Soft Fingers on Your Back Will Sing You to Sleep

by BooksAndBlankets

Summary:

They’d gotten into the habit of sharing a bed pretty quickly after they opened their detective agency. Having two flats was just expensive, really; they both lived on their own and didn’t need much space. That’s how Dirk had argued, after all. He hadn’t mentioned anything about creaking floors making him tense up, slamming doors making him panic, waiting for something, for someone to come grab him. Todd had agreed. Their flats were in the same block after all, and they already spent all their time at each other’s, so why pay two rents. Of course, he didn’t say anything about it being because he still woke up some nights and had to remind himself that Dirk was sleeping upstairs, that they had found him, that he wasn’t still in Blackwing.

In which Todd and Dirk move in together, but both still have trouble sleeping. Set after the end of season 2, dealing with the stress of Dirk's recapture in Blackwing.
Very little plot, a lot of fluff and cuddles. I just really like these characters taking care of each other.

Notes:

I've loved Dirk Gently for a very long time now, and wanted to "contribute" to the fandom in the smallest of ways.
I mean, how can you not fall in love with these two?
(This is my first ever fanfic, though, so please be kind!)
This is also mostly an introduction chapter, to set up how Todd and Dirk came to live together, told from Dirk's POV.

Chapter 1: The one in which Dirk moves in

They’d gotten into the habit of sharing a bed pretty quickly after they opened their detective agency. Having two flats was just expensive, really; they both lived on their own and didn’t need much space. That’s how Dirk had argued, after all. He hadn’t mentioned anything about slamming doors making his shoulders tense, loud voices making his breath hitch with panic. Todd had agreed. Their flats were in the same block after all, and they already spent all their time at each other’s, so why pay two rents. Of course, he didn’t say anything about it being because he still woke up some nights and had to remind himself that Dirk was sleeping upstairs; that they had found him, that he wasn’t still in Blackwing.
            So Dirk had moved in with Todd. It wasn’t a long process. They’d talked about it a couple of times, mentioned it matter-of-factly over breakfast tea, until one day Dirk was standing on Todd’s doorstep, ringing the doorbell for the last time. He brought a couple of colourful shirts in a suitcase, a box of books and mugs, and a kettle under his arm. Todd didn’t have a kettle, and Dirk needed to remedy this, he had said.

            That night, Dirk started out with the best intentions of sleeping on the sofa. Not for forever, of course, but until they could get another bed in. He always slept on the sofa anyway. It’s comfortable enough, he thought, as he huddled up with a blanket, listening to the tick-tock of the clock on the wall, the sound of a couple of cars slowly moving past outside the Ridgley. An hour later he was woken up by a door being slammed one floor down. He quickly sat up on the sofa, brain on high alert, ready for someone to barge into the room. He couldn't shake the feeling that slamming doors meant nightly tests, unplanned experiments, pains he couldn’t prepare for. A minute passed as he stared out into the dark, eyes adjusting until he could see the big windows, the wooden walls, the dented coffee table. His heart was pounding in his ears. It was weeks since he’d been in Blackwing now, but on nights like tonight, he still had to remind himself that the walls weren’t white anymore, that the doors weren’t made of steel. He managed to calm his breathing and laid back down. His skin was prickling, and the loud voices of someone’s late night argument on the street made it impossible to fall back to sleep. Dirk knew he was a loud person. Everything about him, from the way he dressed to how he talked, excitedly and at everyone and anyone who might be interested in listening, was loud. However, he didn’t appreciate loud and angry noises. There had been enough of them in Blackwing; enough blaring alarms waking him up, telling him everything he got wrong, enough faceless guards yelling at him through intercoms, enough heavy doors slamming, locking him in. He buried his face in the pillow Todd had found for him, and pulled the blanket up under his chin. They both smelled of Todd. It was a smell he couldn’t quite place, but that gave him a moment of comfort. Still, it didn’t block out the yelling from outside. He fiddled with the hem of his striped pyjama shirt, and after what felt like hours, he got up. Uncertain of what to do, he stopped and stood in the middle of the room. His mind was racing, but without anywhere to go. The flat was dark, his suitcase and moving box were left in the corner, the kettle hadn’t been plugged in yet and was still just sitting on the floor. From Todd’s room, he could hear a faint snoring.
            “Well, okay then,” he muttered to himself, as he felt his feet start moving towards the door. I mean, you can’t just keep standing in the middle of the room, he thought. No one stands in the middle of someone else’s floor in the middle of the night, even if they did just move in. He reached Todd’s door. Now what? he snapped at himself in his head. Quietly he opened the door.

