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He didn’t think he’d see him again.
It had been a warm summer night. The grass was freshly trimmed, and there was a faint smell of smoke. A full moon just barely shone through the clouds, providing minimal light over them.
A boy, tan, skinny, and scruffy had been watching him throughout the meetings. The Shimada had been making arrangements with Deadlock. His clan wanted to move in on the American market, but they were wise enough to know they should not act without making a deal with Deadlock. Deadlock was known for destroying their competitors, which is why his father proposed they be business partners instead. While the arrangements were being made, Genji had run off to the arcade since their father was too preoccupied with business and wouldn’t stop him.
Most of the deadlock representatives had left to drink at a local bar, but one stayed behind. With a voice that had only recently dropped, Hanzo heard his name followed by a string of English he partially recognized. The boy was cocky, even the way he held himself showed confidence. He had challenged Hanzo. The boy claimed he had the best aim in deadlock, and that he could outshoot Hanzo himself. Hanzo normally would have ignored such a foolish game, but something about the roguish charm of the deadlock gunman had Hanzo leading him out to the target range. He had his guards leave the area, as he didn’t want them to disturb him, nor did he want them to question his decision to allow one of the deadlock rebels a gun. He was already questioning his own judgement, but he went on with it regardless.
Hanzo had always been more proficient with a sword, but he was confident that his aim would prove sufficient. Before they began, the boy wanted to make a bet. If he won, Hanzo would owe him a kiss, but if Hanzo won, the boy would be silent throughout the rest of the negotiations. Hanzo happily agreed, sure that he would win.
He remembered the utter shock of defeat when the boy proved to be more than proficient with a pistol. How impressed he was by the boy’s unwavering aim. He remembered a hand caressing his cheek and soft lips pressed against his own. The way his heart had skipped a beat when the boy had deepened the kiss. The feeling of rebellion knowing that his father would never approve of it. The boy was addicting, and Hanzo knew that was dangerous, but he couldn’t help himself.
Hanzo spent each night with him after that. They only had a week together before the negotiations were finished, and deadlock went back to the US, but Hanzo knew his life would never be the same. On their last day together, Hanzo had snuck his deadlock rebel into his chambers. He didn’t want to let his first love go, but he knew he had no choice. Still, he would make his rebel know that he was Hanzo’s. He never forgot the night they shared together, but the memory always carried with it a pang of regret as he knew he’d never see the boy again.
Jesse. Words were lost on his tongue as he stared at the man before him excitedly chatting with a few of his colleagues. Genji had told him about the cowboy of Blackwatch named Jesse, but he never thought it would be his Jesse. His Jesse who was no longer skin and bones, instead his shoulders were broad with a muscular build almost matching his own. His tan skin was a shade darker; clearly, he stayed out in the sun. What once was a pathetic little scrap of facial hair, was now a beard. Freckles still danced across his skin like constellations, and his eyes sparkled, just like they did back when Hanzo decided he was worthy of his time. The man hadn’t seen him yet, and if Hanzo’s feet weren’t frozen in place, he might have fled. He still might.
Genji was watching him. Hanzo could guess that his brother’s face would show his confusion had he not been wearing his faceplate.
[“Is something wrong?”] Genji asked. [“You have not changed your mind, have you?”]
[“Of course not.”] Hanzo stated, momentarily pulled out of his trance. He didn’t meet Genji’s gaze as he added, [“I owe you a debt I can never repay, and I will not leave you again.”]
[“I know.”] Genji remarked. [“Perhaps I should show you to your room?”] He said, probably assuming that the crowd was what put Hanzo on edge, and Genji wouldn’t have been entirely wrong.
[“Yes.”] Hanzo agreed, following his brother out. He was too busy focusing on Genji to notice the cowboy’s eyes go wide as he spotted the archer.
Genji left him alone in his room and Hanzo was grateful for the isolation. Jesse was here, alive, and out of deadlock. Jesse also knew what Hanzo had done. He knew Genji back when they were both in Blackwatch. He would know what kind of a monster he’d become. Sure, the elders had gotten him drunk and told him lie after lie of what terrible things Genji had done to ruin their clan. They convinced him that there was no other way, and he was a fool to have believed them. He realized too late how wrong he’d been. He would trade his own life in a heartbeat to go back in time and stop himself from doing it. Nothing could be done now.
Fate had given him a second chance to do what was right and honor his brother by following him into battle. He hadn’t counted on Jesse being in the equation. What would he say to the man? What could he say? He didn’t deserve a second chance with Genji, and he certainly didn’t deserve to even see Jesse again let alone try to be… whatever it was they were before.
