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“So yeah.” Hajime finishes lamely. “That’s it.”
The table is silent, across from him, Souda sucks on his straw, shellshocked.
“So.” Kuzuryu cuts in, laying his hands flat on the table. “You’re just telling us once again, that you have shit taste, right Hajime?”
“I would have thought that was kind of fucking obvious, Kuzuryu” Hajime shoots back, clenching his own perfectly normal boring coke in his hands. “Seeing as-”
“Shit taste.” Souda finally echos, the straw dangling from his lips. He looks like Hajime had just run over his cat. “Dude you don’t really-”
“I do.” Hajime buries his head in his “I don’t know if this is like, a curse? Where he has to pay for being so attractive, by like, being crazy and unbearable in every other respect.”
“Hajime if I didn’t know you better I would think that sounded almost fucking endearing.” Kuzuryu’s eyes are wide. “We’re talking about the same Komaeda Nagito right? The one who hates you? Who has done nothing but fucking rag on you since the exuberant amount of bullshit fucking shenanigans that it took to get your ass in the main course?”
“Yes Kuzuryuu.” Hajime deadpans. “I would have a very hard time forgetting those “bullshit fucking shenanigans”
“Awesome because I hate talking about that! Or explaining it! Who knows how it happens!” Kuzuryu throws his hands up in the air. “What I’m saying, is you are the most disgusting basic motherfucker if you’re falling for our resident crazy white haired twink!”
“Are you even sure he’s a twink, man?” Souda has somehow chewed his straw to pieces and is working through his nails, clearly anxious. “He could be ripped under that jacket, we don’t know-”
“He’s a twink! I’m not repeating myself!!” Kuzuryuu throws a napkin at Souda, making the other boy stutter and choke. He turns to Hajime with resulting horror. “Fuck. Hajime if you like twinks, I’m saying right now. I don’t care if this shark toothed idiot declared us soul brothers, I’m not being your rebound.”
“What.” Hajime blinks, trying to process Kuzuryuu’s words. “What are you even saying??”
“I’m going to confess to Peko!!” Kuzuryuu’s voice raises an octave above his acceptable “cool badass yakuza” voice. “I can’t date you!! Souda, you fucker, tell him I can’t be his rebound.”
Souda blinks, eyes switching from Hajime to Kuzuryuu in turn. “Well.” He reaches for another straw but Kuzuryuu slaps his hand away. Souda reels back, tears in his eyes. “Oowowow! Fine! Don’t date him dude!! Go rebound with one of those underclassmen.”
“Like who??? Naegi Makoto??” Kuzuyruu hisses. “Don’t be fucking stupid, that’d be so gross. It’d look like he was dating his little brother.”
“M-maybe some chicks here would find that kinda hot- OW! Stop! Fine I was talking about the Togami kid!! Look,he’s mean!! And a twink!!”
“Wow Souda…” Kuzuryuu drawls, sitting back. “That was actually coherent. Thank you very fucking much.”
“Guys,” Hajime barely contains the strain in his voice. “I’m serious, what the fuck.”
“Listen Hajime.” Kuzuryu has somehow procured a switch blade from god knows where, and slams it into the shitty Denny’s table with a bang loud enough to make Souda scream and fall to the floor. “We can’t let you in good conscious, confess to Komaeda Nagito, because then we would have to hang out with him.”
Souda nods mulishly from behind Kuzuryuu.
“Listen.” Hajime carefully extracts the switchblade from the table with one hand, and rubs his temples with the other. “I was just- Jesus christ I wasn’t going to confess yet. This is just a little shitty sexual attraction to our classmate. Can- hey can you please calm down.”
Kuzuryu stares down at Hajime from on top of the Dennys table like a malevolent god. Apparently stabbing public property wasn’t doing enough for him, because he kicks Hajime’s pancakes off the table with a stomp. Hajime watches them sail through the air mournfully but not without resignation. Fine. He didn’t want strawberry syrup anyway, jackass.
“Hajime Hinata.” He points down at Hajime, who tries to communicate with his eyes that this is not in any way a publicly accepted activity. “I swear on my family name. Me and Souda will set you up with literally anyone else, literally fucking anyone, jesus christ. We will stop this. This is my word as a man.”
