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“Dean, I have a problem,” Cas stated, walking into Dean's room unannounced.
“Cas? What did I tell you about knocking?” Dean groaned.
“This problem seems rather important.”
Dean sighed and looked up from his laptop.
“This isn't something I felt I should bother Sam with. While close, were not as close as you and I are, Dean,” Cas prefaced, undoing his pants.
“Cas...” Dean drawled. “What are you doing?”
Cas pushed down his pants and left himself standing in his underwear. He gestured to the tented bulge in between his legs. “My penis keeps doing that. And I can't make it go away.”
Dean widened his eyes at the angel and swallowed nervously. “Yeah, that happens.”
“How do I make this stop?” Cas asked. “It's happening at very inconvenient times.”
“It's called an erection, Cas.” Dean stated. “Would you pull your pants up?”
Cas pulled his pants back up and kept waiting for more of an explanation.
“Just uh-go jack off or something,” Dean said.
“What's that?”
Dean scoffed. “Don't tell me that in all your years, you've never heard of touching your own dick?”
“Oh, you mean masturbating?”
Dean nodded. "Yeah.”
“What is the proper technique for masturbation, would you say?”
Dean groaned and ran his hands down his face. “I should not having this conversation with you.”
Cas frowned. “Would you prefer I ask your brother?”
“No!” Dean exclaimed. “You gotta just play around, see what feels good.”
“Can you show me?”
“No.” Dean laughed. “You really need to learn boundaries.”
“Dean, there's not many people I can ask for help with this,” Cas replied. “I'm having issues related to things of a sexual nature and you're the most sexual person I know. Who better to ask?”
“Literally anyone else,” Dean said. “This is exactly how to make things weird and awkward with your best friend. You can't just walk up to someone with your dick out like it's nothing.”
“My dick's not out though,” Cas stated. “I just have an erection.”
“Which you generally do not announce to people.”
Cas fastened his pants again and headed to the door. “I'm sorry. I just wanted advice on a human problem.”
Cas walked over to the door and opened it.
“Okay, listen.” Dean sighed and turned towards him. “You gotta just like get your hand on your dick like this. And move it up and down like this.”
Dean made motions with his hand in the air. “And you just gotta do that over and over and faster until you–you know–come.”
“Where am I coming?” Cas asked. “In here for further instructions?”
Dean laughed. “No it's slang. Please don't come in here. Just keep doing that motion until you ejaculate.”
Cas nodded. “Thanks, Dean. That seems simple.”
“It really is,” Dean replied, smiling awkwardly and blushing.
Cas shut the door on his way out. Dean exhaled slowly and moved the laptop off his lap, staring at his own arousal. He would be lying if he said he didn't occasionally fantasize about Cas, but on principle, he refused to get off while thinking about him. It'd make things weird. Or weirder.
He massaged himself through his pants and tried to think about anything else. He wasn't going to think about Cas sitting on the edge of his bed with his legs open and pants unzipped touching himself. He wasn't going to think about Cas's panting and deep moans. He wasn't going to think about Cas dripping precome onto his pants. He wasn't going to think about Cas muttering profanities as he got closer and closer to coming. He wasn't going to think about the way he'd whimper and arch his back as he experienced the sensation of his first orgasm. And Dean definitely wasn't going to think about how when Cas finally came, he'd be loud and moan and whine and shoot come so hard that it got all over the carpeting in front of the bed, the sexual frustration of not having an orgasm in ten years letting itself out.
Dean moaned quietly and ground his hand against his pants. He quickly withdrew his hand, telling himself he couldn’t think about Cas like that. His dick twitched inside his pants and he grimaced. It wasn’t that Dean was even that into guys, but every once in a while he’d meet a man and all he wanted was to get fucked by him. It was an odd thought the first time it ran through his mind that he looked a man and wanted to get pounded against a wall by him, but at this rate, he was used to having graphically sexual thoughts about the occasional guy.
