Chapter Text
“What are we going to say to them?” Bruck asked as they waited for the com call to connect.
Obi-Wan shrugged. “I think you summed it up quite nicely outside.”
“No, that’s not what I –”
“Welcome to the Temple active mission line. Please state your name and rank.”
“AgriCorp members Obi-Wan Kenobi and Bruck Chun.” Obi-Wan answered, the hologram distorted and slightly fuzzy with how far they were from the core worlds, “we need to report in. There’s been some issues with our transport.”
“Greetings Corpsman Kenobi, Corpsman Chun.” The droid chirped back, “are you currently injured?”
“Yes, minor injuries though, and already treated.”
“Are you marooned or otherwise incapable of continuing your travel?”
“I’d say that’s a definite yes.” Bruck answered with a snort, eyeing the creaking ship around them distrustfully.
“We are,” Obi-Wan agreed, “I’ve attached our current coordinates to the call.”
“Thank you, Corpsman Kenobi, that will be very helpful. Are you currently under arrest or any other type of incarceration?”
“Not that I’m currently aware of.” Obi-Wan responded dryly, lips twitching at the way Bruck was mouthing ‘under arrest’ under his breath besides him. “We require assistance and direction; this is our first time out of the Temple. Who should we direct our call to?”
“You will wish to speak with the current Mission Quarter Master, Jedi Master Adalwalle Tsho. One moment, I will send your request through.” The droid’s mechanical fingers flew over the holographic keyboard before pausing, letting out a trilling sound of high-pitched beeps. “Ah – patching you through, have a nice day Corpsman Kenobi, Corpsman Chun.”
The connection went white for a moment. Besides him, Bruck was adjusting and readjusting his robes, his sleeve ends, even his tabard. Brow raised, Obi-Wan reached over and poked Bruck in the side. “What the – Obi-Wan!”
“Stop fidgeting so much.”
“I’m not fidgeting.”
“Yes, you are. You’re practically preening.”
“Preen – I am not preening.”
“Am I interrupting?” A new voice interjected and both boys snapped to attention. Obi-Wan felt his eyes widened slightly at the sight of Mace Windu reflected back at them in the pale blue of the holo-projector, a single dark eyebrow raised.
“I’m going to get you for this.” Bruck hissed under his breath.
But Obi-Wan barely heard him. He'd gone completely speechless; a cold sweat erupted over his body, his heart stuttering before racing so quickly in his chest he felt faint with it. He was aware that he’d gone utterly still, his breathing shallow. Fear and dread in equal measures bloomed, his stomach twisting with the emotions. Obi-Wan could feel Bruck staring at him, could see the way the amusement on the Councilmember’s face faded. He was acting oddly, Obi-Wan knew he was, but what could he do?
This was Mace. Mace, with whom he shared a lineage through Master Yoda, who had taken Obi-Wan under his wing after Qui-Gon’s death, who had sheltered both Anakin and Obi-Wan from the worst of his grief. Mace, who had become one of his closest and deepest confidants, who had guided Obi-Wan as he stumbled his way through raising a youngling and muddled into Masterhood. Mace, who had stood and fought by his side through the worst of the Clone Wars. Mace, who looked at him now and saw nothing but a boy, another charge, a youngling that was a responsibility, and saw nothing of what once was.
It was like a second death and Obi-Wan was utterly unprepared for it.
Bruck’s eyes were darting from Obi-Wan to the Jedi Master before he took a step forward quickly, face determined. “Sorry, Master Windu, we were expecting Master Tsho.”
“Master Tsho is currently waylaid, I happened to be next on the call roster.” Mace answered, his eyes remaining steadily on Obi-Wan. “What’s happened to you both? You’re injured?”
“That’s why we’re calling, sir.” Bruck explained, “our transport was attacked.”
Obi-Wan tried to rally himself as Bruck explained their situation, but it was difficult. He forced himself to take steady breaths, but the racing of his heart made it impossible. He stared at the spot just past Mace’s projection, unable to look the man in the face. My Padawan, Obi-Wan thought, hopeless and deeply shamed, killed him.
Anakin had killed him.
“Obi-Wan?” A nudge to his side ripped him from his rapidly circling thoughts and the brunet’s head snapped up to find Bruck looking at him, worry poorly concealed behind his pale eyes.