“I don’t need this.” Hajime is so so tired. He had hoped, maybe a public area for this confession would smooth things over. The lack of a fistfight wasn’t worth it. “Kuzuryuu please sit down.”
“To late.” Kuzuryuu grins and lowers his thumb. “Cuz, the backup plan is I kill you both. You’ll like plan A.”
“I want the backup plan. ” Hajime thinks, If there is a god, make Kuzuryuu use his backup plan.”
+++
“Hm.” Nanami leans backward to get a better angle on her game. “Well, it could have gone worse, I think.”
“We were kicked out of Dennys” Hajime stares straight ahead, a haunted man. “Is that possible? I thought Denny’s was like, a liminal space, god isn’t present, you can do what you want.”
“Hmm” Nanami, sticks out her tongue a little as her fingers fly across the GameGirl. “It’s...run by a corporation Hajime. Even if some shops seem like they’re PVP enabled, the shopkeeper is always higher level.”
“I..” Hajime tears his gaze back to try and meet Nanami’s eyes.”Please don’t make gaming metaphors during my mental breakdown.”
Nanami bops him on the head with a controller. “Then stop whining. It’s not so bad. Kuzuryu and Souda are nice, they won’t...okay they’ll get you in trouble…” She trails off, eyes unfocusing.”But nmh, they probably won’t get you in the worst trouble. That would be Komaeda.”
“Yeah.” Hajime looked at his hand. “It sure would be.”
Nanami’s GameGirl beeps cheerfully as she clears the level, she looks up blearily, rubbing her eyes with the sleeve. “Mhm. Okay I timed it. Kuzuryuu and Souda should be coming any second now.”
Hajime looks up and yup, there they are, picking their way across the park. Souda is already waving. Hajime waves back, vaguely.
Nanami’s pats his head, her face is deadly serious. “I’m not very good at dating sims, but Souda texted me so I spent all night-” She cuts herself off with a yawn. “Playing yandere dating sims. For reference.”
“I don’t even know how to respond to that Nanami.” Hajime looks to the sky. No help is forthcoming.
She wags a finger tiredly. “Make sure you remember the right gifts. And mrghm. Don’t pick another girl halfway unless you want the bad ending.”
“I will keep that in mind.” Hajime shoves her face away a little, watching Nanami sway back and forth. “Why don’t you actually get some sleep while I’m gone, okay?”
“Mhmzz” Nanami mumbles, already slumped over. “Bye.”
+++
“Ok” Kuzuryu says, looking through a small black notebook that looks way to professional for the situation. He even brought Peko with him, which was even worse. It meant he was actually serious. “So, we can cross Naegi Makoto off the list because of your terrifyingly similar genetics. And I tried to get Souda to talk to the Togami kid, but he wasn’t having any.”
Souda pulled his beanie down. “D-dude. That guy is scary. He said he was going to sell my family if I talked to him again.”
“Souda, given the legal opportunity I would also sell your family.” Kuzuryuu taps his pen to his notebook, glaring. “I only refrain because you would become even more annoying and even more of a crybaby if we killed your dad.”
“We could make it look like an accident.” Peko offers, helpfully.
Soudas sniffles turn to full out tears. Hajime pats him on the back awkwardly, while glaring at the horrible pair of morally bankrupt individuals he decides to spend his time with.
“How about.” Hajime can scarcely believe his words. “Instead of focusing on killing shitty families, we talk about my love life. Because you seem so interested in that.”
“First rule of running a gang, Hajime” Kuzuryu points his pen at Hajime like a sword. “Komaeda Nagito isn’t allowed. Just no. Never.”
“Never.” Peko repeats, helpfully , tapping her sword.
“Am I in a gang???” Actually you know what? Hajime doesn’t even want the answer to that so he keeps going before Kuzuryuu can answer. “Kuzuryuu, look, this is just a crush. I wasn’t going to go through with it.”
“That doesn’t matter dude!!” Souda actually pipes up wiping his eyes. “Saionji will...she’s totally gonna find out. Or the Imposter, or Ibuki always somehow figures this stuff out and announces it. Remember those things she said about me to Sonia?”
