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The club was dark and unbearably hot. Hawks had been there for no more than twenty minutes and he had already decided that it wasn’t his scene. He drained his drink and signaled the bartender over to where he sat, intending to close his tab. As he waited for the bartender to finish, a person slid into the seat next to him.
“You look a little lost pretty boy. Out of your element perhaps?” The low voice had a mocking lilt to it. Hawks could tell without looking that the stranger next to him was shooting him a bemused smile. Making an annoyed noise in the back of his throat, he turned toward the newcomer, fully prepared to give the smug sounding man a piece of his mind. What he wasn’t expecting was the dark, beautiful face staring back at him with eyes full of mischief.
Instead of his snarky comeback only a strangled noise of surprise left Hawks’s throat as he looked the man up and down. Spikey jet black hair, a multitude of silver piercings, swirling tattoos, and what appeared to be burn scars covered the man seated next to him. Blazing blue eyes stared at him challengingly and try as he might he couldn’t hold that fiery gaze.
“Leaving so soon? You haven’t even danced yet,” the stranger’s eyes flashed and the side of his mouth quirked up in a challenge. Hawks continued to stare at him mute as he ran a hand through his hair. A dark, pierced eyebrow raised slightly, “Not seeing anyone interesting enough to join you on the dancefloor then?”
Clearing his throat Hawks forced out a reply, trying to regain his usual air of confidence, “Hmm..I’ve seen a few interesting characters, but I don’t know if they can keep up with me.” By the end of the sentence he almost had his normal amount of swagger back in his voice.
A predatory grin split the studded lips in front of him, “Well you’ll never find out if you don’t ask anyone to join you.”
Hawks felt so unsure as he took the man’s hand and led him to the dancefloor.
---
Songs flew past in a blur as booming bass blended into pounding drum beats. The tall stranger melted into every movement Hawks made like a shadow. Hands traveled his body wandering down his arms, across his abs, and landing in a tight grip on his hips. Hawks felt intoxicated by the other man’s presence, and he didn’t fight the pull as he was lead out of the mess of bodies to the side door that lead out of the club.
As soon as the door slammed behind them he was shoved up against the rough brick wall. Hawks’s breath caught as a trail of bites was made from his jaw all the way down to his collarbone. Everything was hot, and his skin felt like it was on fire. He needed to catch his breath, so he pushed lightly on the other man’s chest willing a space between them. Swallowing roughly he looked up, only now realizing how much taller the dark stranger was.
The club’s music seemed distant and far away, and something in the other man’s eyes reminded him of….something. It called to mind silver screens and sad goodbyes. This man was heartbreak waiting to happen and he knew it.
But knowing and caring were two very different things. Tonight Hawks let his cares go as he pulled the dark haired man back down into a heated kiss. They both knew where this was going. Minutes later they were tangled together in the backseat of a taxi en route to Hawks’s apartment.
If asked Hawks wouldn’t be able to tell how long that car ride took. He might have over-tipped the driver, or maybe they literally flew from the bar to his front door, but somehow they made it inside.
It was a wonder they managed to make it to his bedroom the way they were tripping over each other. It was like they were back on the dancefloor in the dark club the way they clung to each other, breathing in each other’s breaths. There was nothing guilty about their confident movements as they set their rhythm. They continued their dance well into the night as they crashed against each other.
Morning found the stranger extracting himself from the tangle of sheets that was Hawks’s bed. He dressed and left the room with next to no sound. By the time Hawks awoke the warmth of the stranger’s body was long gone. He sighed as he ran his hand over the cold other half of the bed, pausing when his fingers brushed a piece of paper.
Blinking the remnants of sleep from his eyes he looked down at the messy scrawl across a torn piece of paper. The message was brief and to the point, much like the man who left it.
The name’s Dabi- call me sometime.
---
To be honest, Hawks wasn’t sure what was more surprising about this situation. It could be the fact that he had brought a relative stranger to his family’s Christmas celebration, or maybe it was simply that the man, Dabi, had said yes in the first place.