While Dean’s imagination was nice, it was far from the truth. Cas was far more frustrated than relieved. He was indeed sitting on the edge of his bed with his pants pulled down to his knees, but it was not the grand experience he expected it to be. He followed the motions Dean said, stroking himself up and down and up and down, but nothing seemed to be building up. It felt nice granted, but he didn’t want nice. He wanted to experience what so many humans talked about as one of their favorite things ever–a successful orgasm. He kept stroking and rubbing, but nothing seemed to get better.
Cas eventually got frustrated enough that he stopped trying and just put his pants back on, erection and all. He barged back into Dean’s room and startled him. Dean set his laptop back on his lap and gave him a glare.
“Cas. Knocking,” he stated.
“Right, sorry,” Cas muttered. “I keep forgetting.”
“Not to be blunt, but are you about to tell me you didn’t jerk off right?” Dean asked.
Cas looked down at his bulging pants. “Yes. I did what you said, but nothing’s happening.”
“Define nothing,” Dean said.
“I mean, I keep touching my penis, but it just feels like touching my penis. It doesn’t feel that good, or like I’m achieving anything,” Cas stated. “There is supposed to be some kind of build up to an orgasm, is there not?”
“Show me what you’re doing,” Dean replied.
Cas reached for his pants.
“No!” Dean yelled. “With your hand. Just your hand.”
Cas replicated the motions and Dean hummed. “That’s really what you should be doing. I can’t think of why you wouldn’t be getting any results. What are you thinking about?”
“Like right now or?”
“No.” Dean stammered and stuttered over the thoughts in his head. He really shouldn't be having this conversation, but Cas kind of had a point when he said that no one else would. “Like when you're touching your dick? Are you think about something hot or doing taxes?”
“I'm mostly thinking about technique,” Cas answered.
“Fuck the technique,” Dean replied. “Your hand will just do what it wants. Don't think about technique. Think about sexy.”
“Like what?”
Dean shrugged. “Whatever you think is hot. I mean what gets you hard in the first place? Think about that.”
“I don't think about anything to become aroused,” Cas replied. “It just happens.”
“Think about a really attractive chick. Or dude. You know, whichever you're into,” Dean said. “And just think about them naked and you're fucking them and they're moaning and you're moaning and it's messy and wet and gross but like, hot gross.”
Cas stared at him. “I don't think that will work because there's no one I'm attracted to like that.”
“Look at porn,” Dean said. “You can borrow my laptop.”
Dean opened up a porn website and showed Cas the photo gallery. “See, plenty of dicks and vag's to look at.”
“But the human form itself does nothing for me,” Cas stated.
“Something has to make you get off,” Dean sighed.
Cas stared back down and groaned. “I don't think I'm ever going to get this.”
“Why don't you just take my laptop and try again?” Dean suggested. “Maybe something will pop out at you and you'll be surprised. Or maybe just not focusing so much will be the trick.”
Dean closed the laptop lid and held it in his lap.
“What do you think of?” Cas asked. “When you masturbate.”
“That's a personal question.” Dean laughed awkwardly.
“You don't have to answer,” Cas said.
“No, I will. I just need a second to think.” Dean bit his lip and tried to organize his thoughts. “What gets me going is thinking about people I want to have sex with, and I just picture us going at it hot and heavy. Or I'll think of someone I already fucked and just replay that over and over, which I know isn't an option for you, since you're a virgin and all, but it's worth mentioning. Maybe just put on a video and pretend you're the one fucking the girl or something.”
“Maybe you should do it for me?” Cas asked.
“What?” Dean stared at him with his mouth open.
“I don't know what I'm doing,” Cas stated. “You do,”
“No. Sorry, no.” Dean shook his head vehemently. “This is already weird to be talking about. I'm definitely not touching your hard dick.”
“Maybe it's what I need though,” Cas replied. “I'd know what it's supposed to feel like for the future. It wouldn't be weird to me, Dean. And I wouldn't tell Sam.”
“It's not that I don't want to help you shoot a load, buddy, but I can't,” Dean replied. “People always say it's not going to make things weird, but it does. It always does.”
Cas looked dejected and sighed. “I'll try the porn thing. It's okay.”
