Chapter Text
Weeks passed by, and February turned into March, Lena’s birthday came and went, and winter faded into spring with a burst of flowers and a turn in the weather. With summer on the horizon, the dark, painful memories of the last year were pushed to the back of everyone’s minds, and aside from the pale scars on the ribs of Kara and Laurel, no one would have even known what had happened. Everything felt perfect, so perfectly normal that Lena found herself becoming a new person once more, not quite the distrustful, cynical teenage mother who’d been brought home like a stray cat, and not quite the anxious, mother who’d learned how to love and trust over the years. She was something else. Unapologetically happy, full to the brim with adoration for her family, and love for her friends - people who she trusted wholeheartedly, and who had been through the worst with her - she found the person that she was when she was in love was agreeable to her.
It was strange to think that she’d thought of herself as a lonely person, condemned to bear the burden of her family’s legacy on her back, watching other people love and be loved while she tried her best to be a good mother to the daughter she’d never asked for, but had loved and protected fiercely. It was strange to wake up in her and Kara’s bed, in their apartment, with Kara’s arm a dead weight across her chest, feeling so content with things as she lingered in bed, under the embrace of the sleeping woman, for as long as she could. There was a simple joy in walking hand-in-hand down the street with her daughter and her girlfriend or playing Uno while they ate pizza in the living room, the three of them laughing as they competitively played round after round. She loved the stolen moments where she took Laurel to the park to ride her bike, or the rare nights that Kara had off work and Alex or Sam took Laurel, and the two of them would go out for dinner and enjoy dates that went marginally better than their first one. There was a simple joy in laughing and knowing that there wasn’t any danger lurking around the corner.
She felt free, wandering the streets without suspicion, breathing in the fresh air as she enjoyed her life in the most uncomplicated manner. In a moment of light-hearted happiness, Lena suggested that they take a vacation. It didn’t take much convincing to get Kara to agree to take two weeks holiday over the summer break, and at the end of May, when the weather was starting to get blisteringly hot, the three of them packed their bags and caught a flight to Florida, making their way to Sanibel Island like they had a few years back, when things had been messy and dangerous and Lena had been afraid.
This time, they flew instead of driving, not needing to worry about the airport being watched, and made their way to the beachfront shacks that they’d stayed in last time. They’d booked the exact same one, the one from Kara’s childhood, and Lena looked at the peeling peach paint and white trim with a fondness. It was more like a fondness for the following two weeks, with the knowledge that this time they’d be able to enjoy themselves completely, without a care in the world, and the thought of making more memories at the place that was so special to Kara. It would be their place now.
As Lena stepped into the cabin, finding it much the same as last time, with the yellow kitchen cupboards, the sagging blue couch and the same round laminate table, scarred with use, she smiled faintly, recalling days spent at the beach, her attempt at fishing, and arguing with Kara. It felt so long ago already. As she looked around, she could envision a younger version of Kara too, around Laurel’s age but hair bleached by the sun and skin golden from hours spent at the beach with her parents, and she turned to look at her, taking in the sad look in Kara’s blue eyes as they swept around the place, remembering those memories. As she met Lena’s eyes, the sadness vanished though and she gave her a bright smile, walking over to her and giving her a quick kiss.
“Beach?”
“Of course,” Lena said, her hand trailing across Kara’s shoulders and back as she brushed past her and dumped their bags on the floor in the bedroom.
They all quickly changed into their bathing suits, grabbed towels, books and sunscreen and were following the well-trodden earthen path between the row of pastel cabins to where the earth gave way to sand and the sea sparkled in the distance beneath an azure sky. Breathing in the briny smell, Lena smiled as she shook her towel out in the shade of a tree bordering the beach and donned a floppy hat, before rubbing lotion on her daughter’s skin and doing the same for Kara.
Within minutes, she found herself alone with the company of a book as she watched Kara chase Laurel right into the arms of the sea, shrieks of delight and surprise drifting towards her as cold water washed over them both. Quietly chuckling to herself, she shook her head and lay back on her elbows, watching them play for a few moments, their hair plastered to their wet skin as they splashed water in each other’s direction and dove beneath the waves.
The first week passed by in a blur of such days, most of their time spent at the beach, going for walks through the small town and visiting wildlife conservation centres and the beach full of little shells, which Laurel collected in a bucket, and Lena felt more relaxed than ever. While not quite tanned, there was a glow about her, a look of restfulness as she strolled down streets at dusk, holding Kara’s hand as they picked a local restaurant to eat at, dining on freshly caught seafood as they sat on the deck overlooking the sea and the stretch of pale sand. They watched the sunset and sat on their front porch, playing cards in the yellow halo of light offered by the porchlight. Kara tried surfing, and Lena taught Laurel what little she remembered about fishing.
