Chapter Text
Emma’s brow wrinkled as she contemplated the casserole dish Regina had just pulled out of the oven. “Lasagna again? Seriously, Regina, is this the only thing you like to eat?” They were alone in the kitchen, Henry having gone upstairs to wash his hands before their weekly family dinner.
“No, there are certainly other things I love to eat,” Regina chuckled, and Emma couldn’t figure out what the emphasis was about.
“Really? What? Because I feel like it’s literally always lasagna.”
“Unbelievable,” Regina muttered under her breath. “No, dear,” she went on, “we had a pot roast just last week. It’s not my fault you’re not observant. Or that you’re so rude you complain about what people serve you when you’re their guest.”
Emma was a little taken aback. “Rude! What? Come on.”
“I make you dinner every single week, and yet you’re complaining about it.”
“You would too if it was always the same,” Emma insisted with a hint of a pout.
“We’ll never know,” Regina pointed out, “because you’ve never cooked for me, just taken advantage of my labor.”
“Oh come on, labor? It can’t be that hard.”
“Says the person too afraid to try,” Regina taunted.
“What, I, uh-”
“One free tip, Ms. Swan. Use a cookbook.”
**
“It can’t be that hard,” Emma muttered. Except it was. She had already started one (very small!) fire in Snow’s kitchen and broken two dishes, but she was damned if she was going to admit defeat. She was going to make some fucking dinner next week, and today she was going to figure it out.
She’d show Regina that she could do it, and that she appreciated her- Wait, what? No, just the first part. Because she didn’t like, appreciate Regina. Not in a weird or excessive way. People wanted to give their kid’s parent a special evening all the time, right? Yeah. No big deal. Sure.
Okay. Cooking. She could get back on track. What had Regina said? Use a cookbook. She could do that. Where did Snow keep them again?
After pacing around the kitchen for a few moments, she remembered and went over to crouch by the shelf under the edge of the kitchen island. She trailed her fingers along them as she read the spines. Cooking for Beginners? No way, she wasn’t going to do that. Huh, they all seemed to be part of a series--same size, same basic design. Weird. Cooking for Romantic Evenings had her fingers lingering for a long moment, and then she shook herself. The next one was Cooking for Special Occasions. Bingo.
She had it laid on the counter before she realized Regina’s picture was on the cover. What the hell?
She blinked for a moment, taking in the sight of Regina in a charcoal blazer with obvious shoulder pads and hair bigger than she’d ever seen her wear it in person. “Regina sure had style in the 90s,” she mused, then opened the book and started flipping through. Meals for New Year’s. Meals for Valentine’s. Saint Patrick’s, Easter, Memorial Day, Gay Pride ... Gay Pride?!
Without really deciding, she was turning to the page. There was a little box on the first page of the section above the list of recipes with a smiling picture of a rainbow-aproned Regina next to it.
“Gay pride may not seem like the most important holiday to most, but as a lesbian it’s a must-celebrate in my house. Here are some of my tradit-”
As a lesbian- As- As a- lesbian?!
**
"Duh Emma, everybody knows that," Ruby said, shaking her head.
“That Regina publishes cookbooks? ‘Cause there was like a dozen of them and how could she keep that a secret-” Emma was talking a mile a minute.
“I mean, yeah, eighteen years of being the only person with her memories before Henry came along was a long time, and apparently somebody made fun of her cooking, so-” Ruby shook herself. “Wait, no, I mean everybody knows that Regina is a lesbian!”
Emma’s eyes went wide. “Oh my god, don’t say it so loud!”
“Why?”
“Yeah,” Grumpy chimed in from the other end of the counter. “Everybody knows.”
“Every- but- who- I didn’t know!” Emma sputtered.
Ruby reached across the counter and patted her on the shoulder. “You’re not the most observant, Ems.”
**
How she’d managed to make it through the last week while this on edge, let alone cook dinner, Emma didn’t know. Her mind was going a million miles a minute wondering how she hadn’t known about Regina when everyone else did, and how was she going to bring it up now that she did know, and had she cooked this thing right, because it was Regina’s recipe and she would know if it was wrong and, and, and-
“Emma, are you alright?”
“OhmyGodReginaIcan’tbelieveIneverknewyouweregay!” It burst out of her mouth before she could stop it.
Regina blinked, then politely asked, “Pardon?”
“You! And your- your cookbooks,” she sputtered. “And you’re a lesbian!”
Regina raised an eyebrow. “You sound surprised.”
“I am surprised!”
“Really,” Regina said more than asked.
“Yes, really!” Emma had no idea on what planet this was reasonable.
“You didn’t have the faintest idea?” Regina was incredulous.
“No! I mean- god, Regina, you should have said something!”
Regina’s head tilted. “I should have said- Emma, I’ve been dropping hints for months!”
Emma scoffed. “Oh yeah? Like what?”
“Like last week when I said I like to eat pussy and not just lasagna, idiot!”
“What? You never said- oh. Ohhh.” The cool wood of the table felt good on Emma’s hot face. She could only imagine what color she was from blushing.
“Next thing you’ll tell me this isn’t a date,” Regina muttered.
Emma looked up, startled. “A date?”
“Emma we’re having dinner alone and you learned to cook just to make it special.”
Emma just stared at her blankly.
Regina’s face fell. “It’s not a date, is it?”
Suddenly, there was nothing Emma wanted more in the world. “Wait, Regina, I’m sorry. This is just a lot to take in all at once, you know?”
“I do know,” Regina said, her expression soft, and Emma felt- she felt-
Regina went on, “And while I haven’t published a cookbook since before Henry was born, I did realize quite some time ago that you were never going to catch on, so I wrote another one.”
“You did?”
“Mhmm.” Without warning, Regina turned and left the room, and, bewildered, Emma waited for her to return, not really sure what to expect at this point.
When Regina finally reentered the dining room, she was holding a book that matched the size and typography of all the rest of of her cookbooks, and she handed it to Emma.
“Noodles and You: A Guide to Coming out,” Emma read aloud. “What does this have to do with me?”
“Just read the dedication.”
Emma flipped the front cover open and continued to read aloud: “‘To Emma, you’re an idiot,-” Emma snorted and shot Regina a quick look, then went back to reading- “but since I would prefer it if you were my idiot, I wrote this guide for you, to help you come to terms with it all’” She stopped. “Wait, you wrote me a guide to coming out? You think I’m a lesbian?”
Regina raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t you?”
“Well, yeah , but-”
“But?” Regina prompted.
“But I thought I hid it pretty well!”
Regina laughed. “You really don’t.”
For a moment, Emma considered her comeback, but then it hit her and she looked at the book again to be sure. “Hold on… you want me to be your idiot?”
A flicker of panic crossed Regina’s face, but then she straightened her shoulders. “I wasn’t expecting to be with you when you read it.”
Emma snorted a little laugh. “Guess not. But you do mean it- You want to, like, date me, right?”
“You certainly know how to woo a woman, Miss Swan.”
“I totally do!”
“Prove it.”