Work Text:
I'll be there around 5pm. I look forward to seeing you.
She'd re-written those two lines several dozen times, tapping away as the train jolted and jostled her, trying to convey the appropriate level of... something. She'd even tentatively added a few emoji to some attempts before immediately deleting them in a flush of panic. She would have fought a thousand shadows rather than press the “send” button, but somehow she had summoned the courage, only to instantly be assaulted by a string of better words and sentences that she obviously should have used instead. She almost fell out of her seat when her phone buzzed back a reply.
In her shoulder bag she had a letter from the Kirijo Group executive board, a few belated house-warming gifts and an empty file optimistically titled “Progress Report”. These were her charms, her sensible and adult justifications for taking this journey back to the place she had spent most of her life. None of them were as potent or as terrifying as the message she now held in her hand, as few pixels unassumingly arranged into the words: “k senpai, c u there <3”
***
"...and obviously that is what your father would have preferred. Of course, we will ensure that you are always cared for, and we at the Kirijo group will always appreciate your input, should you wish to sit in on any meetings once you have graduated."
Shinjiro made a noise that sounded more like a growl than a curse. "You're not gonna let them talk down to you like that." Mitsuru stopped reading the letter and raised an eyebrow at him. It hadn't been a question, and though Akihiko gave him a sidelong glance she could tell from his posture and his clenched fists that he wasn't pleased, either.
"...of course not," she eventually said. Akihiko's shoulders relaxed almost imperceptibly. "The tone is obviously meant to remind me that I am still only a child, and they are-"
"A bunch of crumbling old men, tch. Can't you just throw them all out on their asses?" This time Akihiko muttered a half-hearted "Shinji..."
Mitsuru resisted the urge to smile and instead sighed, holding her arm. She'd come to Akihiko and Shinjiro's shared college dorm room, although if she was any judge of Akihiko's recent behaviour it would soon be only Shinji's. It was a spartan two-bed affair, neat and impersonal even with Akihiko's work-out gear folded against one wall and almost no sign of Shinjiro himself, although she'd seen signs of his influence in the communal kitchen. She herself attended a more prestigious (and far more expensive) institution several hours away, and if she were honest nothing about this letter had required that she travel to read it to them in person. Perhaps it was some residual remnant of her team instincts.
She folded it up neatly and slipped it into a pocket in her coat. "My father had to earn their respect, and in far direr circumstances. If I cannot do the same then I am not worthy of his name." She smiled then, though a little thinly. "As in battle, a short, sharp thrust early on will let them know that they are outmatched."
"Well that's more like it," Akihiko said, smiling back at her. Shinjiro nodded, still regarding her carefully.
"You know I'm not exactly the guy for business and figures and all that crap, but if you need anything..."
"Yes, of course," she said. Searching for a way to change the subject, she trailed her fingers along one of the wooden shelves set into the wall. "Hmm," she murmured, bringing them to her face, "you've been here a few months and not a spot of dust. Impressive, Shinjiro."
"Hmph, whatever."
Akihiko muttered, "why do you assume it's only him? I clean. I'm not some sort of, of Junpei."
***
Junpei himself she ran into sooner than she had anticipated. She'd intended to visit the old shrine and let herself enjoy some quiet nostalgia, but just as she reached the steps a blue ball sailed past her, closely followed by a white, panting blur.
"He ran so fast! Should we stop him ,Junpei?"
"Nah, there's no cars this time of day, he'll be back in a sec."
But Koromaru, having retrieved his ball, suddenly noticed Mitsuru and bounded over, baring his throat for scratches.
She obliged him, squatting down in front of him. "You peculiar animal. I've missed you, too."
"Senpai?"
She looked up the steps and saw Junpei, framed like one of his action heroes by the afternoon light streaming behind him. "Hello, Iori. I'm glad to see you're well." She straightened up and climbed up towards him, Koromaru following dutifully behind her. Always unsure how to act around Junpei, she awkwardly extended a hand, which he shook equally awkwardly.
"Senpai, what are you doing here? N-not that it's not great to see you, but I thought you were living way out at, uh, some fancy business college?" He kept stepping to the side as she walked along the stone path. "Is there something going on? Y'know, something," he leaned in to whisper conspiratorially in her ear, "shadowy?"
"No! No, not at all, I merely had some small business here and thought it might be prudent- Iori, I can see her behind you over there. Besides, I heard you two talking from the street."
Junpei jumped, turning towards the girl sitting on the bench as if he had only just noticed her. "Oh, Chidori! Yeah, we were just um, talking about stuff and, you know. Koromaru, mostly. Do you think he's getting out of shape? We oughta come play with him more, now that he's not getting exercise with SEES."
