that shaky exhale afterward comes from Yoongi or Jimin.
“You know… I spent the last few months going back and forth with myself about whether or not I should just come see you and maybe force you to tell me what happened last year… I just wanted to know why you gave up on me.”
“Well. Now you know.”
“Yeah. Guess we can go back to not talking anymore now.”
There’s some shuffling before the sound of the door opening and closing finally ends the whole ordeal. Jeongguk wants to move, wants to get up and make sure Yoongi is okay after everything but he can’t get up. What would he even say after what he just heard? He wants to wait to see if Yoongi will move, but he can’t hear anything. It doesn’t seem like he’s moved an inch the whole time...
Until Jeongguk hears the sound of a chair scraping across the floor of the living room and then of glass breaking. Like the sound of the mirror hanging over the couch breaking. Jeongguk doesn’t think he’s ever moved faster than in this moment.
He rushes into the living room to see Yoongi, breaths heaving and tears streaming down his face, staring at the space on the wall where the mirror used to hang intact. Jeongguk’s eyes fall to the shards of glass littering the floor.
“Yoongi–”
Yoongi lets out a scream so heavy with anguish that it causes Jeongguk to unconsciously forward and reach out for him. Yoongi turns on his heels and knocks everything off the desk the chair had been sitting next to. There’s more glass and ceramic matter broken as the lamp and mugs hit the ground. Pens and papers scatter and flutter to the floor and Yoongi just continues to cry as he bangs his fists against the desk.
Jeongguk scrambles over to Yoongi and throws his arms around him as tight as he can to stop him from destroying something else or hurting himself. He pulls Yoongi away from the desk and drags him down to the floor without much resistance. Yoongi is sobbing and sagging against Jeongguk, his head on Jeongguk’s shoulder. It feels like Yoongi is shrinking in on himself with Jeongguk’s body bracketing him. It sounds like he’s trying to speak but is unable to over his tears.
“Yoongi, hey–” Jeongguk doesn’t want to let go of Yoongi, but he wants to try and comfort him some kind of way; he needs a way to calm him down before he makes himself sick.
“‘M sorry, Guk. So sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Jimin, he–”
“Yoongi, breathe,” Jeongguk says as he uses one hand to smooth down Yoongi’s hair in a hopefully soothing gesture. “It’s– I understand. I get it.” He doesn’t want to tell Yoongi that it’s okay because it isn’t; because that’s another conversation for another time. But he does understand.
Yoongi takes a deep breath and turns in order to curl into Jeongguk, his wet cheek smearing tears all over Jeongguk’s neck and his hands clutching at Jeongguk’s shirt. “I’m sorry.”
Jeongguk just keeps petting his hair and takes some deep breaths of his own. “I know.”
As Yoongi’s gasping breaths become more regular, as his tears slowly come to a stop, as he clutches Jeongguk like a lifeline, Jeongguk thinks about how he did not see any of this coming. He had not been prepared to be practically cradling Yoongi on his living room floor as he cries his eyes out over something he’d probably been keeping to himself for months, yet here they are. One argument and many broken objects later, here they are sitting on the floor with no clue how to proceed. Their after show nights had never been so eventful.
He stops petting Yoongi’s hair and places his arm back around his waist to squeeze him closer. Yoongi sniffles they both breathe in the quiet of Yoongi’s partially destroyed living room.
Jeongguk hasn’t known Yoongi very long but, whether they like it or not, Jeongguk thinks he knows Yoongi a little better now.
