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He follows him like always.
"Hey, Tsukki?"
"…"
"Tsukki, Tsukki."
"What is it, Yamaguchi."
"Oh, um, I have something to tell you."
"And?" Don’t.
"Can we stop here? So I can tell you?"
"…" Getting your hopes up doesn’t work out.
"Well—I—You see."
"Hurry up. The coach will nag if we’re late." The higher you are, the harsher you fall.
A deep breath. “T-Tsukki, I l-like you.”
"…Pathetic." Fuck.
"Ah."
He stops following.
Surprisingly, the first to notice isn’t one of the upperclassmen, but Kageyama.
He first notices because when he and Hinata get into their daily bicker of practice, there’s a distinct lack of the judging taunts that normally come their way. Sugawara comes by to stop them, and Kageyama gives the older setter a questioning look—he gets a pause, and then a shrug. From there on, it spreads like wildfire: Kageyama points it out to Hinata, who then spreads it to Nishinoya and Yachi, while Sugawara gives The Look to Daichi, who then points it out to all of the other upperclassmen, the coach, and the teacher. Soon, the entire team is trying (and failing) to hide their whispers and glances—that is, the entire team except Yamaguchi and Tsukishima.
Normally, this wouldn’t be any point of real interest. Normally, the lanky blocker would make some smartass comment, then the freckled pinch hitter would giggle, and then the two would share smug smirks.
Today, however, Tsukishima is completely stoic: no shit-eating grins, no stage-whispered taunts, nothing. His only expression for the entire practice has been the scowl he used to wear whenever Hinata and Kageyama tried particularly hard during practice, before the summer training camp.
The team thought that the era of that scowl had passed, but even all of that normally wouldn’t have been too worrying. Normally, the underclassmen would try to piss off the sulky player, the upperclassmen and adults would try to say something motivating to him. Then, ultimately, the team would let it go and let Yamaguchi do his work and bring Tsukishima back to his normal, horrible self with a few (or many) concerned, “Tsukki!”s and so on.
But no, the current situation isn’t normal. This situation requires the full attention of the team.
No, what’s really concerning this time around, is that Yamaguchi is the one ignoring Tsukishima.
"How come Yamaguchi’s not ‘Tsukki’-ing like he always is?" Hinata whispers to Kageyama as they pick up scattered volleyballs.
"I dunno," Kageyama whispers back. They pause to side eye the other first year duo.
"Hinata! Kageyama! Focus!" comes the shout from across the gym, followed by the deceptively happy smile on Daichi’s face.
"YESSIR!"
The two scurry back to their practice positions. Yamaguchi glances over, but quickly turns his attention back to serving to Nishinoya—and away from Tsukishima. Tsukishima doesn’t even bat an eye at the quick duo.
Daichi hears his own sigh echoed beside him. “What do you think happened?”
Sugawara gives the same shrug to Daichi that he did to Kageyama. “I wish I knew. I don’t think any of us expected this,” he whispers. He hmms, and then adds, “But maybe it’s for the best.”
Daichi raises an eyebrow at that, but then chuckles. “I see, I see. You might be right.”
He and Sugawara turn their attention back to Tsukishima, only to see the first year scowling even harder. Both upperclassmen share a sudden drop in hope.
"Maybe. Maybe they’ll need some help," Sugawara says. Daichi nods.
That “help” is soon delivered by lieu of Nishinoya’s lack of a mental filter.
"Hey, Yamaguchi, why aren’t you all over Tsukishima today?" Nishinoya asks from under an armful of nets. Yamaguchi yipes and Yachi squeaks. All sounds of cleanup screech to a halt, and the entire gym sucks in a deep breath. Somewhere from the direction of Tanaka comes a much-quieter-than-normal wisp of what sounds like, "You dumbass."
Yamaguchi looks away and mumbles something that nobody can hear in the deafening silence. Nishinoya tilts his head in confusion before dumping the nets in their cart.
"Whadja’ say?" the libero prods.
Yamaguchi start spinning the volleyball in his shaking hands. “J-just, it’s just one of those,” he stutters. “Y’know. Yeah.” His voice takes on a harder edge as he finishes speaking, something reminiscent of the person of his avoidance.