Mitsuru looked over at the young woman nervously sketching by the park. "She looks well," she muttered to herself, but Junpei answered, "yeah, she's getting stronger all the time. And more... lively, I guess."
She made a decision and strode over towards the girl. Chidori looked up, taking in the tall woman in the leather jacket as if sizing her up, something that made Mitsuru uneasy even with the promise that she was without her powers or persona.
"You are... Kirijo-san, Junpei's senpai? It is good to see you again."
The lie didn't worry Mitsuru very much. She couldn't expect the girl to enjoy a reminder of the time she'd woken up in a hospital with years of her life missing. "It is good to see you in good health again, Yoshino-san. If there are any lingering issues, we will of course be happy to help at any time, just contact me."
She nodded curtly, then returned to her drawing. Mitsuru looked towards Junpei, who thankfully had also noted the meaning of the gesture. "So, me and senpai will just catch up over by the fortune stall, okay? We're blocking her light," he loudly added as he led her away.
"Most of the time she's lively, I guess," he said, as they reached the stand.
"Don't worry Iori. I don't expect her to be my friend." Seeing the look of hurt on his face, she added, "at least not immediately. Regardless, I came to find out about how the former SEES members were doing. Iori... Junpei, how are your studies progressing?"
"My studies? Uh, pretty good, senpai. Really good, actually, compared to what my grades were like before. I guess maybe SEES taught me some discipline, huh?"
Mitsuru smiled indulgently. "I do recall some brief flashes of discipline in between the running off and getting yourself into trouble."
He laughed, "aw c'mon senpai, that was only once... twice.”
Mitsuru smiled and nodded as Junpei talked about his school work, his new accommodations and his tentative plans for a part-time job. He was a little formal despite his protests, more so than they had been before, and that hurt more than she had expected. It was only proper, she reminded herself. They no longer lived in the same world.
“To be honest, I kinda wish you had come to bring SEES back, you know? I mean, not because something bad would be happening, but I miss all of us fighting together." His face fell suddenly. "I miss her, too. I guess it wouldn't be the same without her leading us anyway."
"Yes," she said, jolted out of her thoughts by that stab of grief, guilt. The two of them stood in silence for a little while. Mitsuru had tried not to dwell on the fact that now she would be the leader of any shadow operations, should one arise, and in that silence she felt the weight of that responsibility almost as strongly as the loss of her friend.
Eventually Junpei broke the silence, speaking with forced joviality. "So you've visited everyone? How do you think we're holding up by ourselves? You seen the girls yet?"
She frowned. "No, not yet. Akihiko and Shinjiro seem to doing as well as I'd expected. Koromaru and yourself also appear to be thriving." Junpei beamed at that. "Takeba, Aigis and Yamagishi I have yet to see, though."
And Ken?" Junpei added, expectantly.
She winced slightly. "I thought perhaps it might be better if I did not see him. He has his education and so forth to acclimate to."
"What? Senpai, he'd be thrilled to see you! He really respects his senpai, that kid. And heck, he's probably getting on better than most students my age. Go visit him, here, lemme give you his address-"
"I know where he lives, Iori." Junpei looked hurt, and she lowered her voice slightly. "He's still a child, and now he has the opportunity to continue to live as one. He's come so far from that lonely, angry boy he was, it is time he moved forward with his life. My visiting him would only stir up the past."
Junpei shuffled from foot to foot. "I dunno, senpai. I still think you should go see him. He's still one of us, you know? And yeah he might be a kid, but he's not really a child any more. We all grew up a lot that year."
It seemed like he was trying to reassure her, but the reminder that her actions had left permanent marks on all of their lives was no comfort. Still, she forced a smile. "I will consider it. Thank you, Junpei."
He nodded. "Really, we all ought to get together more often. You can't save the world together and then just drift apart, right?"
"Indeed." Still, she was feeling shaken. "I had best be on my way if I'm to see the others. Take care, Junpei. You too," she added, hearing Koromaru's whines at her feet. She reached down to pet him, letting him lick her hand in an almost gentlemanly way.
"It really was very good to see you both. Chidori as well."
"Oh, are you leaving?" She jumped at Chidori's voice, turning to see the girl standing behind her, her drawing pad hanging loosely at her side.
"Ah, yes. I was saying that it has been very good to see you all so well."
Chidori nodded curtly.
"Don't be a stranger, senpai!" Junpei called as she descended the steps to the street.
"Yes, do come visit again, Artemi- Kirijo-san."
Mitsuru froze as she turned the corner, her blood running cold.
"Uh, hey, what did you call her just now, Chidori?" If Junpei was trying to hide the panic in his voice, he was failing.
"I... I'm not sure. I must have confused her for someone else, but I was sure... Junpei, lets go and sit down, alright? I feel faint again."