She felt like their trip couldn’t get any better. And then it surprised her, one day by the beach, catching her completely unawares as she watched Laurel carefully, making sure that she wasn’t swimming out too far. Kara was sitting beside her and the sky looked like it was on fire, the sun a dazzling yellow as it descended on the cloudless sky. They’d had a slow morning, cooking bacon and eggs in the sunny kitchen, relaxing on the porch all day until they’d decided to come to the beach for the afternoon, and after swimming around in the sea with her daughter, Lena had settled down on her sandy towel to dry off and watch the sunset.
Kara had joined her, leaning back on her elbows as she stretched her tanned legs out before her, looking like she didn’t have a care in the world. Lena eyed the pale scar that spanned her stomach, following the curve of her ribcage and jutting up over her sternum, and a flicker of regret welled up before she quickly pushed it aside. It wasn’t a day for sad thoughts; she was here with the woman she loved, and the daughter she loved above all else, and they were safe and happy. There was nothing else she cared about, nothing else that she wanted.
Until Kara turned to look at her, her blue eyes intense all of a sudden and shifted into an upright sitting position as she reached for the bag they’d brought with them. Enjoying the lingering warmth offered up by the sinking sun, Lena closed her eyes and tilted her head back, her dark, salt-stained hair tumbling down past her shoulders, and she let out a sigh of contentedness, listening to the quiet sound of Kara rummaging through the bag.
“I, um, I have something for you,” Kara softly interrupted her, and Lena peered through half-lidded eyes to find her forehead creasing with worry as she pulled something out of the beach bag, before shuffling closer to Lena. Pushing herself up into a sitting position as well, Lena found Kara sitting on her knees before her, face to face with her.
Extending her cupped hands, she presented the little square, velvet box to her with an apprehensive look on her face. Lena’s eyes widened, giving her an owlish look as she blinked in surprise. A ring box typically usually meant one thing, and her stomach lurched as she quickly glanced up to meet Kara’s eyes. Giving her a nervous smile, Kara flipped the lid up to reveal the ring nestled in the velvet folds of the fabric inside. It was a pear-shaped emerald, the green deep and dark and rich in the sunlight, surrounded by sparkling diamonds and set on a gold band.
Sitting in silence for a moment, Lena reached out to take the ring from the box, holding it delicately between her thumb and forefinger as she watched it wink in the sunshine as her breath caught in her throat. “Which finger is it for?” she eventually asked.
“Whichever one you want it to be for,” Kara softly replied.
Lena gave her a playful smile, pretending to put it on all of her fingers before she slipped it onto her ring finger. “I think it fits this one best,” she quietly said, looking up at Kara and seeing the gleam of happiness in her blue eyes. Hesitating for a moment, Lena slipped the ring back off and set it back into the box, before slowly shutting the lid and cupping Kara’s hands with her own. “But … I can’t wear it yet.”
“Oh.”
She winced slightly at the hurt that flickered in Kara’s eyes, memories of being rejected rising to the surface again, gently pulling her hands out of Lena’s grip. Lena lunged forward in her desperation to placate her, to smooth over the wounded pride, and she quickly took Kara’s hands in her own again and squeezed softly, rubbing her thumb over the bumps of Kara’s knuckles as her eyes crinkled slightly at the corners and a small smile curled her lips.
“No, no. It’s not- just, give me a minute to explain. Let me show you first.”
A wariness dawned on Kara’s face, and a crinkle formed between her eyebrows as she looked up at Lena, who was quickly scrambling to her feet. Extending a hand, Lena gave her an encouraging look and Kara slowly slipped her hand into hers, allowing herself to be pulled to her feet. The sunset was in full display, the sky painted red and pink and orange, and Lena was almost sad to put an end to the perfect tranquillity of the moment, silently cursing herself as she bundled up sandy towels, while Kara packed up their bag.
“Laurel! Come on, we need to go home, baby,” she called out to her daughter, who was frolicking in the nearby shallows, a snorkel and goggles pulled on as she tried to find fishes in the clear water.
Complaining, her daughter’s shoulders slumped as she splashed out of the sea and trudged up to where her mother was, scowling and covered in sand. Sighing, Lena gave her a stern look, her heart beating quickly in her chest, and wrapped one of the towels she held around her daughter’s thin shoulders.
