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As everyone who’d seen his movie would know, Cable and Deadpool were totally BFFs now and hung out all the time!
...What, you don’t buy that, reader? Okay, they were work friends and hung out some of the time.
...Still no? You’re ruthless. Fine. On a few occasions, Wade had gently and lovingly broken in to the shitty little motel room that Cable was still inexplicably living in (hacking? Intimidation? Did the manager have a cyborg fetish?) to chatter at him for a few hours, and Cable tolerated it. Every friendship had to start somewhere.
Today, Cable was cleaning his (literal) gun while Wade was idly thinking about playing with his (metaphorical) gun—well, the literal one too, let’s be honest—and complaining that the X-People had stopped taking his calls.
“Just because I was prank-calling them the last five times doesn’t mean all my calls are pranks. What if there was a real emergency this time? I mean there wasn’t, I was going to ask Colossus if the X-Fridge was running, but I can’t believe they’d just assume—”
And then out of the blue, Cable said, “Want me to fuck you?”
Uhhh, what? “Are you talking to me?”
“I don’t see anyone else here fantasizing about my dick.”
“How did you know?! Uh, I mean, I was not!”
“I’m a telepath.”
“Okay, I’m calling bullshit on that. If you could read minds I think it would have come up during our movie, smart guy.”
“I don’t use my powers unless I have to. And I can’t usually read you, anyway, but right now you’re practically shouting how horny you are to every telepath in a five-mile radius.”
“So you’re, what, staking your claim on me?”
A little huff that was aaaaalmost a laugh. “Something like that.”
“Aww, that’s so sweet. I have two questions, though. One: have we really not switched to the metric system yet in the future? And two: you’re just messing with me, right?”
“We use both, it depends. And no, I’m not. You want me and I… don’t mind.” Cable was looking him right in the eye, focused and intent, and fuck that was hot. Wade felt the frustration that had been simmering in his belly all day surge into full arousal. He let out a shaky breath at the desires now playing vividly in his mind.
Cable grinned at him. Fucking cute old man, not fair. “Spanking, huh? Sure, we can do that. Still need a yes or no, though.”
“Yes, you dick.” Wade pulled his shirt over his head and tried not to watch Cable watching him strip.
“Mm, nice.” Cable must be mocking him, right? He sure as hell sounded sincere, though. Something warm fluttered in his stomach. The Taco Bell he’d had earlier was probably mutating into butterfly wings, stuff like that happened all the time in this franchise.
“Come over here, Wade. Hands and knees.” Cable petted the bedsheets. Wade exhaled and got on the bed as instructed. He wanted this bad but he was starting to get really nervous. Time for a joke!
“Have I been a bad boy?”
“Oh, probably.” A flesh-and-blood hand caressed Wade’s bare backside, making him shiver. “This isn’t a punishment, though. I’m going to spank you because you fucking love it.”
Smack. “Yes!”
A warm chuckle. “Yeah. Again?”
“Yes, please Cable!” Smack. “Ah! Don’t stop.” Smack.
“Tell me, then.” Smack. “Tell me you love it.” Smack.
“Oh! I love it, I love it so much, it’s so good, ah!” Cable continued to spank him as Wade moaned and babbled praise.
Smack, smack, smack, smack, smack! Wade muffled a scream into the mattress and hid his face there, breathing raggedly. Cable caressed him again.
“Fuck, look at you. Got me hard. Are you gonna come for me like this?”
“I… oh god… I don’t know…” he panted, overwhelmed.
“Want some more?”
“No, I want… Cable, please fuck me, please...”
“Shh. You got it. Move up the bed a little.”
Wade groaned in relief and dragged himself closer to the headboard. Wasn’t even attached to the bed, just screwed to the wall. He turned himself on his side to watch Cable take off his clothes and also silently judge his choice of living space.
“Holy cow, you’ve got that virus thing all over your chest, too? It looks so fucking cool. I know, it’s slowly killing you, blah blah blah be sensitive, but between you and me? I think I might be developing a slight metal kink.”
“Everyone already knew that, dumbass.” But it was fond. Just a little bit.
“Oh. Listen, I also like you for your abs and your biceps and your goofy undercut, don’t worry. Oh wow, there’s your dick! That, too. Like, a LOT. Sweet Bea Arthur, that is a nice cock you’ve got going on and I’d like it inside me as soon as possible, pretty please and thank you.”