“Ibuki didn’t need to say those things for Sonia to know you had a crush.” Hajime snaps. Souda’s eyes brim with tears again and he quickly switches tracks. He is dealing with too much to keep calming Souda down. “Ok ok but I get what you mean. Nobody in this class can keep a secret.”
“Damn straight.” Kuzuryu says. “You think I wanna see the shitshow fallout of this? Nobody does Hajime. We are performing a valuable service for humanity here. We are fulfilling our duty to hope.”
“Are...you quoting Jin Kirigiri?” Hajime blinks.
“Absolutely not.” Kuzuryu says. “I’m quoting my own brilliant ass self, fuck you.”
“I don’t think it’s really wise to quote hope when talking about Komaeda.” Peko chims in, her lips curled slightly upward. “Who knows what might happen?”
Kuzuryu looks like he just swallowed a lemon. The awkward silence stretches on, as they wait for Komaeda to appear.
By some stroke of luck, they are spared. The group lets out a collective breath.
“Fine, okay, I’ll make this short.” Kuzuryuu holds up his notebook. “Plan A of getting you blind dates with all the jerkish effeminate dudes on campus failed. So we’re moving to plan A.2.”
“The backup plan?” Hajime says, hopefully.
“Not yet.” Kuzuryu says sadly. “I still need the two of you around, for now. Which is why me and Peko talked last night.”
Peko nodded. “Fuyuhiko was very convincing and I believe we have arrived on the solution. If it is Komaedas physical appearance that is the issue, then I have agreed to fix it.” Her hand returns to her sword hilt once again.
“Fix it….” Hajime’s voice is so faint he can barely hear it. “With...a sword?”
“It’s only a bamboo sword.” Peko says calmly. She grimaces a little. “It’s not like I will enjoy attacking a classmate. But Fuyuhiko convinced me this is necessary to protect you all.”
“With...a sword..” Hajime echos again, because maybe then it would make fucking sense. “Your solution to my romantic issues is to beat my crush up with a fucking sword.”
“Um, pretty much?” Souda gave him a pair of thumbs up. “I got Mikan on speed dial if we need her! We just figured you should come so you can tell us when he’s not hot anymore!”
“You already kidnapped him didn’t you.” It’s not even a question.
“Duh. We wouldn’t come get you if we weren’t prepared.” Kuzuyru scratches his nose dismissively. “I even asked that freaky underclassman to predict his luck cycle so we could get him no problem.”
“We aren’t beating Komaeda up.” Hajime put his hands up. “We aren’t. I don’t condone this. I can’t believe I tell you guys anything. This is the worst day of my entire life.”
Kuzuryu rolled his eyes and muttered something about Hajime being a pussy. Peko stared impassively. Only Souda had the decency to look embarrassed, biting his lip.
“Okay but…” He fiddled with his beanie. “If we aren’t beating him up. Then why did we tie him up in the storage closet?”
+++
Komaeda looks far too happy to be tied up, when Hajime pushes open the door. It’s not an expression Hajime ever wanted to see on his face, least it add to any fantasies he didn’t even know he had.
If this situation awoke anything within him, Hajime swears, he’s going to kill Kuzuryuu and then himself.
The minete Komaeda’s eyes adjust long enough to see who had apparently entered the building, his expression falls into a mix of scorn and disgust.
“Oh.” Is all he says, letting his eyes gloss over Hajime and towards Kuzuryu. “I don’t suppose there's any meaning to this? I’m afraid someone as lowly and simple as me can’t even begin to comprehend why you would bring such utterly boring irrelevant people together into this room. Why,” He pauses for a breath. “I doubt we will be able to do anything interesting enough to satisfy you for even an instant, Kuzuryuu.”
“Wow.” Kuzuryu turns to Hajime arms crossed. “We can still beat him up, if you want. I have a baseball bat in my car. You can have my old golf club. It can be a whole thing.”
“No thank you.” Hajime turns away, trying to find something sharp to cut ropes with. “I’m not a psychopath.”