Cas walked over and took the laptop off Dean's lap, but didn't try to cover up the fact he was staring at Dean's hard-on. Dean almost got it down, but it came back with a vengeance when Cas asked if Dean would do it for him.
“You have an erection, too.”
Dean flushed. “It happens sometimes. Generally, you shouldn't point it out to people.”
“Would it still be weird if I watched you masturbate?” Cas asked.
Dean let out a shaky breath and stared at him. "Extremely.”
“Okay.” Cas left the room with Dean's laptop and went back to his own room.
He sat down and opened up to the porn website Dean had up. While exploring the videos section, Cas saw a button that said "Watch History". He clicked on it and it pulled up a page of thumbnails and titles. He clicked on the first one with a subtitle that read, “Last watched three days ago.”
Cas didn't see how any video would give him the arousal he needed, but if a video helped Dean orgasm, maybe it could help him do it, too.
Cas undid his pants and watched the video with curiosity. It was a rather dramatic video and he understood the logic of why most people would find it stimulating.
Cas watched as the woman in the video touched herself and moaned. It seemed typical enough, but did nothing for him, not for lack of effort. He pushed and pulled and tugged and twisted and nothing felt good enough.
The video kept playing, and he realized the video wasn't as straightforward as he thought.
“I can't!” the woman cried, flicking her fingers faster. “I can't hold it!”
Cas assumed she was referencing being unable not to orgasm anymore, but a spray of urine dodged her fingers and almost in a mist, fell on the sheets in front of her. And every few upstrokes of her finger, it would happen again. The woman got louder and more frequent with her moans, which Cas took as an indication of her proximity to orgasm. After a couple seconds, the woman kept her finger in one place, just moved it around that same location. She cried out over and over, and sent a steady stream over the edge of the bed and onto the floor. Cas didn't understand why she would purposely empty the contents of her bladder onto the floor while trying to have an orgasm, especially not when toilets existed. He wondered how this played any role in Dean's personal masturbation habits.
And then Cas felt it. That electric tingle that went through his body. It made sense. Dean was the answer. He was someone who was both physically attractive and attractive in the sense that Cas wanted to be around him. Cas's cock flexed in his hand and he looked down at it and smiled.
Cas shut his eyes and thought about Dean, finally feeling himself rushing towards that magical moment. His thoughts of Dean shifted to a sexual curiosity as he pictured Dean sitting on his bed in his outfit from three days ago, pleasuring himself to this video. Cas didn't put any effort into being discrete or quiet. Dean knew what he was doing in there anyway.
Cas touched himself and breathed shakily as he built himself up. Imaginary Dean moaned and whined like he was and Cas wanted so bad to see it in person, too. Cas knocked the laptop to the side and bent forward, crying out as he finally experienced it. Every bit of energy in his body felt like it rushed to his dick and he watched with euphoric joy as come shot past his hand and fell onto the floor. He kept going and kept touching himself, picturing Dean doing the same thing. He let out his final release to the mental image of Dean sitting with his pants wet and stained and from ejaculate.
Across the hall, Dean focused intently on the sounds he heard coming from Cas's room: every moan and whimper and "Oh, fuck.” that fell from his mouth.
“Fuck it,” Dean whispered, falling forward onto all fours and using one hand to pull himself out of his pants. With just a few strokes, Dean came onto the blankets of the bed. He should have used a tissue or napkin or something, but he couldn't even bring himself to care if he made a mess.
Dean hung his head in half exhaustion and half shame, having gone against his personal rule of not jacking it to Castiel. He stared at the pile of come sitting underneath him and fell backwards into a sitting position again. He tucked himself back into his pants right as the door swung open.
“I did it!” Cas announced. “Sorry, I know. I should have knocked.”
“Congratulations,” Dean said.
“On an unrelated note, how do you get semen out of a carpeted floor?”
Dean made a choking laughing noise and smiled at him. “Just wipe it up and scrub.”
“Thank you, Dean,” Cas said. “I wouldn't have gotten it without you.”
Dean shrugged nonchalantly.
“I have a question though,” Cas stated.
“Is it going to be invasive and uncomfortable to answer?” Dean asked.