Doubt plagued him as he wondered what Jesse thought of him now. Neither had been innocent in their youth; both members of criminal empires. Both had blood on their hands. He wanted to ask Genji more about Jesse. Learn what had become of the boy he once knew. He wanted to know what happened to his arm. He remembered tracing the deadlock tattoo that once rested on Jesse’s arm, and now it was prosthetic.
There was a knock on his door. Someone must have gotten lost. Hanzo only just arrived, no one would be visiting him. He elected to ignore it. Hanzo had expected the person to go away after the first five tries, but they seemed intent on getting him to open the door. It must be Genji. No one else would have any reason to be so insistent in pestering him. Hanzo grumbled to himself as he stood to open the door. Was it too much to ask for him to be left alone, so he could wallow in his own self-deprecation?
His breath was caught in the back of his throat when he opened the door and was face to face with one Jesse McCree. Hanzo felt his mouth go dry. He couldn’t speak; couldn’t move, not when Jesse was staring at him like that. He was so tall now.
“It’s really you.” Jesse remarked. His voice had grown deeper as he aged, it sent a shiver down Hanzo’s spine. “Can I come in?”
Wordlessly Hanzo took a step back. He wasn’t sure why he had, but Jesse took it as an invitation to enter. When the door closed behind him, Jesse cupped Hanzo’s face in his hands. “Thought I’d never see ya again, darlin’.” Jesse commented, with a fondness in his tone. Hanzo couldn’t bear to look him in the eyes.
“Jesse…” Hanzo said softly. He missed this. Jesse McCree had been the only person Hanzo had ever let this close to him. His heart yearned to lean into Jesse’s touch, but he couldn’t allow himself to. He didn’t deserve this. Any of this. Not after what he’d done.
“After all these years, you’re still as beautiful as the day I met ya.” Jesse remarked, brushing his thumb along Hanzo’s cheek. “Never thought I see yer pretty face again, but the world seems ta like proving me wrong.”
Hanzo frowned, taking a step back and keeping his eyes glued to the floor. “Jesse, I know that you know what I did.” Hanzo muttered. “How can you still say such things?” Hanzo remembered Genji telling him that his best friend had been the Jesse from Blackwatch. His Jesse had been Genji’s best friend. There was no way Jesse did not know.
“Sweetheart, we all got things in our past we ain’t proud of. Hell, you know I was deadlock, darlin’. There’s a million things I’ll never make up for, but that’s why I’m here. Ta try ta do what’s right. I know that’s why yer here too.” Jesse stated, taking Hanzo’s hand in his own. “I know it’s hard, but that don’t mean ya gotta push everyone away. Ya know you ain’t never needed to pretend with me.”
Hanzo could feel a sea of emotion welling up in his chest. He tried to push them all away and keep up a brave face, but when Jesse pulled him close, and hugged him. Hanzo realized how many years it’d been since he’d been hugged. Tears began to flow despite his best effort to keep them back. Jesse simply carded his fingers through Hanzo’s hair and held him close.
“I don’t deserve you.” Hanzo muttered bitterly, fighting to keep his voice even.
“I don’t deserve you either, sugarplum.” Jesse replied easily. “But that don’t mean we shouldn’t try.” He added, pressing a kiss to Hanzo’s forehead.
That was what it took to make Hanzo finally look up and meet Jesse’s gaze. He regretted it immediately, because he knew he was doomed. The way Jesse looked at him made him want to move heaven and earth for the man. His knees felt weak, and he was grateful that Jesse was already holding him.
“Do you really believe that?” Hanzo questioned.
“I do.” Jesse replied.
Hanzo’s self-control was wearing thin, and he soon found himself leaning up to kiss the man. He’d missed this. Jesse’s hands wandered over Hanzo’s body, feeling the new layers of muscle he had built up while on the run.
Jesse took a step back, so he was pressed against the door while Hanzo closed the distance between them. “Just like old times.” Jesse joked.
“We’d both be wearing a lot less clothing if that were true.” Hanzo retorted.
“Well, I’m certainly not opposed to that idea.” Jesse remarked, wiggling his eyebrows obscenely.
Hanzo wished that seeing it didn’t make his heart swell like it did. “We aren’t children anymore, Jesse.” Hanzo commented. They didn’t need to rush these moments, or hide from his disapproving father. They could take their time and simply enjoy these moments they had with each other.
“Don’t think you can keep up?” Jesse teased. The cowboy smirked at him.
A challenge. Jesse always did know how to get Hanzo to play right into his hand. Hanzo practically growled as he pinned Jesse to the door. “I can do much more than that.” He stated before kissing Jesse roughly and finding his way to Jesse’s atrocious belt buckle. “Tonight, you are mine.” He added. It was much more satisfying to know that this time, it wouldn’t be the last.
“Darlin’heart, I’m all yours.” Jesse replied.