Cable shook his head, a slight smirk quirking the corner of his mouth. “That’s the idea.” He opened the top drawer of the nightstand and pulled out a small bottle of lube. It was transparent, so Wade could see that—
“It’s half empty! Ooh, you’re naughty.”
“You’re the one who never shuts up about his prostate, hypocrite. Now spread your legs, unless you want another spanking.”
“That’s a really tough call.” But he turned back over on his stomach and spread his legs. Wade was tempted to roll on his back so he could watch Cable growl sexily at him, but god, he really needed to get railed right now and there was nothing like being taken from behind. Even if the headboard wouldn’t bang satisfyingly against the wall. Yeah, he wasn’t going to let that go.
Cable slipped two wet (cold! Thanks, asshole) fingers into him, sloooowly pressing them in and pulling them out, exploring his insides like the world’s laziest spelunker. “Aaaand we’re good, I think. I think we’re good. Cable, that’s… Cable. I’m good, I said. Come on, let’s go, while we’re still young. I mean, it’s too late for you, obviously, but I’m still—”
Another chuckle. Jerk was enjoying watching him squirm. “You’re not going to annoy me into fucking you, Wade. Just relax and enjoy it. Do they still say ‘patience is a virtue’ in this century?”
“I hope you realize how hypocritical that is coming from a time traveler,” Wade grumbled.
“Guess we’re both hypocrites, then.” He slipped in a third finger and Wade moaned softly, his eyes falling closed.
“That does feel really good, just so you know.” He could enjoy the fucking moment. He could. “I’m still fantasizing about your dick, though.”
“Believe me, I know.”
Cable kept fingering him, excruciatingly slow, until he was biting the pillow to keep from whimpering and begging. This was tortuous enough already, Wade didn’t need a demonstration on how icebergs fucked. When Cable finally, finally took his fingers out and Wade felt his cock pressing against him, he thought he might cry in relief.
“Yes… yes, please Cable, please...” he whispered. Cable kissed the back of his neck and then nuzzled him, and just like that those fucking mutant Taco Bell butterfly wings were back again. Cable pushed inside him all the way—all the way, fuck, finally, yes—and grabbed his hips in a firm, authoritative grip, oh god, keep it together, Wade! You cannot come yet or he’ll never respect you again!
“Yeah, I will. Don’t worry about it.”
Shit, did he say all that out loud?
“Yeah. I don’t know what the fuck a Taco Bell butterfly is but I’m glad you’re having fun.”
Wade groaned, slightly embarrassed but mostly desperately horny, and pressed his face into the pillow again to shut himself up. Cable picked up the pace and started thrusting into him hard. Yes. God. Rough and deep and perfect. Over and over, rhythm of a really sexy futuristic metronome, and as Cable kept going and going and going Wade knew the pillow wasn’t muffling his moans and cries and pleas anymore, so he raised his head up and let his mouth go.
“Fuckfuckfuck, Cable, yes, please, just like that! You’re so fucking good, oh my god, fuck me like that, I love it, don’t stop, please, I’m gonna come, I’m gonna, I, I—”
“Do it. Come for me, handsome.”
Oh. Oh. Oh wow. Wade was so not expecting that, and there was absolutely nothing he could do besides come messily all over Cable’s cheap motel sheets, moaning helplessly.
“Fuck yeah. You look so good, you sound so good when you come for me, I fucking love hearing your voice...” Cable ground hard against his prostate, grabbed his dick with that sexy metal virus whatever-the-fuck hand and jacked him a few times, and Wade couldn’t tell if he was coming again, or if he was still riding his first orgasm, or if he had just fully astral-projected out of his dick and was floating on the goddamn ceiling watching Cable rut into his shuddering ragdoll body.
Eventually—eventually, the overwhelming intensity of their orgasms began to wane and they both remembered how to breathe and think again. Eventually.
“About damn time,” Cable rumbled into the back of his neck.
“Mmm,” was about the only answer Wade could manage. He did agree strongly and hoped that was conveyed well enough in his response.
“Don’t break in, next time. Management’s already givin’ me shit about this. Just knock. Or call me.”
“’Kay. I don’t have your number, though.”
“Here, I’ll put it in your phone. Hey, is this the X-Mansion line?”
“Hmm? Yeah, that’s it. Why?”
“I’m gonna give Colossus a call and ask if the X-Fridge is running.”