Nishinoya joins the rest of the team in staring at the freckled player. His face scrunches up like he’s just been handed a math exam, but then a grin covers his face. “Ahahhh, I get it! It’s OK, all couples get into fights now and then. You guys are just coming out of the honeymoon phase, that’s all!”
Yamaguchi stiffens and shakes his head. “He just. Tsu-Tsukishima and I need some space, that’s all.”
And that’s when all hell breaks loose.
Nishinoya is smacked into the ground by a spiked volleyball, Asahi screams, Yachi shrieks, Takeda dives for the first aid kit and misses, Kiyoko calmly picks it up in his place, Ukai yanks the teacher up back on his feet, Tanaka and Kageyama get swatted by Daichi and Sugawara, and Hinata and Yamaguchi and the rest of the team swarm around their fallen comrade.
Meanwhile, Tsukishima finishes his clean-up duties, gets changed, slings his bag on, and heads out of the gym.
He knows he screwed up, he really does.
"I didn’t mean it."
"I panicked."
"I’m sorry."
"I like you too."
He can’t say any of those right now.
The next day, things are even worse.
Hinata leans over to Kageyama during set up. “Hey… Is it just me, or does Yamaguchi look really,” he fumbles for the right word, “Really—really Tsukishima-ish?” The first and second years peek over at the normally friendly—if teasing—player and all come to the conclusion that yes, that apathetic scowl certainly does not look native to his face.
"Now that you mention it…" Yachi whispers furtively. "Doesn’t Tsukishima look really Yamaguchi-ish today? Like a lost puppy." Normally, the oddball duo—and everyone else on the team—would choke at the idea of Tsukishima the abandoned stray, but today, they’re apparently still stuck in the alternate world where Yamaguchi is Tsukishima and Tsukishima is Yamaguchi. The bespectacled boy’s scowl from yesterday has waned into a sulking sort of grimace, the kind that spreads to others if they stare for too long.
Squinting hard at the bespectacled boy, Nishinoya says loudly, “I dunno, looks more like a lost cat to me.” The group quickly “Shhhhh”s him before either of the separated pair notices.
"You’ve gotta point there," Sugawara says from behind the group. They startle, then sidle over to make room for him. Tanaka releases Nishinoya from the headlock he had him under. "Like a cat with too much pride to make up with his owner."
"Well damn, he must’ve really clawed Yamaguchi up," Tanaka whistles. "Didn’t think I’d ever hear Yamaguchi say Tsukishima normally." The others nod in agreement.
Hinata shudders. “Maybe we should leave them alone some more. Getting caught up in that is so… Gwaaaah,” he finishes off with his arms around his stomach. Kageyama hesitates for a second, and then pats his head in both pity and agreement.
"Maybe…" Sugawara sighs, meeting Daichi’s eyes from across the gym. He shrugs once again—he feels like he’s been doing that a lot lately—and gets a shrug in return. "We’ll see what happens."
And so, practice starts with a lack of “Tsukki!”s for the second time since the first years joined the club.
He knows it’s not because he doesn’t care.
He would be fine if he didn’t.
It wouldn’t hurt this badly if he really didn’t care.
He cares too fucking much and now it feels like there’s a black hole where stars used to be and this is exactly why he chose apathy as his armor all those years ago.
But now that heavy armor is dragging him down and he can’t even see the stars past the visor, much less chase after them.
"…Pathetic."
He really is.
By the third day, the entire club is so preoccupied with The Great Yamaguchi-Tsukishima Split—capitalization necessary—that Daichi and Ukai give up on the practice schedule and opt for open gym instead.
"Men. Women. Everybody here. We have a serious problem," Tanaka solemnly says, squatting down in a circle with the rest of the club members—sans Yamaguchi and Tsukishima, of course. Ukai and Takeda stand beside them, with Takeda fretting here and there and Ukai trying to massage away the migraine he feels coming on. The others are in varying stages of panic and exasperation. Even the level-headed Kiyoko has a wrinkle between her brow.
"I think those two need a push," Daichi says.
"But what?"
The team ponders in silence. Nishinoya can see Yamaguchi looking over at them. He scrunches his face up and thinks even harder.
