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I’ve got a fire for a heart, I’m not scared of the dark, you’ve never seen it look so easy.
I’ve got a river for a soul, and baby you're a boat, baby you’re the only reason.
If I didn’t have you there would be nothing left, the shell of a girl who’d never be her best.
If I didn’t have you I’d never see the sun, you taught me how to be someone.
-Drag Me Down, by One Direction
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There is something very intimate, a certain depth, about the relationship between an artist and his muse. Often, the muse provides inspiration, but that is the only certainty concerning them. The muse could be a place, one filled with memories or or the geographical equivalent of a blank canvas. It could be an object, a word, a song.
Most often, however, the muse is a person. They could be active in the creative process, or simply an integral observer. Whatever the nature of the muse, they always hold meaning, and once found, an artist is loathe to lose them. Take Nathaniel Kurtzberg, for example.
Nathaniel started out as a starry eyed artist with an eye for drawing and a certain pig-tailed girl. But over time, he saw that Marinette and Adrien only had eyes for each other. As he came to terms with this, and let his crush dissipate, he began to notice details he missed before. About Chloe, of all things.
The way she showed up to school with red eyes and refused to answer any questions the day after Sabrina moved away. The way, ever since, she had become quiet and withdrawn. The way, when she thought no one was looking, she’d scribble away in a little notebook she now carried everywhere. And then, one day, he noticed one more thing. The rest had been chipping at his resolve to stay far away from the girl, because he knew from experience that she was fiery, and that she wouldn’t hesitate to burn him, but this… this could NOT be ignored. Chloe was crying…
CHLOE was crying. In a quiet corner of the library, during recess, but… Chloe was crying, and the idea was so alien he had to peek past the shelf he was hiding behind for another look. Yep, definitely Chloe, wearing the same white blouse and jeans he remembered her wearing earlier. She was sitting on a window seat, legs dangling as she held her head in her hands. Nathaniel watched her cry for a few moments, then decided to take a chance.
Stepping out from behind the shelf and walking towards her, he could see the exact moment she noticed him. Her eyes widened, and she lowered her hands to her lap as tension radiated off her.
“... Hey.” Nathaniel said as he sat down on the other end of the window seat, feel awkward. Aside from her irregular breathing, she wasn’t making a sound. “Are you okay?”
“Why would you care?” Chloe asked, bewildered.
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“You KNOW why! I’ve been awful, completely horrible, and now you all hate me and Sabrina’s gone and I’m completely alone.”
“Chloe… we don’t hate you. Not really. Some of us are a little wary, but… we’re okay with giving you a second chance.”
“No! You all hate me, you think I’m a monster,and you’d be right. Even I think I’m heartless. How can I not, after making life hell for everyone?”
“Chloe… I don’t think you’re heartless. In fact, I think you’re anything but. Do you… do you want to know what I think, when I see you?” Chloe didn’t answer, and she raised her head to hold his gaze. “When I look at you, I think, that girl has fire. Maybe right now it’s an ember, a spark, but Chloe… you have a fire for a heart. Not heartless, by any stretch of the imagination. And, sure, you were cruel. I admit that. But look at you now. You’re trying, no, wait. You ARE a better person, and if you keep trying, you could be great.”
By this time, Chloe had stopped crying, her cheeks long since dry. “But… why are you talking to me, telling me all that?”
“Because I like you, and you needed to hear it.”
Chloe took a deep breath, and seemed to be bracing herself for something. “If I have a fire for a heart, than you… you have a river for a soul. You’re strong, you’re the unstoppable force. Did you know that the reason rivers’s paths are so erratic is that they follow the path of least resistance? You, you find the most effective path to reach your goal. No matter the obstacle, you’re unstoppable, indomitable, irreplaceable.”
At this, Chloe seemed to run out of steam, and just gazed at Nathaniel, hoping he wouldn’t mock her. Instead he smiled, and said, “You have a gift with words, Chloe.”
She laughed in relief, and smiled. “So do you.”
They spent the rest of recess discussing other things, and by the end, though it was only an hour, they had formed a tenuous friendship.
As they stood to go, Nathaniel turned to Chloe, and asked, “Can I draw you later? I think you’d be an interesting subject.”
Chloe’s eyes widened, and Nathaniel’s attention was caught. Had they always been that deep cobalt shade, lit with an inner fire?
“Sure.” She agreed, smiling, and they walked off to class.
Years later, when Chloe was his girlfriend, and later his fiance, then wife, he would remember that day, when Chloe read him better than anyone, and he had done the same for her. The day she first allowed him to sketch her, and the day she became his muse.
To an artist, the muse is irreplaceable. They are inspiration, a fountain of ideas, a reason to create. To Nathaniel Kurtzberg, she was more than that. She was his fire in the cold, light in the dark, the match to his soul. His imagination, creativity, passion.
The other half, the part that, once found, could not be imagined separate. The perfect pair, the matched two.
The fire heart and the river soul.