“I don’t mind being beaten.” Komaeda chimes in from the floor, because of course he has to. Hajime can’t have one moment of fucking peace. Once again, he considers how maybe, if Komaeda could just, stop, for like five minutes, Hajime might be able to have a normal fucking crush like a normal fucking person.
“In fact,” Komaeda continues unaware and uncaring of Hajimes personal struggles. “To be beaten by the Ultimate Yakuza would be such an honor! And with the help of an ex reserve course student, I suppose you’ve finally decided to put me in my place!”
“See, even Komaeda likes the plan.” Kuzuryuu grumbles. “I can’t believe you made me talk Peko into this for nothing.”
“Ah! You brought the Ultimate Swordsmen to assist you?” Komaedas eyes close in bliss. Hajime looks somewhere else. “How truly lucky! I thought being kidnapped, drugged, and thrown in a storage closet was bad luck, but now I see it was good luck.”
Hajime cuts him off with a cold clear snip as he clips through the ropes binding Komaeda. He offers him a hand a little hesitantly. “Um. Sorry. I don’t know why they did this.”
Komaeda stares at the hand with a moment of unguarded shock, before his smug smile slips into place. “Of course.” He takes Hajimes hand easily. Hajime’s heart absolutely does not do flip flops. “I would imagine you would struggle to comprehend the minds of Ultimates. Respecting ones betters is something everyone should work on!”
“Mhm. Yeah. Sure.” Hajime sighs, helping the other boy to his feet. Maybe, once that would have stung, but after a year or so, it just sort of rang hollow. In the corner of his eye, he could see Kuzuryuu rolling his eyes. “Are you alright?”
“Absolutely fine.” Komaeda beams. It would be cute, if it wasn’t Komaeda but because Hajime has shit fucking taste , it wraps around to being kind of cute anyway. “Kuzuryuu used perhaps the nicest chloroform I’ve ever been knocked out with. I barely felt a thing.”
“Hey!” Kuzuryuu growls. “I. I only have the fucking best okay. I’m the Ultimate Yakuza, it’s not my fault all your kidnappers are shitty part timers.”
“Of course!” Komaeda brings his hands together like he’s in prayer. “I would expect the efforts of such substandard individuals to be horrific to you. Please, feel free to kidnap me again!”
“Okay. Lets not.” Hajime pushes Komaeda’s shoulders a little, steering him out of the closet. “Yup. Here we go.”
“Well, I’m not sure what’s going on.” Komaeda continues to ramble. “But I’m happy to have helped in any way I could! It was wonderful seeing you both!” Hajime slams the shed door shut behind him.
He rounds on Kuzuryu.
Kuzuryu shrugs.
+++
“Okay, so plan A.2 backfired because Hajime is a pussy who won’t beat up his crush like a real man.” Kuzuryu crunched a chip vengefully, putting his feet up on the table. Beside him, Peko seemed enthralled trying to pet one of Tanaka’s hamsters when she thought he wasn’t looking.
“So I’ve decided to focus group a little, bring a little diversity in. Really deal with this, like real mature fucking adults”
Gundam chuckled, raising a bandaged hand. “Ahaha, The situation is all to clear to those possessing the Evil Eye. Our classmate is possessed by the cursed desires of a malevolent succubus! A dark shades machinations!” He cracks open one eye, smirking. “Soon, that cursed white shade will reveal his true nature as a gate to Hell.”
“Hmmm” Ibuki sways back and forth. “Ibuki doesn’t understand what Tanaka-chan is saying, but she agrees!!”
Sonia giggles and sets her tea down. “Ah, yes, it certainly is exciting isn’t it. Quite the unlikely pairing. I wouldn’t really expect such a thing from you, Hajime.”
Hajime groaned from his place at the end of the table, head buried in his arms.
“Okay quick question.” Souda raises his hand. “Not that I mind, but why did we invite these two. Like I get going to Sonia for romantic advice, but uh…”
Kuzuryu throws a chip across the table. “Because fuck you. Ibuki somehow found out about this meeting and invited her own fucking self, and Sonia invited Gundam because she doesn’t understand what “confidential” means.”