Cas nodded.
“Perfect.”
“So why do you like to watch videos of women urinating on the floor?”
Dean made another choking noise. “What now?”
“The porn website you showed me had a history page. It said the last video you watched was a woman pleasuring herself and urinating while doing so,” Cas explained.
Dean sighed. “You wouldn't understand, Cas. My ex-girlfriend got me into it. She was into a lot of things. Some of them stuck on me. A lot of people like to watch other people piss. It's normal. Kind of.”
“Oh, okay. I don't understand it, but I can support it,” Cas said.
“You can't tell Sam anything, okay?” Dean replied. “Don't tell him we ever had this conversation. And for his sake, please don't ask him about your dick.”
“Got it.”
A few months later, Dean and Cas were headed to a hunt in El Paso. Dean quickly pulled the car over and undid his seatbelt.
“Are you okay?” Cas asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just gotta piss, and I don’t think I have a bottle around anywhere,” he answered, going around to the passenger side of the car. He opened the back door and Cas’s. “Sorry, I just don’t want to get arrested for public indecency here.”
Dean exhaled shakily and undid his belt.
“Can I watch?”
“What?” Dean stared at him and furrowed his brows. “Why?”
“I want to understand,” Cas said. “I want to know what fascinates you about urination.”
Dean looked at him for a moment and then shook his head. “I don’t fucking care, honestly. Watch if you want. I gotta go.”
Cas peered around the car door and watched as Dean unzipped his pants. Cas wasn’t entirely sure that he didn’t jump the gun on relieving himself a little by how splatters went all across the dirt when he pulled himself from his pants. Dean aimed his stream downhill where it foamed and circled, quickly running down the side of the shoulder. He moaned quietly in relief and stood there, legs spread apart but steady against the side of the car.
Cas didn’t understand, still. He wanted to, he really did, but he didn’t understand why Dean found urination videos so enticing. And real life was so much more vivid than videos, and he still didn’t get it. All the up close detail was there: the sound such an intense stream made, the way the dirt had an indent in it from the force, Dean’s moan-like breathing, the genuine relief. Yet, his opinion on urination hadn’t evolved much from finding it a tedious requirement of humanity.
Dean finished and casually gave his dick a small shake, little droplets flying off. He shut the doors again and walked back around to his side. Cas realized that, maybe it did something for him, though, when it was Dean. His pants were tenting outward. He quickly adjusted himself so his arousal wasn’t visible before Dean sat back down.
“Sorry,” Dean said again. “I thought we’d be good until the next gas station, but I misjudged.”
“I don’t mind,” Cas replied, both of them buckling back in.
“Have any epiphanies?” Dean asked, carefully pulling back onto the highway.
“No,” Cas answered. “I still don’t understand why it appeals to you.”
Dean shrugged. “Just does. Though honestly, I don’t think I’d have ever understood what was so great about people pissing on each other either, if I hadn’t have tried it for myself first.
“Are you suggesting I piss on myself?” Cas replied.
Dean laughed, but it wasn’t tense like it usually was when Cas wanted to have conversations of sexual nature. He’d gotten rather used to explaining things to him. Cas didn’t share the awkwardness most humans held towards sexuality and Dean knew he could talk openly about almost anything. It was cathartic almost.
“I don’t want you to piss your pants to force yourself to enjoy something,” Dean stated. “That’s not how it works.”
“I don’t want to force myself to enjoy it. I just want to understand the appeal,” Cas said.
Dean shrugged. “Then do it if you want, I guess. It’s not the route I’d have ever naturally taken. Just don’t do anything nasty in my car.”
“I know better than that,” Cas stated. “Can I ask you something you would consider an invasive question?”
“You always do,” Dean said.
“Have you had sex with a man before?” Cas asked.
Dean hesitated on answering. “You really weren’t kidding when you said it was invasive.”
“It doesn’t seem that personal to me, but I figured to you it would,” Cas replied.
“Well, I have,” Dean said. “Not often, but I have.”
“Have you ever urinated with a man?” Cas continued.
“Next to a man or as part of sex?” Dean asked.