In silence, the three of them walked back up the sandy path leading towards their faded cabin, and although the tension was thick in the air and Kara brooded nervously, Lena couldn’t help but find the evening peaceful. The sky was darkening ahead of them, the sun sinking lower and lower behind them, and the cabins were plunged into shadow as they quietly crunched sand beneath their feet, walking past damp surfboards and a solitary man scaling fish on the bowed wooden steps of his own cabin. The air smelled of the sea and the lingering heat of the day and Lena found her body thrumming with anticipation as she quickly led them back to their own cabin.
Her feet were loud on the wooden steps as she hurried up them, pulling open the squeaky screen door and jamming her key in the door, nudging it open with her shoulder and stepping into the dim room. She stood aside for Kara and Laurel to come in after her, and sent her daughter off to shower, while she made her way towards the bedroom. Fishing through her belongings, she pulled out a plain manila folder and held it out in front of her as she walked back into the kitchen, where Kara was sitting in a fold-out chair at the round table, toying with the ring box on the laminate surface.
Holding onto the folder tightly, Lena walked towards her and took the seat closest to Kara’s around the round table, before letting out a pent up breath. She kept the folder in her lap, hands gripping it tightly, and gave Kara a wan smile.
“You know that I love you,” she started, struggling to find the words, “but you know that I have to put Laurel first. I always have.”
“I know, and I’m not asking you not to do that.”
Quietly laughing, Lena shook her head as she smiled, “I know you’re not. But … I’m asking you to.”
“I do. You know that I do. The first time we met, I made the decision to bring you home with me because of her. I couldn’t let you sleep on the streets with a newborn baby,” Kara said, a dark look crossing her face. “I think about how it’ll affect her whenever I think about us. I know you’ve always worried about how being with someone else might make things more difficult for Laurel if it ends badly, but … I’m not going anywhere, Lena. I think I just made that overwhelmingly clear. Well, I had hoped to, but-”
Expression softening, Lena smiled and opened the folder, pulling out a few pieces of paper stapled together and setting it down on the table. Kara trailed off as she looked at the paper, reaching out for it as she met Lena’s gaze.
“What’s this?”
“I had Alex help me with it,” Lena said, her voice trembling slightly as she swallowed her nervousness. “I know you’re not going anywhere. I don’t want you to. And there was something my mom said the last time I saw her, that Laurel was the very best of me, and it’s been stuck in my mind for weeks now, because I’m cynical and stubborn, and I can be cold and selfish. But you, you’re warm and impossibly kind, constantly full of love and you radiate happiness, just like her. So she might be the best of me, but she’s all of you, and … she deserves a mom like you.”
Kara’s eyes had softened as Lena spoke, but as the brunette finished talking, a look of bewilderment crossed her face, until she finally looked down at the paper she held in her hand. Her eyes quickly scanned the front page, before her mouth opened and closed quickly and she looked back up at Lena speechless and with wide eyes.
“It’s a petition for adoption,” Lena hesitantly said.
“Adoption?” Kara numbly mumbled.
“Alex's been helping me with an adoption lawyer. We- we can submit this if you- well if you wanted to be Laurel's mom. I mean, you’ve been a mom to her since the day she was born,” Lena quietly said, shrugging slightly as a wry smile curled one side of her mouth, “I want to be all in with you, Kara. I don’t want you to think that one day I’m going to leave and take her with me, because she’s might be mine but she’s always been yours too . So before I make my decision, I need you to decide if this is what you want, because-”
“Do you have a pen?” Kara blurted out, rifling through the forms as her blonde hair spilled around her face.
“Wha-”
“A pen. So I can sign the papers.”
Lena made a small choked sound, her eyes stinging slightly as tears threatened to form, and she felt her heart swell with love, quickly scrambling to her feet as she rubbed the back of her hand across her eyes. Gently clearing her throat as a lump formed, she walked over to the TV stand, where a complimentary legal pad and a pen lay, and grabbed the ballpoint before walking back over to the table and handing it to Kara. With a flourish, Kara signed her name on the bottom, flipping through the pages until all the blank dotted lines bore her signature before she closed the papers and neatly tucked them into the manila folder.
The legs of her chair scraped along the floor as she pushed her chair back, and Lena took a step back from the table, where she’d stood and watched Kara sign the papers, and found herself face to face with the blonde. Holding the black box in her hand, Kara flipped the lid open and held it out slowly, her eyes shining slightly as if she was about to cry too.