“Ibuki thinks it’s important to support friends in their time of need!” She waves leaning over to pat Hajime. “And Hajime-chan is in super duper need right now! The matters of the heart are so super duper important, Ibuki is skipping band practice.”
“I am inclined to agree with Ibuki” Sonia nods. “And I figured if an exorcism is needed, then it would be easier to invite Tanaka-san rather then go get him later.”
“Tch, the wily mistress of the west did indeed request my presence.” Gundam scoffed. “Behold! I have prepared your reckoning!”
He twisted his fingers, paper fanning between the bandages.
Hajime looked up blearily. “Aren’t those just shrine talismans?” They didn’t even look like good talismans. They looked like the shitty 500 yen kind, the sort you got at really cheap temples.
“Heh! Do you doubt their power! These were blessed by insane wizard priests of temples more glorious than your reckoning. Only those who swore their allegiance only to the dread Lord of Ice may partake in them!”
“Oh! A real exorcism! How exciting!” Sonia clapped her hands.
Hajime glared at Kuzuryuu until he cleared his throat.
“You can put the exorcism down as plan A.6 or something. As much as evidence suggests fucking otherwise, I don’t think Komaeda is an actual demon.”
“Dude.” Souda looks up, eyes shining with fear. “Don’t even joke. He’ll like suck your soul out and use it as a stepping stone for hope or something.”
“Ah! For once the crazed shark toothed demon sees clearly. How surprising.” Gundam almost seemed...sad? Hajime decides not to even fucking consider this. He raises his own hand.
Ibuki rattles in her seat beside him. “Oh oh! Hajime! Hajime what do you have to say! Would you date a demon Hajime?”
“Irrelevant question.” He replies. Souda whines behind him. “Kuzuryuu, can I ask you a question.”
“Shoot, Hajime.”
“Can I leave?”
It’s not like Hajime expected anything better, but he can’t help cringing at the way the entire room turns on him.
“No.” Kuzuryu replies immediately.
“No” Peko echos.
“Nope!!!” Ibuki cheers.
“Absolutely not.” Sonia smiles dreamily. Behind her, Gundam makes a strange hand symbol.
“Uh…” Souda looks between Hajime and the rest of their class. He gave Hajime a helpless shrug. “No…?”
“Are you even listening.” Hajime says. “Are you even capable of listening, like, I keep telling you. It doesn’t really matter .”
“Hajime.” Sonia’s eyes are shining. “As if we could let the flame of your passion die so quietly. These two might be against it, but I think you should absolutely confess!”
“Hey!” Souda and Kuzuryuu are both on their feet in an instant, the latter practically frothing at the mouth. “We brought you here to help us figure out how to stop this! Not kickstart it!”
“Hmmm” Sonia closed her eyes. “Well, it was worth a shot...Anyway! I want to see an exorcism! Gundam says he knows one that’s real “neato”. So I say we do that! “
Somehow, the conversation continues after that, but Hajime stops listening.
+++
“I said I’m sorry okay.” Hajime said, for the fifth time, as he kneeled behind Komaeda to try and cut the leather bindings tying him to the strange symbol Gundam had drawn to the ground. “I didn’t think they were actually going to perform an exorcism.”
“It’s quite alright!” Komaeda closes his eyes dreamily. “I would never think of being so presumptuous to think that an exorcism would cleanse me of my horrible trash ridden soul, practically lower than dirt….but it was an interesting experience!”
“...” Hajime sat up, glaring. “Do you just, think its okay to say stuff like that? Like actually?”
Komaeda cracked an eye open. His smile was still friendly, but Hajime could read a mood shift for what it was. “Well, I think it’s quite obvious. What do you think, Hajime?”
“I think.” Hajime pinched his nose. “That your self deprecation is nearly as exhausting as your constant insults. I would appreciate it if you could stop.”
“I understand, do you only want me to remain quiet when I’m tied up, or all the time?” Komaeda pursed his lips. “As much as I hate obeying an ex reserve course student, its an interesting course in humility. So...I think it’s okay! It’ll just help me be a better stepping stone for Hope!”