“Sexually.”
“Once,” Dean replied. “My idea. We gave it a shot, but it wasn’t his thing. Kind of killed the vibe.”
“That must have been disappointing,” Cas stated.
“Yeah, really was,” Dean chuckled. “Given, that that was the only time I had the balls to ask one of the few men I’ve slept with to whip it out and piss on me.”
Cas gawked at him. “On you?”
“Is that a surprise?” Dean asked. “Or is that just one of the things you didn’t realize people did.”
“I did not realize people desired that,” Cas said.
“Yeah,” Dean replied. “People can be into really weird things, sometimes.”
“Apparently,” Cas hummed, looking back at the road. “Do you think we get cell service out here?”
“I don’t think so, but wifi should work. I stole Sam’s hotspot,” Dean said.
“That’s all I needed,” Cas stated.
Cas put his phone on mute and faced it away from Dean. He opened up Dean’s porn website of choice and watched a few various videos. When it came to other people, it was all curiosity. With Dean, there was a trace of something more than curiosity. There was a hint of lust when he thought of him.
Cas watched a video first, where a young woman bounced around and squirmed and fidgeted for a while before giving up and having an “accident” in her clothes all over the bathroom floor. Then, he watched a video where a man and a woman took turns relieving themselves on each other. The last video, however, appealed to something inside him. The men vaguely resembled him and Dean. Two men stood in a bathtub together. One got on his knees and let the other soak him down. Cas’s dick throbbed at the thought of Dean doing anything like that.
Cas put the videos away after that, not wanting to get himself too visibly aroused in the car next to Dean.
Dean and Cas arrived in El Paso and began investigating what was going on. A local school seemed to be haunted by a poltergeist, which Dean was eager to handle and get out of the way.
“I should not have had all that coffee this morning,” Dean muttered, pulling the car off to the side of the road down the street from the high school. “Sorry.”
Dean did the same maneuver with the car doors as before, opening both the passenger side doors and facing away from the road.
“You don’t need to apologize for having functioning kidneys, Dean,” Cas said. “I don’t care to watch this time.”
Dean snorted. “Oh, where are my manners? I forgot to ask if you wanted to be a pervert this time.”
“I was just curious, not being a pervert,” Cas stated, hearing Dean unzip his pants behind him.
“I know,” Dean replied. “I’m just teasing you.”
Cas looked around at the park-like area surrounding them and sighed happily. “It’s really pretty here.”
“Yeah,” Dean muttered.
Cas listened to the sound of liquid splashing against the pavement forcefully and pretended it was a smooth river hidden somewhere. He would rather imagine nature than a penis.
Dean zipped back up and got back in the car. “Why don’t I take interviewing the students and you take the teachers? I have a feeling you’d be too awkward with kids and they wouldn’t want to open up to you.”
“I’m not awkward,” Cas stated.
“Yeah, you are,” Dean remarked, driving back down the road. “You’re too blunt and kind of an ass, but don’t worry, it’s endearing to me and Sam.”
“I suppose you’re correct. Subtleties of human culture seem to be a thing I will never grasp,” Cas replied.
Dean pulled up to the parking lot of the school and adjusted his tie. “Alright, Agent Collins. Let’s see what we can do.”
One salted and burned set of bones later, Dean and Cas were back in the hotel room.
“You should wear suits more often,” Cas said, loosening his tie.
“Why?”
“They look good on you.”
Dean laughed. “Where would I wear a suit? I spent most of my time with you and Sam or at bars.”
“You could wear a suit to the bars. It would definitely help you pick up women. Or men,” Cas said.
Dean shook his head. “Not worth it. I can pick up anyone I want just fine without a suit.”
Dean took his tie off and began undoing the buttons on his shirt.
“I would do it,” Cas said.
“What?” Dean looked up at him. “Do what?”
“I’d urinate on you,” Cas replied.
“Remember how I said I didn’t want to do anything sexual with you because you’re my best friend and it would make things weird?” Dean asked.
“Yeah, but, things never got weird from the first time you said they would, did they?”
“No,” Dean muttered. “But all we do is talk about sexual things, we don’t do them.”
