Chapter Text
So once more with feeling: I do not own the West Wing or any of its characters. But at this point I think the Powers that be should be a heck of a lot more worried about the upcoming strikes than they are about me. This piece is a sequel to "As You Wish" which I guess you don't need to have read first but it will make more sense. References up to and including "17 people". Most glaring spoilers are for "The Stackhouse Filibuster", "Lame Duck Congress", "ITSOTG", "The Crackpots and These Women" and the Pilot. Thanks as always for reading my work, I hope you enjoy it. -B.G.
What You Will
By The Bondi Gargoyle
"Josh I'm going to lunch. Do you want anything?" Donna called.
"Are you going to the mess?" he hollered back.
"No, Bonnie and I are heading over to the Big Dome Diner. Do you want a reuben?"
"No," Josh appeared in his doorway "I want you to eat in the mess."
"Why?" she demanded testily
"For a start, the Big Dome is right next to the House Office Building."
"Well thanks for pointing that out. Have you decided to moonlight as a tour guide in your many hours of free time?"
"How about you humour me and avoid Bryan Kitler's stomping ground for a mere twenty-four hours?"
"It's broad daylight out there, what do you think is going to happen?"
"I don't care if it's the midnight sun, I want you staying close to home."
"Gee Dad, what are you going to do the next time I go on a date?"
"Well presumably it won't be with Bryan Kitler, who is today my main concern, but now that you mention it, I've been working out an arrangement with the Secret Service guys for just such an occurrence." Josh announced smugly
"Is this because I decided not to press charges?"
"No, although, as I told you earlier, I think that's a mistake."
"And as I told you, it was more of a near miss than an assault."
"Sure as hell didn't look like a near miss to me." The surrounding staff tried to look busy as Josh's voice rose a few notches.
"Josh, we're going to be lucky if he doesn't press charges against you for threatening him with that damn bat!" Donna too, was getting louder.
"He's not going to press charges, we've got taped evidence on him. Evidence of him attacking you, so why you won't pursue this is beyond me!"
"It's also my goddamn business!" They were both yelling now.
"And you're telling me to stay out of it?"
"Yes, that's exactly what I'm telling you, not that you ever listen."
"Fine, I'll stay out of your business and you stay out of the Big Dome Diner!"
"I hate to tell you this but you can't ground me."
" Watch me." Josh replied, suddenly dropping back to his normal speaking voice. He pulled a legal pad off his desk "I need these files in the next half an hour."
Donna scanned the list "These are kept all over the building."
"Then you better get to work."
Bonnie joined them "Ready to go?"
"Have you met my boss, Ghengis Josh?" Donna growled, exasperated, waving the legal pad with an angry flick of her wrist.
"Guess you're working through lunch."
Josh pulled out his wallet and handed over a couple of bills. "Bonnie could you get me a reuben, double fries and an egg cream. Donna what do you want?"
"Your head on a plate."
"Just get her whatever she usually orders"
" You want a club sandwich and a birch beer?" Bonnie asked her friend.
"Thanks. And if they want to season his sandwich with rat poison, that'd be just fine" Donna added heading for the file room.
"Guess your time in the sun is over" Bonnie winked at Josh and headed for the door.
Josh turned back to his office.
"What the hell are you doing?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about." Josh replied heading for his desk certain that CJ would follow him "By the way what's up with Sam? He seemed like he was avoiding me at this morning's meeting."
"He's worried about you, and now, quite frankly, so am I." CJ closed the door behind her and stood with her arms crossed, watching as Josh stood behind his desk, shuffling papers.
"What the hell is he worried about me for?"
"The fact that you went after Kitler with a bat seems to have upset him."
The papers stilled.
" I didn't go after him with it. I was carrying it when I spoke to him, it's a little different."
"Well if it makes you feel any better, he's mad at us for not going to greater lengths to try and stop you."
Josh nodded "I'll talk to him when he gets back from Interior"
"Would you? To hear him going on last night, he seems to think that you've become Charles Bronson."
"Personally I think I look more like Clint Eastwood."
"You want my opinion on that?"
"Not really."
