Chapter Text
There had been no sign of Lorelei for over a month. Loki and Tony ruthlessly searched for her whereabouts, forgoing sleep and food at some points. I had to beg Thor to help me drag them to the kitchen or to the beds. But on the good side, they were bonding.
I spent most of my time training again. It was the only thing I was useful for now, and I would never let Lorelei get the upper hand again.
Visions of her holding the knife to my throat and slashing it so easily kept me going throughout the night before I succumbed to sleep. I would usually find myself in my bed or Loki’s. I never had to ask who did it.
With the constant bustling around, it was rare for me and Loki to spend a minute alone. Something I was thankful for.
How could I even begin to process my feelings? He had loved Lorelei, had a baby with her, then watched it get taken from him. I don’t know how he coped, if he ever did. I would’ve gone mad with grief.
And what was I supposed to say to him? That I understood? Of course I couldn’t; I hoped I never would. But it kept dawning on me that there was no good way to approach this conversation. It was too
painful a memory for Loki, and I could tell he hated talking about it, but talking was needed.
I had just recently learned how to focus my power into separate entities. My tendrils of black smoke could be seen from all angles now. I was a sight to behold. Though, when it came to it, could I do it?
Could I kill Lorelei? Could I even face her without losing my focus and going blind with rage? It was hard to say.
I grabbed my water battle and took a big gulp, trying to wash out my thoughts. I hadn’t heard the door open and was surprised to see Loki standing in the doorway watching me.
“I wanted to see how you were doing.” His mouth twitched into a little smile, and his eyes were full of amusement. I had definitely been a sight to behold then.
Shrugging, I placed the bottle back down. “As good as can be.”
His smile faltered at that for a little moment. “I understand, this is all probably very difficult for you to process.”
I sighed, running my hand through my hair in exasperation. That was an understatement. “I just don’t know what to think, if I’m being honest.”
He nodded and walked over to me slowly. I wanted so badly to hug him but didn’t want to scare him. “All you have to think is that she will be gone from us soon, and we can move on together.”
So he planned for us to be together. For how long? My gut told me he meant forever, but was I ready?
“Have you made any progress?” I distracted us both from the tension.
“A little,” he murmured. “Like I said before, I know where she’s going.”
“And where is that?” I eyed him skeptically. How come he hadn’t told anyone?
He leaned against the wall, surveying my tiny training room. Tony had built it for me, insuring my power could not accidentally reach outside these walls.
“Wherever I am,” he said menacingly. I could tell he meant it, and it bothered him. “She needs me.”
Now I was intrigued. “You? What for?” I exclaimed.
“She touches a man, and he becomes her slave,” he explained, staring at me. “Very easy and simple. Except it doesn’t work on me.”
My eyes must have widened because Loki gave a tight chuckle. “I’m stronger than her in seidr, always have been. Her charms never worked on me. And for that reason, while I’m alive, she is at a disadvantage.”
I was starting to understand. “So she needs you gone?”
Loki nodded, still not moving his eyes from me. “Yes she will come to kill me.”
My heart raged inside my chest. An overbearing instinct to protect came over me so suddenly. She wouldn’t go near him. I would make sure of that. And then it came to me that yes, I could kill her if it was between her and Loki.
“How does she possibly hope to kill you?”
He shrugged, still leaning on the wall and keeping a safe distance between us. There had been lots of distance between us recently.
“She has her methods, and I’m sure some of them are successful, some more than others…”
He was holding something back. His clenched fits and dark eyes gave it away. He knew what she would do.
“What will she do?” I pressed again.
Loki looked at me, his eyes soft and desperate but knowing I had already caught him.
“She’ll go for the one thing that I’ll destroy myself over.”
My breath caught in my throat. She’ll be coming after me again.
I couldn’t resist anymore and went into Loki’s arms. He welcomed me fully and held me tightly to him, brushing my hair and whispering in my ear. “I won’t let her harm you, darling. No one will.”
And I believed him. He would do everything in his power to see me safe, but what about the things outside his power and strength. She could find me when he wasn’t around.
Loki kissed my forehead so softly it brought tears to my eyes. I loved this man with all my heart. I had just gotten him; I couldn’t dream of letting him go.
He left to go back to his work, but I was still standing in the training room out of breath. It could have been hours or minutes until I finally decided to take a shower and join the others for dinner.
But that night I couldn’t sleep. I saw her everywhere. When I went to the bathroom, when I turned off the lights, when I closed my eyes. I felt like a little child afraid of the dark and the monsters it held within.
Finally, after tossing and turning for hours, I sprang out of bed and walked out of my bedroom. I made the long trek down the hallway, feeling eyes on me the whole time. Would anyone see me? Would I be caught?
At this instant it didn’t matter anymore.
I opened up the door before letting myself in and shutting it quietly even though my presence was already known. He sat up in bed.
“Little one, what’s wrong? Has something happened?” His face wrung with concern, and I collapsed in his lap.
“Can I sleep with you tonight?” I whispered, tears streaming down my face.
Loki’s arms curled around me and brought me close to him. We laid on his furs. He played gently with my hair and gave me light kisses on my face until the darkness of sleep finally consumed me.