“You let me stare at your penis today, Dean,” Cas replied. “That didn’t make things weird.”
“It didn’t,” Dean stated.
In his head, he was actually entertaining the idea. Cas wasn’t as naïve as he used to be, and he was actually asking Dean for this. This was something Dean had dreamt and fantasized about more times than he would ever admit, but he was so worried if he gave in, he’d lose his best friend eventually.
“I’m curious and you’re into it. There’s nothing to lose,” Cas said.
Dean sighed and broke eye contact with Cas. “I feel like there is.”
“I promise, Dean. We’ll just platonically urinate on each other. It’s not going to complicate things. We don’t have to do anything even sexual,” Cas said. “It can just be this.”
Dean looked back at Cas and bounced one eyebrow. “Okay, fuck it.”
“Really?” Cas asked.
“I trust you,” Dean said. “If you say it won’t be weird for you, then I believe you.”
Cas smiled and began rapidly undoing his belt. “I haven’t used the bathroom all day. Please go into the restroom right now.”
Dean laughed and got off the bed. “I don’t know if there’s room for us both in the shower. Maybe one of us can kneel in the shower and one of us stand outside it and we can swap?”
“Maybe it would be easier to just get on the floor?” Cas asked.
“I don’t know.” Dean stood and looked at the room. “It might be kind of messy.”
“Dean,” Cas said sternly. “Get on the fucking floor before I ruin this by just wetting my pants.”
Dean fell to his knees in front of Cas and smiled. “Whatever you say.”
Cas gasped and reached for his pants.
Dean eyed the wet streak down his pant leg and laughed. “You weren’t kidding. You’re pissing yourself.”
“I know,” Cas said, pulling his cock out and showering Dean’s jacket and shirt with pee. He moaned quietly and whimpered. “I’ve never had to go to the bathroom this bad before.”
“Feels good, doesn’t it?” Dean replied, arching back so Cas could wet down more of him.
Cas nodded. “It does.”
Dean reached up and pulled Cas closer towards him. Cas stumbled forward and ran his hands through Dean’s hair.
Dean looked up at him and took in the surreality of the situation. He’d longed for this so long and it was exactly how he pictured it. Cas towered over him and was holding Dean up against him. Dean could watch Cas slowly sliding into full-blown arousal as his dick began standing out and flushing a pinkish hue.
As Cas finished emptying his bladder, a string of precome dangled off the end.
“Sorry,” Cas muttered. “It just kind of happened.”
Dean looked up at him as he licked the pre-come up and then dragged his tongue up Cas’s length.
Cas gasped and moaned, then pushed Dean away. “I thought you didn’t want to do anything inherently sexual?”
Dean sat back and looked up at Cas, nearly drooling over how large Cas’s cock looked from that angle.
“You don’t even know, Cas,” Dean groaned. “If things aren’t weird already, they’re not going to be. And all I’ve wanted to do since I’ve met you and is get on my knees and suck you off. So can I just do that?”
Cas tilted his head slightly and squinted at him. “Yes.”
“Thank you,” Dean whispered, sinking his whole mouth down.
Cas moaned and Dean began moving back and forth, sloppily licking the tip every pass.
“Your mouth feels so much better than my hand,” Cas breathed.
“That’s kind of why people like blowjobs, Cas,” Dean said.
“Makes sense.” Cas moaned loudly as Dean returned his mouth.
Dean ran his hands up the back of Cas’s legs and panted. He paused so he could breathe and started touching Cas with his hand. Dean sat squarely beneath the head of Cas’s cock and began quick jerking movements with his fist. Cas whined and moaned and tugged gently at Dean’s hair.
“Dean,” Cas breathed. “Fuck, Dean.”
Cas’s hands turned into fists and he shuttered as he came, Dean closing his eyes and making Cas release on his face. Cas looked down at him, chest heaving.
“Was I supposed to do that?” Cas asked.
Dean nodded vigorously and tugged at Cas’s arms. “Come on.”