"Didn't think so. How's Donna doing?"
Josh gave a half shrug. "She's fine. I think she's currently more pissed off with me than she is with Kitler."
"Which seems to be exactly what you're aiming for, which is why I'm worried about you. What's going on Josh?"
"Look, last night I humiliated Bryan Kitler. I would rather she didn't meet up with him for a while because I in no way believe he's let this go and I'd rather that the next time he didn't really hurt her. Other than that, nothing's going on."
"And you didn't just tell her that because...?" CJ asked
"Why should I have to?"
"Because we're intelligent adults and this is how we conduct ourselves."
"Gee, thanks for clearing that up."
"What is going on Josh? Last night, the last thing I saw was you walking Donna out of here with your arm around her. This morning you've been sniping at each other like a couple of Siamese fighting fish. What happened?"
"Nothing happened"
"Bull. Come on, Josh. I know the thing with Kitler last night upset you but this isn't the way you usually deal with it"
Josh stared at his desk.
"Why do you want her mad at you?"
He surrendered to CJ's piercing stare. "Cause I said something really dumb last night and I want her to forget I said it, or at least think I meant something different than I actually did"
"What did you say?"
"I told her... I asked her not to wear that red dress any more," he mumbled.
"At all?"
"Except with me"
"Dear god, you're turning into a romantic!"
"Knock it off, CJ."
"Really Josh, that was seriously sweet." CJ was beaming at him.
"She was talking about how lousy her luck with men is and I just wanted to say something to make her feel, I wanted her to know...." He waved his arms trying to find the right word. "Anyway it was a dumb thing to say"
"Why?"
"Well Idaknow CJ, maybe because I'm her boss?"
"So?"
"So there are rules about these things." He pulled his in-tray closer and began to sort through it, hoping his friend would take the hint. She didn't.
"You're trying to make her hate you, temporarily anyway, so she'll forget that you practically told her you love her?"
"In a nutshell"
"You're an idiot."
"So I'm informed regularly."
"Why don't you just tell her, without hiding it in fashion commentary?"
"Because it will end the universe as we know it," said Josh selecting a file, sitting back in his chair and desperately willing CJ to go away.
CJ, however, wasn't giving up "So your plan is to continue to annoy her all day? How are you going to get any work done, what with your assistant not speaking to you and all?"
"Well apparently I'm not, but hey it's Friday, how much do I really need to achieve?"
"I can't believe this was the best you could come up with."
"It was this or run away and join the Foreign Legion."
"Does that still exist?"
"Supposedly. I saw a documentary on them last weekend."
"You don't do well in heat."
"I'd look fairly stupid in those little hats too. Guess I'll have to stick to 'Plan A'"
"Personally I think you should start thinking about a 'Plan C' but it's your life. You'll talk to Sam?"
"Uh-huh"
CJ shook her head pityingly and returned to her own office.
Leo glanced up as Donna walked by his open door, a certain determination to her stride; her arms weighed down with folders.
"Hey Donna," he called after her.
"Hi Leo," she re-appeared framed in his doorway.
"Do you have a minute?"
"Sure."
"Here put those on the table. What is all this?" he relieved her of her burden, scanning the titles as he set them down.
"Make-work project from Josh. What can I do for you, Sir?"
"I just wanted to check on how you were doing, after last night."
"Oh don't you start" Donna muttered under her breath "I mean I'm fine, thank you for asking."
"I take it I'm not the first?"
"Everyone's been very nice," she said carefully.
"But?"
Donna ducked Leo's inquiring gaze.
"Josh?" he guessed
"He's," Donna began then stopped, reluctant to discuss her boss. Throwaway comments to Bonnie were one thing, but the last time she'd discussed Josh with Leo, it had been during his episode of PTSD.
Leo shut the door "He's what?"
"He's driving me crazy," Donna admitted with a sigh.
"Yeah, that was to be expected," Leo nodded with a sympathetic laugh.
"I suppose," Donna agreed. "Which in no way makes it easier to live with."
"He'll get past it," the older man re-assured her.
"Would that be before the end of the second term?"