Make no mistake, he wasn’t catching feelings or anything. Hawks was just tired of his family pushing him to “find some nice girl and finally settle down”. Bringing the epitome of “boy you don’t bring home to your mother” was sure to make a statement. Nevermind the fact that said boy actually cleaned up for the occasion. He was wearing a black button down, and he was currently helping Hawks’s father light the fireplace. Yeah, that wasn’t endearing in the slightest. Besides, they had only been on a handful of...definitely not dates in their short time of knowing each other. He still barely knew the man.
Realizing that he had been staring, Hawks shook his head. He then turned to where the kids were all starting to gather in anticipation of Santa showing up. It was family tradition for one of their neighbors to dress up as the fat holiday character, and give each of the kids a gift.
“Uncle Hawks, will you play us a song?” One of his nieces was standing next to him holding an acoustic guitar and looking up at him with giant pleading eyes. This was another of their traditions. Every family get together Hawks would get bored which resulted in him entertaining the kids with silly performances.
“Uh, yeah, sure. Let’s go sit down,” he grabbed the guitar and settled onto the couch while a small group of children formed in front of him. Hawks scratched the back of his neck and glanced up to where his guest was standing across the room. It wasn’t that he was particularly bad at singing or playing the guitar, but he was still a bit self conscious about doing this in front of someone like Dabi.
Whatever , he thought, here goes nothing . He strummed out a couple chords.
“Well anyway, here’s Wonderwall,” he muttered as he tuned the strings. He then directed his attention back to the kids in front of him, “So what do you guys want to hear?” There was a loud chorus of miscellaneous Christmas classics like Jingle Bells, Rudolph, and Frosty the Snowman. He shook his head while he thought for a second, and then launched into Jingle Bell Rock.
More of his family gathered around where he sat, and some even started to dance together, laughing at their own obnoxious twirling. Once he finished playing a couple songs he glanced up to see Dabi standing close with an unreadable expression on his face.
One of Hawks’s more musically gifted cousins asked for a turn on the guitar, which he was grateful to hand over to her. After getting up he wandered over to where Dabi was standing feeling sort of shy.
“You weren’t half bad,” was the almost compliment he received. “Care to dance with me pretty boy?”
His cousin was playing songs that were much softer than what he had played. Many of his relatives were swaying together in time with her smooth melodies.
Hawks shrugged, why not? Ignoring the looks from the rest of his family he allowed Dabi to pull him in so that they could move together. The taller man rested his chin on Hawks’s head, and he tried not to think too hard about how soft and intimate the whole situation was. This didn’t mean anything. They weren’t actually dating. He was not catching feelings.
The rest of the celebration went by without a hitch. Santa came and the children got their presents. Everyone ate until they felt miserable. Soon enough the day came to an end and they got ready to leave, spreading last minute holiday wishes to each other.
“Merry Christmas you two!”
“Is Crismun,” Dabi muttered as Hawk called out, “Merry Crisis!”
Then they were out the door and walking to Hawk’s car. They didn’t touch on the ride home and no words were exchanged. The air between them was awkward and stagnant after the warmth and comfort of his family.
When Hawks pulled up in front of what he supposed was Dabi’s apartment complex he slowed to a stop. The other man made no move to get out of the car. With a few questions on his mind Hawks cleared his voice to try and break the tension.
“So uh, I know I was the one to ask you to do this, but why didn’t you spend the holiday with your family?” Okay, this was a stupid question that someone with no intention of getting closer would never have asked, but there it was. Hawks looked up at his silent companion.
“That’d require me to spend time with my old man, and there’s no way I’m doing that ever again.”
The answer left more questions than it gave answers, but it didn’t seem like a topic his companion was willing to talk about in detail. Before he could respond in any way, though, the troubled man in his passenger seat asked a question of his own.
“So what do you think we are?”
The question definitely took Hawks by surprise. What were they? Why was he being asked this? And why did he get the feeling that there was definitely a wrong way to respond to this question?
“Um...I dunno. A casual thing I guess?”
There was a long pause before, “Ah, so that’s it? I’m..some sort of booty call then. Even though I’ve met your family now.”
“I mean yeah uh...that’s what you want right?”
Dabi made a face, “Yeah, that’s what I want.”
With that he abruptly got out of the car and slammed the door behind him, giving Hawks no chance to say anything more. Instead of going after the retreating silhouette of the dark haired man, he sat in his car for a long while.