Cas got on the ground in front of Dean, kneeling in the puddle he’d made. Dean pushed Cas backwards onto a dry spot on the floor and climbed on top of him, sitting on his stomach. “Is it my turn yet?”
“Yes,” Cas said.
Dean bent down and started kissing him, dragging his hands down Cas’s face and pressing him into the floor.
“There’s no coming back from this, is there?” Dean pulled back and lingered a couple inches from Cas’s face, hands still on his cheeks.
“What’s to come back from?” Cas asked.
“All of this. Us.” Dean looked at him somberly. “There’s no way both of us can go back to being friends after knowing how good this could be, right?”
“Why would you want to go back?” Cas replied. “I don’t want to go back.”
“I don’t either,” Dean said, kissing him again.
“Then let’s not.”
“Yeah,” Dean breathed. “Let’s not.”
Dean knelt over Cas and began wetting himself, wringing out his pants so Cas could see the piss dripping off of him. Cas watched unblinking as Dean’s pants developed a wet sheen and soaked a stain into his own white shirt.
Dean started kissing Cas on the floor again, both of them wet in sopping clothes.
“I want to give you oral sex, too,” Cas whispered.
Dean groaned slightly. “You don’t have to.”
“I want to, though,” Cas replied.
“You’re not going to get far,” Dean stated. “You’re my literal wet dream, Cas.”
“What’s a wet dream?” Cas asked.
“When you have a dream that’s super sexual,” Dean said. “There’s a little more nuance than that.”
“I think I understand,” Cas replied.
Dean sat up and moved up towards Cas’s face. He unbuttoned his pants and undid the zipper.
Cas reached into Dean’s pants and touched him. He just held him there, in shock he was actually doing it. As soon as Cas pulled Dean’s cock out, come dripped onto his face.
Cas smiled and kept stroking him until nothing more came out. Dean panted and kissed him again.
“Which one of us gets to shower first?” Cas asked.
“You shower,” Dean said. “I’ll mop this up with some towels. Take your clothes in the shower and you can wash them out.”
Cas nodded and Dean sat up off of him.
“I get it now,” he stated.
“Get what?” Dean asked.
“Why you like when people urinate on each other,” Cas said. “Though I still don’t understand it for what it is. The logic behind the appeal is lost on me.”
Dean laughed. “You don’t have to get the logic to enjoy something.”
When Dean got out of the shower and went into the main room, Cas was in his bed.
“Why are you in my bed?” Dean asked.
“Is it strictly yours?” Cas replied.
Dean sighed. “Did you want to be closer to the air conditioner? Because that’s fine. I can take the other one.”
“Why can’t we just share the bed?” Cas asked.
“I know I said some things,” Dean stated. “But I was thinking with my dick, not my head.”
“Is that your way of trying to say you don’t actually want to do this again?”
“No, it’s my way of trying to say that you and I can’t be a thing,” Dean said.
“Why not? I thought that’s what you wanted?” Cas replied.
“It is, but it isn’t,” Dean stated, sitting on the other bed across from him. “I want you, but you’re my family. And I don’t want to ever lose what family I have left.”
“I’m always going to be your family, Dean.” Cas reached out and grabbed his hand. “That’s the thing about family–they’re always there.”
Dean looked down at their hands.
“Dean, I promise. You don’t have to choose,” Cas whispered, putting his other hand on top of the hand he was holding. “I’ve never felt like this about anyone else.”
“What? Wanting to fuck them?” Dean asked.
“No,” Cas said. “Well, yes, but that’s not what I mean.”
“What do you mean then?”
“I think about you, Dean, and all I want is to touch you and kiss you and just be with you. I want to feel less lonely with you. Or I want both of us to feel lonely together,” Cas answered.
Dean looked back up at him and sighed. “You think I don’t want that, too?”
“Dean,” Cas whispered. He patted the bed beside him. “You can trust me.”
Dean fidgeted with Cas’s fingers. “We’re not telling Sam.”
“Okay,” Cas said.
“Okay.” Dean slowly got off the bed and jumped over Cas and sat beside him.
Cas smiled at him. Dean smiled back and brushed some of Cas’s hair in place with his fingers.