Chapter Text
The first person to notice when Kakashi moves back to the village is Anko.
Or maybe it's just that Anko is the first to act on that information.
She shows up at Kakashi's door holding a six pack of beer in each hand wearing the evilest grin possible.
He lets her in any way.
They sit in folding beach chairs out back behind the house, watch the sun go down and drink the beer.
Pakkun lays across Kakashi's feet and falls asleep there. Kakashi likes the warmth and weight. He likes that he can feel Pakkun breathe without having to reach down and check, although he still does, from time to time.
"So," Anko says when she's three beers in and Kakashi's still nursing his first. "You have a job yet?"
"I'm writing," Kakashi says and Anko arches her eyebrows at him he adds. "It's a three book contract, then, well, we'll see how those sell. Plus there's some contract work. "
"That writing too?"
He nods and she props her elbows on her knees. "Well not what I imagined you doing."
He looks down at the can of beer in his hand, drags his thumb through the condensation beading on the side.
"Me neither." He shrugs. "But it makes a change."
"I bet it does."
She doesn't push it further though, Hell, maybe after all these years she's learning a little restraint. Or maybe she's just learned there are some lines not worth crossing.
"What about you?" Kakashi asks. "Last time we saw each other you were working your way up the ranks of that big chemical corporation, making insecticides or something like that."
She gives him a look. They both know she hadn't been making insecticide any more than Kakashi had spent the last decade writing people tickets and finding lost cats for little old ladies.
"Yeah well, I quit." She shrugs one shoulder staring down into her fourth can of beer. "Decide it wasn't what I wanted to do you know? Moved back here. I work for the local government now, forest conservation and land use. The paperwork isn't a lot of fun but I get to be outside every day so that's a plus. There are a lot worse ways to spend your life."
Kakashi looks out across the trees, the hills the slope up in the distance. "Yeah."
"I guess we're kind of in the same position." Anko throws back the rest of her beer in one swallow. "Well good luck on the writing and I hope you stick around this time."
She stands, stretches, gathers up the empties. "By the way, I'm going to tell people about this so expect a visit from Asuma and Kurenai at some point. Oh and Gai although I'm surprised he didn't beat me here already."
Kakashi opens his mouth, although to tell her what he's not sure. Not to tell Gai? In a village, this small Gai will find out sooner or later anyway. Kakashi doesn't want to hide from him per say. He's just not ready yet.
"Well tell them they're welcome here any time." He says instead and Anko gives him a knowing look.
"Uh Huh, well I figured I'd give you a heads up first." She waves one hand when he makes to get him. "Don't bother, I'll let myself out."
Across Kakashi's feet, Pakkun makes a little snuffling-grunting noise in his sleep and rolls over.
***
Kakashi's family home isn't in the actual village.
It's about ten minutes travel by bicycle and longer walking, just far enough to give it a feeling of seclusion. There are trees out behind the house and a pond his father had dug that Kakashi can remember swimming in.
There are farmer's fields across the road from the front of the house and cars pass by rarely.
It's nice, very different from the life Kakashi had known before, of tiny apartments and the constant city noise and crush of people.
He thinks he can get used to this like Anko said, he can be happy here. Or at least he hopes so.
For two days the writing comes in dribs and drabs, even when he sets aside time in the morning just for writing he ends up spending most of the time staring at a blank screen. The words won't come, the ideas dry up and die inside of him before they are even fully formed.
He takes a walk in the forest with Pakkun, walks to town and buys groceries, sits on the porch and reads.
The second night the dam breaks the words flowing out of him almost as fast as he can type them. He doesn't kid himself that they're amazing literature. By the time he lets his hands fall away from the keys though and flops onto his back, exhausted he has a gratifyingly large portion of the first draft down on paper -- or at least computer screen.
He dozes, right there on the floor of his office and doesn't wake fully when the sun sends watery light through the office window to slant down by his face. He does wake though when the pounding starts at the front door.
"Kakashi!"
Kakashi groans and sits up, rubbing one hand across his face.
"Kakashi!"
He rolls to his hands and knees, groans again, this time from the pain in his lower back reminding him he's too old to be sleeping on the floor without the soft cushioning of a futon.
There's a dull pain behind his eyes and the vision in his bad left one has gone blurry and black around the edges to the point of being disorienting. He overdid it last night, spent too many hours straining his eyes in front of a screen in exactly the way his doctor keeps telling him he shouldn't.
Slowly he climbs to his feet.
Pakkun is on high alert body angled between Kakashi and the door, obviously waiting for him to let Pakkun know what to do and how to feel about the situation.
Kakashi bends to touch Pakkun's side. "It's okay." He says. "He's a friend."