Well fuck. He had said the wrong thing after all.
---
A few days later found him back in the club he first met Dabi at. Why he was there he had no idea. This club fucking sucked, but he needed a distraction.
Tonight’s distraction came in the form of a sun tanned woman who looked like she could definitely kick his ass if she wanted to. Miruko is the name she had given him, and he didn’t need to ask any other questions. They were out on the dance floor, bass pumping through him threatening to rattle his bones apart. His hands traced over firm biceps (clear of burn marks and tattoos) and powerful thighs (so different from the lanky, harder edged body of the last person he danced with). As hard as he tried his mind continued to drift away from the beautiful woman in front of him. He couldn’t get burning ice blue eyes out of his mind, and every time the beat shifted he stumbled against her.
“When will you learn? When will you learn, that your actions have consequences?” Her voice jolted Hawk out of his thoughts.
“W-what are you talking about?”
“I was saying your feet have no rhythm, pretty boy,” the tone she used was joking and playful but the underlying question was definitely there. It was clear that she had said something like this multiple times already and he hadn’t registered it. Plus, the use of that nickname coming out of someone else’s mouth finished ruining Hawks’s last hope of this being a good distraction.
“Sorry,” he muttered stepping away from her, “I can’t do this.”
He left the bar alone that night. When he got home there was still only one person on his mind. Good thing he had already fucked that up. Crawling into bed he pretended he wasn’t searching for the long gone scent of the lover he let slip away. When Hawks fell into a restless sleep he dreamt of raven dark hair, wicked smiles, and the only person he wanted to dance with.
---
The weeks continued to pass. Hawks had barely left his apartment since that unfortunate night at the club. He cancelled plans, missing New Years, instead choosing to spend almost all his time in bed. Empty containers littered the floor, and Hawks was currently on his last bottle of vodka. He was busy scrolling through Netflix on his computer in an attempt to not think about anything. Every movie he came across reminded him of Dabi, and at this point it was pissing him off. Why did he have to go and be such an idiot. Why couldn’t he see that there was something more between them before going off like a dumbass?
In his drunken state a thought crossed his mind. What if he made a statement? What if he won Dabi back?
That was it.
Pulling himself out from under the covers Hawks stumbled over to where his shoes lay. He didn’t have time to shower or even change. He had to do this now .
After finding his keys Hawks staggered into his kitchen. He needed some sort of present. Something that said everything that had been on his mind for the last few weeks. Casting around for ideas his eyes landed on one of the few things that was (probably?) still edible in his apartment. Shoving it into a bag he left his apartment.
---
To be fair, Hawks had only been to Dabi’s apartment a few times, and he had never been inside. He told himself that’s why it took so long for him to find the right complex. It definitely wasn’t because he had walked past it three separate times while drunkenly trying to remember what it was called.
He took a deep breath before knocking on the door. This had to be the right one, he was sure of it.
The door opened revealing a teenager with heterochromatic eyes and hair, as well as what appeared to be a burn scar over his left eye. His nose wrinkled as he took in the sight before him which caused Hawks to finally evaluate what he probably looked like to anyone else right now.
Blushing and clearing his throat Hawks managed to stutter out, “Hey, uh, sorry. I must’ve gotten the wrong apartment. I’ll um, be going now.” Turning to leave as quickly as possible Hawks was stopped by a familiar low voice.
“Well isn’t this a surprise?”
Spinning back around embarrassingly fast Hawks had to grab the door frame to keep himself upright. The tall, dark form that had joined the teenager in the doorway made his heart pound faster.
“Sorry Shou, this is Hawks. I'm pretty sure he’s got something to say to me.”
Looking between the two Hawks tried to process what was going on here. These two seemed to be close. Was he interrupting something? Was this boy older than he looked and Dabi’s new boyfriend? Oh god, was he too late?
Mortified he didn’t know what to do other than give a shaky half wave to the unimpressed seeming boy in front of him.
“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I was interrupting somethin’. I’ll definitely be going now.”
Dabi rolled his eyes and grabbed his shoulder.
“Come here you drunken idiot, my brother was just leaving.”