"Presumably."
"Well I hope so." Donna toyed with the files.
"Is there something else?" Leo prodded gently, recognizing a need to talk in the young woman's face, despite her outward reluctance.
"Off the record?"
"Sure"
"I understand why Josh is acting like a lunatic, well I sort of understand, what I don't understand is why he's not swaggering around more. I expected he'd be bragging to anyone who made the mistake of standing still for two minutes. Normally sending a congressional aide running for cover is worth a twenty-minute re-telling, bare minimum. But when Ginger and Bonnie asked him about it, he changed the subject."
"Frankly I'm surprised that you're surprised," Leo told her.
"Why?"
"Donna when Josh starts bragging, it's because he's stopped some officious senator who was going after the President dead in their tracks; or because he's sent Mary Marsh back under whichever rock it is that woman emerged from. It's about playing politics better than the next guy. Seeing someone he cares about threatened isn't something Josh brags about."
"I didn't mean to suggest-"
"When Lilienfield was going after me, or when the press was hounding Sam about Laurie or that guy from State was making those stupid allegations about CJ, did you once hear Josh brag?"
"No."
"But he was the one who dealt with all of it. He put his own career on the line for me, he made it quite clear to the Party leadership that Sam was above reproach and I don't know what he did to Tad Whatshisname but-"
"I do" Donna confirmed.
"I don't want to know, do I?"
She shook her head. "But Leo, those situations were different."
"Yes they were. Donna, part of the reason he's driving you crazy, is because this is driving him crazy. For Josh, those other times, he knew how to handle them because they were political fights; he's trained his whole life for those kinds of battles. What happened last night scared him."
"Josh isn't scared of Bryan Kitler."
"Of the man, no. Of his actions, well that's another story. As far as Josh is concerned, he let something happen to you and he wants to make sure he never makes that mistake again."
Leo smiled patiently at her "I know Josh playing knight in shining armor can be a little hard to take, believe me I know; but would it be so difficult to humor him for a couple of days? We both know that given the luck of this administration some crisis is just around the corner. Once he has something else to concentrate on he'll relax, until then go with it."
"It's just that in this case 'it' seems to involve taking Secret Service agents with me when I go out on a date." Donna protested
"There you go, he's already loosening up. Last night I'm pretty sure he was ready to make you give up dating entirely."
"You're a huge help."
"But not really?"
"No not really" She picked up her files and headed for the door "But thanks anyway, Leo."
Leo crossed to open the door for her "My advice is double date with Charlie and Zoë and pray for Texas to announce plans to secede."
"I'm not sure Josh would miss them."
"The way Hoynes has been acting lately, neither would I," Leo allowed, giving her a last smile and watching as she headed back down the hall
Margaret tapped on the interior door "Leo, Congresswoman Lobo's on her way up from the front desk."
"Okay, call Josh, tell him to come over."
"Yes, Leo."
"And Margaret try to keep the 'extreme fighting circuit' jokes to a minimum while they're both here."
"You don't think Josh wants to know that the support staff voted him most likely win at Death Match 2001?"
"I really don't"
"I think you're wrong but okay."
Leo rolled his eyes and looked skyward "I hate slow news days."
On his way back from meeting with Leo and the Congresswoman, Josh stopped to make good on his promise to CJ.
"'S up, Sam." He tapped on his friend's doorframe and walked into the office.
"What?" Sam kept his eyes firmly fixed on his computer screen.
"Word is that you think I am, despite being by all appearances a mild mannered White House aide, secretly roaming the streets at night. That, bat in hand, I am seeking out dens of iniquity and making the world safe for truth, justice and the American way. The thing is, when the American people put in a request for a new superhero and they get me, I think they're going to be mighty disappointed."
"You said you would have used the bat," Sam said flatly, clearly unamused by Josh's opening volley.
"Sam, I was ninety-eight percent bluffing."
"It's the other two percent that scares me."
"Look, I'll admit that when I walked into Toby's office I was seeing red, but by the time he stopped me at the door, I was carrying it to make a point. I wanted Kitler to see I had it, because Kitler's the kind of guy who only understands the rule of 'whoever's got the bigger stick wins'. For a start, I hadn't forgotten about the security cameras."