At least Kakashi hopes that's true.
It belatedly occurs to him, once he's reached the front hall, that he's still wearing the ratty yukata that he'd thrown on when it had become apparent that he was going to be pulling an all nighter. His hair is standing up in a mad bristle in front and plastered down awkwardly in the back.
He's in no fit state to have company but it's too late now.
It's not like he doesn't know who's on the other side of the door anyway or like he hasn't seen Kakashi in worse states.
Maito Gai,
Two days behind Anko.
Kakashi pulls open the door just as Gai raises his fist to knock again.
"You're late." He leans against the door frame in a stance he hopes looks casual and not like he's about to fall over. "I was expecting you three days ago."
Gai opens his mouth, closes it again and then grins.
Even now, after all these years and with Kakashi's currently limited vision, being faced with Gai's smile is still one of the most overwhelming things Kakashi's ever experienced. He has to look down at the smooth wood of the entryway floor.
"Sorry to disappoint you Kakashi." Gai puts a very large, very warm hand on Kakashi's shoulder. "If I'd known you had been waiting I would have come sooner."
"Uh ..." Kakashi blinks and tries to focus on Gai's face and not on the feeling of Gai's hand. "You want to come inside?"
"Of course." Gai gives Kakashi's shoulder a friendly squeeze and Kakashi holds himself very still so he doesn't flinch.
Kakashi studies him as Gai takes off his shoes.
He looks exactly the same even after so long.
He's still tall, with the same wide expanse of shoulders, the same smooth black hair framing his face, and the same dark eyes. His smile is still so wide and open, his teeth very white.
He's wearing a dark green tracksuit and running shoes that have orange stripes along the sides. Kakashi is almost certain he ran here from the village.
"So, uh ..." Kakashi says. "How have you been?" Then winces at how inadequate and ridiculous the question is.
Gai though doesn't seem to mind. "I have been exceptionally well Kakashi," He says. "Better once I heard you have moved back to the village. Not that you're work wasn't honorable and important but I have missed you." Gai says it so easily, with a fond smile thrown in Kakashi's direction as he straightening up.
While Kakashi feels each word lodge in his chest, so big and painful they must surely break him apart. He slumps against the wall, arms folded as if to create a protective barrier or maybe just keep his insides from spilling out.
Gai doesn't seem to notice but continues on. "The dojo has been doing well. It is my greatest joy to work with all of the young students who go there. Oh and the students who are young in heart of course, many of the older members of the village have found time in their lives for some rigorous youthful exercise." Gai puts one big hand over his heart, a little tear in his eye as he says it.
"Uh." Kakashi says, pulling himself together. "I need tea, do you want a cup of tea Gai?"
Gai blinks at him, then looks touched. "I would appreciate a cup of tea. Thank you Kakashi."
Kakashi makes another inarticulate noise he hopes conveys what not a problem it is and shuffles into the kitchen to turn on the electric kettle.
When he turns around Pakkun has emerged from further in the house to sniff at Gai's legs.
"Hello, little friend," Gai says and Pakkun gives him a bored look before going to investigate the state of his food bowl.
Kakashi takes a plastic container of chicken and pumpkin out of the refrigerator and fills Pakkun's bowl before fixing two cups of tea for him and Gai.
Gai sits at the kitchen table while Kakashi leans against the counter. They both sip their tea.
"So what are you doing now?" Gai asks. "Because if you need a job --"
"Thanks but I have work," Kakashi says before Gai can no doubt offer Kakashi a position at the dojo. "I'm writing, books actually, well books and some freelance stuff, but it's enough."
Gai perks up at this and Kakashi knows he's going to ask before Gai ever opens his mouth.
"That's amazing, Kakashi, if you told me the title of your books I would love to read them."
"I'm not really sure they're the kind of books you'd enjoy," Kakashi says.
Gai had always enjoyed nonfiction, books that taught him how to do something new and probably useful sprinkled through with biographies of famous martial artists. His guilty pleasures consisting of adventure stories with brave heroes doing great deeds.
Kakashi's books are all about ordinary women, usually in their forties, getting second chances at love. No one ever fights anyone else, in his books, no one days and they always end happily.
"Even so I would like to support a friend and local author," Gai tells him earnestly.
Kakashi gives up and shrugs then rattles off his pen name the titles of his first two books.
Gai produces a pencil and notebook from inside his tracksuit and jots in the information down.
"You should come to dinner." He says after he tucks the notebook away again. "My father would love to see you again I'm sure and Lee and I would love to have you to our home."
"Lee?" Kakashi tries to remember if there was some sort of mutual acquaintance by that name, maybe from school, but he can't think of anyone.