            “Todd?” he said, softly, but regretted it immediately. No answer. Stupid Dirk, he thought. Normal people sleep in the middle of the night. They don’t stand lurking in other people’s door frames. He turned around to leave, to head back to his sofa. The floor felt cold under his feet.
            “Dirk?” Todd’s voice stopped him. Great, Dirk thought, you woke him up. Now you’re just being annoying. “Is everything okay?” Todd’s voice was sleepy and confused, but not annoyed. Dirk turned back. His eyes had properly adjusted to the dark now, and he could see Todd; see his messy hair and the indents on his face from where he’d been sleeping on his hand. Dirk gave him a small, uncertain smile.
            “Yeah,” he said. “Just a bit noisy out there.” He shrugged his shoulders and motioned towards the living room. It felt silly now. “Couldn’t sleep.”
            Dirk would never know if it was because Todd was a bit delirious from being woken up, or if it was because he felt bad for him, but without saying anything he scooted over on the bed and lifted up the duvet. Dirk could see his pyjamas, another one of those Mexican Funeral T-shirts and blue boxers. He stayed by the door with one hand on the door frame, not knowing what to do. Todd’s eyes were almost falling close, but he raised an eyebrow at him.
            “There’s room for two here,” he said. “Hurry up, it’s getting cold,” he added, when Dirk didn’t move. Still by the door, Dirk swallowed and caught his breath.
            “Yes, yes, of course, you and me,” he started, “in a bed, yes.” Well, really, what were you actually expecting? he thought to himself. Todd smiled a smug, but sleepy, little smile, and did nothing to stifle a yawn, as Dirk made his way across the floor. Under his feet, the floorboard creaked. As he reached the bed, he quickly got under the duvet. Now what, that voice in his head said again, and he had to admit that he had no idea. He laid on his back with his arms by his side, as Todd put the duvet over him, making sure there were no gaps to let in cold air. Then he let out another yawn and rolled over onto his side, away from Dirk. Dirk still didn’t know what to do, still didn’t know what he expected when he left the sofa, what he thought was going to happen when he called Todd’s name from the doorway. He didn’t dare to move. I’m in Todd’s bed, it’s okay, people share beds all the time, he thought, it’s nothing to worry about. His mind was still racing.
            Suddenly, he jumped as a flailing hand lightly hit the side of his face. An almost asleep Todd, still facing the other way, fumbled a bit before he caught hold of Dirk’s upper arm and dragged it towards him. He pulled him closer, so Dirk ended up spooning him, and he kept hold of his arm, before firmly placing it around himself. He laced their fingers together, as he started to sleepily chastise Dirk.

            “I can hear your thoughts, Dirk,” he said. “Chill out and sleep.” Dirk let himself be dragged. He let himself be moulded around Todd’s body, let him put his arms around him. Then he moved his other arm under the pillow. His arms were all around Todd now. So many arms, he thought, but he smiled. He’d never done this before, never spooned someone before, never been this close to someone. He relaxed where he lay and tightened his grip around Todd’s stomach. He counted the seconds in Todd’s breathing, imitated his rhythm, and just like that, their breaths melted together. Outside, the yelling voices of the arguing neighbours could still be heard, but it was fainter in here, and he wasn’t alone anymore. Dirk Gently wasn’t alone anymore. With a sigh, he nuzzled his face into the back of Todd’s neck, closed his eyes, and fell asleep.

Chapter 2: The One in Which Dirk Can't Sleep

Summary:

"As he rounded the corner to the kitchen, he stopped in the door way. On the floor, illuminated by the open fridge and the street lights outside the kitchen window, he saw Dirk. He sat with his legs crossed, two steaming cups of tea in front of him, and the kitten shark in his lap."

In which Todd wakes up to Dirk and the kitten shark on the kitchen floor, and we learn that Dirk is exactly where he needs to be right now.

Notes:

More soft boys!
In which Todd observes Dirk and the kitten shark chatting on the kitchen floor, and decides to join them, because who cares if it's the middle of the night if there are cuddles to be had.
Hope you like it!