“Forgive me,” Obi-Wan said, shocked at how level his voice sounded, “I’m tired.”
“That’s alright,” Mace said, voice gentle and so concerned that it just made the knot in his chest twist even tighter, “I was just telling Bruck that you’ve experienced quite the trial. You’ve both done very well.”
“Thank you, Master Windu.”
“How bad is the break?”
Obi-Wan hefted the broken limb up to be more easily seen. “Not bad, nothing that a bacta treatment won’t correct.”
“I’m glad to hear that, make sure you report to a medical office as soon as one becomes available. The good news is that shipping lanes we booked you on our heavily guarded and used – the pirates that attacked you must have been incredibly brazen, in fact. A ship should be able to respond to your SOS soon.” Mace was looking down, fiddling with his pad, and Obi-Wan couldn’t help it – he stared, drinking in the sight of his old friend greedily. “I’ll see if there are any Jedi dispatched nearby that may be able to help you as well.”
“Thank you, Master Windu.” Bruck said, sounding relieved. “We really have had some bad luck. ”
“I’ll contact the captain of your ship should I have more news. Please continue to look after each other.” Mace said, looking up from his pad. “You’ve handled yourselves well, take pride in that.”
“Thank you, Master.” Obi-Wan and Bruck echoed, his words much softer than the boy’s. The com cut out and Obi-Wan stared at the empty space. Almost instantly Bruck whirled on him, face bright with curiosity and no small smugness.
“What was that?”
“Bruck.” Obi-Wan started, but the boy was quick to interrupt.
“You totally froze!”
“I’m going for a walk.” Obi-Wan said flatly, turning away from him.
Bruck followed him, almost on his heels. “What? Where? The island’s hardly bigger than the ship.”
“I don’t know. The caves. Somewhere.”
“Obi-Wan, don’t be stupid. Just tell me what’s–”
Obi-Wan stopped abruptly in front of the open airlock, forcing himself to take a deep breath. “Bruck, give me some space please. Thank you.”
And then he was striding out, the rocky sand beneath his boots crunching loudly.
For all that this unnamed planet may seen drab and dull, with it’s grey-green waves and grey-green sky, the only real change in color being the brown-grey of the rock that formed the island The Monument had landed on, it was not without it’s charm. As the blue star that powered this solar system slowly rose, half-hidden by the stretch of sea, it transformed the landscape. Dramatic shades of blues and violets, pinks and turquoise stretched out from its touch, coloring the sky and waters. It made for a lovely sight. Obi-Wan watched it, hands tucked into the sleeves of his robe and hood pulled up to protect himself from the morning chill. Even after all these years, the universe still managed to catch him off guard with its simplest beauties. There was the soft crunch of rock behind him.
“Feeling less grumpy?”
Obi-Wan gave Bruck a grin. “Yes, actually.”
“Well, at least one of us is in a better mood.” The boy grumbled, before joining him. “It’s pretty.”
“Yes, it is. This was what I always thought about when I thought of being a Jedi.”
“Sunrises? Really?”
Obi-Wan chuckled. “But this isn’t just any sunrise, is it? You and I are standing here, watching a foreign star rise on a foreign world; a world that we have never been to before and may very well never return to.”
“Huh. Well, when you put it that way.” Bruck shuffled uncomfortably next to him. “I’m sorry, about earlier. It’s just – you’ve been so put together this whole time. Even the pirates and the crash, it was like nothing could phase you or something. It bothered me.” It had made him jealous, was what Bruck wasn’t saying, but Obi-Wan kept the thought to himself. It was meaningful enough that the proud boy had managed an apology at all. “When you choked up with Master Windu, it just made me…look, it was stupid. It doesn’t matter. I’m sorry.”
Obi-Wan mused for a moment, picking his words carefully. He had been less careful around Bruck than probably had been wise, but the situation had called for it at the time and well – he was only a boy. That did not mean, however, that Bruck Chun was in anyway stupid.
“It may seem like I have it together but trust me – I really don’t.” Which was so utterly, painfully true in its own way it’d be funny if it wasn’t completely overwhelming. “Everything’s been easy so far because I’ve been able to keep moving. The Hutt attacking you, the pirates, the crash – it’s kept me too busy to stop and think. But…I wasn’t expecting Master Windu. Seeing him was a reminder I suppose, of just how much I’ve lost. I guess I’m not handling being reassigned as well as I thought.”