Mitsuru waited, her heart in her throat. After a while the two began talking about school and other trivial things, but she still felt a deep sense of unease.
She would have to return again sooner than she'd thought.
***
The new dorm was one of the more recently-added buildings, closer to the school and the mall. Still, it was hard for her to shake the feeling that it was wrong, too small, too sleek. As she knocked, it felt as if she had just come to collect her old team and walk them back after a brief vacation.
The door was opened by a girl with blond hair streaked with red. "Oh... You're not him," she murmured, looking Mitsuru up and down. "Uh, are you somebody's tutor or something?"
"I am Mitsuru Kirijo."
This met with a blank stare, and then a bright smile. "Are you moving in late? Don't worry, Yamagishi-senpai knows all the forms and stuff, she'll take care of you. Come in, let me find her for you, she's usually in even on weekends. Yamagishi-senpai!" She called, half-dragging Mitsuru through the door.
Like her old dorm, this one had a lounge on its first floor, and Mitsuru was painfully aware that Fuuka was not the only student who had chosen to stay in this evening. Half-a-dozen wide-eyed faces stared at her, some of them with recognition. Even in her street clothes she had never mastered how to look, well, not like a Kirijo. The building still smelled new in an uncomfortable chemical way. She tucked back her hair awkwardly.
"Oh, there she is!" The dyed-girl pointed towards the cramped staircase at the rear of the room, then promptly darted away to sit with the others. Mitsuru was left adrift for a moment before Fuuka appeared, laptop under one arm.
Her face changed from mild confusion to happiness as she saw Mitsuru. "Senpai! I got your message, but I didn't think you'd be here this late. Oh, it's alright," she shushed as Mitsuru began making her apologies, "I would have stayed in anyway. Aigis, look!" she called up the stairs she had just descended. "Are you hungry? I can make you something. Don't worry, my cooking has really improved recently."
The looks on the faces of the other students suggested otherwise, but Mitsuru allowed herself to be talked into a cup of tea. Fuuka was dropping a worrying amount of sugar into the cup, cheerfully introducing everyone, when Aigis delicately walked up to her.
"It is good to see you, Mitsuru-senpai."
"Please, just 'Mitsuru' really is fine. I think we are all beyond formality now," she added hopefully. She sipped her tea, holding back a flinch at the sweetness, and looked over the mechanical girl. Aigis was wearing a long-sleeved shirt with a skirt that almost trailed on the floor, and a small clip pinned in her hair. She looked more human that Mitsuru remembered, though that may have been something more than her uncharacteristically casual clothes. The way she stood and talked, the slight movements of her face as she spoke and smiled seemed more genuine, less performed.
"You're a friend of Ai-chan's, too?" Dyed-girl had wandered over with one of her friends, a slimmer, plainer young woman.
"We all used to live together last year, Aya-chan," Fuuka explained. "Mitsuru-senpai's company funded our school, and this building, too. Aya-chan moved here from the countryside to attend Gekkoukan High, and we've been helping her settle in," she added for Mitsuru's benefit.
"Ai-chan was very helpful, but I guess she knows what it's like to come from far away. She and Yukari-senpai took me out to get my hair coloured," she flipped back said hair as she spoke, smiling, "but I guess it must have been even harder for Ai-chan, coming all the way from Europe. Oh! Does that mean you know Yukari-senpai, too?"
Mitsuru did flinch, then, covering it with another sip of her tea. Luckily, Aigis stepped in, "yes Yukari also lived with us before we moved here. When the new semester started, she said that we needed to 'change up' our appearances, so we all went to purchase clothes and cosmetics. She helped me chose these," she said, gesturing to her ensemble. "Fuuka-san also purchased a necklace," she added.
Fuuka blushed. "Well, I don't really wear very much other than my school uniform, so it seemed silly to get very much."
Aya-chan spoke up, arguing that Fuuka would definitely need to wear other clothes for the many excursions they would be undertaking as a group. She was swiftly joined by the other underclassmen, along with many earnest proclamations of Fuuka's (and Aigis's) unique and beautiful features that should certainly not be wasted staying indoors for the entire year. Mitsuru added her agreements where she could get a word in, but she didn't particularly mind being left to the sidelines. It was gratifying to see arguably the two most socially awkward members of her team becoming so popular and respected among their peers and the new students.
Perhaps she could ask them to join the student council- but no, she had promised herself that she wouldn't meddle in that any more. She had assembled a capable team of councillors in her time, and they would do their jobs perfectly well without her interference. She forced down the last of the sickly sweet tea.