Hawks let himself be pulled into the apartment letting those words wash over him. Brother..Dabi had never mentioned having a brother before.
“You never asked,” came the response to the sort of question he hadn’t realized he’d spoken aloud.
The boy (Shou was what he’d been called?) was still giving him a look, his face expressionless, “Boy, you know how to choose em, don’t you?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Hawks asked, scrunching his face up and pretending his voice wasn’t as whiney as it definitely was.
“It’s Wednesday my dude,” dual colored eyes seemed to be piercing into his soul. Oh...he was drunk in the middle of the week. That’s what this kid was referring to. He scratched the back of his neck, screaming internally, while looking everywhere but into those mismatched eyes.
“Come on Shou, you’re making him uncomfortable,” Dabi said, with more than a touch of amusement in his voice. “It’s time for you to get going.”
Shrugging, the younger brother grabbed his coat and walked straight up to where Hawks was standing. He was taller than Hawks was, forcing him to crane his neck up to see the apathetic face above him. He took Hawks’s hand in his own, “The name’s Shouto Todoroki and if you hurt my brother I will hurt you. I have the power of God and anime on my side”
With that short, straight faced threat made he turned and walked out without a backward glance. That left Hawks and the man that hadn’t left his thoughts in weeks finally alone.
Dabi snickered at his expression before turning serious, “So what are you here for bird brain? Need another booty call?” His voice was even and didn’t betray any emotion, but Hawks hung his head feeling like he had been slapped.
“I came to..talk. And also to give you a present?” He fumbled around for the bag he had brought with him. He was given a classic raised eyebrow as he shoved the gift into awaiting hands.
Slowly opening the bag Dabi peered inside. When he looked up again his dry tone gave nothing away, “An avocado...thaaanks.”
Hawks’s face colored. Okay, that had been a great idea at the time, but maybe it wasn’t the best present. Whatever, he had things to say.
“I’m sorry,” he blurted out, “This wasn’t exactly planned. Like...none of this.”
“Obviously,” that humorless voice drug the word out making it clear that Dabi’s patience and interest were both running short.
“Not tonight, or I guess tonight too, but like..everything with you. I’m sorry. I thought I knew what I wanted and what you were looking for, but I was wrong. It was easy to pretend that this meant nothing, but...it doesn’t, does it?” By the end his voice was cracking with uncertainty and he nervously bit his lip.
“So you’re not a completely oblivious fool,” a hand found its way under Hawks’s chin and pulled him up to meet clear blue eyes. “I’m sorry though. I don’t think this is going to work.”
Hawks froze. Not going to work?
“I’ve been in town for this past month or so to work on getting my brother out of our father’s house. Once we finish getting the paperwork in order I’m gone.”
His brain was shorting out. He couldn’t possibly be hearing this right. He had finally worked up the nerve to say what needed to be said and it’s not going to work? Without realizing it he started shaking his head vehemently, “No..what are you saying? We could be so good together. This doesn't make any sense. Who’s going to dance with me? Please stay..”
His pleas fell on deaf ears though. No matter how he asked the dark haired man just shook his head, “We can’t. Shouto and I have do get far from him , and I can’t leave any loose ends here. I can’t ask you to leave everything behind like us.”
He wanted to argue. Hawks wanted to say all Dabi needed to do was ask and he’d do anything, but the other man already knew that. Instead Dabi pressed a soft kiss onto trembling lips and wiped his hair out of his face, “Come on. Let me take you home.”
---
Sometimes Hawks could almost believe that he could, and even had, gotten over Dabi. He went home with strangers, losing himself trying to prove he could still play this game. It didn't matter that every time he caught sight of a tall, dark haired stranger his breath would catch. He could never stop the hope that would coil in his stomach for little more than a second. Then they’d turn and the illusion would be shattered.
His family reminded him that things would get better, promised that he still had a partner out there somewhere waiting for him. He knew the truth though. Dabi really had been the one , and you can’t replace that.
Ignoring the pain only worked so well though. Even old music got to him. When he heard the smooth sound of saxophone it reminded him of the short time he had with his other half. When it was paired with the right words it haunted him .
“ So I’m never gonna dance again the way I danced with you.”