“You were always a package deal,” Kara said, her voice slightly hoarse as gave Lena a loving look, “I wouldn’t want you without her.”
Reaching out, Lena took the box from her extended hand and pulled the ring out of it, snapping the lid shut and holding the band between her fingers as they fading light seeping in through the shutters just managed to make the emerald and diamonds sparkle.
“I think there’s a question that usually accompanies a ring like this,” Lena said with amusement, her eyes shining as she looked at Kara.
Moving in close, Kara gently took the ring from her and took her left hand in her own, her fingers strong and warm against Lena’s skin, and she smiled, her eyes crinkling slightly at the corners. “Will you marry me?”
Laughing, Lena leant forward as she brought a hand up to cup Kara’s cheek, pressing a featherlight kiss against her lips as she smiled. “Yes,” she murmured against her lips, “yes, yes, of course.”
Kara firmly kissed her back, her fingers threading through Lena’s salt-stained mess of hair, and Lena could feel her smiling into it, before she pulled back, their foreheads resting against each other’s as they laughed. With clumsy eagerness, the fumbled with their hands, until Kara was holding Lena’s in her hand and slid the ring home on her left hand, before raising it to her lips and pressing a soft kiss to the back of it.
“Mommy?”
They pulled apart with a fright before they both looked towards the girl wrapped in a towel, dripping onto the floor as she left a trail of wet footprints out of the bathroom. Lena quickly stepped towards her, biting back a sigh even as she smiled. “I’ll get you your pyjamas now.”
In the bedroom, Lena couldn’t stop smiling as she went through the bag she’d packed for Laurel, pulling out pyjamas for her and rubbing her daughter’s hair dry with the towel, while she sat patiently on the edge of the bed in her nightdress. Kneeling in front of her, Lena pulled back and gave her a bright smile, running a hand through her daughter’s curls before pulling back. The ring on her finger didn’t go unnoticed by Laurel, who reached out to gently touch it.
“It’s pretty. Who gave you that?”
Smiling, Lena fiddled with the ring, glancing down at it before she looked up into her daughter’s dark eyes. “Kara did,” she slowly said, trying to find the words to explain. They’d already explained to her about their relationship, and of course, she’d taken it with her usual excited manner, but this was slightly different. “You know how mommy and Kara love each other very much?”
“Yes.”
“Well, we’re going to get married,” Lena said, wrinkling her nose slightly as she smiled.
Her daughter drummed her feet against the bed frame, brow wrinkling slightly as she gave Lena a serious look. “Does that mean I get two mom’s?”
“Oh, well, I mean-,” she glanced over her shoulder and found Kara leaning against the doorframe, an amused look on her face as she nodded slightly. Turning back to her daughter, Lena held her hand in her own and gave her a warm smile, “yes, you will.”
Kara walked into the room and sat down on the bed beside the little girl, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, “but you don’t- you don’t have to call me mom if you don’t want to. You can just call me Kara.”
“Oh, okay.”
They dropped the topic after that, and they went out onto the porch, where Kara grilled hotdogs and burgers on the small portable barbeque that occupied one end of their deck. The sky was dark, the stars sprinkled across the sky and a silver crescent moon luminous against the velvety night sky, and they ate burgers around the tiny folding table while they lounged in their deck chairs. Lena carried the dishes in afterwards and left them in the sink, before heading back out onto the porch.
“Mom?”
“Yes, baby,” Lena said, making her way back over to her chair.
Her daughter let out a light laugh, her eyes crinkling as she gave her mother a gap-toothed smile, “not you , silly, my other mom.”
She turned towards Kara, who blinked with surprise before realisation dawned on her and she looked at Lena, who was sitting there with a stunned look of amusement on her face. She bit back a smile as she gave Kara an encouraging nod, watching as the blonde straightened up in her seat, chest puffed up slightly as she beamed.
“Yeah?”
“Can we play cards?”
“Oh. Yeah. Yes, of course we can, sweetheart,” Kara said, looking pleased with herself as she produced a pack of weathered cards and they decided on Go Fish .
A rusted radio played bluegrass music and there was a warmth around them as they played cards and chatted, laughing and exclaiming whenever someone took one of their cards, a bubble of happiness enclosing them. Staring down at her hand, she thought back to that first night, all those years ago, when Kara had taken her home and told her she could stay a while, and a slow smile spread across her face as she looked from her daughter to her fianceé, realising that she was staying a bit longer than expected. As she glanced down at the ring on her finger, Lena knew that it would be just the three of them, and she wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.