***
SEES could never have been accused of keeping good, healthy hours, but the regular students seemed to have plenty of energy for watching T.V. and talking amongst themselves well into the night. Apparently Mitsuru's arrival demanded some sort of celebration, despite none of the three people directly involved being particularly enthusiastic about parties and the like. Still, after Fuuka was convinced that her talents would be better served hooking up the stereo and DVD player than cooking the food it wasn't entirely unpleasant. As the evening wore on more girls returned from their excursions in town and the focus moved from quizzing the three of them on their year together (questions which often required quite a lot of fabrication) and more towards general socialising. Talking to her old team mates in front of other was always going to be like speaking partially in code, she realised. Despite the discomfort at the heart of that, it had its advantages. Both of them also had their own questions, largely about whether or not they would ever be required to go into battle again. These, Mitsuru tried to brush of as best she could, taking advantage of the façade of normalcy.
***
She was asleep, no, she had been asleep. Curled up on one of the unforgiving new couches, warm from the blanket someone must have draped over her while she slept. Had been asleep, but now she was groggily waking up to the feeling of a hand slipping into hers. She felt tiredness like a suffocating cloud, but she cracked open her eyes just enough to resolve the darkness in front of her into murky shadows, then shapes, then a pale face.
Yukari was sitting on the floor in front of her, head resting on the side of the couch and one arm slung over her hips. It was hard to make out her expression in the gloom, but when Mitsuru jumped up, already stumbling over apologies, she shushed her and clambered to her feet long enough to plant a soft kiss slightly to the left of her mouth.
“Can I...?” she asked and Mitsuru responded with, “yes, of course,” before considering exactly what she had been asked. She was only a little relieved when Yukari just sat down between her and the arm of the couch, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and sighing into her hair.
Her breath brushed the back of her neck, and Mitsuru busied herself with the tangled blanket and whispered “I missed you,” to distract herself.
“I kinda worried you might not come back.” Every word hushed against her skin.
“I,” she began, before Yukari cut her off.
“I knew you would, but you know. I thought maybe you'd want to stay away from this place, and, well me.”
“No. Quite the opposite, in fact.” She settled awkwardly against her, aware of the way Yukari seemed so short and small against her and how her body pressed against her back. “Though I must confess that I have been... concerned, about what I would do at this moment.”
“Worried that you might do something inappropriate, senpai? I'm joking!” She added as Mitsuru pressed her hands against her face.
“Oh God, I have no idea what I'm doing.” Mitsuru offered her hand to the space over her left shoulder, and was relieved (or possibly terrified, it was becoming hard to tell) when her fingers became re-tangled with Yukari's.
“Hey, it's okay! Really, I don't exactly know how all this is meant to go either.”
“No, I, well yes, but, I mean everything. Everyone seems to believe that I have goals and plans, but in truth ever since my persona manifested I have only had one, and now it is finished.” She sighed. “And now it appears that the abilities I have developed over the past years are far too specialised to be useful for much else- what?”
Yukari had been holding back laughter that she could feel shaking against her. “Senpai, really,” she giggled breathlessly.
“What is it?” she asked again, straining around to look at her.
Her eyes had adjusted to the darkness now, and she felt her chest wrench to see Yukari smiling through her words. “I think if you don't know how to deal with things then there's not much hope for the rest of us. You were always the mature one who knew everything, and that was before we added children and animals and, well, Aigis.”
She forced a frown. “Still, I really don't think-”
“Mitsuru. I know you want us all to go back to being regular people, but maybe you're not the only person who can't just... walk away from something like that. And now that, you know, you're kind of our leader, well...”
She rolled over until she was kneeling over her, gripping her shoulder and hoping that the sincerity and gravity on her face would show in the dark. “Yukari, it would be difficult and dangerous and complicated. I don't know if I can rely on the Kirijo Group to act in my best interests and as such I cannot promise the resources that we relied on will remain within my grasp. It would take so much time and risk, and to be honest the more research I've done the more I have become concerned that defeating the shadows entirely may be completely impossible.”
“But we promised her. And she didn't get to, well... She made a choice to keep fighting, maybe forever. She was my best friend, you know? I can't just turn away if there's even the slightest chance that I can still help her.” Mitsuru started to talk, but Yukari pressed a hand gently over her mouth, the other squeezing her hand. “Besides, even if that wasn't the case, there's-” she took a deep breath, and Mitsuru was suddenly reminded of the first time she'd held her hand like this, when she'd been afraid of a far more immediate future. “Besides,” Yukari whispered, “there's really no where else I'd rather be, so you're just gonna have to accept that you're stuck with me, and us, senpai.”
She bit her lip, trying to suppress a small, selfish smile. “I couldn't ask for better company.” Gingerly, her fingernails trailing over her cheek, she brushed her faintly tousled hair away from her face.
“You haven't kissed me hello yet, senpai,” Yukari said with a tone of exaggerated hurt.
She graciously acknowledged her error, then leant in to correct it.