“Oh.” Bruck’s response was quiet, unsure of itself. After a long moment he shifted, offering Obi-Wan a silver pouch. “I saved you firstmeal. It’s a ready heat, but it’s better than nothing. I’m gonna go ahead and tell you that it is not a meatloaf as advertised. I’m not sure what is, but it’s not meatloaf.”
Obi-Wan laughed, taken aback, the move knocking his hood from his head. He took the meal, detaching the plastic knife and mixing the contents. “Thank you all the same, Bruck. That was thoughtful of you.”
The boy was looking decidedly uncomfortable now, fingers fiddling together. “Yeah, well. We’re stuck with each other now, right? Just like you said. We may as well learn to live together.”
“That we are. My,” Obi-Wan said as he took a bite, nose twitching, “this is foul, isn’t it?”
“I’d stay away from the ‘brownies’ too if I were you.”
Their rescue came only a few hours after the sun had risen and the transport that hovered over the water of their small island was a sleek travel cruiser. Medic and repair drones and personal were lowered down first, dispersing either into the crowd of gawking miners or into the bowels of The Monument. Next to him, Bruck was all but vibrating with excitement when two brown cloaked figures made the leap from the cruiser’s open ramp to the shoreline.
A tall Bothan was making his way towards them, his Padawan, an even taller Human boy – all lanky legs and with the start of a patchy chin growth – following a step behind him. The Bothan raised a hand in greeting. “Obi-Wan Kenobi? Bruck Chun?”
“Hello, Master.” Obi-Wan greeted, lips twitching at the way the Padawan’s head craned to follow one of the better-looking Monument crewmen as he rushed past them, arms wrapped around a bulky repair crate. “I am Obi-Wan, this is Bruck.”
“Greetings,” the Bothan said warmly, “I’m relieved to see you mostly unharmed. When I received Master Windu’s com I was deeply worried. I’m Master Laze Washet and this is my Padawan, Darred Subra. May I see your arm?”
Obi-Wan offered it, feeling some of the tension in his shoulders leave when the Jedi Master immediately soothed it through the Force. “Thank you.”
“No problem.” Master Washet said, patting his shoulder. “Just a little something to hold you over until we can get you aboard and into the med-bay.”
“You’ll be taking us with you, then?” Bruck asked eagerly, nearly bouncing on his feet. “I am so ready to be off this rock.”
Master Washet laughed. “Yes. We can’t fit everyone, but the captain of our transport ship, The Cloudsinger, has kindly agreed to take you two on to Bandomeer for a small charge. Your captain has already agreed to stay behind with the crew and passengers to wait for the tow-ship. It should be arriving within a few hours and until then a military cruiser will be remaining in orbit just to be safe. Can you make the jump to the ship?”
“I can. Bruck?”
The boy eyed where the ship hovered, eyes calculating. “Yeah, no problem.”
“I’ll go first, just in case.” Master Washet said. “I can catch either one of you if needed.”
Bruck look affronted but Obi-Wan agreed quickly. “We’ll just need a moment to collect our belongings and say goodbye.”
“Of course.”
Fifteen minutes later found both boys landing lightly onto The Cloudsinger’s cargo ramp. Bruck shot Obi-Wan a smirk. “See, told you I could do it.”
“I never doubted.” Obi-Wan promised. “Where will we be staying?”
“I’m afraid this is a fully booked passage,” Master Washet said apologetically, “but you boys can take turns sharing our bunks. I’m able to go without sleep quite easily, so one of you may use mine, and Darred is more than happy to share his if needed. It should only take us a day or so to get to Bandomeer from here.”
“Assuming there’s no more pirates.” Bruck bemoaned bitterly as they followed the Master and Padawan deeper into the ship. They settled into a fairly large galley, earning a few interested looks from other passengers. Jedi were fairly rare to see, let alone so many grouped together.
“Let’s hope not.” Obi-Wan agreed. “I’ve quite had my fill, I think.”
“You ran into pirates?” Darred asked, curiosity on his face.