"When we were walking out, I asked if you would have used it and you said: 'Yes'"
"I was kidding."
"No you weren't."
The wide grin faded from Josh's face. "Okay," he said in all seriousness. "Okay, there is one scenario where I would have used it."
"Which is what?"
"If we'd gone down there and Donna hadn't been able to get out of the car. If he had been... if she was..." Josh tried to explain without having to mouth the words. It felt to him that if he said them aloud it would make them much more real, bring the possibility of what could have happened into even sharper focus.
"If she was... yeah." Sam found he couldn't quite bring himself to say it either. It was fine when you were talking statistics. It was another thing entirely when it was a woman you knew and liked.
"If that had been the case, I would have taken the bat to the windshield, or the tail lights or the mirror or anything," Josh admitted. "And in all likelihood, I would have gotten in exactly one swing before Kitler got out of the car and proceeded to kick my ass. But Sam, in order to do that he would have had to let go of her."
Sam looked more receptive.
"I'm glad it didn't come to that," Josh continued. "I'm glad it wasn't necessary; that all I ended up having to do was shoot my mouth off like usual. But, I'll be damned if I would have stood around and talked, while some guy like Bryan Kitler damaged someone I care about. And if you were that situation, I know damn well that you'd do the exact same thing as me. Right?"
"Yes" Sam nodded
"Then you understand?" Josh asked, needing his friend's acceptance.
"Yes."
"Good I'm-"
"What I don't understand is why you don't just tell her how you feel."
"Donna?"
"Yes"
"You don't understand that?"
"Wouldn't it be simpler than stalking the halls until all hours every time she has a date; than threatening congressional aides with grievous bodily harm? Wouldn't it be simpler if she was just dating you?"
"So everyone keeps telling me."
"Who's everyone?"
"So far just you and CJ but I'm sure it's the beginning of a trend. I mean where's the President right now?" Josh glanced at his watch. "Security briefing right? Well hell, let's pull him out of that, because who cares if the Iraqis are shifting ground troops again? What we should really be talking about is: whether I should date my assistant."
"Well, since I think the Joint Chiefs and the N.S.A. have got the situation in the Middle East covered, why don't we concentrate on domestic issues, like you and Donna." Sam grinned boyishly.
Josh scowled in response. "There is absolutely nothing domestic about me and Donna"
"Josh you are the closest thing to an un-married married couple I've ever seen."
"Let's not start that nonsense again"
"Tell her"
"Sam!"
"Tell her, Josh"
"What do you want me to do, Sam, slip it in during morning messages? 'Donna, I'd like you to set up a meeting with Secretary Storik, get me the latest NASDAQ figures, by the way, I love you, and if you're going by the mess in the next three hours could you bring me a Dr Pepper?'"
During this outpouring from Josh, Sam's eyes had grown steadily wider and he had tried to interrupt but Josh was hard man to interrupt at the best of times.
"I don't think you'll need to do that after all." Sam croaked
"Why?"
"Because I'm standing right behind you," said Donna softly.
"SAM!"
"She wasn't there when you started talking and then I couldn't get you to stop. I tried."
Josh pointed an accusing finger at his friend, anger making it difficult for him to even speak. "J...J...Just don't...talk to me... for the rest of...this administration."
"Josh-"
"Don't!"
He whirled around to face Donna.
"Do you actually want to see Storik?" she asked as normally as possible.
"No."
"Didn't think so."
Josh twisted his neck uncomfortably in the tight collar of his shirt and stalked out of the Communications area.
"What's wrong with Josh?" asked Toby, coming out of his office.
"Sam meddled," Donna informed him, looking almost as angry as her boss had.
"Sam!"
"I didn't meddle. I offered sound advice."
"That's why the Deputy Chief of Staff looks ready to spill blood? Sound advice?"
"It seemed sound at the time, circumstances might have changed."
"As they often do."
Toby shook his head and stepped back into his office
"Hey Toby," Sam called after him "Do me a favour and hide the bat."