Chapter Text
“Are you okay?” he asked, as she curled up against the crook of his shoulder, just as much to avoid eye contact as to feel closer to him.
“Of course.” She smiled into his skin and planted a kiss at the side of his collarbone. “Better than fine.”
They were damp and sprawled across her bed. Another Saturday afternoon well spent.
“You just seem a little, I don’t know, distant right now.”
“I do?”
“Talk to me, Scully.”
She sighed. She wasn’t getting out of this one easily. She had hoped to have more time to gather her thoughts, or maybe change her mind and never bring it up ever.
They had been sleeping together for a few weeks now. It had been spectacular. Her senses had never felt more awakened and she had never felt more seen or appreciated in her entire life. Her partner was easily the most attractive man to ever worship her body, and the emotional intimacy they already shared took it to another level. She practically had an out-of-body experience the first time she came with him, though she would never admit that to him, knowing she would be inciting a rant about the connection between astral projection and human sexuality.
It was mind blowing and world-shattering. And she was bored. Maybe that wasn’t fair. She was never bored when they were together. It wouldn’t be fair to say she was disappointed either; her expectations had been exceeded in so many meaningful ways.
“Scully?” he inquired gently. “Did I do something wrong?”
“No, no. Not at all. Sorry.” She lifted her head and smoothed her hair. “I just…”
He grimaced and she could tell he was bracing himself for the worst.
“Sometimes I just feel like you touch me like I’m made of glass,” she blurted. “Does that make any sense?”
“I”m not sure,” he said, confused. “You don’t want me to go slow?”
“It’s not that.” She struggled to find the words. “You know I like it when you tease me.” They both smiled as they remembered the night before when he spent the entire first half of a vinyl record just kissing her skin everywhere. The second half of the record he spent teasing her pussy until she couldn’t take it any more and pulled his face against her while she bucked wildly for another world class orgasm, the Fox Mulder special.
“Then what is it, Dana?” The use of her first name still gave her pangs. She wasn’t used to it, nor was she used to the pet names he had started to drop. She was constantly rearranging her perception of their relationship in her mind. Every reminder that something was different in their relationship (when they weren’t in bed, that is), shot her equally with exhilaration and deep set anxiety. Change was always going to be scary.
“I guess I’m just trying to communicate to you that you can be, um, rougher? With me.” She winced at her words and wished she could crawl under the blankets to avoid looking at him right now. Mulder being Mulder, of course, he sat up so he could look her in the eye.
“Hey.” He took her face between his hands and angled it at him. “Thank you for telling me. I never want you to feel embarrassed for telling me what you need.”
“I wouldn’t go so far as to say it’s a need,” she deflected.
“Semantics,” he stated. “Okay, what are we talking about here? Hair pulling? Scratching? Handcuffs? Spanking? Anal?” He cocked his eyebrow at the last word.
“Whoa, cowboy. Settle down. Let’s take that one at a time, shall we? Hair pulling, sure. Within reason. Scratching, yes. Spanking and anal I might like try sometime. Now wipe that dopey grin off your face.” His grin only spread.
“I’m just surprised. Good Catholic girl and all.”
“Why should that be so surprising? I must be completely inhibited because of my upbringing or my career choice? I’ve had a sex life before you, Mulder.” The muscle in his jaw clenched. She pulled her knees close to her under the sheet, feeling herself shut down emotionally. “I’m not some ingenue.”
“And I don't see you that way.” He looked her dead in the eyes and placed both his palms at the top of his knees. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”
“No, you shouldn’t have,” she agreed.
“So can we get back to the anal part?” he suggested eagerly. When she gave him a look, he backed off. “Sorry,” he said and put his hands up in surrender. “Please go on.”
“Thanks, Mulder,” she said sarcastically. “Let’s forget I said anything.”
“Absolutely not,” he stated. “You’re going to finish your thought and tell me what you need to tell me.” He sat up straighter and shut his mouth.
“Okay.” She took a deep breath. “I get the impression that you are afraid of hurting me.” He nodded. This was not news to either of them. “But I think it would be better for me if you didn’t worry about it so much?” She grimaced internally at the up-speak, a vocal tick she had worked so hard to rid herself of through medical school and her subsequent careers.
“I hear what you are saying, Scully,” he said sincerely. “I just need to know that this looks like to you, to us. I can’t read your mind.”
If he could read her mind, he would see the fantasies that had so occupied her mind through the last seven years. Mulder picking her up and throwing her on the bed like a rag doll. Mulder fucking her up against the wall of their office with a fist full of her hair, exposing her neck to his cruel teeth. Mulder fucking her face until her eyes streamed.
“Just, don’t be afraid to be rough with me,” she concluded.
“Okay…” He was clearly trying to contain a little bit of frustration, as though she had become a lock he was unable to pick. “I will do my best, but you are being very vague right now.”
“See, that’s what I’m talking about. You are so worried about hurting me.”
“Can you blame me?” he blurted. He ground his palms into his eyes. “At least give me a hand here and tell me what your hard limits are.” She smiled at the use of the correct terminology. Maybe he was better versed in what she was requesting than she had assumed. Maybe they were both making assumptions about each other.
“It’s not like I have a prepared list, Mulder.”
“Okay, here’s an example. What if I choked you during sex? Is that what you aren’t telling me you want, or would that re-traumatize you?” Re-traumatize. Sometimes she forgot he was a psychologist with a keen awareness of the psychological damage she had endured over the last years. “Would you be horrified that I would even attempt that, rational medical doctor such as yourself? You see my problem here?”