Obi-Wan opened his mouth only to shut it with a huff as Bruck launched into the whole gaudy tale. “Bruck,” Obi-Wan said after a moment, exasperated, “that did not happen.”
“Be quiet, I’m telling the story.” Bruck shushed, turning back to the deeply interested Padawan. Obi-Wan shook his head, standing and leaving the boys to it. He made his way towards the caf machine. He pulled his credit chip out, eyeing it dubiously. He absolutely no idea if there was any money on it.
A chip appeared in front of his face, Master Washet smiling down at him. “Here, you can use mine. Aren’t you a little young for caf?”
“Thank you and no, I’m not.” Obi-Wan said, running the chip and sighing when the machine spit out a cup and began to fill it. “I’ll have you know no one is too young for caf.”
“I’m fairly certain just about every healer at the Temple would disagree with that.” Washet said, sounding deeply amused. Obi-Wan ignored the Bothan, sipping the caf with a sigh of pleasure. He turned to lean on the counter, the hot cup cradled in his good hand, and watched where Bruck was animatedly telling the story of the caves attack to Darred, complete with hand motions. “They seem like they’re getting along.”
Obi-Wan let out a hum of agreement. “They do. Bruck was always a charismatic one, he’s always made friends easily.”
“Do you wish to join them?”
“Oh no, I think Bruck’s got it handled. I must thank you again for our rescue. Another day on that planet and I think Bruck was going to start swimming.”
Washet laughed. “I see.”
“I wouldn’t say no to a shower, though.”
“Of course, my apologies. Please, follow me. We have a private fresher attached to our room you are more than welcome to.”
“That sounds absolutely lovely.”
Obi-Wan gave Bruck first call on the bed. The boy was obviously exhausted no matter how hard he tried to hide it, and it was clear in the simple way he managed to sleep through Darred’s snoring if nothing else. Obi-Wan had made himself a home in the galley, falling into a light trance beneath one of the viewing windows. After a while, Obi-Wan became aware of the steady presence of another next to him. He opened his eyes to find Master Washet sitting directly across from him, mirroring his pose, hands resting lightly on his knees.
He took in the sight of the Bothan’s tranquil face before closing his eyes once more, allowing himself to slip back under. Washet’s Force signature brushed across his own, a light, stalwart pulse as steady as a heartbeat. Obi-Wan reflexively matched his own to it, feeling his shoulders drift even further down, his entire body relaxing. The Force hummed between them in a closed loop, the signatures of every living creature on the ship hovering just outside, as well as the brighter, stronger presences of both Bruck and Darred, calm and sedate in sleep. Obi-Wan took comfort in it, unable to think of the last time he had meditated like this, with another Jedi, both of them soothed and at peace.
Obi-Wan was pulled from the trance a few hours later, following the shift in Master Washet. “It’s halfway through the night, Obi-Wan. You can switch with Darred if you wish.”
“Let him sleep.” Obi-Wan said with a shake of his head, “I can handle a night.”
Washet watched him, head cocked slightly to the side. “If that is what you wish. Obi-Wan,” and something in his voice, something in the tone made Obi-Wan instantly wary, “Bruck shared with me your fight.”
“…yes?”
“This was your first time taking a life, was it not?” Oh. Obi-Wan’s eyes widened. Oh. Oh. This was that talk. “It has been a very trying few days for you, between being reassigned and the events on The Monument. And taking a life is never easy. If you wish to speak about it, I would gladly listen.”
Obi-Wan felt a surge of fondness for the Jedi Master sitting before him, watching him with such concerned eyes. It seemed that he would never be too old to be humbled by the kindness of others, or to be reminded of the inherent good that people had. He couldn’t quite hide the softening of his features, though he glanced down at his hands to buy him a moment. To slip around Bruck was one thing, but Master Washet was a Jedi Master and required more finesse. Obi-Wan thought back, pulling from when he’d had this conversation years ago, with Qui-Gon in a small cabin after a particularly nasty mission.
“It was easier than I thought.” Obi-Wan said slowly. “I had always thought that taking a life would be a production; a notable moment or something. I think I thought that it would be hard, that I would be agonized with indecision. But when it happened, it happened so quickly. I’d never faced violence like that before leaving the Temple, not true violence, not true intent. I could feel that they wanted to hurt me. That they would kill me, or Bruck, or any of the miners we were protecting. When the time came, I just…acted. And then everything just kept happening, so quickly that I didn’t even have a moment to think about it.”