Todd had gotten so used to sleeping next to Dirk, to have him close, that he knew something was wrong the moment he woke up. Blearily, he opened his eyes. The curtains were still drawn and it was pitch black in the room. He reached over towards the wall. Dirk always wanted to sleep on the inside, huddled close to the wall, with Todd’s arms around him. They switched places as the big and little spoon, but one thing was for certain, Todd could always find Dirk close to the wall. Not tonight, though. Todd’s fingers fumbled through the dark, but met nothing but sheets that had already gone cold from not being slept in for a while.
     “What the,” he started, rubbing his eyes and reaching out for the alarm clock on the nightstand. 04:17. “Dirk?” He said quietly into the dark room. Nothing. Stop worrying, his mind tried telling him, people get up in the middle of the night all the time. Todd sighed and laid back down when he suddenly heard a thud from the kitchen. His eyes shot up. Was there someone in the flat? Was it Dirk? Was he okay? With sleep still heavy in his eyes, he got up from the bed and snuck out the door, around the corner. As he reached the kitchen, he stopped in the doorway. On the floor, illuminated by the open fridge and the street lights outside the kitchen window, he saw Dirk.
     He sat with his legs crossed, two steaming, but untouched, cups of tea in front of him, and the kitten shark in his lap. The kitten shark lived with them now. They hadn’t as much taken her in as she’d moved in on her own, a couple of weeks after Dirk had. One evening they’d heard a small meow outside the flat, and as soon as Todd had opened the door, she’d darted in and more or less refused to leave. She was one of the family now. Their small, rather strange family. Todd stayed in the doorway, a quiet smile on his face. The kitten was purring in Dirk’s lap as he ran soft fingers through her fur.

     “I mean,” Dirk said to the kitten, “I thought it was completely obvious, there was nowhere else all those ice cream cones could’ve come from.” Dirk's stories positively glittered in his eyes, and at the moment he was too engrossed in this one about a former case, to even notice that Todd was watching. “But did they listen to me?” Dirk looked down at the kitten shark lounging in his lap and gave her a little boop on the pink nose. “Nope.” He sighed, before casting a look out the window. “You know, we really should go back to bed soon.”
     The kitten shark disagreed. She was done stretching now, and curled up in a little ball, with no intention of moving. She looked up at him with what could only be explained as a raised eyebrow, if kittens even had eyebrows. “I know, I know,” he started, scratching the back of her head, earning himself some satisfied purrs, “but it’s almost morning, and you need sleep if you’re ever going to grow up into a fully grown…” he paused for a second, “…cat shark.” He furrowed his brows. “Might have to work on that one.”
     Todd almost laughed at that. He loved the sound of Dirk’s voice, how quiet it was, even when his brain was racing away from him like it sounded like it was about to do now.
     “Now, I know it would be awfully impractical if the sun never rose again.” Dirk’s hand was still in the kitten shark’s fur, but his eyes looked out the window, through their city view, through the skies. “But it might be quite peaceful too, don’t you think?”