"My son," Gai says and Kakashi's whole world stop for a split second.
He takes a deep, careful breath.
The cup between his hands steams gently, the ceramic of the cup has warmed enough to be noticeably hot against his palms and fingertips.
The faucet behind him dripped a little.
The pain behind his eyes aches and throbs.
He needs to take his medication and get some sleep. Or at the very least lay somewhere with his eyes closed for a couple hours.
He shouldn't be surprised really. It had been ten years and he'd never intended to come back anyway.
This -- this right now, had never been part of the plan.
But he'd thought sometimes, let himself fantasize about maybe when his life was better when he was better, and he'd untangled everything that had ended up being such a mess he'd come back and ask Gai ... well ...
It didn't matter now.
Gai had moved on because of course, he had, after all this time. Although Gai had not, Kakashi had noticed, mentioned a partner along with a son.
"I'm sure Naruto will be happy to see you as well." Gai is saying. He gives Kakashi a smile, strangely reserved for Gai. "Or come by the dojo. Perhaps we can spar again sometime."
"Yeah," Kakashi says although he's starting to think his best course of action is to spend as little time as possible around Gai.
It might be easier for everyone that way.
Then the full impact of Gai had said catch up with him and he frowns.
"Wait, Naruto? Minato-sensei and Kushina's son?"
"Yes. He had been living with Lee and I for the last few years."
"I thought he'd gone to live with Kushina's family." Kakashi struggles to remember through the fear and grief clouding most of those memories. "A cousin? I thought ..."
"It didn't end up working out," Gai says in such a reserved tone that it instantly tells Kakashi that there is a lot more to this story that for whatever reason Gai is reluctant to share.
Probably because Gai doesn't believe in laying blame when doing so doesn't serve any immediate purpose. Kakashi isn't as generous but he can find out what he wants to know without Gai telling him.
The last time Kakashi can remember seeing Naruto he'd been a baby, cheeks streaked with tears and snot but he'd be eleven now, maybe twelve.
Kakashi is hit by a wave of guilt he should have come back, should have taken in Minato-sensei's son as Minato and Kushina had once done for him. He shouldn't have been gone so long.
Gai is studying him, one big hand still around his cup tea. "I'm glad you're back and I hope ..." He hesitates for a moment, another strange thing on Gai. "I hope we can continue to be friends."
Kakashi feels his insides twist, his chest completely hollowing out at that.
Gai is looking at him with wide dark eyes, hopeful and not hesitant as much as patience -- patiently waiting for Kakashi to make the first move, take the first step.
Like always.
Kakashi wants -- needs -- to say yes. Wants to close the distance between them. Just wants Gai.
Like always.
He clears his throat, takes a sip of tea. "I, um ... am not sure how much of a challenge I'd be as a sparring partner these days."
Slowly Gai's face breaks into a wide grin. "Still playing cool I see Kakashi."
"Gai," Kakashi half turns away to hide his own smile. "Only you think I'm cool."
"Here." Gai has taken a business card out the same pocket as his notebook (how much is he carrying in this tracksuit?) and slide it across the table. "I know you remember perfectly well where the dojo is. But this also has my phone number and email address on it."
The business card is green, with Gai's information in bold black, with a kind of iridescent sheen laid across the whole thing that catches the light in interesting ways. Kakashi thinks as he takes it, that it's very Gai.
"Thanks," He says and then makes a quick decision setting aside his cup and heading for the office.
He comes back into the kitchen a moment later with one of his own business cards, his author business card, with his pen name and website printed on it.
"In case you forget." He holds the card out to Gai who takes it.
If Gai wants to know all the details of Kakashi writing life and career they'll be his to know now.
"Thank you," Gai says gravely and then stands. "I really am sorry to leave you so soon but I promised Lee we would go on a run together this morning." His expression brightens noticeably. "You are welcome to join us if you want."
Kakashi waves one hand. "Not this morning Gai, I had a long night last night and need to get some sleep."
Gai just nods and accepts it although Kakashi doesn't think he'll be able to get out of exercising with Gai forever.
He sees Gai to the door and waves as Gai takes off back down the road at a fast jog.
Then he goes back inside and collapses in his office.
Pakkun comes in and puts his nose worriedly against Kakashi's face until Kakashi uncurls enough to stroke his sides and head, rub behind his ears.
It's quiet and soothing the room filled with the sound of both their breathing.
For a long time he doesn't think of anything at all but eventually, he thinks about Gai.
Gai smiling at him. Gai saying I hope we can continue to be friends.
He rolls onto his back and stares up at the low ceiling.
He remembers Gai saying my rival , the way Gai's hand had felt carding gently through his hair, touching his face.
The weight of Gai's hand in his.