“I. No! Shut up!” His hands nearly slip on the last cut as Hajime tries to propel himself as far away from Komeda as possible. Maybe even die. “No! God can you react to any of this normally!”
“React to my kidnapping and exorcism...normally?” Komaeda sing songs as he rolls over to face Hajime. “Hm. I thought I was doing a good job at remaining calm. But then again, for someone like me, this sort of thing is hardly outside the norm. Ahaha, I’m so unlucky to live an abnormal life.”
“Stop.” Hajime shakes his head. The really sensible part of him just wants to get up and leave. To ignore this. But the stupid part, t he dumbass basic bitch part, the part that actually wants to understand Komeda, keeps going. “Just stop.”
“Stop?” Komeda tilts his head. “I’m afraid I don’t follow.”
“Like.” Hajime’s hands make little claws in the air as he tries to explain. “Stop?? Saying this shit? Nobody wants to hear it, and I’m not saying that because like, we all hate you and think your garbage or something okay?? It’s because you are a genuinely concerning person? Its concerning? Please, seek help?”
“Huh.” Komaeda says, blinking. “That’s really weird, I thought for sure you were going to go for the confession there.”
Hajime's brain decides to leave the rest of his body behind like a lizard detaching its tail to escape the apparent myriad of mistakes he has made in his life that are compounding into this one moment.
“Huh?” He says eloquently. “What?”
“Well.” Komaeda says brightly, like he isn’t personally responsible for Hajimes very own death. “I mean, it was pretty good timing. Sonia even made Gundam switch out his candles for ones with better mood lighting.”
“I...what?” Hajime gapes, uncomprehending. “Wait what, who, who told you!”
“You think someone had to tell me?” Komaeda blinked owlishly. “Well I understand that you would assume true ultimates would figure out before me. And yes, Saionji did drop some very obvious hints to me after you didn’t invite her to your little meeting. But really, you aren’t as subtle as you think, Hajime! You should work on your poker face.”
“Bye.” It takes Hajime a few tries to get to his feet, but he knows when to cut his losses “Nice talk. Bye.”
“Hm.” Komaeda blinks. “I don’t really understand. We’ve already established I know, so you’re leaving before you even get an answer?”
“Well,” Hajime rounds on him. “Maybe I don’t want an answer! Maybe everyone blew this really out of proportion! Maybe I’m the only one in this class smart enough to know you aren’t ready for a relationship!” Hajime can’t even stop himself from a dramatic point. “I don’t get you at all. You pretty much hate me because of some stupid thing with talent.”
He takes a deep breath. “And maybe I kinda get that, holding talent above all else, so I can live with it, but….”
He wants to stop but Komaeda is looking at him, really looking at him so he keeps going. “But if I actually cared about you at all, I wasn’t going to say shit, okay? Because somebody here has to be fucking, emotionally mature about this.”
Komaeda keeps staring, Hajime throws up his hands.
“Okay yes I kind of admitted it! Are you happy now? Please lambast me with another weird self deprecating insult that compares both of us to dirt.”
Komaeda stares.
Hajime stares back for a second before looking down.
“Fine. Okay. Well I untied you so I’m just going to like…go….”
He slams the door shut behind him, to fast and loud to hear the tinny beginnings of Komaeda's laugh.
+++
“So yeah.” Hajime finishes lamely, staring down at his feet. “That’s it. I was thinking of just, you know, dropping out after this.”
“Mhmmm” Nanami hums. “No. It’s okay. You made it sound worse than it actually was.”
“That’s exactly how it happened though.” Hajime groans, and then stops, stricken. “Wait….Nanami-san...how did you know how it actually went.”
That actually gets her to look up. Despite the heavy bags under her eyes, her gaze is remarkable alert. “You really shouldn’t let Sonia set anything up. She had Souda-kun bug the entire place.”
Hajime is too tired to even get angry about that. He used up all his anger in this last week. He just slumps further back against the bench, eyes wide. “That traitor.”
“I heard he lasted a remarkable minute against her onslaught.” Nanami's eyes flick back to her game, but her lips curl up in a small smile. “Something about wanting to protect his Soul Friend’s privacy.”
“I still don’t forgive him.” Hajime grunts, rolling his eyes.