She thought about it. “Yes, I see your point. I like having hands around my throat, but more as a symbolic gesture. I don’t want my air to be actually cut off.”
“Now we’re getting somewhere.” His voice was low this time, almost a growl and it did something to her.
“Let’s just say I give you permission to try new things, within reason. I don’t think I have any triggers you would stumble on accidentally. I trust you not to take things too far too fast. I’ll tell you what I like and we can go from there.”
“Deal,” he said and held out his hand.
“Deal,” she said, giggling as she shook his hand, relieved the thorniest part of this conversation seemed to be resolved. He didn’t smile back as he usually did when he got her laughing, and she felt a shiver down her spine at the feral look in his eye.
Before she knew what was happening, he gripped her wrist and swung her arm over her head. His other hand reached down to find her other hand. He moved it next to where her wrist was pinned and held both her wrists above her head, applying a steady pressure. His now-free hand reached down to firmly hold her throat. She gasped, staring as he loomed down at her.
“I didn’t hear you,” he growled.
“Yes,” she gasped.
“Yes, what?” he demanded.
“Yes, this is what I want.”
“You like it when I pin your hands over your head.”
“Yes.”
“Tell me.”
“I like it when you pin my hands over my head.”
“What else do you like?”
“I like it when you hold my throat like that.” He released his grip on her throat and felt between her legs.
“Fuck, Scully. You’re so wet. Do you feel how wet you are for me?” She whimpered as she nodded.
“I’m going to make you taste yourself.” She nodded again. She was so aroused she felt like she might start weeping any second. He slipped his finger between her lips and she slurped greedily, employing a few of the tongue swirling and lip suction techniques she knew he had grown to love over the last few weeks.
“You love tasting yourself,” he stated.
“Yes,” she whispered, releasing his fingers with a pop.
“You’re a dirty girl, aren’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Say it.”
“I’m a dirty girl.”
“And I’m sorry I ever doubted that.” He said that plainly in his regular speaking voice, the low growl gone for the moment. He gave her a meaningful look before laying a crushing kiss on her lips. “And you are also silly,” he said, back in character, “for thinking would love you less for this.” Another savage kiss. He pulled her lower lip out between his teeth. “As if trusting me enough to let me in this way would be anything less that the hottest thing in the goddamn world.”
Reinforcing his grip on her wrists, he slipped inside her easily. No slow adjustment period needed; she had never been more ready for him. “As if this doesn’t open up a whole new world of possibilities for us. New ways for me to please you, to torment you.” He brushed clit lightly with his thumb but did not leave it there.
“Please,” she panted. She needed the contact.
“Sorry, love. You’re on your own this time.” He grinned wickedly down at her. “I’m not just here for your pleasure, you know. I’m here to take what’s mine.” He punctuated the last several words with vicious thrusts and she cried out with each one. He moved her wrists from above her head to rest on either side of her, holding each with one hand. She whimpered has he put more pressure on her wrists with each thrust. She felt the orgasm grow in her, the first time she had ever experienced a no-hands orgasm. She closed her eyes, focusing on holding that sensation.
Without losing pace, he leaned down and whispered into her ear. “Come for me, baby. Fucking come for me.”
She cried out as her walls clenched and her hips bucked against him, grinding and thrusting against his pelvis. Stars exploded from behind her eyelids and her mind went deliciously blank as the waves of pleasure rolled over her. As her body relaxed, her partner slowed down, moving out of her so only the tip of his cock remained and slowly sliding back in. He released her wrists now and kissed her tenderly, first on the forehead then the side of each eye, the tip of her nose before settling against her lips.
“That was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” he whispered against her skin. She opened her eyes then, still reeling from her orgasm. She felt dizzy, delirious, utterly out of control. He was looking down at her with more love than she had ever seen from anyone in her life and she warmed from his gaze.
“I’m not done with you, though,” he growled. He pulled out of her quickly and she let out a small cry, missing the feel of him already. He flipped her over on to her stomach. Expecting he wanted to fuck her doggy style, she inched her hips up, only to feel his palms press her ass cheeks down until she lay flush against the bed, her face pressed to one side against the pillow. He slipped into her from behind and rested his arms on either side of her own. His entire body was pressed down against her and she felt small and safe under his weight.
“Don’t move, baby,” he muttered into her ear. “I got you.” She moaned into the pillow. How did he seem to know exactly what to say to turn her on on this core level? In that moment, it seemed ridiculous to her that she had ever doubted him, that she had ever thought this was something he wouldn’t want to do with her. Dominance seemed as natural to him as the slow, sensual worship of her body and the realization shot her through with joy.
He was picking up pace now and she could tell he was starting to get close, his movements and soft groans becoming more frantic. He lifted himself off her back a bit and she felt the absence of his weight. His hands gripped her hips as he pounded into her with everything he had. He collapsed against her and she could feel the combined sweat sticking them together. Even though she hadn’t moved, she was panting ever so slightly and she could feel his breath stirring her hair. When he rolled off of her, he lay on his side and she pulled herself against his chest, feeling his sweat on her cheek. She wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her close, letting one hand sneak down to her ass to give it a playful squeeze. She smiled against his skin, sex-drunk and dazed.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“The pleasure was all mine.” He smiled at her. “Well, not all mine, clearly.”
“Don’t think this means you can’t worship my body for an hour at a time,” she mused.
“Sorry, babe. That ship has sailed.”
“No!” she whined, pouting her lip in that way she recently learned drove him crazy. “Can’t I have it both ways?”
“We’ll see.” He grinned and kissed her like it was the first time all over again.