     Todd looked at Dirk on the floor. It was like he was staring directly into the light of a street lamp for a moment too long. After a little while, he had to shake his head and put a hand out on the floor behind himself, to reorient himself with the room around him. There was something about the way the street lights caught the golden streaks in that auburn hair, how the lights fell on the features of his face. He looked soft. Todd had no idea what was going on in that busy brain of his, but could only hope that safe and here and not trapped anymore were repeating themselves. 
     “Hey there,” he said quietly, as he walked around the door he was standing by, closing the fridge on the way. Dirk looked up at him, a sudden flash of worry on his face. The kitten shark noticed the change in mood and lifted her head suspiciously. She curled further into Dirk’s pyjama shirt. She liked Todd, but was clear in her favouritism.
     “I’m so sorry,” Dirk started, “did I wake you?”
     Todd was a bit taken aback by that.
     “No no, don’t worry about it,” he said quickly, crouching down in front of Dirk to give the kitten shark some cautious pats on the head. She narrowed her eyes at him, before deciding that two people to pet her were even better than one and pushed her head against his hand. He looked at Dirk. He looked tense on the floor.
“I was just worried when you weren’t in bed,” Todd said, moving so he was sat down next to him, stabilising himself with a hand on the cold floor. He put an arm around Dirk’s back and laid his head on Dirk’s shoulder. “I’m not angry with you or anything.” He could feel Dirk relax under him. He put a hand on Dirk’s arm, rubbed it slowly up and down. Dirk moved into the touch, not unlike how the kitten shark had moved into his head strokes earlier. “Couldn’t sleep, huh?” Todd asked. Dirk shook his head.
     “It’s just my brain and its complete and utter inability to…” he paused, looking for the right word, “stop?” Todd looked at him, but Dirk kept his eyes on the floor. “It’s not like a hunch, or the universe telling me to to be somewhere I’m not,” Dirk started, “it’s more like my brain’s just so full, so noisy. ” He let out a little laugh, but Todd didn’t buy it. It was more of a sigh, a sound that told Todd that he was tired. The kitten shark stayed curled up in Dirk’s lap and his fingers absentmindedly still stroked her. “I don’t think there’s enough room in there to just push everything to the side for a decent night of sleep, really. There’s always somewhere I need to be, and it does rather feel like the universe is quite fond of telling me off.”
     Todd lifted his head off Dirk’s shoulder and pulled him closer into him. He kept stroking his arm slowly until he could hear him let out a heavy breath.
     “Is the universe telling you to be somewhere now?” Todd asked.
     “Well, duh, Todd,” Dirk said, “the universe is always telling me to be somewhere, it’s not like I can ever not be anywhere, now is it?” He drew another breath and leaned further into Todd’s side. He put a hand on top of the one Todd had put on his arm. “But right now it’s telling me to be right here,” he said. He closed one eye and held one finger up in the air, like a hiker checking where the wind blows from. Then he nodded to himself. “Yep,” he said, “the universe seems quite content right now.”      Todd moved them so they could both look out the window, and they stayed where they were, on the kitchen floor, with a purring kitten shark in Dirk’s lap and the moon and the street lights shining in.

     After a little while, Todd raised an eyebrow and pointed to the floor.
     “You’ve made two cups of tea,” he stated, raising an eyebrow at Dirk, still with his arms around him. Dirk waved his hand at him.
     “Now, I am of course very well aware that kitten sharks do not drink tea,” he started, giving the kitten in his lap a scratch between the ears, “but I didn’t want to just make myself one.” He looked solemnly up at Todd from his place on his shoulders. “You should never drink tea on your own, Todd.” Dirk nodded his head to himself and sat up. He picked up one of the cups and held it close to his face, with both hands. “Unless you’re home alone, I guess, or it’s been raining and it’s just one of those days, or God forbid, whoever you’re with doesn’t want tea,” he mused, more to himself than to anyone else.
     Todd let a chuckle ripple through his chest. Dirk looked so content where he was sat on the kitchen floor, legs still crossed, clutching his teacup. The heat was still rising from it, and the way he held it made it look like he was warming himself on it. Todd reached for the second cup and carefully picked it up. He had a small sip. It was very sweet, and not really his thing, but he had another taste. Dirk raised an eyebrow at him.
     “I thought you were more of a coffee person, Todd,” he said. Todd just shrugged his shoulders.
     “It’s not too bad, he said, as he put his arm around Dirk again.
     “I am pretty sure you’re just saying that to make me happy,” Dirk said, looking suspiciously up at Todd.
     “And is it working?” Todd asked. Dirk smiled and curled closer into his side.
     “Yes,” was all he answered. His eyes were closed now and he was still clutching his cup between his fingers.
The kitten shark was purring in Dirk’s lap, perfectly content with the amount of affection she was receiving. Dirk was quite content too, it looked like to Todd, as he took a hold of his hand again.
    Maybe they should have gone to bed, they both thought. A bed would definitely be a lot more comfortable. But neither of them could make themselves move and for just as long as they needed it, they stayed like that on the floor, breathing in the feeling of being exactly where they were supposed to be.

Notes:

Once again, thank you so much for reading!
And thank you so much to everyone who left comments and kudos on the last chapter, it's so appreciated and means a lot!
That's two chapters done, two more to go xx

Notes:

Thank you so much for reading!
This is going to be a multi-chapter fic, with more sleepless nights for our boys, because there is something special about post-midnight conversation. Also, I just really like writing quiet, sleepy scenes where nothing much really happens.
And these two. I really like them, too.