"Ahah!" Nishinoya bursts up and exclaims. Tsukishima breaks out of his sad spell for a moment to glare at the libero. "I got it!" Nishinoya grabs Tanaka and Asahi down by their collars and starts jabbering rapidly to them while the others stare in confusion. Tanaka comes out of it with a devilish grin that matches Nishinoya’s, while angelic Asahi rapidly loses all color from his face.
"Nishinoya," Daichi begins.
"Hm?"
"What are you planning?"
“Hehe, just wait and see!”
Daichi and Ukai end up with matching migraines. Sugawara and Takeda give them their condolences.
Thus, the third day of the Yamaguchi-Tsukishima split comes to an end.
He hates to admit it, but right now, he really envies idiots like Kageyama and Hinata.
They barrel on ahead, the king and and the sun, loud as hell but without restraint or regret.
Meanwhile, he has no light of his own, and his eyesight’s already bad as is.
He did have stars to guide him, but now they’re gone and he’s just realizing how dark it is without them.
The next day, Yamaguchi is ambushed by Tanaka and Nishinoya and tossed into the storage closet before practice. Asahi soon follows with Tsukishima in tow, whom the second years quickly shove in before slamming the door shut.
Click.
"Alright, mission complete!" Nishinoya cheers, Kiyoko’s keys jangling in hand. A sudden barrage of bangs from the other side of the door makes him jump.
"What are you doing? Let us out!" Yamaguchi’s voice is muffled by the door.
"Nope, can’t do that, sorry!" Nishinoya calls back.
"You guys can come out after you kiss and make up!" Tanaka jokingly yells out.
The banging on the door comes to a sudden stop.
"You guys…" Daichi says slowly. The entire team gathers around the storage closet with bated breath. All is silent inside and outside of the storage closet. Ennoshita yawns, only to be shushed by Kinoshita and Narita.
Then, the crowd hears a whispered conversation start, followed by louder comments thrown back and forth, until suddenly—
CRASH!
"Oh shi-" Nishinoya begins to say before Sugawara yanks the keys out of his hand and shoves the right one into the lock. As soon as he swings the door open, Daichi and Asahi rush in to pull the two fighters apart except-
There may be equipment knocked over and scattered about, and Tsukishima may be on top of Yamaguchi with a choke-hold on his shirt, but the two definitely are not fighting. They’re apart just enough for the intruders to see that Tsukishima has regained the usual sharpness to his expression—plus a dark red flush—and that Yamaguchi’s freckles are nearly invisible against his blush.
Asahi covers his burning face with his hands, Daichi freezes, and Sugawara merely says, “Oh,” before shooing back the other club members who are trying to peek into the closet.
Daichi clears his throat. “Glad to see you guys are OK again.” Tsukishima glares. “Well. Just. Head back to practice once you’ve gotten everything straightened out.” The captain plasters on a smile before adding, “You guys will make up for all the trouble you caused later.” He and the others back out of the closet, slowly shutting the door as they go.
The team collectively lets out a sigh of relief once the door’s closed.
"Hehe, everything worked out, didn’t it?" Nishinoya grins.
"Nishinoya…"
"What? I mean, at least they weren’t fucking, right?"
"A lap around the school. Now."
"Huh?"
"Tanaka, you too. 2 laps. Go."
"YESSIR!"
"…"
"…"
"Why did you have to say it."
"What?"
"Why did you have to say that?"
"…I won’t say that I’m sorry you got confessed to by someone as pathetic as me.”
"That’s not what I meant."
"Then what did you mean?!"
"What else was I supposed to say?"
"Anything but that! You could’ve just turned me down normally, like you did with all those girls!"
"But I don’t want to."
"What? Am I so pathetic that a normal rejection isn’t enou-"
A crash, and suddenly Tsukishima’s on top of Yamaguchi and their teeth clink together but then their lips meet and-
"I don’t want to reject you, damn it. I fucked up, I’m sorry."
Finally, things are back to normal during practice. Or at least, almost.
"Tsukki, Tsukki!"
"…What is it, Tadashi?"
And so, the gym erupts into chaos once again.
"Ya-" A pause. "Tadashi."
"Hmm?" A blush. "What is it, Tsukki?"
"…ove you."
"Huh?"
"…I like you too."
And then a kiss.
Someday he’ll say it. But for now, the stars are back with the moon, and they’re shining brighter than ever, and that’s enough.