“And now that you have?” Washet prompted gently.
“I regret that a life was taken, but I don’t regret what I took it for.”
“It is always startling, to realize just how fragile a life is.” Master Washet said after a moment. “It is important to remember that every life has its own story; family, friends, wants and hopes and dreams. Even if they were the aggressors, your attackers had such things as well. Death should never be a flippant thing.”
A leathery hand came to rest over Obi-Wan’s, stilling their fidgeting. Washet ducked down, his brown eyes seeking his own until Obi-Wan finally looked up.
“While we should never seek it and it should always remain a last resort, killing is not always unavoidable. You did what you had to Obi-Wan, to defend yourself and those around you from imminent peril. Always remember what you have learned here, youngling. Death itself is an easy thing, it is those that live that remain with the consequences. You were put in a difficult situation and have handled it with an impressive amount of maturity. You have done well, Obi-Wan. Take comfort in that, if nothing else.”
“Thank you, Master Washet.” Obi-Wan said, bowing his head. “I will remember your words.”
“You are a Jedi, Obi-Wan.” Washet said quietly, “even if your path has taken you in a direction you never imagined it would, never forget that.”
Abruptly, Obi-Wan found himself blinking back tears, staring at his limp hands once more. “I don’t feel like a Jedi. I have made so many mistakes, so many missteps.”
“There are many ways to serve, Obi-Wan.” Washet said, tilting his long head back to stare at the blinking hyperspace. “We put much emphasis on becoming a Jedi Knight – and I know that I am speaking from a privileged position and I don’t mean to demean your own feelings – but I sometimes wonder if we perhaps do our young a disservice. There is much honor and, to be frank, freedom to be found within the Jedi Corps.
It is a matter of micro and macros, Obi-Wan. We Knights work on large scales; we may stop a few wars, yes, or arrange ceasefires, deal with political disputes. But who is to say that is any less important than an Exploration Corpsman who maps a planet? Or an Agri-Corpsman from who’s actions a planet finds its face transformed and crops grown? The Corpsmen may not get as much attention and they may work on a smaller platform, but they are just as vital as any other branch of our order.”
“You are very kind.” Obi-Wan said fondly, a mute smile ticking across his lips at the way that Master Washet jolted at his words.
“I am just doing what any would.” The Bothan said abashedly. “After all, ‘our family is small –”
“– but it is our own.’” Obi-Wan finished. “Thank you, Master Washet. I will not lie to you, I find it hard to know who I am if I am not a to be a Knight. I built my entire life around the idea that I would be one. Now that I find my feet set in another direction, I am unsure of how to begin.”
“You begin by taking the first step, the rest will follow.” Washet visibly softened, concern making his long ears drift back. “But do not give up before you even begin.”
“I do not fear new beginnings.” Obi-Wan admitted, eyes drifting down to his hands. Though the Master may not know it, they were having two completely different conversations. “But rather what is to come.”
“You must not focus so wholly on the future, to do so is to be overwhelmed by it.” The Bothan cautioned, “what will come, will come. You can only handle what it is that is set before you now. Trust that the Force will guide you.”
“And if I can not discard the future so?”
“I did not say discard it, but to take it one step at a time.” Washet corrected. “Remember that the only constant in life is your own actions and reactions. No matter how well you may have planned or forethought, you can never truly predict how a situation will play out. You can only do what you deem right in that moment, nothing else.”
Obi-Wan let out a sigh. “I see.”
“You are not alone, Obi-Wan. Remember that no matter where life may take you, you will always have a home among the Jedi.”
Obi-Wan stared at his hands, watching as they curled into fists. It was the Jedi he wanted to protect. He wished – he wished so many things. To save Anakin, to stop the Clone Wars before they could begin, to keep so many of his friends and loved ones from dying such pointless deaths. He wanted to forestall Qui-Gon’s death, wanted to keep Mace alive and whole, to squirrel Bruck away some place where he would continue to grow and surprise Obi-Wan.
So many people, so many names. He had no idea where to even start.
Obi-Wan supposed he would just have to take that first step.