“I know.” Nanami teases, settling against his shoulder as she focuses in on her video game.
They sit in comfortable silence for a while. Eventually, Hajime is the one to break it.
“Nanami-san…” He mumbles. “You played all those romance sims. You saw how it went. How badly did I fuck up?”
Nanami blinks, and actually looks up from her game to ponder this.
“Well.” She starts softly. “It could have gone better. And it could have gone worse. So this is a neutral ending, I think.”
“A….neutral ending?” Hajime prompts, trying to decipher Nanami’s advice. She’s his best friend, but sometimes he wishes he had a Rosetta stone to cut through all her bullshit and figure out what she was actually saying.
“Yeah.” Chiaki raises a finger, smiling a little more. “They’re not really relegated to dating sims! They’re actually more common in JRPG’s!” She pats his shoulder a little. “A neutral ending is like...the mix of a good and a bad ending. In the end, nothing really changed all that much, and nothing really got resolved in a way anyone likes.”
“Sounds pretty accurate.” Hajime smirks a little at his own expense. “I don’t think anyone liked the way this turned out.”
“Well Sonia was pretty happy…” Chiaki mused, and then perked up. “Hey, but I didn’t finish! The good thing about neutral endings...is usually you can try again later, and you might get the good or bad ending. Neutral endings aren’t really endings, if that makes sense.”
Hajime turned that around in his head a few times, nodding. “Ok...say that’s true. What’s the bad ending here?”
“Hm…” Nanami’s eyes turn downwards. “I think confessing to Komeada-kun would be the bad ending. You could have worded it better, but you were kind of right about him not being ready. And he...when he doesn’t want to do something, sometimes he’s more likely to do it, just to hurt himself.” She signed, poking at her GameGirl. “And I don’t think that’s fair to either of you.”
“Yeah…” Hajime nods quietly. “Probably.”
The silence stretches on, echoing up into the woods, and vanishing in the call of the crickets.
“So what was the good ending then.”
“Oh that’s easy.” Nanami grins, nudging him. “Never telling Kuzuryu or Souda at all, I can’t believe you thought that was a good idea.”
“H-hey!” Hajime raises his hands. “They’re good friends, and I thought maybe I should tell somebody.”
“Next time you want to tell somebody something, tell me.” Nanami’s tone is slightly smug. She pokes Hajime’s cheek a little.“ ‘Cause I can keep secrets unlike some people . Honestly, you wouldn’t believe what people tell you when you’re quiet and don’t look like you’re paying attention.”
“Hahah. Fine fine! You win!” Hajime pushes her away, ruffling her hair a little. “You’ll be the keeper of all my secrets from now on, honorable Class Rep.”
“As it should be.” Nanami says, solemnly. “Now. Why don’t you tell me exactly how this crush of yours started.”
They chat for a while longer, till the sun is setting past the trees and Nanami has to go to Yukizome-sensei’s office to do some work.
Hajime sits along on the bench, watching the sunset, feeling calmer then he has in days.
And of course, as luck would have it, that was exactly the moment Nagito Komeada came walking down the path to the reserve course, stopping straight in his tracks.
Hajime stared at Komaeda
Komaeda stared Hajime.
Surprisingly, it’s Komeada who breaks eye contact first, if only to give Hajime small wave. His face lacks its trademark sunny smile. In fact, if he wasn’t so skeptical, he would thing Komeada looks slightly hesitant. Hajime’s stomach ties itself up into knots, and Komeada simply stares, face oddly blank.
But maybe that was for the best. He was tired for seeing Komaedas fake smiles
Despite himself, he waves back.
Maybe neutral endings aren’t the worst, after all.
+++
“Over these past three years, we've talked about a lot of things, haven't we? About your luck... Listening to that…”
“Honestly, I still don't feel like I understand you. But even so... After we've talked this much... I can't let it end like this.”
“I think there's a lot of things about me you'll never understand…”
“Maybe, but even so...I don't want to leave things like this.”
…..
…..
“.
.. Do you think there would be any meaning in us being friends, Hajime?”
“Yes. Even something as simple as that... might change things.”